New story. Just to have some fun. I hope you like it.
Before you start to read, you have to know that this Bella is so foul-mouthed, and probably they'll talk a lot about sex, that's why this story is rated M. If you don't like it, don't start to read.
I would love to read your reviews.
And finally, please excuse my mistakes. I'm not English, nor American, I'm just trying to do my best. If there's anyone out there who wants to help me with my language issues... well, that would be great!
Anything you can recognize is Stephenie Meyer's property. I'm just trying to write this crazy story.
"Fuck, Bella, those are quite dark circles under your eyes... you're going to need pounds of concealer".
Yes. That woman so amusing and nice -please, take note of the sarcasm-, is my best friend, Alice Cullen. Best friend and desired sister in law, just her huge asshole brother is completely blind. Ten years, ten fucking years in love with him, and he doesn't even know about my existence. Well, he does know that I exist... We're friends. The best friends. Shitty luck, right?
"The son of a bitch of your brother brought one of his one-night-stand girls again yesterday. They spent the whole night hitting my bedroom's wall -yeah, that wall that separate our apartments and looks like it's made of paper, cause I can hear EVERYTHING- with his headboard. I could hear him praising her beautiful boobs and she screaming a few "oooohhhhsss" and "aaaahsss" that let me tell you, sound like a fake orgasm".
"Seriously, Bella. I know you're in love with him, and I'd love things were different, but sweetheart... he's twenty-seven years old, I don't think he's going to change."
Like she's telling me something new... I know, I know how Edward is, he himself take care of showing me, but I can't take him out of my head.
"It's just that I know his truly self, Alice. Under that shell of irredeemable shag-happy womanizer, a good man is hiding"
"It seems like the foolish excuse you always use, Bella. Edward is an irrecoverable philanderer. Does it matter he is a good man? He'll never see you the way you want him to see you". Fucking little shitty voice, sometimes I'd like to take your advices and topics and get them into that place of yours never hit by the sun.
"I know, Bells. But changing is something he has to do. As Carlisle says "tree that grows twisted, never straightens up its branches", you've waited for him for ten years, and I don't want to see you wasting your life, dear. You deserve someone better, someone that makes you happy".
The fucked thing is she's right. I deserve something better, I deserve to be loved, I deserve a man who brings me flowers and candies, a man who flatters me when I use a beautiful dress, who whispers dirty words in my ears before he takes me to bed, a man who wants to get laid with me cause he desires me, no because my boobs are bigger than a basket ball, something that, in my case, is completely impossible. My boobs can be placed in "flat like a plank" type; they're completely out of "big as some planet" type of boobs. I look at my breasts with bitterness, "Why the hell you didn't end of growing up, fucking bastards, instead of staying the same way you were when I was fourteen?". I sigh. Alice is right, this has no remedy. I need to stop thinking someday he'll wake up, he'll look at me and suddenly the world will stop spinning, there will be no gravity for him, it will be me who held him tied to earth... those are just romantic ideas I've read in some book about teenagers falling in love for eternity.
Let's be sincere. Men are simple, like the mechanism of a pacifier. If they have their needs covered —this is, food on the table, clean clothes, and someone they can fuck—, they don't look for anything else. And Edward is quite self-sufficient in the two first categories. Regarding the third one... he's so hot he just has to smile at you to make your panties fall on the floor out of the impression and run desperate escaping from the flood. Yes. Edward is hot... really hot... super mega hot, just like doctors recommend, and he has all the women he could want to cover his needs in the third category.
And that's a complete shit for me. If he has problems to hook up, maybe I could have a chance, maybe he would pay attention to me. But, again, I'm not quite astonishing to attract his attention. "Why, fucking genetics? Why can't I have Scarlett Johansson's boobs, JLo's buttocks and Marion Cotillard's eyes? Why, damn nature, did you make me ungraceful as a stick and so clumsy? Why can't I wear those heels like the blondes Edward usually fuck with use?"
I'm decided. This ends up today!
"Alice" My friend looks at me and seems to be confused, I guess it's because the gesture on my face. "I need your help". I try to gather all my strength to say the next sentence. I'm so aware it will be hard. A lot. "I'm going to forget your brother"
"Yippee" Alice jumps and claps like a little girl, I know she'd like things were different between Ed and I, and she'll support me to leave him behind. "Finally, I can organize you a date with Alec..."
"A date? Seriously?" How long have been since my last date? Years, yeah, years...
"My brother, the moron, he hasn't make anything good for your self-esteem, Bella. You're beautiful and I'm sure a lot of men out there are willing to recognize it. You just let me..."
Okay, I let her do... what can I lose? A Saturday night at my house, watching romantic movies, eating popcorn and ice-cream and drinking coke? Anyway, I can't wait until Alice's plan takes effect. No. This very night my own plan is going to begin. It's called "Now, you'll know how it feels". Tonight, Edward Cullen is going to find out how annoying it is to wake up in the middle of the night because someone is hitting your wall with his headboard while a fake blonde with plastic boobs, type "if I fall to the ground I'll rebound", screams like some hysterical asking you to get your big dick inside her. Oh, yes, Lord! Tonight, he's going to see.
Tonight, when he hits my wall to wish me sweet dreams, I won't answer. He'll hit my wall three times, followed by a three seconds pause, and another two times, but he'll get no answer... at least, not the kind of answer he's waiting for. The hits will have a completely different nature. I can almost imagine myself laughing with that evil laugh of the Austin Powers' movies. I don't look beautiful being bald, but I like the cat and that laugh "muahahahahahahahaha" with my little finger beside my mouth. I would like to look like Felicity Shagwell or Foxxy Cleopatra, but I'm pretty sure that I look like Frau Farbissina... Holy shit! Not even in my own lucubration I can feel like a cute chick.
I arrive to my house sooner than usual. I don't want Edward to see me; I want to be at home when he comes back. I won't answer if he rings my bell, though. Sometimes, he comes and we eat dinner together or see a movie. He usually tells me about the fake blond he is dating at that moment, while he sits down on my sofa and drinks my beer. After two or three... he can tell me almost anything. Gross. I once have to endure it while he told me about a Cirque du Soleil contortionist he had fucked. Once he went back to his apartment, I tried to copy some of the positions he described me and I discovered my body wasn't so flexible. That and the fact my imagination is poor. She can do that with her feet? Seriously?
I can hear him at my entrance door. I get closer stealthily and I look out through the spy hole. He's outside, in the landing, alone. It's perfect, so handsome it has to be a sin. God, he's only at my door and I think my panties are willing to burn up to the point of disintegration by incineration. If he's able to make me feel this way without try... how would it feel if he wants to drag me to bed? "Forget it, baby, you'll get laid with that man when frogs breed hair, and I mean they breed it in a natural way... no if you make them a transplant". I shake my head, trying to clear my mind and focus on my mission. Tonight, my revenge will start...
"Bells! Are you at home?" he says, while he hits my door with his fists again. "Bells?"
I can see him walking toward his apartment, just beside mine. In an hour, hour and a half, he'll be wishing me good night. I run to my computer, and look for the porn movie I've downloaded. Yeah, I know, piracy is a felony, but... Have you seen the titles? "Edward Penishands" -I've to say... this is my favorite one-, "The Boobyguard" or "Gangbangs of New York". No, no fucking way I'm going to rent those movies at the same place we rent all the movies we see every weekend. What would I do if the post-teenager with severe acne problems that works there tells Edward? Ed would laugh at me for the rest of my life. So, just this time, the responsible Chief Swan's daughter, who always respects the law, has broken the rules. I'm afraid that, at any moment, an FBI agent would come to arrest me. I just hope he's hot. If a guy is going to touch me, I'd prefer he's a hunky man.
I press the play button on my laptop and, fucking god! Is that dick real? That's not possible. That has to be some kind of optical or visual effects. It's impossible there's one so big and thick. I've never seen a movie like this and I'm freaking out. "No, not that way! That's the wrong hole!" What the hell are these girls' cunts made of? Titanium? Cause I'm pretty sure that, after such a cock, you'll walk like John Wayne, cowboy way.
The movie's script won't win an Oscar, but it will work. "Ok, you smart girl. Do you really think people see this kind of movies because of their scripts?" I choose a few sentences and scenes, just with the man's phrases, because I'm going to say my lines. Edward will notice if I do it otherwise, because he couldn't recognize my voice. Everything ready, I just have to wait patiently.
TOC, TOC, TOC —one, two, three seconds— TOC, TOC.
I do not answer with our usual sign. Right now he's wondering if I'm at home. I let five minutes pass, and I decide it's time to start the show. I hit the wall several times with my bed, in a slow and rhythmical way. I press the play button and the actress start to moan in a scandalous way. Please... seriously? I stop that video and I start to moan myself. If Meg Ryan could do it in the middle of a cafeteria en "When Harry meets Sally" why couldn't I pretend to have an orgasm in the privacy of my own bedroom? I moan in such a scandalous way that reminds me the blond girl Edward took to his house last night. Why do I know she's a blonde? Well, maybe I did not see her, but I know which his type is. They have been that way since high school. Blond -they usually dye their hair, and I do not understand why he do not realize it-, big boobs -honestly, how can he believe that than women, so skinny, could have such big boobs naturally? Obviously, silicone. The problem is —I'm sure there are exceptions, it's only he never crosses paths with an intelligent one— these women are normally dumb. I increase volume to make sure that my neighbor is going to hear this. I continue to hit the wall with my bed, now a little faster, and the line that I choose sounds in my bedroom.
"I love your tight cunt, baby!" I flush completely. Fortunately, he can't see me, I would be so ashamed.
"Are you sure you can put that into my...? God, you are soooo big!" I scream in a faltering way, ending it with an intense and long moan, and a few "more, oh, more, harder, faster...", a few "Hummmmhh, oooooohhhh! And finally a few "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" while I keep to push my headboard towards the wall.
"Turn around, baby. Let me see your ass!" the image in the video is unbelievable. I have the tremendous butt of the porn actress in the forefront and I can see how he's pushing his cock inside her till the end. Till the end! How's that possible? I can't understand how he can push that huge cock inside her, seriously. Is that girl hollow inside?
The sound of a slap echoes in my bedroom. God! I think I'm going to piss just of laugh. I try to imagine Ed's face while all of this is happening. This is the first time, after four years living one beside the other, he heard me having sex.
"You would like so, baby... you? Having sex? In your dreams..." Actually, I never have sex. Twenty-four years old and virgin... what a waste! And that's just because I'm waiting for him. Did he worth it? No. Well, I'm going to give my virginity a farewell big time... or, at least, that's what he's going to believe.
"Tom, Tom... Fuck! Harder, harder! Fuck me harder!" I scream. Oh, my God! I hope anyone could find this out. I can barely stop laughing. I keep pushing my headboard against the wall with all my strength. My knees are buried on the pillows and my hands are hitting the wall. Rhythmic blows faster and more intense each time.
"You're a whore behind that schoolgirl mask!" yes, I did choose that line on purpose. Fuck him. I know I have no experience at all, but for him, I would do anything for him. "Suck it! Clean it! Did you come, baby?"
I stop hitting the wall, the only sound now are the male moans of the fucking porn movie. I'm just getting horny, just because of doing this nonsense, and I'm going to need a cold shower.
After some minutes without hits, I decide it's time to get back to action. So, I start a new video.
"Come here, baby. I'm going to fill your pussy!"
I know, the phrase is as rough as a pair of straw panties, but wasn't worse than his "baby, you have huge boobs" or the phrase that had traumatized me the most "I'm going to push my cock so far inside you; you're going to feel it in your throat". I'm just giving him some of his own medicine, don't I?
After some minutes hitting his wall, mixing it with the lubricious sounds of the two porn actors, I put in motion my final plan. Yes, the actress does come in a very scandalous way, but I know it's a good way to end. That's the way every woman Edward fucked did end. They screamed like he was killing them, even if it was just out of pleasure.
"Tom, Fuck, Tom!" I scream like crazy before I end my amazing performance with a moan that could embarrass the porn actress.
If there were Academy Awards for fake porn movies, I would win an award for the best main character. I wait some minutes, and then I walk to my home's door, I open it and I close it again, hard, making sure it was hard enough for him to hear.
I wait impatiently to hear again the hits in my wall, those that are destined to wish me sweet dreams every night. But instead of that, I hear him hitting my door. Okay. "The show must go on" I tell to myself, while I tangle up my hair and I spray my face, neck and my cleavage with thermal water, I want him to believe I'm sweating. I take off my clothes, while I scream "Coming!" to make him know I'll open the door. There's nothing under my gown, not even my panties. It's a gown the girls gave to me my last birthday. It looks like a kimono; it's a royal blue and so short that if I bend down he'll see my depths. I look at my reflection on the mirror, to make sure that I look like a well-fucked girl. I pinch my cheeks to make sure they are totally red and I spray a little more water, so my skin looks wet. Now I'm ready.
I open the door to find Edward's shaken face.
"Are you okay, Bella?" he asks me, while he's looking for something in my living room.
"Sure" I whisper, "Why?", I ask him, while I move the water/sweat away from my face, my hand moving down my cleavage to my boobs. The gown opens up a little, letting him to see my small rounded breasts and I can observe, in ecstasy, his eyes are open wide. Is he looking at my breasts? They are not his type! He always says "Tit that doesn't cover your hand, it's not a tit, it's a zit" and he has huge hands...
"You're screaming..." he says it as it was something bad.
"Out of pleasure..." I reply, "I'm sorry I waked you, Ed... Tom is a little... ardent"; "you should say he's a fake". Fucking, shitty, little conscience of mine.
"Ardent? You both looked like a fucking porn movie, Bella. Did he hurt you?"
"Yes..." I confess embarrassed, he seems furious, "but I would die happy if he keeps hurting me that way. It was long ago I didn't have such a good night..." oh, yes! Blush appearing in 3... 2... my face is on fire. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to bother you. Don't worry, go back to sleep, he's gone..." I say as I shrug as it does not mean anything.
"Are you dating him?" he asks, and I can feel his curiosity. Why the hell is he curious? He never worried about me dating someone, well, I didn't date anyone.
"Are you kidding me?" I scream like he has offended me. "Tom is extremely handsome, but right now I'm not interested in love affairs. He's just a friend with benefits, he's just good sex... you know... do now and then something good for my body... Now, if you excuse me... "I say as I point the door, "I'm exhausted, I believe I'm going to sleep like a baby... Tom is... resistant".
I bend down to pick up some cushions on my floor, forgetting I do not wear my panties. I realize he's watching it all when I hear the sound of his throat trying to swallowing down.
"Bella..." his voice is a suffocated moan; it has a tone I've never heard before.
"Good night, Ed..." I repeat, while I point my home's door in a mute invitation to leave my house.
Yes! Bella Swan 1, Edward Cullen 0... You'll learn how it feels... you son of a bitch!
Esme... she's a saint, but his son... he's a bastard. I smile because of my little victory, and I throw myself on the bed with a smile as big as the Cheshire Cat's one, thinking that despite of my idea could be catalogue as a success, I can't fake forever, so from tomorrow on I have to change many things in my life, I yawn. The person who said that to pretend do not cause tiredness was because he never pretend to be fucking. I close my eyes and let the only man in my life catch me in his arms...
Welcome, Morpheus.