Pidge groaned lightly as she ran her fingers through her wet copper hair.

Waking up from a nightmare is no fun, no matter where you are.

Combining that with sweat drenched hair, and ugly crying is enough to make anyone feel like shit.

This past week had been tough; Ezor and Zenthid had given her quite the shock after all. But that didn't excuse the lack of sleep that was plaguing her. It was usual but had been growing steadily worse. Her teammates had noticed her lack of attentiveness as of late.

She had almost gotten her head chopped off by a trainer earlier, and had fallen asleep during one of the diplomatic meetings with their host's people. But the Swerlderchi had been understanding, and no miscommunication had aroused from her insomniac-behavior.

She sighed as she towel dyed her hair, late night showers were good for clearing your head and sinuses, but now she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. She grabbed her bayard off the counter to light the way back to her room, trying to ignore the deja vu it brought up, not noticing how pale her hands were nor that they were shaking. Wiping a stray tear from her cheek she headed for the kitchen.

Late night goo was hardly the best comfort food, but it was what she had.

Walking into the forever-lit room; Pidge noticed the light noise from the table. Glancing over she saw the blue paladin hunched over his own bowl of goo, a few stray droplets near the base of his bowl.

She grimaced slightly, she wasn't the only one who ugly cried it seemed.

She began awkwardly considering her options in the doorway, Lance seemed none the wiser of her presence.

She could get Shiro, who always seemed to know what to do, or Hunk, being the most compassionate team member. Pidge shook her head as he let out another sob. But Shiro seems more closed off lately, and was crazy stressed, and Hunk was exhausted from fixing the training bots after Keith had maxed out one of the bots by throwing it into the invisible walls. Who else could help him though?

Could she...

She shook her head lightly, how could she.

Lance needed someone strong, kind, and comforting. She glanced down at her small thin body distastefully.

Pidge was extremely factual; and the facts stated she was the last person he'd want to see. But before she could move; another sob tore it's way through his throat and Pidge was overcome with emotions she could not yet describe.

Moving to him she pulled the spoon out of his shaking hands and pulled him into a hug. Holding him to her chest as he cried she rubbed his back soothingly.

Matt had always testified to the fact that she was far more cuddled and open the later it got. It was scientifically proven true, but Pidge had denied it with a passion at the time. Trying to blink back the tears that had once again pooled up, she hugged him tighter. Now was not the time; Lance needed her. So she stayed there while he calmed. His sobs tearing into her like blades, and his labored breaths threatening her composure.

Eventually he was still and tapped her side twice to signal that he was okay.

Humming slightly in acknoledgment, she released her hold on him.

He straightened up and stared at his lap. His eyes were rimmed with red, and tear tracks ran all over his face. His nose had left snot on her sweater, and felt damp and sticky, but she simply smiled at him. Reaching forward to wipe away a couple tear tracks on his check bones. She ignored the way her heart rate had picked up slightly, she was supposed to be here for him right now. Finally his hand reached up and grabbed hers, his grip was firm, but his hands were shaking. She waiting in surprise for him to gather himself.

Still keeping his head bowed, maybe even more so, he cleared his throat. "Y-you could have been hurt. You c-could have been hurt." He muttered as his grip on her wrist tightened slightly.

"How?" Pidge asked in surprise. "Oh, are you talking about training? I'm sorry, I'll be more careful I promise, I just hadn't slept well and-" her breath hitched as his hand tightened sharply on her wrist.

Pain shot through her sleeve covered wrist slightly. But she refused to whimper, her teammates didn't know about her bruises and didn't need to. They were already careful enough around her lately; tiptoeing like she was made of glass.

"Y-you could have b-been freaking killed, Pidge. Ezor c-could have k-killed you. What would i- we have done then?" He said, still trembling and gripping her wrist hard.

Wincing slightly; Pidge dug her free nails into her thigh to center herself.

"I'm ok Lance. It's okay, we got out and if i hadn't been, than Coran could've hacked you out." She reassured him.

She felt more tears glide onto her hand, which still was clutched there.

Suddenly worried she tried to tilt his head up a little. He refused so she brought her other hand up to wipe up his check again.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It happened, but it's over. Nothing you could have done. If the mice had been late then hunk or you could have towed the green lion out of there."

She reminded him, slightly confused as to the source of his misery.

When his breath hitched again she sighed slightly. "What's wrong Lance? We all got out, they don't have the Lion, we're ok here for a few more days."

"You still don't understand." He chuckled darkly.

Taking some offense she sat back. "Listen Lance; I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sorry I put the team in danger, but I didn't have a chance to react!"

For the first time Lance lifted his head up; allowing her to see his face.

His eyes were bloodshot, and heavy bags rested under them. He had scratch marks near his eyes and his eyes were dull. For a moment he just bored into her, causing her to remain quiet till he spoke.

"You could have died. You could have died; I couldn't do anything! Whose going to pilot your lion? Whose going to hack into enemy feed, and find your brother, and God whose going to stand between Keith and I when were arguing." His breathing became uneven, and his eyes portrayed urgency.

His grip began to shake more.

"Pidge, whose going to smile like its Christmas when we see a new robot, or kick my but in Killbot, or try weird new foods with me? Pidge you're so important! Not just to this freaking team! You're my best friend here!"

At this point he was hyperventilating, squeezing her hands so harshly that she began tearing up for more than one reason.

"Pidge, I-I cant loose you damn it! I cant freaking loose you!"

Unable to take it; she pulled him to her, allowing him to crush her wrists between them, and stain her sweater even more his his tears.

"Lance, I-I I didn't know you'd been affected this bad when I got hurt, I'm sorry." He pushed her back like he'd been slapped.

"Quiznacking what now? I would be crushed if you got hurt!" His eyes suddenly widened in realization.

His voice dropping to a dangerously fragile whisper.

"Did you say 'when I got hurt'?"

Pidge's breath hitched slightly.

Shit.

"Erm, uh, no. Sorry, my bad. I-I didn't mean to imply, to say that is that I-"

"What the hell, Pidge!" He exclaimed, before leaning down and swooping her bridal style in one quick movement.

Not noticing Pidge's slightly flushed cheecks and gasping of surprise he ranted on down the hallway.

"Why didn't you say something! Of course, how could I forget. You're the invisible Pidge Gunderson. Strong, fearless, and with little to no care for your own personal health!"

Sudden (and completely unexplainable) flusterdness gone, she growled slightly.

Huffing at that she crossed her arms in resentment.

"Not true!"

He looked at her with a deadpan expression and continued down the hallway.

"You skip lunch every day, weigh about 90 pounds, don't even sleep most nights, and have probably skipped your doctor's appointment for the past year."

Seeing her shock he chuckled slightly. "You posed as a boy for a year remember? I'm betting you faked the medical papers since... yeah. I could see the computer glow in your room for the past week when I walked by at 12 am. Im carrying you right now and can tell that Hunk could break every bone in your body if his bear hug got enthusiastic enough."

He finished, completely deadpan.

Stifling a nervous giggle she tried to puff out a little.

Lance tightened his hold on her, surprising her enough to sink back on on herself slightly, and smirked.

"Nice try, shrimp, you're literally skinny as a rail."

He set her down gently on a bed, and it was only then she realized they were in the med bay.

"I swear I'm fine Lance." She insisted nervously as he grabbed a scanner.

He quirked his eyebrow; running the scan anyways. Suddenly an affermative little beep ran through the room.

He looked at the scanner in confusion.

Pidge let out a nervous breath when she saw the all clear sign. Thank God she had installed the signal de-stabilizer in this hoodie.

"See? Told you I'm fine." He considered it for a moment as she moved to get up.

But then he put his hand on her shoulder and pushed her down a little.

"Pidge; I know you wont like this, but I know you're hiding something. Take off your jacket."

Pidge steeled herself, "No."

Lance narrowed his eyes dangerously. Pidge wriggled him off and sat up, moving to hop off.

Suddenly her arms were pinned to her side, and her feet were off the ground. Her back was pushed up against something by strong and lean. Lance's arms had enveloped her in a giant bear-hug.

Feeling her anger bubble up instantaneously. "Lance! Lemme go you collosal-"

Lance tsk-tsked lightly. "Language Pidge!" He said sing-songly.

He sat back and just kept hugging Pidge to his lap, restraining her quite effectively.

Finally letting her kicking subside she pouted angrily; spent of her twisting emotions, yet bitter that it had happened.

Lance hummed lightly with his head resting on hers.

"Better?" He asked sweetly, drumming his fingers on her arm.

Pidge grumbled, but couldn't deny it felt nice to have let out some of her emotions.

"Yeah I suppose." She sighed, "can I go now?"

She asked, still anxious to flee.

Lance shook his head no against hers.

"We're staying here till you agree to show me what's wrong."

He rubbed his forehead against the back of her head lightly.

"You cant do everything alone Pidge."

Struggling against raising tears she stiffened slightly. P

idge knew she should trust her teamates- trust Lance.

But she had been doing things on her own since Kerberos. Her mom had not been all there after they had gone, working, eating, sleeping. Katie would stay up till 3 am and skip breakfast and her mother wouldn't bat an eye.

She had never felt so alone.

When Katie had approached her mother with the galaxy garrison papers, her mother hadn't even noticed what it was for; had known that she would be receiving bills from a all-boys boarding school.

So when Katie was alone; Pidge had been born out of the need to do things on her own.

Pidge had been born because Katie was weak.

"I can't."

"Why?" Lance asked immediately; something curious but firm.

Pidge didn't feel his arms loosen, and she didn't feel him turn bitter.

"I c-cant Lance." She tried again.

He gave a small shrug. "Okay, but why Pidge?"

He spun her on his lap, so that her legs hung off the side of his, and her shoulder was resting on his chest. "Why wont you lean on anyone else for once? Why wont you trust us?" Why do you not trust me?" His voice and stature portrayed no emotions, but Pidge could sense it there. She felt the hurt laced into his words.

Feeling the ache in her chest she inhaled deeply.

"Because relying on others would turn me back to Kati- to the me before."

She felt tears burning in the corner of her eyes. Pidge braced her shoulders. She started for a brief moment when Lance squeezed her tighter.

"Who was she?" Lance asked, keeping his voice stable, though he was obviously curious.

"S-she was curious. A nerd, an outcast. Childishly dependent on her family, she had no friends. She... s-she was weak, and she was careless, and naive." She was cut off when Lance hugged her tighter, unaware that he had pressed down on her wrists.

"Pidge-Katie, she sounds sweet. So she was surrounded by idiots who couldn't see the girl before them, and maybe she was optimistic enough to believe the best in others and allow herself to trust others."

With that he pulled back slightly and tipped her chin up.

" But that just makes her more special. More you." He didn't even get a chance to finish before Pidge tipped herself forwards and wrapped her up for another hug.

He went stiff for a second before hugging her back tightly. Pidge took the opportunity to lightly rub her sore wrists inconspicuously, pulling the cuffs over her fingers silently as she embraced him gratefully.

When Pidge pulled away he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"That was sweet, and i meant it. But you're still taking off the sweatshirt Miss. Holt." Pidge smiled, trying to take some casualty, "nah."

But before she could say quiznack, Lance had swooped down and grabbed the loosened sleeves of her sweatshirt, pulling it upwards so that she couldn't escape.

Oh no.

He smirked at her, "Good luck escaping this mi belle."

Pidge narrowed her eyes into warning, "Lance don't you-"

"Too late." He pulled it up and her head began sliding through the jacket, slowly lowering Pidge to the ground as Lance pulled the sweatshirt up.

Attempting to hang on to the side Pidge stretched up; having the opposite effect.

She slipped out and fell onto the floor. Her hands immediately were thrust behind her back and she looked down in anxious expectation. She knew what he would see; ugly, pitiful, weak. She saw it herself; and she knew it was completely justified.

Bruises were littered throughout her entire arms and back, scars along her collarbone, and waist.

It was worse on her wrists, she knew her wrists could would send him into a fury. But right now he just looked at the bruises and scratches that littered her arms, he remained strangely quiet.

Lance being quiet felt so wrong; not that he was normally annoying, but a pleasant conversation seemed to always be coming out of him. At least when he wasn't arguing, or talking to Keith.

Finally he stepped forward and kneeled down, and took a grip on her forearms, and pulling them from behind her back.

She didn't resist; to unnerved to react. His eyes glazed over when he saw them. Burns stretched from above her wrist to right before the thumb knuckle.

And a few other scars littered across it.

He took a deep breath and helped her up.

Not looking Pidge in the eye the whole time. Ignoring the pain that clenched at her heart; she followed.

Lance led her to the cot and turning around to grab some bandages.

The silence was killing her.

"Lance..." Still not looking at her; he began applying burn cream to her wrists.

A little more insistently she pulled her hands up to force him to look at her.

"Lance."

"What." He asked blankly.

Feeling pain stab her through the heart she let out a small sigh.

She met his eyes and stared back hard. "Just let it out."

Instantly his hands left hers to grab her shoulders and shake them in anger and shock.

"Why would you not tell someone? Why didn't you tell me? I just want to help, Pidge! Why...why...why." His knees fell to the floor and his arms stayed trembling on her lap while he cried. Pidge leaned over; trying to embrace him, but he quickly grabbed her arms and pushed her back harshly.

His dark eyes concerned and furious.

"You're hurt, you idiot!" He scolded her; his words weighing him down so that his tear-filling face landed back on her lap.

As soon as his head was down Pidge leapt up and pulled him into a hug, like a switch was flipped he broke down again.

Tears dropping from his face quickly onto her lap.

"Its okay Lance, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She soothed as she ran her fingers through his short locks.

"Why don't you ever ask for help." He whispered heartbrokenly.

Fighting back her own tears at that; she began to weakly protest. "Its not that bad..."

He looked up in indignation, and subtly, very lightly squeezed his hand on her tender wrist.

She winced.

Giving a sigh of defeat Pidge pulled him closer and resumed petting him.

"Fine... i thought you all might look at me different, like I was too weak to care for myself."

He arched back in retort only to stop. He seemed to have a small mental battle of his own before slumping over slightly.

"I don't know about weak... but you do have a small point there. But that's no excuse not to care for yourself."

He chided, tears still falling down his face, more slowly.

Smiling weakly she allowed him to sit up next to her and sling his arm over her small frame.

"Next time I'll get you." She promised.

The look in his eyes filled me with joy. I smiled contentedly at his expression.

Finally they began making their way back; joking and sniggering quietly the whole way.

It was about three a.m., fatal.

Pidge realized that they were in front of her door. The cold, dull, metal door sliding back soundlessly. The randomly scattered objects castle dreary shadows across the room. Suddenly hyper-aware how the trash-sculpture's shadows cruelly resembled galena soldiers, she suppressed a shiver. Instinctivly curling into herself, she smiled with mock confidence, trying not to show her fear.

But something in her smile must have been strange; because he followed her inside.

He lay down next to her, and pulled the small girl into his arms by her waist.

Suddenly feeling very warm, she smiled up at him sincerely.

"This is nice… thanks." He smiled into her hair kindly.

"No problem, I know you have been trouble sleeping too."

He admitted, pulling Pidge to spoon closer.

"How'd you find out?" She asked curiously.

Pidge felt him sigh behind her. "You obviously hadn't been sleeping well, and you still had tears when you walked into the kitchen..." He began tracing circles on her back comfortingly.

"Wanna talk about it?" Smiling lightly; she hummed.

"Not- not yet. I just wanna lay here awhile." Pidge admitted, light blush playing at the edge of her features.

He began drumming his fingers on her back, "I'm sorry you're having nightmares. But you can let it go, you don't have too deal with it alone."

Pidge smiled through her falling tears. But they weren't so much sad tears anymore; they were happy tears. For having her space family. For being alive and well. For hope. And for Lance.

"Thanks Lance." She struggled weakly against the impending sleep. Eyelids suddenly heavy. "You're really smart, ya'know?"

He hummed lightly into her hair. "But of course, Madam Holt."

"Psh, a little pompous of you." Humming lightly she drawled out affectionately as sleep began to seize her. "Thanks, love ya…Lance."

She missed the furious blush that stuck his features, and the soft smile and kiss he pressed into her hair as she fell into unconsciousness.

But even sleep-deprivation couldn't keep her from hearing his next words. They barely registered to her before she was asleep.

"Love you, Katie."