Secrecy (Age 15)

Night calls out the specters, or that is what they say...

They're wrong of course, but if they knew...

That I have danced in moonlight,

I have danced in sunlight, and I have danced in rain.

I have seen a hundred thousand stars,

I have lived a hundred times today.

I know where the dark things go,

I have run through empty streets,

I have raced all through the sands,

I have known the unknown lands,

I have laughed a million times before along a foriegh, wild shore.

I have been a peasant and I have been a queen,

I have been a girl in love and I have been alone,

And I have been on the arm of the Great Unknown.

And they can never know of this,

Of my secret, sacred peace,

Never know my only friend,

The only love I've ever had.

They should never know that I have done what one should never do,

Never know that I have played through the endless night and day,

Been places where no mortal has ever dared to roam.

They must never know of this,

Never know my of true self,

Never know of this double life,

Never know of this attraction.

I have followed the trail of a madman over and over again,

For it is he, and he alone, who made me laugh again.

I have danced with a God,who crowned me Goddess,

I have looked into eternity and been unafraid.

I have been touched vy a devil, who swore his soul to me.

I have seen horror and knew it well,

I have held Death and ached for him.

I have cried a thousand times,

I have laughed a thousand times more,

And I have loved the intangiblemore than I love life itself.

For why should I love life?

It offers not what eternity does,

It's calm, and normal, and expected,

And it knows me not at all.

Therefore I love the shadows,

And the blackest dark of night.

Therefore I love what cannot be,

And therefore thay can never know.

It should be written in the stars,

It should be shouted to the skies

"I love him now forever more!"

But never can it be so.

So I love in secret,

So I weep alone,

So in the shadows must I creep,

This precious secret mine to keep.

And I don't care.

Because to him I am tthe world,

Because to him I am Goddess and Queen,

Because to him I am all that is wrong and right,

Because to him I am everything he loves, and worships, and adores.

By his hands I learned,

At his side I marveled,

In his arms I have loved.

And I will keep my secret,

And I will live my life,

But I long to cling to shadow,

To scarlet and yellow,

To black and white...

They say that specters only come out at night,

They're wrong.

And Yet.....So right.

"Miss Deetz, would you care to share what you are writing with the class, since it seems so much more important than history?" Ms. Clarebell asked, with angery rise of her eyebrow.

"Not really Ma'am," Lydia couldn't understand why she had written this poem, because as wierd as she liked being, this poem would push it far past what even she wanted. Unfortunately, the new substitute teacher had been more perceptive than she had planned.

"Well if it is important enough to ignore your History lesson, you should share it with the class. Up front if you please." The sub said, completely ignoring Lydia's reply.

"Oooooooooh, this should be good!" Whispered Claire to her snickering fan group.

Lydia ignored her, she had other things on her mind, like a certain havoc-wreaking poltergiest whom she had not seen in a year. She reached the front of the classroom and recited the poem without even looking down, why would she have to, when the words were imprinted on her mind and heart. By the time she had finished the whole class was staring at her, some with looks of awe, others, Claire particularly, like she had sprouted a second and third head.

"Wow, Lydia that was amazing, we didn't know you could write like that!" Bertha and Prudence called out.

"Indeed Miss Deetz, that is a gift that should be shared, have you shown your work to the writing department, surely thay could show ways to better your style, and things of that sort, but for now, please keep your mind on your history work." Ms. Clarebell said.

"Yes Miss." Lydia replied just as the last bell rang, she gathered her things and placed them in her bike basket and began her ride home. "Why did I write that? Why can't I stop thinking of him? I shouldn't miss him this much, I mean he was my best friend, but this feels like I've lost a limb, a really important one." She thought to herself. She spent the whole ride in silence, and greeted Delia only because she had to. She spent more time in her room now than she ever did... hoping against hope a familiar face would peer through her mirror, praying that she would hear that maniac cackle followed by the scream of her parents, but nothing happened it never did. "Where did you go?" She cried softly colapsing on her bed, and again crying her eyes out, wondering how many tears she had left in her.