The first time, it was happy.
A few tears trickled down his cheek as he gazed happily at his Pond's. He was standing by his console as Amy shouted 'bye!' at the planet of Falustorpiachia.
Amy and Rory had singlehandedly saved the planet while the Doctor and River were tied up in the complexity of planetary politics. The thing was, the real clincher was the fact that the people had said that gingers were they're good luck.
Apparently a red-headed woman of the species called 'human' had traveled here and saved them in a box exactly like theirs. Her name had been Donna Noble.
River knew this was a rare time where he remembered the good times he'd had with Donna Noble, instead of her absence.
River wondered if she would be able to meet that woman someday.
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The second time, he almost drowned.
Rory had gotten himself hurt, again. Amy had been kidnapped by water creatures and Rory had dived in after her.
Amy kicked the fish creatures in the face and escaped onto the sandy purple alien beach. Rory of course, had neglected, or forgotten you could never tell, that he couldn't swim.
The Doctor threw off his jacket and jumped in after Amelia's husband after he failed to surface. River held her trembling wet mother as the water rippled and no sign of the Time Lord or Rory.
Rory finally surfaced with a gasp and he saw Amy and smiled. Then he realized the Doctor was missing.
After lots of swimming they finally found that the creatures had dragged the Doctor down with them once Amy escaped their grasp.
They, more accurately River, rescued the Doctor and then Rory began to try and revive the man. Eventually he coughed up water and gulped great lungfuls of air.
Amy had begun laughing hysterically and then they all were. River still couldn't tell if the Doctor really was crying or just wet to the bone.
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The third time, it was memories.
There was a planet that had survived the atrocities of the Time War and well, the appearance of a TARDIS on their bloodstained soil had devolved into a mass hysteria and the almost-death of the Doctor.
He had managed to escape pushing River ahead of him with the creatures hot on his tail. They had managed to lay hands on him and his sleeves were torn and his face was littered with scratches.
The chase left them both leaning on the TARDIS doors chests heaving with exertion. River took charge and piloted them into the vortex while the Doctor collapsed on the jumpseat, a weary look on his young yet strangly old face.
Afterwards, on the TARDIS, he had dug through the TARDIS wires with ferocity and ripped apart things. The console room was a wreck when she found him up against the wall sobbing into his arms.
The night (or day) conisted mostly of her stroking his hair as he opened up bit by bit and told her pieces of the Time War. The only thing River could do was listen and hold him tight as he dealt with his demons.
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The fourth time, was the Ponds.
Amy had turned and said, "Raggedy Man, goodbye!" The angel had touched her and she had vanished.
The Doctor, who had been reaching out towards her trying to get her to come back with him- begging her to come back with him, had fallen to the ground. He sobbed into his hands, tears racking his body as Amy's last words echoed to him.
Even though it hurt, River had done the right thing and told her mother to go after her father. Now, she did it again and did not join the Doctor in his grief. Someone needed to look at the Angel.
Don't blink, and though it hurt River to see the Doctor weeping in grief, she did not follow him.
Her parents were gone and that hurt too, but she could not- would not turn away. She held that strong facade until the afterword was written.
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The fifth time, was strange.
The Doctor had finally taken her to the Singing Towers of Darillium.
It started with him showing up on her backyard doorstep with a top hat perched on his newly-cut hair. She flipped her curly hair as she took in his coat and tails.
"Hello, Sweetie. Is this a fancy dress occasion?"
"River Song, I'm taking you to the Singing Towers of Darillium!" He said grandly as he handed her a bouquet of flowers. River grinned, she had been begging to go to the Towers for years.
"Professor River Song now, Sweetie. I've been advanced from doctor." She wondered why his shoulders seemed to slump at her words.
River had changed into that lovely low-cut green dress that fitted her curves perfectly. She had then proceeded into the TARDIS out in the frontyard. Funny, he must have moved it to the front instead of the back.
And changed his clothes too. He looked very flustered when she appeared (had he just been talking to another person?) and asked her to check the bulb on the top. There was nothing wrong with it- what was wrong with him today?
Then her Doctor, in tails and coat, showed up at the door. "No, River, wrong TARDIS. I'm parked round back."
She gasped. "Younger version." The Doctor explained simply.
River was delighted. "Two of you! Oh, the mind races, does it not?"
"Come on, we'll be late." The older version of her husband said.
"He's taking me to the Singing Towers of Darillim. He's been promising for ages."
River left the TARDIS with a saucy flip of her curly space hair as the Doctor called it. She liked wearing it down especially since Sweetie liked it so much. The Doctor came into his TARDIS a while later with his mouth in a grim line. She fixed it with a kiss.
When the Towers sang and she told him about her expedition to the Library.
It should've have been perfect.
She could tell something was wrong all through it. He looked happy as ever with a new haircut and suit, but his smile was fake and his eyes were sad.
Before she left, he gave her a sonic screwdriver. "Where did you get this?" She said curiously as she turned it over in her hands.
"I built it." And, she felt it. The love and sorrow he had poured into making this screwdriver, but why?
She hadn't realized she had said that out loud.
He smiled and she guessed the word before it even passed his lips- "Spoilers."
She pretended not to see him cry at the end when she smiled sweetly up at him and kissed him before she vanished with her vortex manipulator.
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(+1)
The next week, she died saving her Doctor and four thousand and twenty-two people. She finally found out why the Doctor had cried.
River though, did not. River Song did not cry.
Still, her team did not say anything at the sight of a tear shimmering on her cheek every now and then as she remembered those she had lost, and those the Doctor, her sweetie, would lose in the future.