I am Kenny McCormick. I am the leader of the "Army of the Heavens". I lead Angels against Satan (formally Lucifer).
"NO!" I said to him. "Him". The Holy One. "He has changed, Kenneth." Said God. "I don't believe it." I spat at him. "He is an Angel now, Kenneth." God said, "He has changed."
After a long silence:
"Lucifer was an Angel, too."
God toke this as a hit below the belt, "And now he is going to try and make us disappear up our own asshole!" I yell, anger rising.
"Kenneth, he has changed. And how dare you question your savior. The one who gives you live every time you die!" God said, getting louder with every word.
"Eric Cartman will never change." I said to him.
I know Eric can't change. It's not like him. God maybe wrong, he may have made a few mistakes. Like making me immortal.
That is why I came here. I was, at first, an overseer in the human making line and then I got a job as trident maker for the Angels in the beginnings of the war.
I made such good tridents; I was promoted to designer and made the famous "Neptune" series. The rarest of which is my battle trident the "Neptune A-21: Poseidon", it is regarded as the greatest trident ever made.
I am now the "The Angel Keeper". I recruit Angels and lead the new recruits to battle. I also keep other Angels in check and can discharge any unless God disapproves.
That's what happened with Cartman. So, unless I have good reason, I can discharge him.
God knows I am gonna be hard on him, but, I am on everybody.
I just hope we can win this war without using the final weapon.