There is no point to the story besides just fun and crazy. I'll repeat: none. I'm jacked up on cold meds since my brother decided to give me his cold.
It is 6:00 am. The police have just summoned Kuchiki Rukia, Kurosaki Ichigo, Hitsugaya Toshiro, Abarai Renji, Inoue Orihime, and Rangiku Matsumoto to the main square for some questioning. Matsumoto of course is hung-over and feeling awful from another night of boozing.
Toshiro yawned, "What exactly do you want from us, waking us up so early. I'm hoping you have a decent reason considering I did not go to sleep until 2 because I was doing paperwork while my lieutenant partied."
"Don't worry captain," the policeman replied, "There is a very good reason. It concerns the disappearance of a fellow shinigami's sword."
"And we are the suspects?"
"Precisely."
"Whose sword?"
"Kurosaki's."
"Then why is he here among the accused?"
"Quite frankly, he looks like trouble. He could very well have set up the heist himself. Also, due to the fact that we just went through a series of budget cuts, we cannot conduct our investigation in the usual manner."
"Then how do we do it?" Toshiro asked exasperated.
"Ow, not so loud!" Matsumoto pleaded holding her throbbing head.
"Well," the police officer continued in a softer voice, "have you ever played the mystery game 'Clue?'" When the assembled suspects had given their assent, he continued, "Good, then I won't need to explain the rules."
Suddenly the group found themselves in a different landscape, and all were wearing different color armbands.
"Wait, what's going on here?!" Ichigo asked confused and irritated.
Rukia kicked him, "This is your fault you idiot! If you could keep track of your stupid sword better or at least know better than to call THEM!!"
"Hey can I trade armbands with you?" Renji asked Matsumoto, "It matches my hair."
"Only if you wanna be 'Ms. Scarlet,'" she replied.
"Never mind; but what would that make me?"
"You would be Professor Plum. Hmm, I wonder why they would make you a professor. You're certainly not bright enough."
"Look who's talking, you're no star pupil. At least I help with paperwork occasionally."
"Guys, would you shut up?" Rukia asked turning from yelling at Ichigo.
"I agree with Mrs. Peacock," Toshiro said arms folded.
"Oh, you're Colonel Mustard. That's fitting." Renji rolled his eyes.
"Well, at least I can fight."
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"
"Yeah, you're no professor if you can't figure that out."
Rukia calmly placed two fingers in her mouth and let loose an ear-splitting whistle. Everyone shut up at once and turned to Rukia in hurt amazement.
"Listen up! The only way we can possibly get out of this place is to play the game," Rukia said, "so would you guys cooperate so we CAN leave?!"
Everyone was dead silent; Orihime wasn't even paying attention. "I'll take that as a yes. Now everyone take your spots."
Matsumoto raised her hand, "Um, I have a quick question if you don't mind. How do we play this game? I mean I've played Clue before, but how much is the board game like this?"
Rukia sighed the sigh of a martyr. "It's the same. You take your place, you are told how many spaces to move, and you move them. If you end up in a room, you ask the questions, who, what, and in which room. When we figure out who it is, then we get out. Comprende?"
"Um, yeah I think so."
"Just go to your spot."
Renji said in a teasing high pitched voice, "Go to your room!"
Everyone started to laugh even Rukia, although hers was more of a begrudging chuckle.
So they all find their appropriate spots and slowly make their way through the game. On a good day, Clue is a brain bender, but at 6 am? Yeah that's a little difficult. But everyone was getting through it fine, even the drunk, the space, and the mental.
"Ok, I say Kurosaki in the Lounge with the knife," Rukia said.
"Hey if it was me with the knife, we wouldn't be looking for it now would we?" Ichigo demanded.
"Well, it's like the police said, you may have very well been the culprit!"
"Oh ye of little faith."
"Psh, how long have I known you?"
"ANYWAY," Toshiro broke in, "I'd hate to interrupt you two, but I can undo that little accusation of yours."
"I'm listening," Rukia replied.
"Well, Kurosaki was seen in the Dining room eating a snack at that time."
Rukia rolled her eyes, "Way to thank about your stomach boy!"
"I do, however, have the answer to our dilemma," Toshiro continued.
"What is it?" Matsumoto asked taking a swig from a bottle she swiped from the lounge, "I wanna go home."
"What, to drink some more?" Renji asked disgustedly.
"SHUT UP!" Rukia shouted, then calmly, "What do you think Hitsugaya?"
"I believe that it was Renji in the kitchen."
"Uhhh, I don't know what you are talking about," Renji said nervously.
"Well, it's quite simple. You took it. Listen, I even have your motive. You were hungry so you mistook Kurosaki's sword for a steak knife, which is simple to do. Then you tried to cover up what you did."
"You can't prove that!"
"I don't have to; I just have to figure out who did it. I win the game."
"Congrats now can we go home?" Rukia asked.
"How did you know?" Reji asked Toshiro.
"Honestly, Renji, it wasn't that hard. I've worked with you before."
"Fine, I'll show you where your soul reaper is Ichigo."
And that is that. Like I said cold meds. Hope you enjoy. It's different from my last, sadder stories.
