Elphaba misheard. There was no way. It was impossible, unthinkable!
"You can't be serious?"
"It's just a kiss," Glinda said.
"You have a boyfriend."
"Oh, Elphaba, you're so far behind the times," Glinda sighed, on the other side of their bedroom, and then explained like one would to a child, "It excites men to see two girls kissing!"
"There are plenty of girls you could kiss. Why me?"
"How should I know? I didn't ask. He probably thought it was easiest. I mean we're roommates. We already undress in front of each other."
Glinda undressed in front of her. Elphaba still changed in their bathroom—alone.
"How would we even get into the boy's dormitory?"
"We'll hop the wall. There's no one patrolling the west side after midnight."
"And you wouldn't mind it? You wouldn't mind me… kissing you?"
"It's not real. It's for Fiyero's birthday."
Elphaba imagined it. The lights off, Fiyero sitting in a chair in the corner of his room, Glinda sitting on the edge of his bed, curls pinned in a ponytail, waiting for her.
"It's not like we'll have our clothes off," Glinda said.
Suddenly she saw a nude Glinda, breasts running over her crossed arms, like in her dream two weeks ago.
"Find someone else!" Elphaba said, fleeing their bedroom.
"Oh, Elphie, please! It won't work without you!" Glinda called out, chasing her down the hallway.
Glinda was relentless, begging in nightly monologues, pleading in paper-airplane notes during class, batting her eyes at her while they were out with friends, even finding her in the library, a place Elphaba hadn't known Glinda knew existed. Elphaba finally agreed. Just to return to the way it was. That's what she told herself as they stood in front of Fiyero's door five days later.
"It'll be okay," Glinda said, reading her nerves. "I'll be with you."
Glinda meant to comfort, but she only iterated the problem. Elphaba could have kissed Fiyero. He was handsome, sometimes. On his best looking days, when he combed his hair and didn't open his mouth. And, yet, he didn't make Elphaba feel like Glinda did. Not even on Glinda's worst days. The mornings she slept in her makeup, the afternoons she insulted Dr. Dillamond, and the nights she returned after too many drinks, steeped in the scent of cigarettes and pub chicken. Elphaba would feel a quiver in her stomach, a pause in her lungs, and a tremor in her hands. Glinda would smile, unaware. Elphaba tried to ignore the feelings, tried so hard to hide them, so Glinda wouldn't be inconvenienced, bothered, or disappointed. But how in Oz would she hide anything now?
Fiyero opened the door. He was already drunk; the boys had taken him out earlier. His arm jerked back, gesturing toward his darkened room like an out-of-joint scarecrow. The smell of his room was pungent, a bitter mix of sweat and cologne. Elphaba never knew how men managed it. If their smell was a sound, it would be shrill, like the whine of a mosquito. Fiyero's particularly sour scent lingered in the nose oblongly.
His room was dark, except for an electrical bedside lamp. There were pieces of clothes here and there, but it was mostly free of clutter. His bed was made. A clean duvet on top. Thank Oz. Elphaba didn't think she could sit on a white-streaked sheet. Glinda sat on the bed, hands in her lap. Swallowing, she looked up and smiled, beckoning Elphaba with her eyes. Elphaba sat beside her. The sound of their breaths amplifying. Elphaba had always avoided looking at Glinda's lips, but now she could look nowhere else. That was her destination. That was her roommately duty. She just had to lean down, a quick press. The sooner the better. Then she could leave, lock the memory away, forget it ever happened. She leaned in. Glinda startled, her hand rising to fall atop hers. She licked her lips.
"Not yet!" Fiyero barked.
Elphaba halted, centimeters from Glinda's mouth.
"I'll direct you," he said sitting in his desk chair, across from them.
Glinda leaned back.
"Direct me? It's a kiss," Elphaba said annoyed she'd have to start over.
"What is she talking about, Glinda? I've already seen two girls kissing. You promised me something exciting!"
"Don't get upset, sweetheart! We can do anything you like! As long as Elphaba gets to keep her clothes on," Glinda said for both of them, and turned to whisper quickly, "I'll make it up to you. Just go along with it!"
Elphaba was too stunned to respond. Anything you like? What more was there to do? What more was Glinda willing to pretend?
Fiyero smiled, and suddenly his teeth looked longer, predatory, as if he might sink them into Glinda at any moment. Glinda must have sensed her panic. Her pale hand came to her cheek and guided her gaze, returning it back to herself.
"Just pretend it's us," Glinda said. "No one's here."
But someone was there. And he wasn't quiet. He ordered Elphaba's hand on Glinda's hip. Glinda's arms over Elphaba's shoulders. Elphaba's mouth on Glinda's lips.
Elphaba's lips were chapped, thin, and always pursed, but Glinda's were soft, moist, and now so giving.
"Open your mouths. Put your tongue in hers," he commanded.
Elphaba obeyed, not sure what was supposed to happen. Glinda helped. Moving her along.
"Feel her up a bit."
Feel her where? The hand on Glinda's hip now moist.
"I said 'feel her up!'" he said.
Elphaba tensed. Glinda grabbed her moist hand and slid it up under her breast. Elphaba gasped, pulling back.
"Glinda?" she asked, feeling as if she wronged the blonde. With a guided brush of her hand, she had become a sexual assailant.
"I didn't tell you to stop kissing her, Elphaba!"
"It's okay," Glinda said to her, but her blue eyes stayed on her lap.
It wasn't okay. None of this was okay.
"I said keep kissing her and feel her up!" Fiyero said.
"We don't have to stay. We could go home," Elphaba whispered.
Glinda shook her head.
"I promised him. For his birthday."
Elphaba hadn't promised anything—she wanted to say, until Glinda asked,
"It is that bad? Am I…that bad?"
Elphaba barely felt what was happening to her, but bad was not the word for the thrill that coursed through her as her tongue roamed Glinda's.
"Why are you stopping?!" Fiyero badgered. "I said kiss her and feel her up!"
Elphaba leaned in and cupped Glinda's breast again. Glinda pressed herself into Elphaba's hand. Elphaba kissed and Glinda kissed back. Fervently. Hungrily.
"Both of you lie down and Elphaba get on top of her," he ordered.
They did. Glinda kissing her from below.
"Grab her ass."
Elphaba palmed it.
"Grab it!"
Elphaba squeezed.
"Oh, Elphie," Glinda moaned.
It was just her name, but it sent shivers through Elphaba. She squeezed Glinda's backside again. Galinda undulated beneath her.
"Take off her underwear."
With a trembling hand, Elphaba reached up under Glinda's skirt. Glinda drew up her legs. Her silk drawers were damp, sticky. Elphaba pulled them down. Off the girl's ankles. Tossing them onto the floor. Glinda embraced her for another kiss. Elphaba's hand went back under Glinda's dress, sliding up over Glinda's damp mons, her smooth damp mons. Glinda shaved herself. The thought of Glinda's hands between her own legs made Elphaba quiver. She stroked the girl's slick flesh.
"Oh, yes, Elphie, yes!" Glinda expelled by her ear.
And then Elphaba felt a vice grip on her upper arm. Fiyero's hand.
"That's enough," he said, pulling her off the bed, off of Glinda, with a hard-on that tented his trousers. "You can go now."
Elphaba looked back at the bed. Glinda nodded. There was nothing else for her to do. As she walked outside of Fiyero's dorm room, Elphaba felt her a heat course through her. Would he be gentle? Gentler than he had been with Elphaba's arm? If Glinda said, "Wait. It hurts." Would he? Or worse, if Glinda said it felt good, would he continue? Continue what Elphaba never knew she'd be allowed to start. She wanted to pound on his door, pound on his head, to tell him to get his hands off of Glinda, to never look at her again.
Instead, Elphaba walked to the end of the hallway and sat on the stairs and waited.
Sooner than she anticipated but still much longer than was bearable, Fiyero's door opened. Elphaba rose to her feet to see Glinda come out and close the door quietly behind her. When the girl looked up to see Elphaba had waited, she ran. Right into her. Hugging her.
"Are you all right? Did something happen?" Elphaba asked.
Glinda shook her head. Elphaba put an arm around her waist and walked them back to the west side wall. They climbed over it, one after the other, and ran, across the quad, through their dormitory, into their bedroom. They changed into their nightgowns in front of each other. Elphaba wouldn't leave Glinda twice.
Glinda climbed into Elphaba's bed. Elphaba didn't protest. She got in behind her and let the blonde nestle into her.
"He fell asleep," Glinda said. "Right in the middle of it."
What could Elphaba say? What a jerk. What an ass! Didn't he know how lucky he was to have someone like Glinda? Who would do anything to please him.
"I know it's wrong to feel this way," Glinda continued, "but I felt relieved. I didn't want my first time to be with him."
Elphaba's heart jumped. Glinda's first time? Glinda's first time and she let her…Elphaba squeezed her eyes shut.
"I wanted my first time to be with someone who just wanted me."
That could be the whole campus. Any of them would trade their current partner for Glinda.
"Someone kind," Glinda said.
Did she already have someone in mind? Boq was kind, wasn't he?
"Someone funny."
Definitely not Boq. Avaric?
"Someone intelligent."
Not Avaric. Perhaps Glinda was describing an imaginary Prince Charming, not someone she knew?
"Elphaba, when's your birthday?"