You suppressed your snickers with a firm hand planted over your own mouth. No way were you going to screw this one up! The prank was entirely golden. You bit down on your lower lip; a habit you knew exposed your horribly bucked teeth even more, and leaned forward ever so silently. "John…" you froze but the slumbering figure before you remained asleep thus quelling your disappointment. You shifted your weight to your knees and slowly moved to grasp the black wire frames of Dave's shades between the thumb and index of your left hand.
He didn't stir, just stayed relaxed in the comfortable position leaning against the cushioned periwinkle material of the sofa in your living room with his arms crossed over his chest and his legs propped on the coffee table in front of him. The same table that was littered with soda bottles, candy wrappers, and three bags of popcorn, one barely touched but now abandoned. You hadn't paid it much attention since your absolutely favorite most amazingly awesome part in the best movie ever had rolled across your TV for the zillionth time. Oh and Dave had fallen asleep about ten minutes into his twelfth time watching Con-Air so he hadn't been there to jeer with you.
Which was why you had to get revenge with the most wickedly cool prank ever. That and the curiosity was excruciating of course. Another reason why you now were kneeling beside him on the couch and vehemently attempting to remove his shades without him waking up. You knew if he did and caught you in the act he would probably disown you as his best friend and long standing partner in ill pranks because the only idea more ludicrous than a shadless Strider was a movie starring Nic Cage that you hadn't seen more than ten times. So you were determined more than anything, obviously.
You watched in anticipation as the shades slide from his pale face to reveal his perfectly normal eyelids above the slightly freckled skin of his nose. You froze in place before suddenly jumping in silent howl of victory that shook the couch enough to arouse him. And of course at that you abruptly stopped all movements; fist that clutched the dark glasses held in the air and other hand shooting out to steady yourself on the back of the sofa. He slumped into the couch a bit more while a strand or two of his blonde hair fell into his face however besides that minor dissimilarity; he seemed fully unaroused from his deep sleep.
You prided yourself on a job well done, bro fisting the air and reaching up to quickly remove your own glasses. Of course these you actually used to see and not to obscure what you saw with as Dave did. But you were John Egbert, prank master and movie extraordinaire, and you were definitely going to try on these sick shades. You sat back on your heels still kneeling beside the oblivious blonde while you carelessly tossed your glasses somewhere on the couch in front of you. Then it hit you, another massively entertaining joke.
You quickly stuck the wire frame of the shades between your teeth because frankly you knew that if you put them down without your own glasses on that they would magically disappear under your nose without a single trace. It had happened before with your own glasses and you knew better than to foolishly trust the deviously cynical frames. Except now you had to calm yourself, quell your glee and meticulously place your glasses on his face without disturbing his unconsciousness. Something you were realizing to be quite a feat with your excitement.
However you got the job done and now you sat back and gazed in triumph at the absolutely adorable Strider in front of you. Without the intimidating shades and added a bit of dorky specs to his innocently oblivious face made him look extremely…cute. You grunted and mentally kicked yourself for thinking such a thing about your best friend, your best male friend. You were not, under any circumstances, going to decide to be homosexual. Nope. no curves for this bean pole. All straightness and right fucking angles.
But he did look reealllyyy adorab- nope! Haha look at you actually entertaining such off limits thoughts of such a blatant homosexual manner! Now here you were in a completely unnecessary gay-panic! Haha! How uncalled for! Get back to the mission at hand before you start puking rainbows and organizing your linens appropriately!
You hurriedly sat the shades on your face and marbled at how dark it made things. God! He must have some sort of night vision with how much dimmer it rendered the already darkened room. To be honest, you felt so fucking chill right now you thought about saying something highly provocative and with just the right amount of contradicting and ironic conciliatory words to confuse someone. But not yourself! Because you were now chill. Chill. Yeeahhh.
"John fucking Egderp!" you admit that yes you almost jumped out of your skin when he yelled at you like that. He was never really anything besides wholly and coolly calm so the anger- no fury- in his voice shocked you so much you quickly ripped the glasses form your face like a child caught in an especially ridiculous act. You held them tightly in your hands as you gawked at your friend.
Ok. So maybe you had expected his eyes to be some entirely embarrassing shade of brown a disappointingly dull gray but this… this was something all together something different. Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped open slightly while he quickly ripped your glasses from his face and chucked them aside in his antagonism. Wait a second? Was he…humiliated? Your eyes scanned the red blush that was quickly spreading across his cheeks but this spectacle was too interesting to avert your eyes from just yet.
You flicked your gaze back to his crimson irises. Just saying that made you shudder but it was true! They were literally the most cherry shade of red to be ever displayed and by his eyes no less. You supposed it was rather fitting for Dave Strider just as your oceanic blue ones supported your image. Yet you weren't the one hiding your exceedingly alluring gaze behind those black Ben Stiller shades like the extraordinary color was something to be highly ashamed of; which it wasn't. Yet that didn't keep him from pouncing on you like a rage filled Strider who just had their little clandestine uncovered.
"Dav- ahh!" you yelled as his accurately leapt to pin you to the couch. Once you tumbled backwards and once he had straddled your hips you yelled at him to get off you, that you didn't care and that you wouldn't tell anyone but he was majorly pissed. You pushed against his torso and squirmed under his weight but he wasn't about to leave you be. Not even kicking your legs like some kind of animal being brutally pinned by its ferocious and blood thirty predator helped. Oh what were you saying; you were a animal being brutally pinned by a ferocious and blood thirty predator.
"John?" he asked inches from your ear and you swallowed the lump in your throat at the newly installed calm placed in is voice. "I..uh..yes?" you replied with the begins of fright saturating your shaking voice as you tried desperately to push him off you. But he had an iron grip on your wrists that were pinned above you and all his weight atop you so after a moment you decided it wise to stop struggling, least your futile attempts only anger him further.
"I am going to kill you Egderp." He hissed in your ear, lips actually pressed against your sullied listening apparatus which you did not shiver at! Because you weren't homosexual nor attracted to your best bro even though he was about to make a muddled mess of Egbert Pie out of you. Which you supposed you should panic about sense he actually seemed…serious.
"D-dave, really I won-aah!" you broke off in a yelp as his tightened his grip around your wrist enough to make you break your hold on his shades that somehow remained clutched in your grasp during the extended struggle. He released your opposite wrist to pluck them roughly from your highly weakened seize. It was then, when you had a relatively free arm, that you made your move. Your comeback, that critical turning point in the climax of all movies you'd seen where the victim tastes his second chance at success.
You wrapped the newly freed arm around his waist and used his shifted weight to push the two off you from the couch. So maybe you hadn't exactly been trying to do just exactly that; tumbling from the plushy security of the sofa however the effect was just as disarming. You both fell, you now on top and he the cushion to break your eminent fall. You landed with a satisfying thump that was accompanied with the audible whoosh of the air being knocked from the lungs of the crimsoned eyed blonde under you.
To be truthful he didn't make that great of an airbag. Or pillow, you thought as your head rolled to the side on his chest. Or polite gentlemen, you remembered as his moan of pain turned into a growl of anger. "Get off me John!" he had began to snarl when you slowly sat up on his hips hands splayed out on his chest as you stared back curiously at his red eyes that glared up at you through narrowed slits. Hiding your blush and mumbling an apology you swiftly plucked the shades from his hand. You made sure the digits of your hand were secured around the glasses this time too. Before you pushed off his chest and made a break for the stairs, that is.
"JOHN!" Dave screamed as you leapt over his limp form and skidded on the floor. It wasn't your fault you were the clumsiest thirteen year old alive nor that your bare feet weren't the best for the carpet; you winced as you almost tripped and did another face plant right there. But you didn't! Because you were now in possession of the Strider Shades once again and even clutched in your palm they increased your cool by 40%.
It was when your foot hit the first stair that you heard the owner of your captive prisoner behind you. Well your house had stairs! You didn't really know if Dave's apartment had stairs but you knew the building itself did but you were positive he probably took the elevator; it seemed the more practical alternative. But you realized how stupid you sounded and you doubt your expertise in stairs gave you that much of an advantage. In fact you thought you just felt him swipe at your shirt but hell you were already halfway up the stairwell and too busy to be disturbed by paranoid induced chase passe- ahh!
You grunted when you chin hit the second from the top step and you literally face planted on the fucking stairs. When you hit your head you swore you saw little orange Davesprites swimming in your blurred vision. Maybe you should of grabbed your own glasses first before going on a mad death chase through your house seeing how you had been so blind you couldn't even judge the steps.
"You're joking. Oh all people you would actually be the first to perish in some hypocrites low-grade shittyass 'horror' movie they air at ungodly hours of the midnight on Lifeti-" you squirmed around till you were on your back and kicked him in the gut hard enough to send him flailing for the hand rail to your right. Or course you didn't have your glasses and honestly you had been aiming just a tad lower. So all in all you figured he was pretty lucky. You on the other hand…
"Your eyes aren't that big of a deal, Dave!" you yelled as you quickly collected yourself from the stairs and scrambled for the closest door on the second floor; your room, conveniently. It took you seconds to barreling into the room and at blazing speeds then backpedal so fast you almost tripped again to slam the door closed. Safe at last! Then your cobalt eyes combed your room as you franticly searched for somewhere to hide his glasses. Your breathing labored and heart pounding you swiftly turned to chuck them in your open closet like they were some sick fire that desperately needed to be extinguished.
"Jooohhhnnn?" you heard him chuckling on the other side of your door right before the knob turned and he stuck his head in. "Your bedroom door doesn't have a fucking lock, dumbass." Well…shit. He smirked at you while he slowly entered the room and slammed the door behind him hard enough to rattle the pictures on your walls. You on the other hand just backed up with your hands up in the defensive position. He shook his head and lunged for you, a skilled attempt you honestly didn't know how you dodged. You God's sake he had had Bro to spare with so you should have been no big deal.
"Where are they?" he commanded turning back around to shove you in the torso with enough force to make you lose your already crappy balance. No strike that, non existent balance. The springs of your bed creaked in protest as you tumbled back onto the disheveled sheets with a yelp. "Where are what, Dave?" you said shakily while his extremely piercing and furiously flaming crimson glare pinned you there. Not that he was scary usually but with this new blaze you felt rather…threatened. A sensation that did just the opposite of vanish when he unexpectedly rushed forwards and jumped on top of you.
"I will kick your pathetic ass back to LOWAS if you don't give me my shades, John." He snarled now in the same position you had been after you both fell off the couch. 'Fell' seeming the proper word anyway. He dug his nails into your chest while leaning forward intimidatingly slow till he was inches from your face. In other words, even without your glasses you could now see 100% clearly of all things Strider eyes.
You chose to ignore his threat and catch ill to a sad case of diarrhea of the oral cavity. "Are Bro's eyes red too?" you questioned suddenly and innocently. He looked clearly taken by surprise and furrowed his brow before answering. "What? No! And that isn't your business anyway!" you decided that if wouldn't hurt to keep going. You reasoned that he was just about as angry as he could get so why not? "So what color are they?" you asked and bit your bottom lip again at the sight of his new transition to confusion. You could blatantly read what he was thinking; it was clearly written on his perplexed face. 'why do I want to tell you these things so badly?'
"Orange…they're kind of…tangerine." He replied breathlessly and shook his head a bit to relieve the astonishment. You could tell he couldn't believe he had just betrayed him like that and yet he seemed to be coming back to his senses. Returning to his anger and gripping your shirt more tightly. You licked your lips and took a breath to ask another question before he 'killed' you like he said he would. "So then are Dirk's eyes or-" he interrupted you again and you then realized he had lost his patience. "Shut up, Egderp." He finally snapped and you fell silent. Not that it was weird or awkward or anything to have your best bro sitting on you in your bed after he'd just chased you through your house on a murder high and then for some unexplainable reason you had felt compelled the question him excessively on sensitive matters. You still weren't sure why you'd done that. It seemed to only make him angrier.
"Um, I'm sorry Dave… your glasses are in the closet." You trailed off into a silence that stretched for a while as you averted your eyes. Now you just felt guilty for this and shameful for making him flip his shit and lose his seemingly impenetrable cool. So now he was staring at you; still straddling your hips, still digging his nails into your chest, and still without his glasses. "Dave? Could you get off me?" you asked cautiously and watched him slowly focus his vermillion eyes back on you. He didn't exactly look irrevocably pissed anymore but he did seem really…calm. Like smoother than chill.
It scared the living shit out of you.
What if he had some weird ass PTS or was suffering from trauma to the head o-or internal bleeding from when you pushed him off the couch? "right." He sighed and hastily moved his weight off you to instead sit beside you. Ok well he was in control of his motor skills as well as lingual so maybe it was just you who was freaking out at this idiosyncratic behavior. You propped yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at him since you were already having to squint a tad bit to properly view him.
"Uh, are you ok?" you asked as tentatively as possible while slowly moved a hand forward to nudge his skinny jean clad knee. He seemed unaffected by your attempts. With your rising concern you quickly sat up and scooted so that you were leaning back against the headboard like he was. "You realize that you're probably the only other person excluding Bro who knows about it?" he asked angling his head towards you and raising his eyebrows in astonishment. You weren't exactly sure how to respond seeing how you didn't comprehend why it was such a big deal. But you were trying to understand how this unveiling might have upset him so.
"They're so cool though," you replied with a hand gesture to the eyes in current question. The very corner of his lip upturned in a slight smile that made you add. "I really don't get why you're so ashamed." You averted your eyes, not realizing till after you'd said it that it could sound insulting especially when he was so damn touchy with this exaggerated detail. You still didn't fully grasp why he did too.
"I just am, ok?" he snapped and defensively balled his fist up. It wasn't like he was going to hit you anything; he just needed to feel the pain of his nails digging into his palms. It was like a tiny reminder that this was actually happening and that maybe now would be a good idea to get on with things. And that was just it wasn't it? Get on with things, Strider.
You were about to open your mouth to press further but he stopped you abruptly with his own. You gave a small yelp of surprise when he griped your forearm and turned his head for a much more pleasing angle. Not that…this pleased you. You were not homosexual nor did you intend to convert now! But…but…
You kissed back; an unplanned action which caused you to give a strained moan. What the hell was wrong with you? No the better question was what the hell was wrong with Dave? He was to chill to make out with his bro just as you were too straight to comply. And yet here you were moving your hands up to cup his face while he fervently kissed you. You even took yourself by surprise when your body instinctively began slowly crawling to kneel in front of him. Except you couldn't downplay what you really had done because no matter how you wanted to word it you had to admit it. That your non-homosexual ass had kissed him back and that you were enjoying it too. Hell more than enjoying, not that you confess to that.
You made a small noise when his arms pulled up down to him so that you were leaning against his chest all the while his arms wrapped around your waist. You blushed at the intimate placement of your bodies when he shifted you up again and no, no your hands hadn't just gripped the headboard in delight. Why would you do that? You weren't homosexual; just making out with your best friend…no big deal, right?
But it was a big deal, you realized when he rhythmically moved his warm hands up under your white Ghostbusters T-shirt and the half gasp half moan of enjoyment that you breathed actually made him shiver. Not that you really noticed seeing how you were rather busy tangling his blonde hair in your quivering fingers. You both made for a gasping lung full of air when you momentarily broke apart before resuming the kissing that was beginning to become dangerously heated.
You heart was pounding and only speeded up to an exceedingly sparked rate when his tongue slide past yours again. But that time had been different, he was more resolute. More thrilled by the feel of you, you reasoned, since he seemed to be unable of getting enough of you as you leaned your head back. Exposing your neck for his taking was admittedly a rather horrid idea seeing how the hickies he left would be all too visible the following day. You had foolishly trusted he would only embellish your collarbone with the nips and kisses that quickly had you biting your bottom lip in pleasure. You only prayed no one would notice.
"D-dave?" you cautiously asked, your bitten nails digging into his back when he harshly shifted your weight so that he could move his legs around you. Or more along the lines that he was only placing himself in a spot where you would have to straddle his lap like you were currently having difficulties resisting. And that's precisely what you did not unto his bewilderment but more like his blatant satisfaction.
"hhhm?" he answered in question to your hopelessly stuttered inquiry. You were going to remind him that you were not, under any pressuring, going to be homosexual but you never got the chance. His lips had found yours again and showed no signs of letting up or ceasing their mind numbing movements. And apparently he had also allowed his mind to entertain another idea as well.
You gave an audible gasp he countered with a snicker when his slide his hands down to your hips and proceeded to message his own into yours. In fact, he did it again just to hear you compose that one gratifying note of bliss. Either that or he knew you would want more and merely take that outstandingly delightful matter into your own hands. You did, of course, not realizing he had essentially teased you on purpose.
You blamed him for how you leisurely began working your hips against his in a way that back fired for him. In other words, your relaxed pace drove him enormously crazy. He groaned with a small growl low in his throat before broke away from your kissing. "John. What the hell." He said while giving you an incredulous look that made you abruptly stop grinding on him but blush so scarlet red that your best bro was chuckling with the new entertainment.
"I,uh…well you, um, started it…" you replied obliviously embarrassed averting your eyes and awkwardly shifting your weight. "That's not what I meant." He stated seductively before pushing you from his lap and pinning you to the bed. The springs protested at the soft thump you made falling back onto the disorderly sheets. You squirmed under him at first, presuming he meant this threateningly like the earlier chase. However you soon realized what manner in which he did in fact mean it and what 'it' was. You found the thought extraordinarily thrilling as much as you did remarkably pleasurable. ..