:: Shattered ::

Sequel to Hold Me

by D-chan

Megami Kouhosei

Rating: PG-13

Pairings: Yamagi+Roose/Roose+Yamagi

Warnings: possible OOC, shounen ai, language

Disclaimer: Still don't own Megami Kouhosei or the characters. Nothing's changed.

Notes: ^^; Another Yamagi+Roose fic... I must be boring you people.

I don't know much about manga!Hiead (can anyone tell me why we put the "!" between stuff like that?) except what I've read about on Dual Potential, but I think he acts more like he would in the manga than he would the anime here. Y'know, extremely sadistic?

But this time I think the OOC label is seriously needed for Hiead's sake... You'll understand soon, I hope.

I really need to find a way to get my hands on the manga... My mother won't let me order things online. _ Grr... Can anyone else point out another solution for me? ^^;

He was going it again. He'd been doing it for the past two and a half weeks and it was really grating on his nerves.

Yamagi Kushida frowned and forced his eyes back to the screen. He could still feel those cold, dark, vaguely amused eyes drilling a hole through his head. But why? He'd never done anything to him. Hiead's staring at him was really making him nervous, though he fought not to let it show.

"... To send out a distress signal, in the case of being stranded..."

Out of the corner of his eye, Yamagi noticed the boy beside him looking worried. The boy, the sweet, innocent, naive, cute, weird boy, was Roose Sawamura. A little more than a few centimeters taller than Yamagi, he was a skinny boy that had once been quite chubby. Losing so much weight (and in so little time) hadn't changed him a bit. Since Yamagi had met him he had been very kind and polite, if not somewhat of a wimp. He'd used to think the boy was too whiny and clingy, but oddly enough he'd grown to become eager to hear his voice and enjoy his insecurity, especially when it made him touch him.

Oh, but there was only one small, tiny little thing that Yamagi resented about Roose: he was straight.

For nearly a month Yamagi had been feeling the strangest things towards Roose. When he used to kick the boy for pestering him, now he patiently put up with it, even if he was a bit gruff more often than not. Where before he hadn't cared much for Wrecka he now found himself getting jealous every time she got close to Roose; closer than he knew he would ever get. He didn't hate her he just envied her passionately.

Once again he felt that prickling sensation that told him he was being stared at. He twisted in his seat to find Hiead watching him again, an amused smirk playing on his lips. Yamagi glared at him; he'd hated Hiead since the day he had attacked Roose and broken three of his ribs during a training session. Yes, he despised the boy now.

Turning his attention back to the movie and his notes, Yamagi concentrated on the class for the rest of the day. Only when they were dismissed did he bother to give a thought to anything else.

"Yama-san..."

He yelped and spun around, coming face-to-face (or more like face-to-torso) with his partner and repairer, Tsukasa Kuscha. She was smiling at him again; he hated that smile.

"What?" he demanded. "Stop creeping up on me like that!"

"Did you pay attention in class, Yama-san?" Tsukasa asked mysteriously.

"My name is not Yama," he retorted rather than answer her question.

Tsukasa paused and smiled at him again, raising her arms in the all-too-familiar gesture of her wanting to hug him. Yamagi paled and scrambled back, accidentally bumping into someone. They both fell to the ground, the person below him crying out in pain. He looked down and was surprised to see Roose.

"Damn!" he swore, standing up. "Sorry," he muttered, eyes raking the boy's chest. "You okay, Roose?" Roose blinked, surprised. Realizing what he'd said, Yamagi closed his eyes and muttered, "I'm going to kill that onna someday..."

"Roose! Are you all right?" Wrecka asked, pulling the boy to his feet.

"H-hai... I'm fine..." Roose still had his gaze fastened on Yamagi, that innocently curious look plastered to his face.

"..." Yamagi shook his head and quickly backed out of the room. Great. Not only had he slipped enough for Roose to notice, he damn near broke the boy's ribs all over again. He'd have to take his anger out on himself running laps, otherwise it would eat at him for weeks, he knew.

He glanced inside a classroom to check the time. All right, he had two hours before anyone would miss him during dinner. He could start now.

Picking up his pace to a slow jog, Yamagi wound his way around the hallways until he reached the bridge above the student body. Then he picked up the pace, running until he could hear his shoes pounding on the floors loudly and his breathing quicken and become shorter and more constricted as his lungs tried to gulp in more air.

'I could have hurt him...' Growling, Yamagi forced his legs to move even faster. A very faint burning sensation was beginning to creep up his calves, indicating that he wasn't circulating enough air through his body. But that was a good thing, he told himself, it meant he was working hard.

He was so focused on running that he didn't hear the feet behind him imitating his pattern. He didn't notice anything around him until he was jostled roughly into a wall.

The impact knocked whatever breath he had out of him; forcing him to lean against the wall and try to catch his breath. Before he could get enough air to say, "What the hell?!" he found himself looking up into a pair of cold, cold red eyes.

"Hiead?" he said in disbelief. "What the hell?"

Hiead smiled strangely before he leaned in close and said softly, "I know your secret."

Yamagi froze, narrowing his eyes. "What?"

"You think only Zero knows. I know."

Yamagi rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah, you know. Great, what are you going to do with this bit of information, Hiead? I'm not your rival." When Hiead said nothing, Yamagi growled in annoyance and tried to duck beneath his arm. Hiead grasped him by the front of his uniform and threw him back again the wall. "Get off me, you jerk!" Yamagi snapped.

"If I hurt you, I hurt Zero," Hiead said softly. "And that's all I want." Smirking, he released the smaller boy and strode off, ignoring Yamagi's hot glare.

"Bastard," he muttered. He'd definitely had enough running for now.

He found the room he and Roose shared to be empty. That meant dinner was still a while away, so he had time to take a much-wanted shower. Yes, he could definitely use a shower after all that, and he wasn't just thinking about the laps he'd run. He wanted to wash Hiead's touch off; it made him feel sick.

* * *

"There you are, Yamagi-kun!"

The cheerful voice made Yamagi start as he stepped back into the room, clothed only in a pair of shorts and drying his hair with a towel.

"Roose..."

Roose smiled sweetly, swinging his feet as he watched Yamagi from his bed. "I've been waiting for you."

"Why?" he asked, his voice masking his curiosity, his happiness that Roose wanted to wait for him.

"Dinner, of course."

Yamagi ran a hand through his hair, trying to flatten it back before he gazed at his roommate, expression blank but mind churning. 'Weird, weird, sweet boy...' Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he reached for a clean change of clothes.

Roose took his shaking as a no, he didn't want to go, and frowned. "... You don't want to go with me, Yamagi-kun?"

He shot him an exasperated look. "Did I say that?"

"Well... No..."

Yamagi couldn't help but smile; he turned away so Roose wouldn't see. He might scare his roommate.

"Ne, Yamagi-kun?" Roose asked as they wandered down the hall in silence.

"Hm?" He kept his eyes fixed on the wall as though it fascinated him, though what could be fascinating about a wall he didn't know.

"What are you thinking about?"

Panic. Yamagi quickly tried to think of something to say other than the fact he was thinking about Roose; somehow he knew it would not come out right. "Why our instructor always seems to focus on Zero," he said flatly. It was true. He hated the way Zero got so much attention. Sure, there was no doubt he was the best pilot (though Yamagi really did try hard to be better) but that didn't mean he had to neglect the rest of his students in the small ways he did.

Roose smiled. "I don't mind, really."

Yamagi turned to him, raising an eyebrow and managing to look annoyed while he watched him. "Why not? I hate it. The time he spends evaluating Zero's abilities could be spent trying to help the rest of us become better pilots."

The other boy nodded slowly in agreement. "Perhaps..."

To Yamagi's relief, they walked the rest of the way in silence. Not only did it save him from having to speak, it gave him time to actually think about what he'd just said.

His relief wasn't to last, though. No sooner than he and Roose had taken their normal seats at the table did Hiead actually decide to show up. He took a place right in front of Zero, which, unfortunately, was right next to Yamagi. Perfect. He tried not to show his panic to anyone else; it would be just like Hiead to let something "accidentally" slip about his crush on Roose.

"Roose! There you are!" Wrecka came running up to their table and laid a hand on Roose's arm, the one attached to the hand holding his spoon. "You know you're supposed to let me monitor your food intake," she scolded.

"G-Gomen, Wrecka-chan," Roose stammered, looking embarrassed.

"What, his boyfriend isn't smart enough to do that for him?"

Everyone in the room seemed to freeze. Everyone at the table fastened their eyes on the ever-calm Hiead, shocked. Wrecka looked angry, though. "What did you just say?" she demanded.

He raised a pale eyebrow. "So your partner isn't gay?"

"Nani?!"

Yamagi felt sick. 'Ohshitohshitohshitohshit...'

Roose had turned a fascinating color of pale red and dark pink. "I... I never... I..."

Hiead turned to Yamagi then, smiling cruelly. "Too bad for you," was all he said before he stood, taking his tray and walking away.

The attention shifted from Hiead's retreating figure to Yamagi's very, very pale face. He couldn't seem to make his mouth work and all he could notice was Roose staring at him with the most shocked expression; large green eyes very, very wide and his mouth slightly open.

"That bastard," said Zero loudly, so suddenly it startled everyone, "Trying to pull a stunt like that. I'd thought it was below him, ne, Yamagi?" He smiled at him, trying to tell him to play along. But Yamagi really couldn't summon the strength to do so. It was as if all his barriers surrounding his precious secret had crumbled against Hiead's smirk and cold words.

"No," he said quietly. "I don't think it was below him."

Zero looked confused. Clay looked very intrigued. "Huh?"

"Yamagi-kun?" Roose's voice made him look back at him. Little of his surprise had worn off. "Is... Is..."

"Is it true?" demanded Wrecka, glaring daggers at Yamagi. "Do you love Roose?"

He was sick of this. Trying to keep it a secret from everyone, keeping all his feelings surrounding the secret locked away was hurting him emotionally and mentally. Fixing a determined gaze on Wrecka, he stated flatly, "Hai."

"Yamagi!" Zero protested.

"How long?" He wasn't sure if Wrecka or Roose asked that.

"A month."

Wrecka looked ready to kill him while Roose simply looked so pale Yamagi was sure he'd faint. If he did so while Wrecka was tearing his throat out, no one would be there to catch him and he might get hurt again. All this flashed through his mind before Roose's partner did the weirdest yet most obvious thing; she lunged at Yamagi.

Realization of what was happening hit him the same time she did, knocking him onto the floor. Though he was smaller, Yamagi was definitely stronger. With a hard push he shoved her off and scrambled to his feet, deciding the cowardly thing to do would definitely save his life at that moment; he fled the mess hall.

Though he knew she wasn't following him Yamagi was running faster than he'd ever run before. He admitted that Wrecka terrified him when she got protective over Roose, so he couldn't honestly say he was ashamed of what he was doing. After all, he was saving his own life and possibly preventing more injury to Roose by getting out of there. If he didn't faint, he might have tried to interfere and with Wrecka as angry as she was, he had no doubts some arm would have come to him.

It was funny how he was still thinking of Roose even as he was trying to save himself.

* * *

"What the hell was that for?!" Silence; Hiead must be responding. "You're fucked up, Hiead, really fucked up!"

Yamagi stared blankly at the ceiling as he listened to Zero's side of the argument in the room across the hall. Once or twice he thought he heard Clay pleading for them to stop, but other than that he only heard Zero.

About fifteen minutes after Yamagi had disappeared into his (after this he was hesitant to say that he and Roose would be sharing the same room much longer if Wrecka had her way) room he'd heard the sound of two people running and Zero exploding at Hiead the instant their door opened. In a way, Yamagi was grateful to him for sticking up for him, but another part of him thought that he shouldn't bother. Zero was right about one thing: Hiead was really fucked up.

A self-mocking smile twisted his lips. 'Roose's probably terrified of you. If only he knew what kind of things I thought about him for the past four weeks.' Wrecka more than likely had a good guess; she had attacked him, hadn't she? That had probably been the first thing that had popped into her mind. He wouldn't doubt it.

"You have no reason to hurt Yamagi like that! What the hell is your problem?"

Finally Hiead had a response Yamagi could hear. He was screaming at Zero. "Because I hate you, Zero Enna! I'll hurt anyone and everyone around you just to see you suffer! You disgust me!" Then there was a loud thump and some more shouting; they had started fighting.

'You are one disturbed son of a bitch,' Yamagi directed the thought towards Hiead, knowing full well the other boy wouldn't be able to hear or even sense his thought.

After a while things finally quieted down, though he couldn't exactly feel very grateful for the sudden calm. It made him think, and he didn't want to think. Thinking kept leading to that evening's incident.

Damn it. He was miserable, furious and felt very, very sick. He clutched his pillow in his hands, fingers digging into it as he remembered the events again.

Someone knocked softly on the door. "Go away!" he shouted hoarsely. Great. He was near tears. He wiped them away with the back of his hand, hurting his sensitive eyelids as he did so.

"... Gomen nasai, Yamagi-kun..." a small, muffled voice said.

He froze. "Roose..." Jerkily, as though he hadn't stood in days, he got to his feet and scrambled to the door. Pressing the button furiously, the door opened and he spun into the hallway in time to see Roose walking away. "Roose!" The skinny boy stopped and looked back, surprised. Yamagi stared at him for a long moment before he attempted to gather himself again. "What is it?" he finally asked.

Roose smiled gently, a smile that nearly stopped in heart in the state he was in. "I... I just wanted to see if you were all right, Yamagi-kun," he said quietly. "Demo... I'll leave you alone, I understand..."

Shaking his head, Yamagi muttered, "Why did you really come here?"

Roose blushed. "Anno... Just to see if you were all right. Really."

He felt much more like his old self again, the self he'd had before Hiead had ruined it all. "You're a bad liar," he accused. "Really bad. Did Zero make you come?"

"No..." Roose glanced around nervously. "Demo if Wrecka-chan finds out I'm here I'll be in even bigger trouble than you..."

Really. Yamagi blinked then sighed, folding his arms over his chest. "So are you going to stand in the hallway like an idiot until that onna walks by or come in?"

The other boy looked pleased by the indirect invitation and happily followed him back into their room. Maybe it would be safe to call it their room, at least for now, Yamagi thought.

As it usually did, the room filled with silence after Roose walked in. This time it wasn't the comfortable silence between roommates, it was actually highly uncomfortable and was making Yamagi nervous. He tried to cover this up by appearing to relax against the wall and focus his attention freely on Roose. Now that practically everyone knew, at least he wouldn't feel as guilty doing such a thing now.

Roose was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring down at his black shoes with the GOA insignia on them. He wasn't even attempting to hide his discomfort, which only made Yamagi feel worse. "Yamagi-kun..."

"Nani?"

"You... Were you really... Serious?"

Oh, yes, he could see where this was going. Already he felt sick all over again. "I don't lie," he bit, perhaps a little too harshly.

Roose winced. "I know... Gomen."

Yamagi blinked. He knew?

"Anno..." Roose seemed to be keeping his hands busy by toying with his fingers. "G-Gomen for... For Wrecka-chan attacking you like that... I... I couldn't stop her--"

"I didn't expect you to," he said flatly. "You looked terrified."

Roose's nervous state broke momentarily and he looked up. "Did I? I... I was just really surprised..."

"And disgusted?" he filled in bitterly as silence fell between them again.

"N-no!" The outburst took him aback; he knew it showed on his face. Roose had begun to blush again before he said in a tiny whisper, "I don't feel that way that at all, Yamagi-kun..."

Oh, God...

"A-Anno... If you... Still..."

Yamagi said nothing, he felt he didn't need to. He simply forced himself to walk over and sit beside the boy. His expression was blank as his hand touched the boy's shoulder. That touch was all Roose needed to wrap his arms around the shorter boy's waist and curl up beside him. Even if he wanted to, Yamagi couldn't say anything now. His throat felt constricted. He simply contented himself to stroking Roose's dark green hair.

"Arigotou, Yamagi-kun..."

He closed his eyes briefly. "Don't worry about it."

"Demo--"

"Shut up, Roose, you're ruining the moment."

The innocent boy smiled. "Gomen, Yamagi-kun..."

Yes, some silence was definitely most uncomfortable. But if odd and uncomfortable moments could lead to situations like this, Yamagi didn't mind the discomfort at all. He smirked.

'Thanks a lot, Hiead. Never thought I'd be thanking a bastard like you, but I guess there's a first time for everything.'

:: Owari ::