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Kazooie grumbled as Banjo folded up the hot air balloon, had it not malfunctioned during flight an hour ago they would be at the Smurf Village by now. Of course, the honey bear was too lazy to check the fuel tank before they left, and now Kazooie was beginning to regret on convincing him about going on an adventure. She sat there in the blue backpack she resides in for 13 years as Banjo finished up.

"I think I dropped the map awhile we were landing." he said.

You should had let me held it, Banjo. Kazooie thought.

"Kazooie?" asked Banjo, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," lied Kazooie, "We're not that far from the Smurf Village now, it's only just a couple kilometers."

"It sounded really far off though, too far to walk."

"You walked a gazillion meters last month!"

"Yeah, but that was because I was chasing you."

Kazooie chuckled, Banjo chased her around the house for stealing his gameboy. She sat up in a tree as the honey bear used it to hold himself up, panting loudly. Too exhausted to climb up the tree, Banjo got out an ax and went Paul Bunion on the base of the tree. When the old was beginning to topple over, Kazooie took to the skies before the tree hammered Banjo into the ground. She was surprised he still remembered that day since he had been in a stupor till nightfall.

"If you would just let me share the Tetris game," said Kazooie, "That oak tree would be still standing."

"How would you play a Gameboy without imposable thumbs?"

Oh crap. Kazooie thought.

Banjo left the hot air balloon, carrying Kazooie with him. As the two made their way through the forest, they continued to bicker to each other about the necessities. Did you remember to bring the canteen? Had you left a note before we've left? Did you remember to bring the toilet paper? With all of those questioned said and answered, they went on arguing which way they should go. Kazooie, whose impatience was built up since morning, did most of the talking. She could clearly tell that Banjo had deaf ears, a strong habit of his every time a raised voice was heard.

No matter, even though they "lost" the map, Kazooie can tell they were going the right way. The pictures she managed to download from the internet told her that they were indeed in the right forest. In the pictures, the leaves and grass had a thick green to them, along with a lot of colorful flowers, butterflies, and birds. There was a problem though, the pictures were taken during late spring, it was now late autumn. Already the air began to feel cold enough so it could freeze, Kazooie doesn't mind since she was snuggled in that old blue backpack. The combination of her and Banjo's body heat kept her warm.

After a few minutes had passed, Banjo and Kazooie stopped arguing and went silent. Kazooie sat in her backpack with her head poking out, looking out behind Banjo as he continued on through the forest. She looked out to the trees and saw how vague they were, most trees had already lost all of their leaves. Those who kept their leaves were those pine trees, they looked quite healthy in this region of Europe. Even though the forest was in a coma, it was a sight enjoyable enough to see.

There wasn't much Kazooie could do but keep a lookout awhile paying attention to Banjo's footsteps. She was well in tuned with his footfalls and movements, she could tell if Banjo was drifting left or right and when something got his attention. Even when buried in the backpack, she kept close attention to his movements, not fazing out when in that tight position inside the backpack for awhile.

She was getting bored, Kazooie had hoped too much when going on this trip, it was longest she had ever been in. Being in that hot air balloon was one thing, since she could see the landscape for miles below. But on the ground and walking, there wasn't much to see. At times, Kazooie would vent her frustration at Banjo a little bit, complaining on how long he was taking from accomplishing complex tasks. She thought about complaining to Banjo right now, but her head was pulled out of the gutter when Banjo stopped walking.

"What do you know," she heard him say, "A honey bee nest."

Kazooie looked up and saw what Banjo saw: a honey bee nest wedged inside of a hole of a tall tree. She groaned, she had experience when Banjo tries to salvage honey from honey bees. Sometimes he succeed, other times he was chased by the hive for disturbing their nest. Kazooie had been stung on one occasion, since she wasn't a mammal, the bee went on to sting her 5 more times before she killed it with her beak. She went on a rant at Banjo after that.

But those days were in the summer, where its hot. Late autumn proved too cold for the bees, so they shouldn't be so stingy at this time of year. Besides the reassurance, Kazooie didn't care about the bee hive at the moment. "Oh come on Banjo," she complained, "It's too soon to be having a break at the moment."

"Suit yourself," said Banjo, "More honey for me then."

Banjo began to climb the tree as Kazooie grumbled under her breath about his actions, I hope he falls flat on his face, she thought, And the tree along with him.

It only took a couple of minutes for Banjo to reach the top, Kazooie began to think of an escape route just in case the situation gets hairy, which always does. Though she had to admit that she at times started a lot of situations by fault, leaving poor Banjo to take the full blunt of the mess as it unfolds. She hoped this time that he started it, not her.

When he reached the top of the tree, Kazooie waited for the moment of truth. "I see something," said Banjo, "I think it's-"

He was cut short when a boxing glove came charging out of the bee hive, hitting him square in the nose. Kazooie felt herself being ripped out of the backpack by sheer force as the world twirls into a spiral, upon hitting the ground she hit her head on something hard and the spinning world became a black void.

. . .

She had no idea how long it had been when she blacked out, but when she woke up she felt someone or something dragging her. Was it Banjo, her dear old time friend? No, it doesn't smell like him, nor does it sound like him. A mixture of anger and fear overcome her, but Kazooie was too dazed to do anything. She slipped in and out of consciousness as whoever was dragging her took her to wherever they're going. Kazooie managed to regain full consciousness, realizing that she was no longer in that old blue backpack.

"Okay guys," said a voice, "Do your best not to piss her off."

Kazooie opened her eyes and saw what appears to be a a group of smurfs, but something wasn't right. She came to see the smurfs in their village, in that beautiful mushroom house Smurf Village. Smurfs usually wear white pants and hat, but all she saw was camouflaged clothing. She recalled that the smurfs skin were sky blue, but instead the smurfs she was seeing had skin the color of grass. She expected them to be bald, with the exception of the elder smurfs, but they all had thick heads of brown hair. And instead of being pear-shaped, they were lean, a little muscular or fat depending on the gender. Kazooie was in the wrong smurf society, and the thought made her feel helpless.

When she managed to get onto her feet, Kazooie saw a cuff around her leg, tied by blue rope to a thick old growth tree. Kazooie thought she was a prisoner, and that made her boil. "What the crap!" she cursed.

"Okay," said one of the green smurfs, "She's definitely pissed off."

Looking around, she realized she was not inside the Smurf Village clearing, but underneath tall cylinder-like trees that were creepy to the core. Instead of grass, the ground was just ordinary dirt, the dirt felt like it had been pound in by some hard force. The air, smelled more like feces and rotten eggs than flowers and berries she had imagined. Had her confidence deceived her? Hell yeah.

"The birdy is angry!" cried one of the green smurfettes.

Kazooie saw a green smurfette, instead of having a more human body definition she had a pear-shaped body. Looking at the other smurfettes told her that they all had pear-shaped bodies. What was this, some kind of backwards smurf society? Had Kazooie wanted to meet the smurfs, she should be more specific on what kind of smurf she wanted to see. Realizing these were not the smurfs she imagined made her think that she lied to Banjo, and she felt self-pity from that. However, being trapped made her mad to the point where it override that self-pity.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"Oh good," said a green smurf, "You can talk, you're in the Green Smurf Colony: Home to a thousand green smurfs and 10 green smurf villages. All decedents from the elder smurfs, our fellow blue buddies we all know and love."

Thoughts of lying to Banjo went out the window immediately, "Wait," said Kazooie, "Do you know where the Smurf Village is then?"

"It's simply 10 kilometers west of here," said another green smurf, "But don't go there, we're already in enough trouble for bringing you hear already."

The green smurfs were 7 and a half centimeters tall, Kazooie was much more taller and larger than them. She could easily knock most of them down, then go fly away and never see this place again. Kazooie can only do that when her bonds were removed, of course that can wait for later.

"You'll be in more trouble once I get my talons on you!" she barked at the green smurfs, "Let me go, or I'll tear you all to shreds!"

"We don't want to," said a green smurfette, "We think you're going to leave us and never come back."

"That's why you smurfs put the bonds on me?"

"Yeah."

"Good call, cause I'll be long gone by now if you hadn't."

"The way you're acting tells me you probably don't have many friends to rely on when in trouble." said a green smurf wearing goggles.

"What? I do have friends for your information."

"Then you're just a grumpy bird who had been uprooted from your nest, or in this case that blue backpack of yours."

"Where's Banjo? The honey bear I was with?"

"How do I know, I wasn't with the scouting party when they brought you here. Since no one is coming forwards on who brought you here, I think that would remain the great unknown. What I can tell you is that our leader acts just like you, and if he finds out about this he'll probably flip on us. You know, you act just like him, he's always grumpy on occasion."

"Grumpy? F#ck you."

"Suit yourself."

Their leader is similar to Kazooie in personality, this might get interesting when she meets her. If she is lucky, he might do the attack for her. That way, she'll slip out unnoticed and begone. The group of smurfs began to depart, Kazooie noticed they had her in a tight enclosure made out of sticks and rope. It was so well blended into the environment that she didn't noticed until they left.

"Why do you capture me if you're leader wouldn't approve?" Kazooie asked, her voice calmed down.

"I don't know," said another green smurfette, "We're fond of birds."

"You smurfs couldn't make up your mind, can you?"

"Can you? Once you're out of here, how are you going to find your friend? The scouting team plucked you far out in the forest, somewhere in an area where maps are a bit sketchy. You're better off with us than out in predator's territory."

That said, the green smurfette turned and left Kazooie in the pen along with all the other green smurfs. She watched as the green smurfs locked the small gate and left, they all mutter among each other about Kazooie, wondering what was the reason of bringing her here. Once alone, she sat on her rump and grumbled madly on her unfortunate event. She wanted out, but with her head hurting and her anger clouding her mind she wound up settling down and plan her next move.

"I'll get outta here," she mumbled to herself, "And when I do, there's going to be hell to pay."

TO BE CONTINUED...