Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon,it's franchises, or any of it's aspects. In fact, all rights of ownership belong exclusively to Nintendo, Gamefreak, and Satoshi Tajiri & the Pokemon Company.

"Life is a journey; a man with AIDS once said. If so, one of the most important things about going somewhere is who your going with. I mean: if it's a damned pussy, you'll be stuck doing EVERYTHING (for both yourself AND your worthless mate), and'll have to deal with a whining cunt all damn day. If their incompetent, there'll be nothing to talk about (AKA the relationship is BORING), and nobody wants to spend their life without a foot because boredome being with their mate caught up to 'em. They should be smart, but a smart-ass can easily get a one way ticket to Myfootupyourass-ville, especially if they have a motormouth (Talk about exasperating). But of course there are some, such as myself, who prefer to be ALONE, and that being I seriously don't have any problems. Nosiree: I am just peachy-king with my middle-class life, and my "blossoming" career, and my youth...? I mean, being 22, a "fresh-out-of-college" student, to whom the world is just a step away, these are the happiest days of my life! I don't need someone else! In fact everyone can just go hide in a corner and fuck themselves! THIS IS MY LIFE. And if I want to be alone, then I should do it, right?"

A few feet away, you could see a Raichu staring at me with the most irate expression you've ever seen, as if at any given second, he'd attempt to electrocute me to a crisp or something "Dammit, Murphy... All I said was 'How's life?' I didn't fucking ask you to brain-dump all over me!"

"Sorry, Rod." I said with lament, instantly regretting speaking to him in the first place, "I've just been thinking a lot, and you sort of walked onto the tracks of my oncoming train of thought..."

"Yeah... No offense to you," he added as he walked past, going into the neighboring cubicle (which just as grey, dull, and depressing as mine except for a porn magazine that he keeps in his desk; which, oddly enough, is chocked full of gay porn, but simply disguised as the normal stuff) "But you are the saddest little Mudkip I have EVER seen."

One of the things that I've noticed over the years is how people don't know the difference between verbal irony and sarcasm. With verbal irony, you just say it for the purpose of being a smart-ass, but with sarcasm, the intent is to hurt someone.

"Well, thank you for summing that up..." I retorted rather sourly, the sarcasm dripping through my maw with a look that I hoped intended to kill, for I sure felt like it. It's just that Rodney could be such an ass sometimes.

"You need something to cheer you up..." He said, tip-tapping away at that porn oasis he called a laptop as he mulled it over, "By the sounds of it, your love life isn't exactly 'blossoming'."

"No shit, Sherlock." I said as I packed my things for the day in a most angry fashion, hoping to get out of this office before I do something I wish I didn't. Ignoring Rod's smart-assed remarks, I paced towards the door leading out of this classical grey office, and into a cliche parking lot. I would've ran into my car and ditched Rodney in a second, but there were two things that prevented me from driving away in a speedy retreat from this depressing lot where dreams come to die.

I can't drive. No joke. I failed my driver's test when I was 16, and every other attempt since. When I turned twenty, I guess the bitterness just took control, and I just said "Fuck it." It's not as bad as one might think, actually. I just take the subway and walk home from there. Takes a little over half an hour, but in this economy, it's MUCH cheaper than using your car. I have a pair of rollerblades at home that I use to get to places. No doubt that I look like Sir Faggotron of Loserville, but hell, a Mudkip's got to make do.

"Hey, Murphy!" Rodney spoke, knocking me from my trance of self loathing like a baseball bat to the huevos, "How long have I known you?"

"I think since our Junior year of High School..." I droned, hoping this wouldn't take long, because the next circuit to 11th street (where I live) leaves in about... Shit. It already left. Fuck my life... "Why are you asking?"

"I can't believe I've known you for five years..." he murmured like those people in the movies, it's almost sad what they come up with nowadays, "And I still don't know where you live..."

"It's on 11th street." I sighed, I could feel a vein in my forehead throbbing with my exasperation, "And just why do you want to know anyway?"

"I've just been noticing that you take the subway everyday," he said a little too casually as his paw dug into his pocket, probably to fiddle with the cloth, "And..."

"And what?" I asked, a little more attentive since I didn't have to worry about the train anymore, since I was already late and the next one came in an hour.

"Well, Y'know," he began a little awkwardly, I think he stuttered a bit too (Which I find quite odd for someone like Rodney), "I could always take you home... If you want..."

Wow... If I wasn't straight, that would've been the cutest thing I've ever seen. Fuck that, it was cute no matter how I looked at it, and that was certainly an offer I could not refuse, "Ummm... Sure."

In the blink of an eye, and a twist of the keys, we were off down the road in Rodney's gray company car. It was a rather small model, made to do its job and nothing else. Nonetheless, I noticed that Rod had installed some sort of radio into the car that for some reason glowed in many colors. It was colorful enough to trigger Epilepsy in just about anyone, but nonetheless it was still an attractive peice of the car. For some reason, ever since he offered me the ride, he hasn't quite snapped out of that awkwardness, which (I admit) is cute, but a little unusual.

"You wanna tune in to the Radio?" Rodney said as we emerged from the colossal concrete parking lot, "It's got satellite~!"

I've been hearing that they don't censor songs on satellite radio, and honestly, I've been wanting to get one myself. So in response, I pushed the "on" button and on came "Fireflies" by Owl City, and from there immediately changed the station so as not to suffer from my own musical death. The next station was the first of Rodney's six preset stations, which was currently on a boring commercial about having the sex talk with your kids. Of course, having no kids, I proceeded to move on to a station that was playing the Top 40, and immediately gagged as I decided to turn off the radio altogether.

The rest of the way was silent until we got to a bright red brick building that was my apartment complex, at which point Rodney escorted me to the entrance. I had to admit: standing there, I really needed to repay his favor, I mean, I'd have to be a jerk to not give him something in return, right? Too bad our paychecks don't come around until Friday. I guess I should invite him inside for some coffee or something.

And that I certainly did.

"I could go for some coffee." Rodney said with a small yawn as we walked up to my apartment, he stretching his back as we came to the door, but as he came in I noticed just how long his tail is. I mean, that thing's about as long as his body, but it's as thin as an udon noodle.

As I escorted him through the door, he kicked off his shoes into the doorway, which was followed with a small uttering about respect and cleanliness and whatnot (I never knew that Rodney was so polite...); putting a long story short, I did the same thing.

Walking into my apartment, the first thing you see is the living room, and the small kitchen just beyond an old-looking vinyl couch (It's convertible, so it's also my bed) which is in front of a normal sized television set on a cherrywood stand my mother brought as a housewarming gift. There's nothing particularly interesting about the interior design of my apartment. The walls are an eggshell white, and the carpet is a boring beige-ish color.

Speaking of housewarming, when I first moved in, my sister got me one of those coffee machines that uses cartridges for each cup of whatever hot drink you want. Coffee, tea, hot chocolate; whatever, and after I found a place that sells the cartridges for a good price, I've been using this thing on the daily. Thank you, sis.

I opened a drawer just below the coffeemaker and pulled out two cartridges, and got a mug of warm water from the sink before putting everything in place. Doing all of this, I could feel Rodney watching me curiously from the couch as he made a decent facade at observing my cofeetable contents. I brought back the coffee just as he had picked up a book from the table, eying it with a skeptical composure.

"I see you're into Vampires..." he remarked as he held up my copy of Bram Stoker's "Dracula".

"Not really." I said, blushing just a bit at the accusation, and being a little bit embarrassed by it as well,"I just heard that it was a good read. I mean, that new teen bullcrap is a little too angsty for my taste, but Dracula is a legitimately scary book!"

"Seriously...?" he said with a scoff, his brow ruffling with disbelief, "How could a BOOK possibly be scary?"

"It's hard to get at..." I started, searching in my head for the right answer, and hoping to Arceus that it'd come to me as I said it, "But if you feel the words instead of think about them, it's as if your in the book itself, and from there, it's all up to the author's vision to guide you..."

As I stopped, it felt as if the whole city had gone quiet, I swear that I could hear my heart pounding within my chest, and the air began to get heavier; so much that I wished to scream just to end this tormenting silence. I looked up at Rodney, and his eyes were locked on me, strewn into thought. He didn't seem to notice me as I looked into his eyes, and nothing else seemed to be going on. It was almost as if time had stopped around me, and I was the only one aware. But of course, I was proven wrong when Rodney gave me a smile, but not just a regular smile. This one was much sweeter and sincere, and the only one like it that I have ever seen on Rod's face "That's an interesting way of thinking about it..."

"I guess it is." I said rather contented, my gills flushing with blood from the compliment as he placed the book back onto the table. I handed him his coffee, and gave him the grand tour of the last room in the apartment, the bathroom. After this, I decided to hang with him for a bit, since I don't have to start preparing dinner for about half an hour.

"Do you ever get lonely around here, Murphy?" he asked, taking a periodic swig from his mug.

"Yeah, I guess..." I answered a little too truthfully, hoping he wouldn't judge me too harshly for my answer.

"Would you want to have a mate?" Rod suggested just as casually as my mother walk around nude in her home, "It would probably help."

"Yeah..." I replied, the tiniest bit skeptical about where he was going at, yet exasperated at how he was going about it.

"Have you tried dating?"

"C'mon! This is me you're talking about." I joked, chuckling as I seriously thought over it; yes it'd fix my problem, but the problem is how I'm going to get a date in the first place.

"Have you heard of a dating site?"

"Yeah...?" I had, in fact, from my mother. She said, that a lot of relationships are made through the computer, and when she told me that at the age of 12 I said to myself, "Damn... I can't believe that some people are so desperate and clueless that they need assistance from the internet to find a mate." Little did I know that I'd be one of those clueless, desperate losers who needs this sort of help. I guess it's Karma coming to bite me in the ass.

"Have you tried it?"

"No." do I really need to explain?

"Then you know what you need to do." Rodney said as he finished his coffee and headed for the bathroom.

"I guess..." I replied with a sigh, pulling out the old laptop to start on this plan...

I eventually made an account on a Dating site called Net-Melody with the following information.

Username: HartOnThePages
Species: Mudkip
Age: 22
Sex: Male
S.O.: Bi-curious (I wasn't entirely sure for reasons that I don't want to talk about right now)
Height: 1' 5"
Weight: 17.3 lbs (I gained some weight from lazing around a bit too much. Maybe I should go on a jog or something this weekend)
Looking for: A serious long-term relationship

Status:

SINGLE