Hole In My Soul

Danny woke to the annoying sound of his alarm. He rolled over to find that his girlfriend Lindsay was not there next to him as she should have been. He tossed the covers off him and wandered, still half asleep, into the kitchen. After turning on the coffee pot, he noticed something on the counter. On the counter was a piece of paper that read:

My Love,

Mac called me in early this morning. I will see you

at the lab later. I love you.

Lindsay

Danny smiled at the small heart she always put next to her name. She always said it was her way of reminding him that her heart was his. Danny and Lindsay started dating a little over a year ago. He had finally convinced her to move in with him three months ago. He could not remember the last time he was this happy. She helped calm his fears of his past and helped him see there really was a light at the end of a dark tunnel and it was her.

Lindsay laid in a pool of her own blood, barely breathing, barely alive, trying to hold on long enough for someone to find her. She had been told the scene had been cleared. She had been told it was safe. That was before the suspect, who was a member of the Tanglewood Gang, shot her. All she could think about was the pain and Danny. She did not want to leave Danny, but she knew she was dying. She did not know how much longer she could hold on.

As she lay there, she continued flashing back to the past year.

"Danny, you know what I want to do with you?" Lindsay said as she wrapped her arms around the neck of her boyfriend.

Danny raised an eyebrow. "Linds, we can't do that here; Mac would kill us!" He said quietly, looking around.

"Not that, I want to go horseback riding, and get a big house together, maybe even raise some horses together, and I want to have a life with you." She said smiling.

"You are such a country girl." He said with a small laugh. "Well, I promise you that we will do that someday soon, very soon. I especially want to make the last part happen." He said as he kissed her forehead. "Linds, I don't know how to ride a horse though." He said a little embarrassed.

"That's okay hun, I can teach you." She said with a smile.

A few months later, Danny decided it was time to start making a life for him and Lindsay. He went to a pet store and picked out a small black puppy. Danny quietly opened the door to his and Lindsay's apartment, snuck softly in the bedroom where his lover was asleep, and laid the puppy next to her. Lindsay began to wake to the gentle licking of a small tongue on her face. Danny chuckled as she woke up to her new present.

"I thought this was a good way to start our life together." He said with a smile.

"Oh Danny, I love him! What to you want to call him?" She said holding the puppy in her arms.

"Oh, I don't know. How about Coco?" He said holding up a box of chocolates that he had bought for Lindsay a few days earlier.

"No, and he's not brown, he's black! What about Jake?" She said petting the small dog.

"Jake sounds good." He said as he kissed Lindsay softly on the lips.

Lindsay began to cry as she realized that she might never see her love again. As she let out a cry of pain, the man who had shot her came over and rolled her on her back and begin to carve a 'T' into her shoulder.

"Just let me go, please…" Lindsay begged.

"You should have just told me where to find Danny and I would have let you live." He said as he stood up and pulled out his gun.

"No…" She cried.

"Say goodbye, sweetie." He said as he pulled the trigger and shot her in the head. Then finished the note for Danny and quickly left the scene.

Danny stopped off at the jewelry store on his way into work. It had been two weeks since he ordered a specially designed engagement ring for Lindsay. It was finally in and he could not wait to ask her to be his forever.

Danny walked into the lab and saw everyone running around frantically, except for Stella, who sat on a bench crying, Flack trying to comfort her. Danny started becoming very uneasy as he passed his fellow coworkers on his way to his boss's office.

As he walked into Mac's office, Mac turned around and quickly wiped away tears from his eyes.

"Mac, you okay?" Danny asked concerned but confused.

"No, but I need you to work a case, and it's not going to be easy for you." Mac said deeply sorry.

"Okay..." Danny said a little worried.

"Stella is taking over Lindsay's case, and I need you to work…" Mac's eyes started to tear up again, he did not know if he could tell the one man who loved her the most. "I need you to work…" Mac started but was interrupted by Hawkes.

"Mac, is it true? Is Lindsay really dead?" Hawkes asked in disbelief.

Danny's eyes widened as he heard the words pour out of Sheldon's mouth. Anger and pain filled Danny's soul. He could not believe it, he would not.

"Danny…" Mac started.

"Mac is it true?" Danny asked with a shaky voice. Mac nodded. "NOO! Tell me it's not true!" Danny screamed. No one answered him. "Fine. I will find out myself!" Danny said as he ran as fast and hard as he could to the morgue.

When he reached the doors to the morgue, he hesitated for a moment, and then slowly opened the door. As he walked in, he saw what looked like Lindsay lying on a table. He walked slowly over the table, and stood above the woman who used to be his girlfriend. There she was, lying there dead before him. Danny wanted to believe that he was dreaming -- he prayed that he was. He sank to his knees and sobbed. His life had not mattered before her and it would not matter with out her.

Mac walked quietly up behind Danny and laid his hand on Danny's shoulder attempting to comfort his younger coworker.

"Danny, I'm so sorry." Mac said softly.

"Who did this to her, Mac?" Danny asked through his tears.

Mac lowered the sheet that lay across Lindsay's small body. Danny stood up slowly to see an old English 'T' carved into her shoulder. Danny knew the meaning behind the symbol; it was the marking of the Tanglewood Gang. Danny's tears stopped and all that was in him was now anger. The anger and hatred of his old life. Danny bent down and kissed his love's cold forehead, and began to walk out of the morgue, but not before he turned and took one last look at the woman who held his heart and always would. Mac escorted Danny home and told him if he needed anything to call.

The only thing Danny wanted was Lindsay back or to go with her. He had no reason left to live. He reached into his pocket and felt the ring that he had picked up that morning. Staring at the ring he thought to himself, 'I could have saved her.' He placed the ring on his chain that he wore around his neck, grabbed his gun and his field kit, and went to her crime scene.

Once he got to her scene he walked in the house and saw a note with "Danny" written in a man's handwriting. He put on a pair of gloves, picked up the note, and began to read it:

Danny,

Like our little gift for you? Your girlfriend in a puddle of blood.

Just like your gunna be! We are coming for you!

"T"

Danny took off his glasses, wiped the tears from his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to look for any thing that could tell him what went wrong. Grabbing his camera he began to photograph the scene. When he finished photographing the scene, he began to collect any apparent evidence. Danny found saw a wallet lying on the floor just a few feet away from where Lindsay had been. 'They would not have been that careless' he thought to himself. He picked up the wallet, and opened it the only thing in it was a driver's license, which belonged to a Joe Arnoeni. Danny's heart and soul filled up with anger and hate, he knew what he had to do. He had to find Joe.

Later that day, Danny went to his old gang territory and found Joe sleeping in a chair. Danny quietly snuck up behind him, drugged Joe with a strong form of ethanol, and then took him to an old abandoned warehouse. As Joe started to wake, he found himself tied to a chair.

"Where am I?" He asked in a very groggy tone.

"In hell." Danny said very sternly.

"Messer? Is that you?" Joe said.

"Yes, it is. You thought you could get to me through her -- you were wrong. She willingly gave her life to protect me."

"Aww, how sweet." Joe said mockingly.

"But I just don't understand why you had to kill her! You knew how to find me! Tell me WHY!" Danny said grabbing the arms of the chair and yelling in Joe's face.

"Because we wanted you to suffer!" Joe yelled back.

"Is that RIGHT! Is that right?" Danny started, about to cry again. "Well you wanted me to suffer; I'll show you what suffering is, you Son of a Bitch!" Danny said as he took out his gun and shot Joe's trigger finger off. Danny could not hold them back anymore he let his tears fall freely now. "Say goodbye, asshole!" Danny said as he shot Joe in the chest, squeezing the gun's trigger until the clip was empty.

Danny knew he had to leave New York for good. He knew that the Tanglewoods would be all over him if he stayed, but where would he go? Jake came and put his paw on Danny's leg, letting him know he wanted to go for a walk. Danny and Lindsay wanted to get a bigger place with a yard for Jake to run in. He knew she wanted to own a ranch back in Montana and he wanted that too. Danny glanced up at a picture of them from when they went to visit her parents in Montana and noticed how happy they looked. He knew Jake would love Montana and he could raise horses as he told her they would. Montana. He was going to go to Montana. He knew there was one last thing he had to do. Call Mac.

A few days later Mac called Danny to come and pick up Lindsay's body from the morgue. Danny walked into the morgue and was met by Mac, Hawkes, Flack, and Stella who were all saying their goodbyes.

"Hey, Danny, Lindsay's parents know that you are on your way today and they can't wait to see you." Mac told Danny with tears in his eyes.

"Thanks, Mac, it's been an absolute pleasure working for you and with all of you." Danny said to his fellow coworkers.

"Danny, must you go too?" Stella asked through her tears.

"Yes, it's for the best. I would not want another one of you getting hurt on my behalf. You should know that you all became my family." Danny said trying not to cry.

After saying his final goodbyes, he got in his Tahoe and headed, for the last time, out of the 'Big Apple' with Lindsay. She loved Montana -- after all it's were she was from and where her family was. As they drove, he played her favorite song "I Meant To" by Brad Cotter. When he finally reached her parents' ranch, he stepped out of his Tahoe and was greeted by her parents.

"Hello Danny, we missed you." Said Lindsay's mother as she walked up to him and hugged him.

"Mrs. Monroe, I missed you too." He replied.

"You're really here to stay?" She asked.

"Yes, ma'am. My place is here near Lindsay." He said wiping away a tear from his eye.

"She loved you so much." Mrs. Monroe said as she started to cry.

"Well ma'am, I loved my fiancée very much too…" He said as he started to choke up again.

At that moment, her parents looked at each other and both hugged what would have been their future son-in-law.

The next morning Danny and Lindsay's parents buried the girl who had won their hearts.

"Linds, I promise to do everything we said we were gunna do together. I love you." Danny said as he placed his dog tags around her neck and kissed her forehead.

Six months later, Lindsay's parents finally had to retire and let Danny take over the ranch. He promised Lindsay that he would learn to ride a horse and now he knew how to break them and raise them. Danny saddled his horse Linds, and rode out toward the mountains. When he reached the stream that Lindsay took him to so long ago, he got off his horse and sat next to the stream with Jake lying next to him. Noticing some flowers growing next to the riverbed, he picked them, rode back to Lindsay's grave, and placed them on her grave.

"I miss you, Linds. Without you here there is a huge hole in my soul and I wish everyday that you were " He said softly as he stared at her headstone, then got back on his horse and rode off in the sunset of his new home, Montana. Lindsay's Montana.