A very 90s Sonic the Hedgehog zoomed along, head-banging to the latest song from Craptastica on his bulky cassette-tape walkman.
"I am ice cream man, runnin' over kids in my ice cream van!" Sonic sang along as loud as possible. "They try to run and hide! Then I get my dog named Clyde!"
He threw up the horns and didn't watch where he was going.
"I sic Clyde on them! And he rips those kids limb from limb!"
Sonic's left toe hit a large clump of grass, and he tripped faster than the speed of sound. He gained some wicked-sick air, flying over the heads of three young boys watching from the nondescript grassy plain below.
"It's a bird!" yelled the boy with the spiky hairdo.
"It's a plane!" cried the boy with red curly hair.
"No, it's—"
Sonic fell and skid-landed not far from them, eating dirt as the straight-haired boy was talking.
"...On the ground!" the same kid finished. He grinned and giggled.
"That's not funny!" came a high-pitched young voice.
"Huh?" queried the comedian. He turned around and came face to foot with an orange fox's shoe as Tails rocked his world with a mid-air spin kick. The youth's head twisted around in slow motion, blood and spittle flying from his lips like dewdrops, and he hit the grass, dead.
Tails gave his final sentiments to the life once lived. "Ha, ha!"
Sonic jumped up and walked over to his friend with a smile. "Yeah Tails, that was a good one." Then he whipped out a ray gun and yelled "Not!" as he squeezed the trigger.
Tails only got a second to scream before his body poofed into a steaming pile of ashes.
"Ha, ha!" Sonic bellowed Tails's mirth back at him. Then the plot got tired of all these unfunny jerks laughing at their own jokes, so they made Sonic point the gun at himself.
Zap!
A blue pile of ashes sifted into place next to the orange one, which squeezed out one final, "Ha, ha!"