A/N: This is my first fanfic ever, so let me know if I can keep writing or not. English is not my main language, so it may have some grammar mistakes.
This is a one shot fic for now but I might as well continue if someone is interesting.
I do not own Glee or any of the characters as well as the songs. Enjoy :)
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She has been waiting for this since she was 5 years old and learned which colleges were going to turn her into a Broadway star, and when that morning came, she was more than prepared to see that she was accepted on NYADA. The more Rachel Berry thing to do would be setting the alarm clock to 6 sharp, run downstairs and rip that envelope open but that Rachel Berry had to learn to not be so eager about things like that since she once fell off the stairs and almost broke her talent – nose.
When she gets downstairs, her daddy Hiram is almost jumping on his seat from excitement while her dad Leroy tries to calm down his husband. Then she sees it, a white medium envelope resting on the middle of the coffee table, suddenly she feels every cell in her body squirm in anxiety, she becomes very aware of how hard her heart is beating, this is her dream after all, this will change her life forever… She looks into her fathers eyes, smiles and opens the envelope. Her vision gets too blurry to read through it all, because the first sentence is "You've been accepted into NYADA. Welcome, Rachel Barbra Berry". Strong arms followed by "I knew it!" "They saw your talent, sweetheart!" make everything even more perfect for her.
It's predictable that as soon as she enters the hallways of Mckinley High, she would be with a giant grin on her face and run to the choir room to tell her friends – well, at least she can consider them as such now – the big news.
"Good morning, my dear friends from Glee Club and Mr. Schuester. As all of you know and appreciate, I have a really gifted voice that became this perfect after enduring hours of practice and a really thick routine of early mornings, enough hours of sleep and – "
"Rachel, can you get to the point?" Will says sounding already bored with Rachel's speech.
"Yes, Mr. Schuester. I've been accepted into NYADA!" Rachel says clapping her hands and grinning. A second after the news are broken, Kurt runs into the room breathless.
"I'm in! I'm in! I received NYADA'S letter today and – "
"Oh my sweet Barbra, I'm in too, Kurt!" Rachel says already hugging her best friend. Entering in NYADA is great but surely it wouldn't be this great without Kurt by her side, she knows that it's lonely at the top and she needs someone who understands it and reminds her of her past by her side. As soon as the rest of the club recovers from the shock, they all go to hug Rachel and Kurt that couldn't be happier, well except from one person, Quinn. It's not that the ex-head cheerleader is still a bitch that doesn't care about anything then tear people down, in fact it's the opposite, Quinn cares too much and because of that she is just shocked and glued on her sit with a knot on her stomach, a tight heart and tears burning behind her eyes.
"Mr. Schuester, may I?" Quinn asks gesturing to the door of the room. Schuester nods and Quinn gets up while everyone go back to their seats and as always, Rachel sits beside Finn who gives her a wet peck on the cheek. This makes Quinn feel like throwing up and suddenly her head is full of thoughts, feelings and images that she can't take right now.
She runs to the closest bathroom and locks herself in one of the stalls, then she starts crying until she is sobbing hard against the door. She isn't supposed to feeling like this, she has to be happy for her friends, right? But it's not like they are exactly her friends, Kurt never bothered her and he is nice to talk to, so she is happy for him getting to conquer his dream and Rachel… God, that girl. Why does this girl have so much effect on Quinn? She confuses the hell out of the blonde, because how come the person she always claimed to hate, be the person who mostly gets her and is always there for her even when she really doesn't want anyone around? Her walls feel like jelly every time Rachel is around and she doesn't have any other way then to open up for that small girl. She always says to herself that she doesn't need anyone, not even Rachel. But why knowing that Rachel will surely be leaving hurts so much and makes her want to cry her eyes out? Why knowing that she won't ever see the brunette again the way she does at school makes her feel all those feelings?
The next morning is even worse for Quinn because she knows that Rachel will come after her to ask if she is okay after yesterday's event, so she just hides every time the diva is around. Is between Math and Spanish classes and after seeing Rachel almost flying with happiness that she decides that at least, the brunette deserves to know that Quinn cares. When they are all in the choir room and Will says that Quinn is going to perform, it's not a surprise that the first person to stop talking to listen to her is Rachel. The band starts playing the intro as Quinn closes her eyes to sing.
"Never can say goodbye, no no no no, I never can say goodbye." She opens her eyes and sees Rachel smiling, she turns her head to the rest of the club and start swaying. "Even though the pain and heartache seem to follow me wherever I go, though I try, I try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show, then you try to say you're leaving me and I always have to say no…" On this part she looks at Rachel and can't stop the tears to form, because that's it, she can't say goodbye to the diva. It doesn't matter that she is going to Yale and only be some hours away from Rachel, because she doesn't have any excuses to go visit her, and besides, Rachel will always be busy with auditions, practices and never will have time for Quinn. "Tell me why, is it so? Don't wanna let you go. I never can say goodbye, boy"
What Rachel doesn't understand is why Quinn looks so heartbroken when she seemed fine at the beginning of the week, or why is she with tears on her eyes singing that song and looking to her but when their eyes meet, Quinn always looks away… She never saw such a pretty girl like Quinn, especially now when she is vulnerable, just like that one time on the bathroom at the prom… "I keep thinking that our problems soon are all gonna work out, but there's that same unhappy feeling and there's that anguish, there's that doubt" Quinn sings smiling humorlessly "It's that same old dizzy hang up" She locks eyes with Rachel and sings "Can't live with you or without" then she looks away and whispers "I never can say goodbye".
With that, she runs out of the choir room, when she is halfway through the hallway, she hears a familiar voice.
"Quinn, wait!" Rachel shouts from the door of the choir room. Then Quinn stops but doesn't turn to face the diva.
"What do you want, Rachel?" Her voice is so cracked and low that is almost a whisper and if Rachel's hearing wasn't so focused on things, she would have missed it.
"What was that song about?"
"Why do you care so damn much about my life?" She answers turning and looking sharply at the diva and starts walking again.
"Don't walk away from me, Quinn, please… I care about you and you looked so vulnerable. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't see the way you looked at me while you were singing that song." Rachel starts to come closer to Quinn until she is two foot away from the blonde. "Why do you look so sad? You didn't tell me what is happening, I thought we were friends" then she looks at the floor with a sad, broken look.
Quinn looks at Rachel and says "I never said we were friends." Rachel's breath catches in her throat then Quinn continues " I never wanted to be just your friend, Rachel." With that the brunette looks up with a confused look and when she opens her mouth to say something, Quinn cuts her off "I kind of always knew why I didn't want to be just that for you, but I couldn't accept it, but when you told us that you got into NYADA… God, Rachel, it felt like something was breaking inside of me."
"But you guys always knew that I wanted to get into NYADA, you can't say that you were surprised by it… And it's not like I will forget the people from the glee club, I mean, Kurt will be my classmate on college and despite our constant bickering, I will call Mercedes once a month or as weird as that is, even Santana and – "
"But you won't remember me…" Quinn whispers in such broken voice that Rachel has never heard coming from the ex-cheerleader.
After some seconds of struggling and opening and closing her mouth, Rachel gives up trying to talk and the only thing she can say is "I – Quinn.. What- What do you mean? Of course that – "
"No, Rachel… You won't and you know it, you will be too busy to see me, you will be too focused on being a star that you already are… I wasted too much time trying to hide, accept my feelings for you and tearing you down." She looks Rachel deeply in the eyes and says letting out a breath "I'm not ready to say goodbye and see you leaving, Rachel… I'm not ready to let you go" and with that, a tear slides down Quinn's cheek.