I was bored and saw this one crackfic with a pairing Wilson/Duckie, which immediately made me think of the possibilities of a crackfic with something that makes sense only if you are me, RemyTheReaper, or know me and all my friends personally…no, actually I don't think it even would make sense to them. Parts might. I don't even know. I'm rambling.
It was Valentines Day at PPTH. No one had really noticed, aside from a few nurses who had decided to decorate with a few hideous pink neon flashing heart signs, because the hospital had been hit on the head the day before with a bag of money with the note, "Use on complete and utter pointless shit." So far, the hospital had wasted half of it betting on what color Thirteen was going to dye her eyebrows. Everyone seemed to think it was going to be orange with green stripes, but Wilson knew that it was going to be blue with orange polka dots, because Amber had risen from the dead and told him, after having broken into Thirteen's bathroom and taking all of her other eyebrow dyes. The hospital had also bought a towering giraffe vampire bat unicorn statue, which had been stationed in the lobby.
So, Wilson had just gotten out of a surgery where the patient had been attacked by a rabid lawn mower, causing them to turn blue and try to save the world with a carrot. Then the carrot had turned bad and gotten stuck in his chest, which was why he needed the surgery DUH! He was okay, though, they had managed to stop the carrot in time. He wanted to go to the Dora the Explorer musical, which was conveniently playing 500 miles away, but he had the power to read people's toenails, so it was all good. Then Amber, (she came back from the dead, remember?) Cameron, and Taub burst in. Amber was holding a light saber of epic epicness, and Cameron and Taub were holding up squirt guns.
Amber suddenly caught sight of the neon Valentines Day signs and started screaming with pain. "MY EYES!" she yelled. She hurried over to the closest one and started killing it with her light saber. Then she collapsed, because the pink was too much.
Taub (who was wearing lipgloss by the way, did I mention? It looked very nice on him.) quickly sprayed the remaining signs with Febreze. They immediately evaporated.
Amber, who was writhing in pain on the floor stood up. "Thanks Taub." she said, perfectly calmly.
"Guys, we still have to hold up the hospital!" said Cameron impatiently.
"We KNOW, Cameron. I was just dying from exposure to couple-ness." Amber replied. "Okay, we're ready."
Just then, Foreman and Thirteen got off the elevator together. "DIE, FOREMAN!" Cameron yelled. Foreman and Thirteen disappeared in a puff of pink smoke, and Thirteen appeared next to Kutner, and Foreman appeared next to Cameron, who was holding up a shock stick.
"Please don't kill me." said Foreman. Cameron shocked him. He fell over and started sprouting green hair.
"Hey Kutner, wanna get married?" said Thirteen. Kutner nodded.
"Okay." he said. They walked off to go find the lost city of Atlantis and dance with Uncle Ernie.
Then the lovely giraffe vampire bat unicorn statue started singing about how epic it was. All three doctors had to say the secret magic words to make it be quiet.
Then Taub pointed his squirt gun at the nearest nurse. "We're holding up the school!" he said. "Give me your shoelaces!"
"This isn't the school, it's the hospital. Here's my shoelaces, by the way." the nurse handed him a donut.
"I WANNA HAVE A DONUT!" Amber yelled. She kidnapped it from Taub and ran away.
"Wait, this isn't the school?" said Taub.
"Nope, it's a hospital." the nurse replied. "Have a nice day." She turned around and magically transformed into Barney. Taub smited her and then walked out the door, because it was pointless to hold up the place if it wasn't a school.
Yep, just Valentines Day. No one had really noticed.
And that is what happens when I get bored and decide to apply my life to crackfics. Life. Please review, flame, anything!