Nymphadora Tonks barely heard the Vicar's words as she numbly sat back on the pew, playing with the necklace that hung in the dip between her breasts. The pain she had felt at the Burrow on the announcement of his death had been nothing in comparison to this gaping hole she now felt in the place that her mentor had once lived, watching over her as she chased after the bad guys as an Auror.
As she looked around the church, Remus looking at her with concern on his face, she could see the others – old colleagues, order members, school friends. They were all confused when they received their invitations – all bar a few anyway, for why would any wizard want to be laid to rest here? In a god forsaken church in the middle of Manchester, and a muggle one at that.
Tonk's lips tilted up slightly, much to the alarm of her far too attentive husband. Moody never told many people about his childhood – in fact, he actively avoided the subject, especially to his students at the Academy. But she was never just an ordinary student so she knew all about the poverty that took his side of the family, and how they had to move out of the wizarding world, and how Alastor had to grow up on the back streets of a city that was more monstrous than anything the Aurors could throw at him.
Perhaps that was what made him so good at his job she pondered to herself as the next speaker came up. She was offered a part of the ceremony but she promptly refused. She knew Alastor would have hated any celebration past going around the local pub and drinking to his memory. Or even better, stay at home, locking all the doors and windows before having a non-alcoholic beverage that you have triple tested before even attempting to sniff at it.
She choked down a snort. That would have been Moody alright. He would have hated this. She heard choice phrases from the man who was talking – apparently an old school friend. "An honourable wizard" and an "Inspiration to all those who benefited under his teaching"
Again Tonks had to hold back an inappropriate burst of laughter before she gained the eyes of the entire congregation. She could remember the first time she met him. She was so excited about making the course, the first Hufflepuff for 10 years to be in training to become an auror. She had spent hours getting ready, deciding on hair colour, outfit, opening remarks. Her mother had come to set her off, and she was literally bouncing on the balls of her feet when she finally made it to the Ministry.
She was met at the reception by a sour faced witch who took her name and directed her to a meeting room on the 2nd floor. She followed the instructions, somehow managing to not only bang into a young, dark skinned man who introduced himself as Kingsley, but also knock over a pot plant. She made it to the room in one piece however, and after spending the good part of 5 minutes staring at the door handle as though it were going to bite her, she cautiously entered the room, which seemed silent. At that point, everything went black.
When she came to, she found herself to be flat on her back, being frowned at by a haggard old wizard with one eye, only half a nose and by the sound of his footsteps as he walked away from her, one leg. There were also a large number of other Academy students, all with varying looks of relief and amusement on their faces. The man introduced himself as Alastor Moody, the Auror whom, not by choice, had been put in charge of their training, and he quickly made clear that if he ever saw a pupil of his fall like that again, they would be kicked out before they could even say 'Stupefy'. And with that declaration, he threw a large file at each of them and told them to solve the case, before leaving the room with a billow of his coat that could have put their young potion's teacher to shame.
Tonks smiled at the memory. She had been petrified of him, her hair remaining pure white for the entirety of the day. None of the pupils had dared come to help pick her up, bar one – a young man by the name of William Crowfoot. The moment that Mad-Eye had left the room, he had come rushing over to help her.
"Complete lunatic isn't he?" He asked her "My dad works here and he said that Mad Eye went around the bend during the war – was hit by one too many spells. Says the office is going to try and get rid of him soon"
Still too shell shocked to reply. Tonks hadn't managed a single word, but instead, accepted the proffered hand to hoist herself back up onto her feet. She managed a shaky smile, before heading towards one of the desks. She was surprised when he went to sit next to her, but with their combined efforts, they completed the task far quicker than any of their fellow students, and were almost gifted with a nod of approval when their mentor re-entered the room. That was before he scolded them for working together and as punishment, set them each 2 more cases to do for the next day.
Tonks couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. Her hair finally decided to change colour, this time to an angry red, something that caught the eye of all in the room. When Moody had finally dismissed them, the first thing she did was drag Crowfoot back to her house in order for them to complete the impossible task together, just to spite the old man. That was when their friendship and all their problems that came with it had started, and when her enmity between her and her mentor was in its infancy.
Remus tapped her shoulder and she looked up, realising that everyone was leaving the church, to congregate outside to where a traditional wizarding pyre was built up. Alastor always wanted to be cremated, saying he would never risk his body being turned into an inferi. They had failed him on that mark, for his body was never found. Tonks took a deep breath, which turned into a strangled sob as it left her throat. It finally hit her – he was dead. He was never coming back.
She doubled over as the hole began to ache, so painful that it could have been mistaken for a physical wound, and Remus wrapped his arms around her in comfort and hot salty tears ran down his cheeks. A hand went over her stomach, where her baby was growing. If the most constant man she had ever known had been pulled out of this life in only a couple of seconds, how could a baby that she could barely picture in her head survive?
They hadn't even told anyone yet. Moody was going to be the first to know – they were going to offer him the position of godfather. Remus had wanted to appoint Harry the position, but Tonks had been adamant. Moody would have been honoured, she was positive. He would have been more protective of her baby than even she or her husband could have been. Exactly what her child needed to live in this war.
But he was dead – her rock, her mentor and close friend. Now he was gone, how could she guarantee any of their survival? Who could say that she, Remus or their baby would survive through this? All it took was a flash of green light and all was gone. She sniffed, her tears subsiding.
"Constant Vigilance" She could hear him say, as clearly as if he were still standing beside her as he scolded her for failing yet another test "That is what will keep you alive"
She held the pendant around her neck with a new determination as her tears subsided. The hole suddenly didn't seem so ragged as she thought it over. They would survive this war. They would survive this war for him, for he couldn't truly leave, as he had left too much of himself in her.
She smiled and when it was her go, she stepped forward to add her contribution to the pyre. The other contributions were scattered around the wood – a burgundy Asiatic lily, his self proclaimed favourite flower, a small, thread bare teddy whose origins were entirely unknown, a scrap of tweed fabric, from his 21st birthday party if his stories were to be believed, an eye strap. She looked at her contribution, suddenly unsure whether it was suitable.
She glanced back at Remus, who smiled at her encouragingly, and she felt a familiar warmth build in her chest as she placed the parchment inside which a small lock of her hair was wrapped, deep inside the wood of the pyre.
"I've returned it to you" she whispered, as though his body were actually present on the pile. A soft breeze blew her mousy hair, turning the tips of it a rich burgundy. She quickly stepped back and with a quick spell, set the wood ablaze, burning the last part of her that was drowning in grief at her mentor's loss. There were more important things to worry about than that – like the future of her child, the future of her husband and the future of the wizarding world.
As he would say, if he were here beside her "Constant Vigilance!"
I've had this story in my head for absolutely ages! In fact, I still have the entire backstory of Tonks in my head - including a more in depth look at Crowfoot and how her hate for Moody grows to respect and a strong friendship.
I might be tempted to write it up if anyone is actually interested. If not, I'll file it as a project that never took wing. Say if you would like me to - by review or PM (though preferably the former!)
Anyway - I'll get the update for Butterflies done as soon as possible! Please review!