If I kill myself will you still be by my side like you promised the day we first met under the stars and trees with leaves falling like our own little storm to seclude us from the rest of the world.

Will you still be the one that helps me trust again or are will you turn into a monster that wants to destroy all of my precious memories of the only time when I was loved for who I was and not what I wasn't.

No matter how hard I think, I can't tell if you'll be hurting or helping me find my own world to lie in when I finally leave this heal of a place we call Earth because I can't stay here forever like you want me to.

Life is getting harder and harder to bear when you aren't by my side like you used to be because back then you were all mine but now I have to share you with some girl that doesn't deserve your love unlike me, who should get it.

Love is a bitch if you don't know how to treat it right like we used to know how until I was caught without you and before all these scars appeared on my body letting me remind myself of you every time I look at my wrists.

When I drain myself of my red life what do you think is going through my mind other than painful thoughts of you and me back in my oldest lifetime when you still kept your word or at least didn't let me find out.

This life is something I wasn't supposed to go through alone but look at me now I'm alone and loveless like my worst nightmares because you aren't here anymore to love me like you promised damn it.

My nightmares are now becoming either reoccurring or real in my eyes of fear as you lie there with the other girl on the bed we used to share on the nights I ran away from the fear of my home that would have killed me.

You were my only way of trying to live but now that I don't' have you I see no reason to live amongst this hell of a life you all love so much that you say was made to love and hate other people who weren't yourself.

Fears and insecurities are starting to eat away at me again because now that you are back to trying to get me back I can't do anything because I know you don't love me the way you used to before you met that bitch.

Let me in once again and maybe I'll show you what you've done to my soul with out even knowing it had happened every night since you walked out on my in the rain because I wouldn't let you do what you wanted.

Now I'm better and I think I still won't let you have your way with me because I have more self esteem than that and I like to believe I have more to offer to you than my body that will never be yours.

How do you like my new life the one I created with out your help and the one you almost prevented from ever having taken form with your simple words that most people wouldn't understand after me crying like I did for so long after you left me .

Am I so worthless that some random slut could take my place and the slut wasn't even what you normally wanted she was so used she didn't understand you trying to give her your feelings that belonged to me that you were afraid of me knowing existed

When I feel like letting you know how I feel I'll show you the rivers of tears that have your name all over them because you came so close to killing me in an easy 5 words that would crush anyone "I don't like you anymore"

I loved you and now I think I have to get you out of my mind before I go insane!!!