Obsessive Frozen Fan Fiction
By, The Tooters Girl
(FYI: This thing reads like a wanna be movie script…)
Hans, The Ever Diabolical Douche
It's been six months since Hans was returned to the Southern Isles in disgrace. His brothers have been justly punishing him in all kinds of degrading ways. He himself can't decide which is worse; mucking out the royal stables, doing all of the kingdom's dishes, or having to dust the entire castle in a French maid's outfit. He wants to say the later, but they're all equally terrible and embarrassing. He's Prince Hans of the Southern Isles! He shouldn't be made to do the work of servants! No, even after all this time, Hans feels completely justified in trying to take over Arendelle. He's positive that he's not the only one of the younger thirteen to have had the idea to take over some kingdom, somewhere.
One day while he's dusting the castle library in his French maid's uniform, Hans discovers something by chance that changes the course of his life forever. As he's dusting off a series of books, a scroll that was hidden between two of them falls to the floor. After making sure no one's around, Hans bends down to pick up the scroll. Standing back up, he unrolls it and begins to read. As he reads, an evil smile comes across his face. Done reading, he rolls the scroll back up, then looking around once more and still seeing that he's alone, Hans pockets the scroll. He then commences his dusting in a much better mood. Now he has something that will help him to get everything he desires. Hans spends the rest of the day doing everything that he's supposed too so no one will suspect that he's planning his escape. The first thing he has to figure out is how to outwit the guards that'll be locking him in his cell in the evening. Hans figures that since he's gone so willingly with them the past few months, that they'll never suspect him of trying to get away.
That night, his assumption proves right. As the guards are taking him to his cell in the palace dungeon, he attacks. Both guards yell in surprise as Hans trips up one and punches the other. The other prisoners cheer him on as grabs the fallen guard's sword. The punched guard immediately pulls out his sword and commands Hans to stop.
P.G. (Punched Guard): Drop the sword lad. You don't want to make things any worse for yourself than they already are!
Hans roughly picks up the fallen guard by the scruff of the neck and holds him at sword point, giving P.G. his reply.
Hans: Things can't get any worse for me, but they can get worse for your friend here if you don't drop your sword, understand?
Seeing that Hans is serious, P.G. has no choice but to surrender. He drops his sword onto the floor with a clang and kicks it out of reach.
F.G. (Fallen Guard): David no!
Hans holds the sword closer to F.G's neck.
Hans: Shut up! Your buddy David just saved your worthless hide. Now both of you get in my cell!
The guard David does as he's told and walks into the cell, followed by F.G. being pushed into it behind him by Hans. Hans slams the cell door shut, locking the guards inside.
David: You'll get caught and then they'll execute you.
Hans: Oh, I doubt both highly. You see, I've already planned all this out, and while chubs over there (he indicates the fallen guard) was down, I not only got his sword, but…(he reaches into his pocket) your keys! Now I'm going to unleash a little chaos.
Hans turns and addresses the prisoners.
Hans: Ladies and Gentlemen of the Southern Isles dungeon, I Prince Hans of the Southern Isles release you! Feel free to wreak havoc on this kingdom and take whatever you please!
All the prisoners cheer as Hans begins unlocking their cells while the two guards are looking on in fear. Now free, the prisoners gather up behind Hans and follow him out of the dungeons, and up to the castle halls. They all split off, doing exactly as their Prince suggested. Stealing and destroying everything they can get their hands on. Soon the screams of servants and royalty alike are heard throughout the palace, sounding like music to Hans's ears. So far, his plan is going very well. The guards are going to be far too busy rounding up all the prisoners to worry about him. Now all he needs to do is get the keys to the treasury and his horse.
He makes his way into the hall leading to the king (his eldest brother) and queen's bedroom. He needs the key on his brother's belt in order to get into the castle treasury. Sighting two guards running down the hall towards him, Hans darts behind a statue. Once they pass, he continues on and comes to the bedroom door. Finding the door locked, Hans kicks it several times before finally breaking it open. There standing to face him are his brother the king and his wife. Both are armed with swords, ready for battle. The belt with the keys is around the kings waist. Hans armed with the guard's sword stands to fight. He doesn't really want to have to fight them, but he'll do what he has too to get what's rightfully his. His share of the family gold and silver…
Hans: Just hand me the keys Edgar. You know as well as I that I'm the better swordsman…
Edgar: Even so little brother, it's two against one.
The queen raises her sword in consent to that statement.
Hans looks from him to her and back again with a smirk.
Hans shrugs: So be it then.
He comes at his brother and the queen, striking like a snake. The husband and wife duo are quick to parry his attack, but Edgar is not as fast as his queen. Hans stabs his brother in his sword arm, causing him to fall back. Enraged by her husband's injury, the queen engages Hans on her own. The two have a fierce battle, the sounds of their clanging swords resounding through the bed chamber. Edgar watches his wife fighting with his brother in horror, and clumsily switches his sword from his injured right arm to his left. He lunges at Hans with his sword raised above his head. In the split second the queen is distracted by her husband's charge, Hans stabs her. The king stops in mid swing, watching his beloved crumble to the floor.
The King: Liliana!
Hans seeing that his brother is distracted, kicks him hard in the stomach. The king falls to the floor sideways with the wind knocked out of him. Hans quickly rips the keys off his brother's belt and runs out the broken door. King Edgar having caught his breath, crawls over to Liliana lying on the other side of the floor. Once he's reached her, he sits up and gently takes her in his uninjured arm. She looks up at him with a slight smile.
King Edgar: Oh thank heaven, you're alive!
Queen Lilianna reaches her hand up to her husband's bearded cheek.
Lilianna: Yes my love. He only nicked me in my side.
Edgar looks angrily out the broken door: I'll kill him for this!
Liliana following her husband's gaze: No, let him go. He'll get what he deserves in the end.
Edgar sighs as he looks back at his wife: I hope you're right.
Liliana still looking out the door: I know I'm right…
Now with his silver, gold, and horse, Hans makes his escape amid the disaster he set lose upon the kingdom. He smiles slyly as he rides off into the breaking dawn.
For the next couple of months, Hans goes on an epic quest. Over land dealing with all kinds of beasts and monsters; then to sea dealing with more monsters and sirens (a siren is a beautiful woman that is said in Greek mythology to lure sailors to their deaths); Hans at last comes to an island. Cutting his way through a dense jungle, he finds an ancient temple built into the side of a volcano. He looks down at a map and sees that he's exactly where he needs to be and smiles in satisfaction. Turning the map, he begins to read. Finished, he rolls the scroll back up and pockets it. Confident, Hans makes his way to the stones in front of the temple. First he goes left to one stone, then forward to another. Leaping to the third stone, he almost misses and the stone next to the third falls away, revealing a chasm full of spears facing upward on fire. Hans gulps and then continues left, right, back, and forward again. With one or two more near misses, Hans makes it to the entrance of the temple. He pulls out the scroll and reads again. Once the scrolls back in his pocket, Hans gets down on all fours and crawls forward into the tunnel, his sword in its sheath clanging along beside him. As he moves over stones, flaming arrows begin to fly above him. Hans has to admit that he finds the reoccurring fire theme of the booby traps to be very creative. At first the tunnel was dark, but now it's beginning to get brighter. He stands up aware of his next challenge, not needing the scroll. Unsheathing his sword, Hans waits in front of an enormous web. Tired of waiting, he reaches out his sword and pokes the web. Suddenly, a massive glowing red spider descends from the ceiling a few feet away. Sword ready, Hans strikes as it reaches the ground. The spider hisses at Hans and issues flames from its fangs. Hans jumps back, but not fast enough. The spider's fire has burnt his left arm. Angered by the pain, Hans dodges another fiery blast, and slices off one of the spider's legs. The spider hissing in rage and pain, lunges forward, spewing more flames. Hans jumps out of the way of the fire and then seeing an opportunity, rolls up underneath the spider and pierces it in the abdomen. The spider hisses in agony and tries to get off Hans's sword, but fails. It struggles until it dies, leaving Hans covered in a burning goo. Pulling his sword out of the dead spider and himself out from underneath it, he shakily stands up. He continues past the corpse feeling as if he's just gotten a severe sunburn. After what seems an eternity, Hans reaches a chamber full of molten hot lava. The heat is intense and the red light is near blinding. Eyes adjusted, Hans scans and finds his quarry. Up on a pillar surrounded by the moat of lava is a golden amulet with a glowing ruby in the center of it. The only way to get to the pillar is a path of stones set in line with it. Burnt, bruised and exhausted, Hans looks at the stones in disbelief and sighs.
Hans: Uh, really? Again?
He proceeds to play the stepping stone game again and now his feet are burning. Cringing, he continues to hop from stone to stone, until finally, he reaches the pillar. He holds his breath as he reaches out and grabs the amulet. At last, here in his hand was the very thing to make him all powerful! Hans puts the gold chain over his neck and proudly wears the amulet. Then suddenly, the amulet begins to glow bright red and Hans feels as if he's being burned much worse than before. He cries out in pain and doubles over as the red glow consumes him. Then, as quickly as it started, it stops. Hans stands up and looks around. He's never felt so alive before! All his pain and exhaustion have vanished! Pointing both hands palm up to the ceiling, he issues forth two enormous flames and laughs in triumph.
Hans: The power of Ever Fire is mine!
Meanwhile in Arendelle:
Anna and Kristoff have been happily married for a little over a year (I'm just going to assume that in Frozen 2 they're getting married), Elsa is the best ruler the kingdom has ever had, and Olaf and Sven are the best of friends. It's a late summer morning and Elsa is relaxing at her favorite spot beneath a huge tree, overlooking the bay. She's sitting on a bench, enjoying some much needed down time when she sees Anna walking up the path towards her. Her first thought is that she has an even bigger smile on her face than usual. She also can't resist the urge to tease her little sister as she approaches…
Elsa: Well look who's up before noon!
Anna with her hands on her hips: Oh ha-ha. Not everybody gets up before dawn like a certain snow queen I know…
Elsa smiles: Guilty. So seriously, what brings you to my office?
Elsa pats the seat next to her and Anna sits.
Anna seriously: I have something very important to tell you…(then unable to contain her excitement) You're going to be an aunt!
Elsa takes a second to process the information: I'm going to be an…. Anna, does that mean you're…?
Anna nods her head up and down: Umm-hum.
Then with a smile as big as Anna's was before, Elsa hugs her.
Elsa: Oh my gosh, I can't believe it!
Anna: Believe it. You're going to be Auntie Elsa… (then when they separate, Anna points her thumb at herself) and I'm going to be Mama.
Elsa: And Kristoff will be Papa. I bet he's super excited.
Anna: Oh my gosh yes! He says he doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl, he's building a little sled for it.
Elsa smiles: Reindeer included?
Anna laughs: Of course! (then on a more serious note) Well come on your highness, we're supposed to go help set up for this festival.
Elsa gives Anna a look like "Aw, do we have too?" Then she stands up and stretches.
Elsa: Alright Mama, let's go.
Then the two sisters head back down towards Arendelle, talking about all things baby. Today was going to be a good day.
The Eddie and Aidan
Captain Eddie Marlow's ship the Sea Stallion is making its way into Arendelle harbor. The crew's carrying out their orders while Eddie's at the wheel with his best friend Prince Aidan beside him. The two men are equally tall and handsome, but where Eddie is thin with blue eyes and blonde hair; Prince Aidan is brawny with green eyes, black hair, and a well-trimmed beard. The two of them are carrying on about their trip over the past couple of months…
Aidan: …and then that night in Sharshalona?
Eddie: Aye, and I'll never forget it! And that Marlena? What a woman!
Aidan nudges Eddie in the ribs: And I'll never forget Lucinda, Clarita, or Isabella!
The two men laugh as Eddie steers the ship into the harbor and begins barking more orders at his men.
Eddie: Alright lads! Hoist the sails and get ready lower the anchor! The tavern awaits!
Aidan looks out over the ship towards Arendelle.
Aidan: Where are we anyway?
Eddie: Arendelle… I think.
Aidan laughs: You think?!
The two men keep laughing as Eddie docks the ship. There awaiting their arrival is Kai, Arendelle's Royal Butler ( he's that one red headed dude at the end of the movie that told the Duke of Weaseltown to fuck off) and his apprentice Jimmy, a tall and scrawny fourteen year old.
Kai to Eddie and Aidan as they step off the ship: Welcome to Arendelle my lords! My apprentice Jimmy and I will be assisting during your stay.
Jimmy gives them a shy smile. Then they each take turns shaking hands.
Eddie: The name's Captain Eddie Marlow.
Aidan: And I'm Prince Aidan of Timberland.
Jimmy's eyes go as wide as Paul's would if he'd just met Shania Twain.
Jimmy to Eddie: You're the Captain Eddie Marlow (then to Aidan) and you're the Prince Aidan of Timberland? The ones that sank the dreaded pirate Reuben Redbeard's ship, and fought the Keelan Cracken off the coast of Regus, and each ate a barrel full Yashaea Peppers and…
Kai clears his throat giving Jimmy a scornful look, even though Aidan and Eddie are enjoying the praises of their escapades over the past few months.
Jimmy sheepishly to Kai: Sorry sir. (then he shakes Eddie and Aidan's hands again) It's an honor to meet you sirs.
Aidan: Thank you Mr. Jimmy. It's an honor to meet you.
Eddie: Aye, without lads like you thinking we're the greatest for doing what we do, what would be the point?
Jimmy smiles as Eddie and Aidan laugh. Kai decides to lighten up and smiles too.
Kai: Would you gentlemen be interested in heading over to our Founder's Day Festival?
Eddie automatically: Nah, me and me men are thirsty.
Kai: Jimmy and I will lead you to the Happy Seagull, it's the best inn in all of Arendelle.
But Aidan's not in a drinking mood.
Aidan: Actually, I'm interested in heading to the festival. (then to Jimmy) Would you be willing to show me the way Mr. Jimmy?
Jimmy looks to Kai for approval and gets the "go ahead" nod. And then they say farewell head their separate ways.
Pig Pie
As Aidan and Jimmy are walking along through the hustle and bustle of the festival, they see Oaken of Oaken's Trading Post and Sauna selling his famous Oaken Cloakens and a sun balm of his own invention. Aidan's kind of interested in the sun balm, but then he spots his favorite dessert at the next table over… pie.
Aidan: Look there Mr. Jimmy, pie!
Jimmy shifts his feet nervously looking at the girl pie table. Aidan looks from Jimmy to the girl and back again with a smile.
Aidan: She's pretty.
Jimmy dejected: Yeah, too pretty. She's not going to be interested in somebody like me…
Aidan: Well not with that attitude she won't! You've got to have some confidence lad!
Jimmy looks up at Aidan questioningly: Confidence?
Aidan: Confidence. Now go talk to her.
Jimmy: Is that an order sir?
Aidan: Aye, now go.
Then Jimmy shakily starts to walk towards the girl, but then stops and turns back looking at Aidan. Aidan smiles an encouraging smile and waves his hands like "go on". James turns back around and keeps heading towards her. She smiles as he walks up because she likes him too. Aidan watches the two of them talk as Anna walks up beside him. She saw the whole thing and thought it was adorable.
Anna: That was really kind of you. He's been sweet on her for… well, ever.
Aidan: Oh, twas nothing. The lad just needed a little encouragement. (then he looks Anna up and down) My goodness, I think heaven has lost an angel!
Anna smiles politely: You're sweet, but I'll have you know I'm very happily married.
Aidan puts his hand to his heart: Aw darlin', you're breaking me heart!
Anna laughs as she curtsies.
Anna: I'm Princess Anna of Arendelle.
Aidan bows: And I'm Prince Aidan of Timberland. Tis a pleasure to meet you me lady.
Anna's eyes go wide like James' did: Wait, you're the Prince Aidan?
Aidan: Aye.
Anna: Oh my gosh! I've got to introduce you to my husband, and my sister, and…
And then a they hear a series of yells coming from up the street. A giant pig is making its way towards them.
Anna gives a yell of fright: PIG!
Aidan steps in front of her as the pig comes barreling closer and then like an agile cat, he pounces. Holding on to the squealing pig's mid-section, Aidan gets dragged right into the pie table, knocking it over. Jimmy and his bae are horrified by the sight of the wasted pie. Aidan and the pig begin to wrestle.
Aidan: Oh… no… you… don't…!
Anna and a crowd begins to gather around watching the spectacle. (Hey, it's not every day you see a prince wrestling a pig in pie.) Then some of the onlookers start cheering Aidan on.
Onlooker 1: You got 'em boy!
Onlooker 2: Now that's what I call pig wrestling!
Meanwhile on the other side of the fairgrounds, Elsa, Olaf (with his own personal flurry), and Kristoff just got done handing out prizes for the ice sculpting competition.
Olaf: My gosh, that wolf that was awesome!
Kristoff nods in agreement as they hear the commotion of the pig pie wrestling match.
Elsa: Whatever it is, it sounds like it's coming from the north side.
Kristoff: And isn't the north side where Anna was…?
Then in unison: Anna!
The three of them race over, finding the crowd. They make their way through it fairly easy thanks to Elsa.
Onlooker: It's the queen! Make way for the queen!
Finally, Elsa, Olaf, and Kristoff reach Anna watching Aidan and the pig wrestle. Kristoff immediately heads over to his wife and looks her up and down with concern.
Kristoff: Are you alright babe?
Anna: I'm fine, (then pointing at Aidan) I think he could use some help though.
Kristoff looks at Aidan: Okay, (then he looks back at Anna) but are you sure you're okay?
Anna: Kristoff, I'm seriously fine. Go help him.
He gives a smiling Anna a kiss on the cheek before he runs off to get some rope.
Meanwhile, Elsa's stunned by the scene while a heavy set woman yells to Aidan.
Woman: I'll turn him into pork chops for ya handsome!
Aidan breathlessly replies: Sounds good darlin'!
Then a little girl breaks her way through the crowd.
Little Girl: No, please don't eat Petey!
Elsa's annoyed that this is continuing.
Elsa: Can someone please go get something to restrain this pig and end this nonsense?!
Anna walks up to Elsa.
Anna: It's alright Els, Kristoff's on it.
Elsa's look of aggravation disappears as she looks her sister up and down with the same concern as Kristoff had.
Elsa: Are you okay?
Anna: Oh yeah, I'm totally fine.
Elsa: Well thank goodness. Heaven knows we don't want you getting hurt…
Then Kristoff comes back with a rope and throws it to Aidan. Aidan manages to catch it, loop the rope around Petey's neck, and ties it. Now that Petey is leashed, the crowd cheers and the little girl runs up to her beloved pig and gives him a huge hug despite getting covered in pie. Then the little girl looks at Aidan with narrowed eyes…
Little girl: You're not really going to eat him, are you?
The crowd over hearing her laughs, but Aidan gives her a gentle smile.
Aidan: No lass, I wouldn't eat your friend.
The girl smiles at Aidan as she hugs Petey tighter.
Little girl: Good, because he's my very best friend…
Then Elsa walks up. The girl's smile turns into a frown as she stands up to address her. Aidan looks up at Elsa and is thinking "Damn, she's pretty".
Elsa not unkindly to the little girl: So he's your pig?
The girl nervously: Ye… yes your highness. He… he got out because… because…
She breaks off, but Elsa gently prompts her to continue.
Elsa: Go on, it's alright.
The girl: He got out because the lock on his pen broke and my Papa and I tried to catch him, but we couldn't…
Elsa decides it's stupid to be angry over an accident and lets it go! (lol, I had too!)
Elsa shrugs: Hey, these things happen.
Relieved, the girl smiles. Then her father runs up to them.
The father: There you are Sammie! Did you catch him?
The girl: No Papa, (she points to Aidan smiling on the ground patting a snorting Petey) this man did.
The father sighs relieved: Oh thank heaven.
Then he notices who his daughter's standing in front of and bows.
The father: Oh, your highness! I'm so sorry about all this! The lock on the pen broke and…
Elsa interrupts: No need to apologize. Like I was just saying to… Sammie is it? (Sammie nods her head up and down) Like I was saying to Sammie here, these things happen.
Aidan stands up and hands the father Petey's rope. Petey's too tired to struggle.
Sammie pointing an accusing finger at Petey: You're a bad pig Petey.
Petey just snorts as Aidan and Sammie's Pa shake hands.
The father: Thank you very much for catching him young man.
Aidan: Oh, twas no trouble at all.
Sammie's Pa: Well, we'll just be taking Petey home then. Again, I thank you both.
Elsa smiles at the man: Of course, you two (she looks down at Petey) three, have a nice day.
The father: And the same to you your highness.
As the father, daughter, and pig begin to walk away, Sammie looks back, smiles and waves. Both Aidan and Elsa smile and wave back.
Elsa mostly to herself: She's adorable.
Aidan nods in agreement: Aye, she reminds me of me wee niece Marie.
Then Elsa turns and faces him. She's thinking "Hey you, you're a little scruffy looking, but not bad." Aidan smiles at her and though extremely filthy, bows to her with the utmost confidence.
Aidan: Good day me lady, I'm Prince Aidan of Timberland.
Elsa: And I'm Queen Elsa of Arendelle. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Aidan: Oh no your highness, I can assure you that the pleasure is all mine.
Elsa smiles thinking "Jeez, what a flirt". Then she remembers that she's heard his name before, and not in a good way.
Elsa: Wait, did you say Prince Aidan of Timberland?
Aidan smiles: Aye, you've heard of me as well?
Elsa crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow now that she remembers.
Elsa: Yes, I heard that you were supposed to be married a few months ago…
Aidan frowns. He was really hoping she hadn't heard about that, but he also hoped he could plead his case.
Aidan: Aye, I was. But I…
But he doesn't get the chance. Anna, along with Kristoff is yelling to Elsa. They've just gotten finished helping Jimmy and his bae clean up.
Anna: Hey Els!
Elsa turns to face her sister as she walks up with a pie in her hands.
Anna: We managed to save one pie. It's blueberry, your favorite.
Elsa takes the pie: Ooh, thank you.
Anna: You're welcome. (then she turns to Aidan) Hey you! Thanks for saving me from massive pig destruction!
Aidan smiles at Anna: Twas no trouble lovely Anna.
Anna giggles. She loves his accent. Kristoff a little jealous clears his throat.
Anna to Kristoff: Oh babe, I'm sorry. (then to Aidan) Aidan, this is my husband Kristoff, Kristoff this is Prince Aidan.
The two men shake hands.
Aidan: Aye, you're the man who threw me the rope. Thanks for that.
Kristoff: No, thank you for helping Anna.
Aidan: Again, twas no trouble.
Then Olaf waddles up out of nowhere scaring Aidan half to death.
Aidan: Heaven above!
Olaf: Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!
Aidan freaked out: Ha…hi. I'm… I'm Aidan.
Olaf: Hi Aidan! (then he looks up at Elsa) Hey, did you invite Aidan to the ball tonight?
Elsa: Oh no, not yet. (Elsa turns to Aidan) Well Prince Aidan, would you like to come to the ball tonight?
He's pretty sure she thinks he's scum and he doesn't really do balls, but if she'll be there, he'll be there.
Aidan: I'd be delighted your highness. (then he looks down at his muddy/pie covered self) Well ladies, gentleman, and snowman; I think I'm going to go get cleaned up…
They all say their goodbyes and watch Aidan walk off back towards the docks.
Kristoff: He seems like a nice guy… (then he turns to Anna) but I don't like the way he was flirting with you…
Anna nudges him teasingly: Aw, is somebody jealous?
Kristoff crosses his arms with a sour puss: No…
Anna laughs: Yes you are! You're jealous!
Then she leans up and kisses him.
Anna: You know I love you, don't you?
Kristoff smiles down at her: I know you do babe. I love you too.
Elsa smiles fondly at their exchange because they're just so freaking adorable! Then her stomach starts to growl. She hadn't eaten since four that morning. It also doesn't help that she's holding a pie…
Elsa: Well I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready for our picnic.
Olaf: Oooh, me too!
Anna: Yeah, me three. (to Kristoff) What about you, are you hungry?
Kristoff laughs as he pats his stomach: Always!
They all head over and pile into Kristoff's new cart being pulled by Sven. Then they're off to Elsa's favorite spot. They've got plenty of sandwiches and Elsa's blueberry pie for dessert.
Later at the Happy Seagull
Aidan, Eddie, and the crew are sitting around a table enjoying their mugs of ale and beef stroganoff as Aidan is telling them about his match with Petey the pig…
Aidan: … then I got 'em in a choke hold, but the sucker slipped right out of it! Then I grabbed 'em by the waste with me legs and was able to hold on to 'em until Mr. Kristoff threw me the rope. Then I looped it around his neck and tied a quick knot. Done and done.
Crew member: Aye, I bet that was a sight to see!
Crew member 2: I don't think anything could ever compare to that sea beast we saw off the coast of Regus. Yeesh!
All the men laugh at that statement.
Aidan: No, but I did meet a living snowman today. Seems like a nice fellow who goes by the name Olaf.
An old man sitting at the table behind them overhears Aidan talking about Olaf and decides to give his opinion on him, and Elsa.
Old Man: He ain't natural. That queen ain't natural. She's the one that made that thing! Not to mention she froze the whole kingdom a few summers ago! Nearly killed us all!
The guys are all looking at the Old Man curiously as a barmaid wiping down the next table over hearing the old man's rant turns to defend Elsa.
Barmaid: Oh hush up Joe! She fixed it, didn't she? And she's been nothing but good to us ever since!
The old man knowing that this is true, but not willing to admit defeat decides to get up and leave, mumbling as he does so.
Old man: Still ain't natural I tell ya…
The barmaid just shakes her head as she addresses Eddie, Aidan, and the crew.
The barmaid: Don't mind him, he's just a grumpy old man. Sometimes I think he was born that way.
Eddie laughs at that remark and notices how pretty she is.
Eddie: Aye, he probably was! Say uh, what's your name?
The barmaid smiles at Eddie. He is a handsome devil after all.
The barmaid: Nadia.
Then the bar tender yells her very name across the room.
Bartender: Nadia! I don't pay you to stand around talking! Get back to work!
Nadia rolls her eyes out of view of her boss and smiles at Eddie.
Nadia: I'm sorry, I've got to go. Maybe I'll see you again sometime?
Eddie smiles: I'll be here all week darlin'.
Nadia smiles as she walks away hearing the hoots and hollers of the men behind her.
Aidan: Aye, she's a pretty one Eddie.
Eddie: Aye, I think I'm in love.
Aidan: That's what you said the last time…
Eddie: Aye, I know, I know, but I really think it's really real.
Aidan laughs: Really real huh? (then Aidan looks at his pocket watch) Well, I've got to go get ready for a ball.
Eddie almost chokes on his ale.
Eddie: You… go to a ball?
Aidan stands up: Aye, you know I can never say no to a pretty face…
Sisterly Bonding
Now it's almost time for the ball and Anna and Elsa are in their dressing room trying to figure out what to wear. Anna comes out of the closet in a bright red gown. Elsa's sitting in a chair not looking impressed.
Elsa: Eh… I'm not feeling it. Why don't you try something green?
Anna's face lights up at the idea: Ooh, I have the perfect one in mind but… I'd have to borrow your shoes.
Elsa: Go ahead.
Anna runs back into the closet: Great! Thanks sis!
Elsa: Your welcome.
Anna's voice from the closet: Oh ho! What is this?!
Elsa: What?
Anna comes twirling out of the closet in the hugest, ugliest purple dress ever.
Elsa's shocked: Ugh, you can't be serious!
Anna: Of course not! This thing's like a circus tent! Is this yours? Because I know it's not mine!
Elsa begins to recognize it as Anna continues to twirl around.
Elsa: You know what? I think it is mine. Probably some gift from somebody.
Anna: Jeez, did they think you weigh four hundred pounds?
Then she begins to twirl around Elsa's chair.
Anna: My hips are here, oh, now they're there! Oh pardon me good sir, I did not mean to hit you with my enormous derrière!
Elsa is hysterical at this point: Oh my gosh stop! I don't think my ribs can take anymore!
Anna's laughing hard too: Yeah, me either.
She heads back into the closet and within a minute or two, she's yelling out to Elsa.
Anna: I found it and I was totally right, these shoes go great with it!
Elsa: Well come on out and let me see!
Anna steps out of the closet in a beautiful dark green ball gown with matching shoes.
Elsa smiles: It's perfect.
Anna twirls around: I thought so. And, I found the perfect one for you! I left it lying on the bench in there.
Elsa gets up off the chair to let Anna sit.
Elsa skeptically: Okay, I'll go take a look…
Anna: Trust me Els, you're going to love it!
As Elsa enters the closet, Anna decides to ask her what she thinks about Prince Aidan.
Anna: So, that Prince Aidan. Pretty dreamy right?
Elsa's voice from the closet: I guess, but then he looked more like a pirate than a prince to me. Besides, I'm not really interested in a man that runs off on his wedding day.
Anna: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. But do you know who he was supposed to be marrying?
Elsa: No.
Anna: Do you remember Aggie's sister Giselle? (Princess Agatha of Largandorfer is a friend of theirs but her sister Princess Giselle is a bitch.)
Elsa in a disgusted tone: Oh gosh yes, she's an abominable woman!
Anna: Yeah, that's who he was engaged to. And I get the feeling that he only agreed to it because A, his parents made him. Or B, she slipped him a love potion. Knowing her, I want to say B.
Elsa: I wouldn't put it past her, but still…
And then Elsa steps out of the closet, but we the audience don't see her, we just see Anna's reaction.
Anna: Oh my gosh, Elsa, how could you have ever doubted me? You look amazing!
At The Ball…
Fashionably late as always, Aidan steps into the ball room. He's looking very dapper in his forest green suit jacket with all his badges pinned to it and red sash draped across his chest. He's anxiously searching the faces around him, trying to find Elsa. But he can't find her. Instead he spots Anna and Kristoff over in the corner. Anna's looking very pretty in her green gown and Kristoff looks very handsome in his suit and tie, but also very uncomfortable.
Kristoff pulling at his shirt collar: This thing's pinching my neck!
Anna: Then loosen the top button, no one will notice.
He follows his wife's suggestion.
Kristoff: Ah, much better. Thanks babe.
Anna: Your welcome.
She rolls her eyes and then spots Aidan approaching, but she has to do a double take because he doesn't look anything like he had that afternoon…
Anna: Prince Aidan? Is that you?
Aidan smiles: Aye, the one and only lovely Anna!
Anna: My goodness, you look great!
Aidan: Thank you darlin', so do you. (then to Kristoff) And Mr. Kristoff, you're looking pretty sharp as well.
Kristoff: Thanks. Honestly, I wouldn't have recognized you if it weren't for the beard.
Aidan laughs: Aye me friend, the beard is forever!
The three of them laugh as Olaf waddles up looking like a boss in his dark blue bow tie, holding a glass of punch.
Olaf: Hey guys, hey Aidan. (he takes a sip of punch) This punch is amazing and I totally think you should go get some before Sven drinks it all.
Anna looks down questioningly at Olaf: Wait, what do you mean before Sven drinks it all?
Olaf points over the crowd to the refreshment tables to show Sven in a black bow tie, slurping out of the punch bowl. One of the guys watching Sven takes his cup of punch and dumps it in a nearby potted plant. Then Anna turns to Kristoff accusingly.
Anna: You let Sven in?
Kristoff shrugs: Well yeah, I didn't want him to feel left out.
Anna to herself with her hand to her forehead: You have got to be kidding me…
Kristoff getting defensive: No, I'm not kidding. I'm totally serious!
Olaf whispers to Aidan: Come on, this could go on for a while…
As the two them walk off they hear Anna exclaim: How could you say that?! Of course I love Sven! But for Pete's sake Kristoff…!
Aidan is very grateful to Olaf for getting him away from that awkwardness and even more grateful when he sees who he's brought him too. Up by the throne platform is Elsa conversing with some guests. Aidan stops in mid step when he sees her. Sure, he thought she was pretty before, but now he knows for sure that she's the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. Her hair is done up high on her head, her dress is a dark blue, and they're both sparkling. She's a sky full of stars like that Coldplay song… and BAM! Aidan's in love.
Aidan under his breath: She looks like an angel…
Olaf not understanding why Aidan has stopped is concerned.
Olaf: Hey Aidan, are you okay?
Aidan snapping back to reality: Oh, yes Mr. Olaf. I'm better than okay.
He makes his way over to her with Olaf waddling close behind. Elsa sees them coming and can't believe that Aidan is who she thinks he is. He looks so… handsome. Like, really handsome.
Elsa blurts out: Prince Aidan you look wonderful.
Aidan smiles from ear to ear: Thank you your highness, I was just about to say the same thing about you.
Elsa's blushing as she steps closer to him.
Elsa: Thank you.
Then the two of them just stand smiling at each other for a second as Olaf has an epiphany. He's like "Oh my gosh, they like each other!"
Olaf: Hey, you guys should dance. The music's pretty good.
Aidan looks down at Olaf all the more grateful for this snow wingman.
Aidan: That's an excellent idea Mr. Olaf! (then holding out his hand to Elsa) How about it me lady, would you care for a dance?
Elsa hesitates, but finding it hard to say no because Olaf is looking up at her hopefully and Aidan being just too damn sexy to resist, takes his hand.
Elsa: I'd be delighted, but… I don't really know how.
Aidan smiles: That's alright, I'll teach you. Now hold your hand up in mine like this.
She does. They're getting ready to do a classic waltz.
Aidan: Good, now put your other hand on me shoulder (she does) and now I'm going to put me other hand on your waist.
He does and Elsa turns bright red and redder still when he pulls her closer. Aidan can't help but smile at her thinking "Heaven above, she's adorable."
Aidan: Alright darlin', are you ready?
Elsa gulps: As ready as I'll ever be.
Aidan: Well then, here we go…
And then the two of them begin to waltz in view of a big audience. The guests are very surprised to see their queen dancing and so are Anna, Kristoff and Sven who have just made up after their fight. Anna's leaning up against Kristoff who's munching on one of Sven's many carrots brought by Kai.
Anna: You know what? I think they like each other.
Kristoff with a mouthful of carrot: Hey, anything's possible.
Anna holds out her hand and Kristoff gives her the last half of his carrot. She takes a bite as they continue to watch Aidan and Elsa twirl around the dance floor. Over on the dance floor, Aidan is praising Elsa on her dance skills.
Aidan: And I thought you said you didn't know how to dance.
Elsa smiles: I didn't, but now I do thanks to you.
Aidan gives her a mischievous smirk: How about we kick it up a notch then?
Elsa confused watches Aidan walk over the orchestra conductor. As they converse, the conductor nods his head up and down excitedly. Then Aidan heads back over to Elsa.
Aidan: Alright love, are you ready?
Elsa raises an eyebrow: Ready for what?
Aidan: You'll see.
Then orchestra begins to play Aidan's request, the famous Timberland Tree Cutter's Reel (It's like the stereotypical Irish Washerwoman/ 1920's jitterbug). It's an upbeat song and Aidan immediately begins to tap his feet. Elsa's looking at him like "Dude, your freaking nuts."
Elsa: Aidan, I can't dance to this.
Aidan: Sure you can.
He takes her by both hands and they begin to sway to the beat. The crowd begins to clap as the two of them start to boogie. Elsa's laughing. This wasn't so hard. She also can't believe she's doing such a crazy dance with such a handsome stranger. Being the happiest she's ever been in her life, a snow sun shower begins to fall in the ball room. Of course Elsa and Aidan don't notice, they're having too much fun. Everybody else is staring in amazement because it's so beautiful.
Kristoff to Anna: So this is happy snow?
Anna: Of course! Look at the two of them!
Sven is catching falling flakes on his tongue as Olaf waddles over looking very proud of himself.
Olaf: Yup, I'm a love expert.
Anna and Kristoff laugh while back on the dancefloor, Aidan dips Elsa as the song ends. She's laughing so hard, she's afraid her ribs will break. Then she looks into Aidan's dark green eyes and… BAM! She's in love. The two of them stand up still holding hands, and bow to the applauding crowd as the snow sun shower stops.
Aidan out of breath to Elsa: That was some mighty fine dancing for a beginner.
Elsa just as breathless: Thank you, you're a good teacher.
Then the orchestra begins to play another song and Aidan smiles at Elsa.
Aidan: Would you like to dance some more?
Elsa smiles: Without a doubt.
And then they dance all night while about a week away, Hans is sailing towards them in a very nasty storm. He's grown a thick red beard and has a fresh scar on his left cheek. He looks like a fiend from hell thanks to the magic of the amulet. But the scariest thing of all are his eyes. Once they were a dreamy shade of light green. Now they were an alarming shade of bright red. He's smiling to himself despite having to deal with the storm. He's so close to victory, he can taste it.
Aidan the Haggis
The next couple of days after the ball, Elsa and Aidan are inseparable. Both are early risers, so one morning they have breakfast together at Elsa's favorite little café. There they discover that they both love all things blueberry flavored.
Elsa to the waiter: I'll have the blueberry cheese Danish
Aidan to the waiter: And I'll have the same.
Aidan smiles at Elsa as the waiter walks away.
Aidan: Aye, I love me some blueberry cheese Danish.
Elsa smiles back: Me too. And blueberry pie.
Aidan: And blueberry muffins…
They both laugh unable to believe they have so much in common as they finish each other's sandwiches…Sorry, I mean sentences.
Another day, they're racing each other on horseback through the forest. They're neck and neck, but Aidan too busy watching Elsa laugh and not paying attention to the path ahead, gets knocked off his horse by a low hanging tree branch. He falls to the ground with a thud and a hurumph as he gets the wind knocked out of him. His horse turns and whinny's at him as if laughing. Elsa realizing that Aidan and his horse aren't there, slows down her horse and turns him around. Then she hops down off him and kneels beside Aidan when she finds him.
Elsa: Oh my gosh, are you okay?
Aidan smiles up at her: Oh, I'm better than okay darlin'.
Elsa smiles back down at him: Even so, I don't think we should race anymore.
Aidan sitting up: No, at least not today.
The next day, they're walking along the beach hand in hand. This is when Aidan decides to plead his case about Giselle. He stops and lets go of her hand. She turns to face him, seeing he's upset about something.
Elsa: Aidan, what's wrong?
Aidan takes a deep breath: Elsa, I want you to know why I ran off that day.
Elsa thinks for a minute trying to remember what the hell he's talking about. Then she remembers. She'd been having so much fun with him the past few days that she forgot all about him being a runaway groom. Elsa has to admit that she's a little afraid to find out the answer…
Elsa: Okay, go ahead.
Aidan: Well, the easiest way for me to put it is this… One night I met Giselle at a friend's party. I could tell she liked me, but I wasn't interested in her. Then for whatever reason, she handed me a cup of ale and I drank it. After that, I don't remember anything except for waking up one morning to the sound of me father banging on me door, telling me I had to get ready. I say to him "Ready for what?" He said "You're wedding you haggis!"
Elsa's watching his face intently. There was no way he could be lying.
Aidan continues: So I jumped out of bed and yelled to him "Me wedding?! Who the blazes am I gettin' married too?!" Then me brother answers "To Giselle, who else?!" That's when I panicked and jumped out me window. Luckily I landed in a cart of hay and then I ran to find Eddie. Then we set sail and the rest is history.
Elsa's thinking back to what Anna hypothesized in their dressing room.
Elsa to herself: So it was B…
Aidan's looking at her hopefully.
Aidan: Do you believe me?
Elsa looks up at him coming out of her thoughts and smiles.
Elsa: Yes Aidan, I believe you.
Then Aidan so relieved and happy gives a whoop of delight.
Aidan: Aw, thank heaven! I don't care if anybody else believes me so long as you do!
Elsa's touched that he wants her to think highly of him so badly. Then she gives him a mischievous smirk and starts to run away from him down the beach. He yells after her.
Aidan: Hey, where are you going?!
Elsa turns around and yells back: You said you wanted to race again, didn't you?!
Aidan shakes his head in mock disgust as he yells back to her: Aye! But not with a cheater!
She sticks her tongue out at him and then keeps running. Then he starts to run after her, but she's really freaking fast. That's why she got up to the North Mountain in one night.
Then one night, Aidan does something stupid. They're walking along the path to Elsa's favorite spot, talking about their beach foot race…
Aidan: Aye, they should call you Lighting.
Elsa nudges him the elbow teasingly: Hey, it's not my fault if you're out of shape…
Aidan in mock anger: Aye, now you've done it! I'm going to get you for that!
She runs up the path laughing with him following far behind. Elsa's already sitting on the bench by the time he gets there. She's laughing as he's walking over to her.
Aidan breathless: Alright darlin', you may be right about me being out of shape. (then he crosses his arms) But, I bet you can't eat a whole barrel of Yashaea Peppers…
Elsa looks up at him with a smirk: Good heavens, why would any sane person want too?
Aidan laughs: Ooh, first you're calling me fat. Now you're calling me crazy! I'm really going to get you now!
And then he does the stupid thing. He tries to kiss Elsa, but Elsa's not ready. She slaps him hard across the face with an icy hand. Aidan jumps back like "Ow, what the fuck?!" Elsa's still sitting on the bench looking at the frosty hand she slapped him with in disbelief. But she's not sorry. At least not about the slap part. The ice part? Yeah. But how dare he do that? They hardly knew each other! She stands up angrily and glares at Aidan rubbing his swelling cheek.
Elsa: Prince Aidan Lavelle of Timberland, you're a cad just like a thought you were and I wish you'd never come here!
Then she storms off down the path, leaving Aidan looking shamefaced. Aidan sits down on the bench where she'd just been sitting and sighs to himself.
Aidan: Aye Aidan, you really are a haggis.
Then he rests his face in his hands forgetting about his jacked up cheek, thus causing major pain to ensue.
Meanwhile, Elsa's walking back towards the castle in despair being bombarded by all kinds of negative thoughts…" Did he really deserve that?" "Of course he did." "I mean, who does he think I am? Some tavern girl?" "But then I kind of wanted him to kiss me, didn't I?" "Sure, but not so soon." "I'm not ready." "But why am I not ready?" "Because I'm afraid." "But now I have every reason to be afraid after what I've just done, right?" "I mean, I could have broken his jaw or worse." "No, I've done the right thing by breaking it off before it went too far." "But then why do I feel so awful…?" And they just keep circling around and around in her head all night…
The next morning while they're eating breakfast, Anna notices that Elsa looks terrible. Her eyes are puffy and she wasn't eating anything. She gives Kristoff a worried look from across the table. Olaf noticed too and is looking just as concerned. Sven just looks at Elsa sadly while continuing to eat. After breakfast, Anna follows Elsa to her study. Elsa's sitting at her desk appearing to be going over some papers. Anna knocks on the door outside and hears a very subdued "Come in." from Elsa. Anna comes in and sits in one of the chairs in front of Elsa's desk.
Anna: Elsa, what's wrong?
Elsa still looking at the papers: Nothing. I'm fine.
Anna: No, you're not fine. You look awful.
Elsa looks up pleadingly: Anna please, I know I promised I'd never shut you out again but….(she holds back a sob) please, just leave me alone for a while, alright?
Anna hating to see her sister like this gets up out of the chair.
Anna: Alright, but if you want to talk later, I'll listen.
Elsa gives her a slight smile: I know Anna, thank you.
Anna gives her a slight sad smile back as she leaves the study. As she closes the door, she hears Elsa start crying on the other side.
Later that night, Aidan's on his sixth pint of ale at the Happy Seagull. His cheek is still pretty red from the icy slap, but that's not the pain that's bothering him. Eddie and the guys worried about their friend had hoped that the drinks might help, but if anything, Aidan just looked worse.
Crew Member Smitty to Eddie: I think you'd better go talk to 'em captain. I ain't never seen a man so depressed.
Eddie: Aye Smitty, I think you're right.
Eddie heads over and sits by Aidan at the bar.
Eddie: Hey buddy, how are you holdin' up?
Aidan sarcastically: Oh just dandy Eddie! The first woman I ever really loved thinks I'm a cad and wishes I'd never come here!
Then he orders another pint of ale from Nadia who gives Eddie a worried look.
Eddie: Aidan, don't you think you've had enough?
Aidan's an angry drunk.
Aidan: No, I bloody well haven't had enough! I can never have enough! Now leave me alone!
Eddie stands up and backs off: Alright, I'll leave you alone…
Aidan just takes another sip of ale as Eddie heads back over to Smitty and the guys.
Eddie: Aye, there's no talkin' to 'em.
Then after a few more pints of ale, Aidan like all drunken love crazed men decide it's a good idea to yell under his beloved's window in the middle of the night…
Aidan: ELSA! ELSA, I'M SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I LO…!
But it's not Elsa's window he's yelling under, it's Anna and Kristoff's.
Kristoff angrily opens the shutters: WOULD YOU SHUT UP?!
Aidan shuts up and Kristoff continues: First off, you've got the wrong window! Second, you've obviously had one too many, and finally, she doesn't want to see you! Now get lost!
Kristoff watches Aidan stumble off with his head down before noticing an ominous red glow in the distance. Filled with dread, he heads over to wake Anna, who despite all the yelling, is still asleep…
Kristoff: Anna, Anna wake up!
Anna still half asleep: Wh…what for?
Kristoff: I think there's a fire down at the docks.
Now she's awake.
Anna: Really?
Kristoff: Yeah, come take a look…
Anna gets out of bed and heads over to the window with Kristoff. Sure enough, all the ships in the harbor are on fire and now the fire is getting steadily closer. Anna's face fills with fear.
Anna: Oh noo… I've got to go wake Elsa.
Kristoff: No, we've got to go wake Elsa. I don't want to get separated.
Anna nods agreement and quickly slipping on some shoes, the two of them race out of their bedroom and down the hall way.
Meanwhile on the other side of the castle, unable to sleep, Elsa's sitting at her windowsill looking out over the other side of Arendelle. Of course she heard Aidan and Kristoff. She's pretty sure the whole castle had… but she was done crying. No, this was her life and it was a good life. Aidan had just been a really nice dream, that's all. She sighs as she turns to go back to bed, but then catches a whiff of smoke.
Elsa to herself: Did I leave a candle burning?
But no, it wasn't coming from inside, it was coming from outside. She turns back to the window. Looking out, she gasps in a combination of horror and rage at what she sees…
The King of Chaos
Hans is down in town shooting flames out of his fingertips like a cowboy shooting bullets from a gun. Men, women, children, and animals alike are running and screaming everywhere, trying to get away. Some of the men and women, including Eddie, his crew, Nadia and the bartender are telling everybody to head for the hills and start trying to put out the fires. But try as they may, bucket after bucket of water, the fires won't go out. A building or a cart will burn out completely, but then regenerate and burn again. Needless to say, everyone's really freaked out by this. Old Man Joe "kindly" points out to them what's going on…
Old Man Joe: This is Ever Fire you fools! Run, run for your lives!
Then he runs faster than any of them thought possible, and bartender drops his bucket and does the same. Eddie, Nadia, and the crew drop their buckets too, but don't leave. Eddie's hell bent on finding Aidan.
Eddie to Nadia: I ain't leaving here without him.
Nadia: I'll help you look.
Eddie: No, you go with me men, it's too dangerous.
Smitty: No captain, we'll be helping you too.
All the other men nod in agreement. Eddie and Aidan were more than just their commanding officers, they were their friends.
Eddie: Aye, alright. Come on, let's split up and quickly! This fire's spreading like the dickens!
They all head off in pairs in separate directions looking for the dumb, drunk fuck.
Eddie: AIDAN! WHERE ARE YOU?!
He's sleeping soundly where he passed out in the garden.
Hans keeps laughing as he sets more stuff on fire. Now he's at the gates. The guards there are shaking badly because he's scary as hell, but they still try to block him.
Guard: You… you're not… not getting into this castle sir!
Guard 2: Yeah! Turn around and go back where ever you came from …you… you monster!
Hans with an evil grimace picks the two of them up by their necks burning them, and tosses them aside. They crash to the earth and remain where they landed having been knocked unconscious. Then Hans sets the gates on fire and kicks them open.
Meanwhile in the castle, Elsa bursts into Olaf's room. Like Anna, he's a sound sleeper.
Elsa: OLAF! WAKE UP!
He rolls over and looks at her with half closed eyes.
Olaf: Why? Is it my birthday?
Elsa: No Olaf, we're in trouble. Hans is attacking the kingdom. I need you to get up and go find Anna and Kristoff.
Now he's sitting up, wiping his eyes.
Olaf: Okay.
Elsa: Then you need to leave with them, alright?
Olaf: But what about you? Aren't you coming with me?
Elsa: No.
Then Olaf hops off the bed and gives Elsa a stern look.
Olaf: But why?
Elsa: Because Hans is doing this with some kind of magic and I think I'm the only one who has a chance of stopping him…
Olaf seeing that Elsa's not going to back down gives her a respect nod.
Olaf: Alright, but promise me you'll be okay.
Elsa: I promise.
Then Olaf proceeds to give her legs a hug.
Olaf: Elsa, I just want you to know that I love you very much.
Elsa bends down and hugs him back.
Elsa: I know Olaf, I love you very much too.
Then as she watches him waddle out the door, he turns back and gives her an encouraging smile with two twig thumbs up. She gives him a smile and two thumbs up back. Oh, how she loves the little guy! Then as he leaves, she runs out of the room in the opposite direction, bumping in to Kai. Jimmy's not far behind him. His young face is full of fear.
Kai: Oh your highness, I'm sorry!
Elsa: No need for apologies Kai. Right now, I need information. Have all of the citizens been evacuated?
Kai: Yes your highness, as far as I know, everyone has gotten away safely.
Elsa breathes a sigh of relief: Oh, thank heaven…(then angry) where's Hans?
Kai: I don't know your highness. You…you're not going after him are you?
Elsa: Oh yes Kai, I'm going after him. Now you and Jimmy need to get out of here.
Worried, Kai hesitates. He loves both Elsa and Anna as if they were his own daughters.
Elsa not unkindly: That's an order Kai.
Kai takes her hand in his: Just please take care of yourself ma'am.
Elsa smiles at him reassuringly: Don't worry Kai, I will. Now please go.
Kai does as he's told, and he and Jimmy grab other servants on the way out.
The fire throughout the castle is getting worse as Elsa runs towards the sound of Hans' mad laughter.
Hans: ANNA, I'M HOME! HEY ELSA, COME OUT, OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Hans is in lower part of the castle is burning everything in sight. He burns all the portraits in the royal portrait room and really gets a laugh when he sees Anna and Kristoff's wedding portrait.
Hans: She married him? Good heavens, why?
After he burns that, he proceeds to burn Anna and Elsa's parents' portraits and since it's Ever Fire he's burning them all with, they just keep burning over and over. Then he makes his way to the ball room, laughing to himself as he does…
Hans: Man, this place really needs to be redecorated. Good thing I've already gotten started…
Upstairs, Anna and Kristoff are halfway towards Elsa's room when they run into Olaf. The smoke is getting hella bad now, so they're hacking their brains out.
Anna: Olaf! Did you…(she starts coughing really bad) did you see Elsa?
Olaf unaffected by the smoke: Yeah, she told me to find you guys and get out of here.
Kristoff coughing: But… what about her?
Olaf: She says she's going to stay and fight Hans…
Anna interrupts through a cough: Fight Hans?! By herself?! I don't think so, (she starts to walk off) come on you guys, we've… we've got to go help her…
Kristoff: Anna no! Believe me when I say I want to help too, but… but it's not just us we have to think about anymore…
Anna stops and absentmindedly places her hands on her stomach.
Anna sighs: Uh, you're right. We're going to have to sit this one out…
Olaf puts a reassuring twig on her knee: Don't worry Anna, she promised me that she'd be okay.
Anna looks down at Olaf with a slight smile: Well if she promised you that, then I know she will be… Elsa doesn't break promises…
Then they all turn around as they hear a thunderous roar coming from down the hall. The fire has spread to their level.
Kristoff: We've got to get out of here now!
Anna: Follow me, I know a way that will take us right outside to the stables.
Kristoff: Good, we've got to get Sven…
Then the three of them run off down the hall with the fire not far behind...
The Battle
Down stairs, Elsa steps into the ball room. Hans is sitting up on the throne, waiting for her with an evil smile.
Hans: So you did decide to come out and play! Where's your little sister? I was really hoping to play with her too...
Elsa's not giving in to his jeering, she's going to let him make the first move.
Hans: Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's rude not to answer someone's question?
When she still doesn't answer him, he gets angry and shoots a fireball at her. Ready for him, she blocks it with an ice shield. Then he stands up and shoots a couple more at her, but she blocks them again. Then she shoots a couple of ice spikes at him and cuts his arm. Hans is furious. She was proving to be a formidable foe. It seems as if her ice magic is a perfect combatant to his fire magic. Then he decides to do what he does best, sword fight. Hans conjures a sword made of fire and stepping down off the throne platform, points it at her.
Hans: How about we settle this by sword?
Elsa replaces her shield with a sword of ice. What Hans doesn't know is that she's an excellent swordswoman (Hey, you can't rely on magic for everything). Sword ready, she steps up to him. Hans smiles to himself thinking "Ha, this bitch is so dead…"
Meanwhile in the palace garden, Aidan smelling the smoke of all the burning buildings wakes up out of his drunken coma.
Aidan: What in the golden green hills of Timberland is that smell?!
Seeing the castle on fire, his immediate thought is Elsa. He gets up and runs through the garden, the burning gates, and into the castle.
Haven gotten Sven hitched to the cart and all the horses free, Kristoff, Anna, and Olaf are riding through town on their way to the evacuation sight. They've also picked up Sammie, her family, and Petey the pig. The heat of the never ending fire is so intense, that they can't stand it. Neither can Eddie, Nadia, and the guys…
Nadia: I'm so sorry Eddie, but we've got to leave or we'll die.
Eddie depressed: Aye, you're right lass. Come on boys (then he sees the cart coming from up the street) Look there! Let's hitch a ride. (yelling up the street and waving his arms) Hey! Can you give us a lift?!
Kristoff seeing him tells Sven to stop and then Eddie, Nadia and the crew hop into the wagon.
Eddie: Thanks Mr.
Kristoff: No problem.
And then Sven starts to jet, pulling them all away to the safety of the hills.
In the ball room, Elsa's holding her own against Hans. She's blocking ever swipe he makes and just sliced his right cheek open. Now Hans is really angry. Why was killing her proving to be so difficult? Being a diabolical douche, he decides to cheat and burns Elsa's arm with his free hand. She falls back yelling out in pain.
Aidan running through the castle hears her yell and follows the sound.
Hans burns her again in the same spot, this time causing her to scream. She's never felt pain so bad in her life. Hans is laughing as she crumples to the floor, dropping her ice sword. Elsa's looking up at him with pure hate as he's standing over her with his fire sword above his head, ready to strike the final blow…
Hans: And now you die…
Then Aidan bursts into the ballroom and assessing the scene very quickly, he runs at Hans head first. Hans turns his head like "What the fuck…" too slow. Before he knows it, Aidan head butts him in his right side, sending both men flying and rolling across floor. On impact, Hans dropped his fire sword so close to Elsa, that it could have singed her. She's also like "What the fuck just happened?" when she looks over to see the two men wrestling. She watches in terror when she realizes who Hans is struggling with. But the struggle doesn't last for long. Hans places his hand over Aidan's heart and then, he sets it on Ever Fire. Aidan's cry of agony is heard by all the citizens of Arendelle up in the hills and it's pounding in Elsa's head…
Elsa: AIDAN! NOOOO!
Hearing her shout, Hans stands up and smiles cruelly at Elsa.
Hans: Aw, is he your boyfriend? Wow, I've got to say you girls really know how to pick 'em. I mean, one's married to an ice harvester and the other is in love with a moron…
Elsa loses it. Ignoring the pain in her arm, she starts blasting icicles so fast, Hans only just manages to block them. Then she creates a new ice blade and comes running at him. She was going to kill this son of a bitch even if she ended up dying with him. Hans accepting her challenge also creates a new sword and then another epic duel of fire and ice begins. On the floor, Aidan's heart keeps burning over and over, but he can't die. It's a fate worse than death. Elsa fueled by pure rage is hacking away at Hans. He's fast, but not as fast as her. Before Hans decides to cheat again, Elsa rakes her sword across his chest, and cuts the amulet's chain that was dangling outside of his shirt. As the amulet falls to the floor, Hans doesn't take his eyes off it, and looks as if his hearts been ripped out. Elsa realizing that this ugly ass amulet was what was giving him the power, looks into his pain stricken eyes and with a smile that's as cruel as his was before, she stamps down on it with her heal, hard. The ruby in the center of the amulet breaks in half and issues forth a glowing, red goo. Elsa steps back as the red goo engulfs Hans. He screams worse than Aidan is as the goo completely covers him. Then a light so bright emanates from the goo covering Hans, that Elsa has to shield her eyes…
As this is happening in the castle, everyone watching the kingdom burn suddenly aren't watching it burn anymore. All the fires have gone completely out. Now it's dawn, and they can see that everything looks as if it never happened. Then they all begin to rejoice. Kai starts to sing the Arendelle national anthem, getting other people to join in. Anna and Kristoff hug and kiss, then they each hug Sven. Nadia and Eddie start making out to the hoots and hollers of the crew. Jimmy and his girlfriend hug while being glared at by their parents. And Olaf's jumping for joy.
Olaf: I knew she wouldn't break her promise!
Then Eddie comes out of his lip lock with Nadia, looking hella depressed.
Eddie: Aye, but what about poor Aidan…?
Aidan's not doing so good. He's over on the floor gasping for air while Elsa's staring in shock at the new stone statue of Hans. Hearing Aidan's ragged breathing, Elsa runs over and kneels beside him. There's a burning hand mark on his chest that's slowly beginning to fade, but he still looks like total shit. Elsa takes him in her arms and begins to cry. She never knew she could love someone so much, so soon, and now possibly lose them just as fast…
Elsa: Oh Aidan. I'm so sorry I pushed you away… you didn't do anything wrong. I did by pushing you away. And now…now…
Aidan weakly: …and now you're going to let me kiss you this time, right love?
Elsa jumps in shock: Aidan! You…how?!
Aidan smiles as he slowly sits up.
Aidan: Because I love you Elsa. Literally, with all me aching heart…
Elsa smiles: And I love you just the same…
And then they share a very passionate kiss causing another sun snow shower in the ball room, covering them and statue Hans in fresh powder (snow)…
Later that day, Arendelle has the biggest celebration it's ever had. It's like the Summer Festival all over again, but ten times better. Aidan's mad because he can't go party with everyone else surrounding him. The royal doctor's telling him he's got to stay in bed for about a week. Elsa with her bandaged arm is sitting beside him, holding his hand.
The Doctor: …you're the luckiest man I've ever met, but I wouldn't push it if I were you…
Aidan: Aye, I won't.
The Doctor: Good… (then he addresses everybody in the room) Alright, everyone say goodbye and get out! This man needs rest! (then he turns to Elsa with an apologetic smile) Well, except for you your highness, you're free to do as you please…
Elsa gives him a smile back as he turns to leave. Eddie comes over and he and Aidan fist bump.
Eddie smiling: I'm glad you're alright you haggis.
Aidan smiles too: Aye, so am I.
As Eddie smiles at Elsa and she smiles back, he now knows why Aidan was so crazy about her. He wraps his arm around Nadia, and the crew saying their goodbyes to Aidan, follow them out. Then Kristoff, Anna, and Olaf come over. Anna's beaming from ear to ear. She's so happy for Elsa and Aidan that she can't contain it…
Anna: I'm so glad you guys made up!
Elsa and Aidan in unison: So am I!
Olaf: Me too!
Kristoff: Me five! This means you won't be yelling under my window at night anymore!
They all laugh, just so happy to be together. Then Kristoff, Anna, and Olaf say their goodbyes and head out the door. Anna smiles a "I told you never say never" smile at Elsa as she's closing the door and Elsa smiles a "Yeah, I know smile back". Once the door closes,Aidan looks hopefully at Elsa.
Aidan: Well darlin', now that we're alone we could…
Elsa blushes as she interrupts: Do nothing! I'm not one of your tavern girls Aidan Lavelle!
He starts cracking the fuck up as she crosses her arms and gives him a dirty look.
Elsa: And just what is so funny?
Aidan: All I was going to say is that we could take a nap! (then he winks at her) Besides, you heard the doctor, I've got to take it easy for a while…
Elsa laughs embarrassed: Oh jeez…! (then she clears her throat) I'm sorry, yes, a nap sounds wonderful…
She kicks off her shoes and climbs onto the bed, lying her head on his chest as he wraps her in his arms. She listens to his pounding heart for a minute or two before she hears his breathing get heavy as he falls asleep. To Elsa, both sounds combined are like a beautiful song, just for her. Then she closes her eyes and falls into a peaceful sleep…
Meanwhile, down in the ballroom, they're all trying to decide what to do with Hans the statue. (The amulet just got chucked with the rest of the trash.) Eddie suggests they turn him into a side show and Kristoff agrees. Kai, Nadia and Anna are shaking their heads, hating the idea. (Hey, even a dead diabolical douche deserves a little respect…)
Eddie: …how much do you think people would pay to see an idiot that cursed himself with a medallion?
Kristoff thinking: I don't know, maybe three shillings?
Anna and Nadia just look at each other like "Seriously…?" Then Anna speaks up.
Anna: How about none since I think we should let his family decide what happens to him…?
Eddie and Kristoff look at the girls and Kai shame faced.
Eddie: Aye, you're right Mrs. Kristoff…
Kristoff: Yeah, sorry babe…
So they put Hans in storage and write a letter to King Edgar telling what Hans had done and what happened to him. Edgar's reply gets back to them a few weeks later, telling them to just dump him in the ocean, and that Hans had been dead to him since the night of his betrayal…
One Year Later…
Today is the day of Elsa and Aidan's wedding. Everyone has been invited, so the church is packed. As they're all listening to the priest drone on and on, Anna the maid of honor is smiling down at Kristoff holding their three month old son Christopher on the bride's side. Little Christopher looks just like Anna and is happily gumming a wooden carrot his Papa made for him. Olaf and the trolls are sitting next to them bursting with joy, while over in the back munching on real carrots are Sven, his new girlfriend, and Petey the pig. Sammie keeps looking back behind her to make sure they're all getting along. Kai and Oaken are sitting next to each other crying and sharing a handkerchief (weddings always make them cry) with Oaken's family beside them. Behind them are Princess Agatha of Largandorfer and her husband Prince Peter sitting next to Jimmy, his girlfriend, and their families.
On the groom's side, Aidan's mother, father, two older brothers and sister are there with all their spouses and children. Aidan's wee niece Marie can't stop smiling. She's so happy for her beloved Uncle Aidie! In the pew behind them is a hella pregnant Nadia sitting next to the crew. She and best man Eddie keep grinning at each other while finally, the priest is getting to the "I Do's".
Priest: Do you Prince Aidan Lavelle of Timberland take Queen Elsa Von Struben of Arendelle to be your lawfully wedded wife?
Aidan's so happy that he could almost die again.
Aidan: I do.
He places a ring on her finger.
Then the priest turns to Elsa: And do you Queen Elsa Von Struben of Arendelle take Prince Aidan Lavelle of Timberland to be your lawfully wedded husband?
It starts to sun snow shower in the church as Elsa looks into Aidan's eyes with her's full of happy tears.
Elsa: I do.
And then she places a ring on his finger.
Priest: Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife… (then he picks up a crown off the alter and places it on Aidan's head) and you King Aidan Lavelle of Arendelle! You may now kiss the bride your highness!
Aidan takes Elsa into his arms and the two of them start kissing with reckless abandon causing Kristoff to shield little Christopher's eyes and little Marie to giggle. Eddie's crew are doing their usual hooting and hollering, while Kai is blowing his nose and passing the handkerchief to Oaken. Olaf and the trolls are hugging each other and everyone else in sight, while Anna's crying fiercely. (Wedding's always make her cry too, especially this one.) Everybody else is cheering and clapping. Then Elsa and Aidan come out of their lip lock, still holding on to each other. Aidan's smiling a big smile down at her.
Aidan: How did I get so lucky?
Elsa's looking up at him with the same big smile.
Elsa: That's funny, I was just wondering the same thing…
Then they kiss again and after that, they live a happy life filled with all the love and laughter they had ever hoped for…
The End
If you actually read this whole thing, thank you!