Disclaimer: I don't own KHR or any of its characters. No money is made from this fic.
This is sort of like the prequel to Unspoken Rule but can be read separately.
The trash surrounding the brat think they understand him. They're all wrong. No one understands the brat like Xanxus. They think they are special, being the brat's guardians but they cannot possibly comprehend the brat's thinking like Xanxus. Xanxus knows all about the brat, from his dame-ness to bullies to the ever absent father. And that is why Xanxus used to loathe the brat from the bottom of his black, rotted heart. Because the brat has a loving mother to counteract the missing father while Xanxus's father isn't even his legitimate, biological father…and his mother is a deranged lunatic.
They presume they know what being useless ensued, bullies and few friends. But they cannot possibly feel the utter loneliness when one has no friends. Even the most disturbed of trash in the brat's famiglia has had friends but the brat is friendless until middle school. Xanxus knows the feeling of rejection for simply being different. No, he is not useless like the brat (Amen to the person who says so) but he is different. He is hated, he disgusts and he repels unlike the brat in all his sparkly glory. The only people to have accepted Xanxus is the Varia, his old man and…the brat. Because deep down in his heart, he knows what Xanxus is feeling when he goes through the shit of rejection.
Moreover, the worst thing is their encouragement on having the brat become Vongola Decimo. Xanxus thinks the lot of them are insane. Sure, the brat's much stronger than he looks, sure, he kicked Xanxus's ass when he was fourteen but that doesn't mean that the brat is ready to lead a famiglia. To that brat, family is everything and in a world where one single mistake of the don can lead to the injury and death of his famiglia, asking that brat to lead with his innocence and pure unerring love is suicidal. It's not that loving family is wrong; it's the innocence that will kill the brat. One day, the brat will make a mistake, he'll snap and Xanxus will be there watching, waiting.
The day the brat finally snaps is when an alliance meeting goes wrong. The brat has sent his faithful right hand man to the meeting in hopes of honing his democratic skills. The bastards turn out to be traitors and that storm scum barely escapes, fatally injured, all other Vongola members with him dead. Pictures of their mutilated bodies are sent to the young boss and coupled with the knowledge that his storm guardian is in a coma, Armageddon breaks loose.
Of course, Xanxus has already heard of the storm's scum condition and knows that is only a matter of time before the brat snaps. So when the young boss does lose it, Xanxus is on the sofa, in the brat's office, asleep. The pure unadulterated rage alone wakes Xanxus up. There is a cracking sound and Xanxus is rather surprised when the brat's desk breaks. Xanxus looks up and the brat calmly walks past him, hate and destruction rolling of him in waves. Idly, Xanxus wonders if he looks half as scary as that when he uses the flames of wrath. He gets up and stretches before following the demon the brat has morphed into. It's not that hard, Xanxus can feel the bloodlust a mile away.
He growls at anyone who attempts to follow him or the demon because Xanxus knows that the brat has got to do this on his own. By the time he has caught up to the monster, he is already killing guard after guard and the traitor's base is stained a beautiful crimson, Xanxus just sits back and watches the show. He watches as throats are torn out, as people are literally burned to death. He watches as people beg and when Tsuna finally kills the last traitor. He melts the man's ribcage and tears out the man's heart, beating and pulsing in his hands until it is just a charred lump in his hands. The blackened, unrecognizable heart dissipates into the wind as ashes and sanity returns to the brat. The brat falls to his knees and he buries his face in his bloodied mittens.
Xanxus huffs in irritation and rolls his eyes. He told them so, one day the brat will snap and there's nothing they can do to return lost innocence. He grabs the brat by the scruff of his neck and begins to drag him away. The brat looks up with teary eyes and a bloodstained face.
"X-Xanxus?"
"No shit brat." Xanxus frowns at the brat's shirt; it is now splotched with red. How is Xanxus supposed to bring him outside like this? Xanxus pulls off his jacket and drapes it over the brat. He picks him up bridal style and gives one last instruction before leaving for home.
"Don't let people see your face." The brat is paralyzed with shock for a moment before heeding Xanxus's command and buries his face into Xanxus's chest, hands clutching the Varia boss's shirt. They arrive at the Vongola mansion in no time and all the brat's guardians and subordinates surround them. He snarls at them all.
"Move the fuck out of my way! Get me some chicken soup trash!" He brushes past them before they can retaliate. He walks to the brat's room and kicks the door open, he shuts it with another kick. Xanxus unceremoniously dumps the brat onto his bed but the brat refuses to let go of his shirt. Xanxus pries the brat's fingers away from his shirt and starts to rummage through his closet. He finds what he is looking for and he turns back to the brat.
"Strip" Brown eyes widen impossibly and fragile fingers pull the jacket closer to a shivering frame. Xanxus growls, the brat makes him feel like a god damned rapist.
"Strip" Reluctantly, bloody clothes and his Varia jacket is shed. Xanxus grabs the brat and throws him into the bathroom.
"Bathe. You'd better not drown yourself in there." There is a moment of silence before Xanxus hears the sound of running water. A few minutes later, someone knocks on the door. Xanxus flings it open and a cowering servant bearing chicken soup is there. He grabs the soup and slams the door in the servant's face before placing the tray onto a table. Moments after, the bathroom door opens and the brat appears stark naked. Xanxus feels the beginnings of a headache, what is he, the brat's mother? Xanxus grabs a towel and faster than he thought possible, he dries the boy and dresses him in pajamas. Xanxus pushes the brat onto the bed, now clear of dirtied clothes, and hands him the bowl of chicken soup.
"Drink." He orders, the brat gives him another wide eyed glance and Xanxus has to physically restrain himself from banging his head on the nearest table.
"Don't make me spoon feed you." This appears to alarm the brat and he starts to drink. Xanxus grabs a chair and sits facing the brat, eyes narrowed. At last, the brat appears to have drunk all the soup and he carefully places it on the bedside table. Awkward silence reigns before the brat breaks it.
"A-ano Xanxus…aren't you…disgusted?"
"By what?"
"My…my loss of control." Xanxus snorts.
"No."
"But-but I destroyed an entire famiglia! I…just killed them! At that moment, I didn't care about their families, I didn't care even when they cried and pleaded…I just wanted to kill them." The brat's lips start to quiver and soon he starts to bawl, great choking sobs wrack his frame and a long keen whine escapes from his throat. Xanxus stares, feeling rather panicked. Sure, he expected a breakdown but this? Xanxus wasn't equipped to deal with this. He is not a comforting person so he does the only thing he can do. He walks over to the brat and whacks him on the head.
"Br—Tsunayoshi. You're the only mafia boss I know who would go on a rampage for the deaths of some low ranked grunts and an injured, not even dead, right hand man. You should be proud."
Xanxus wonders if it is the right thing to say when the brat latches onto him and nearly crushes him with a hug.
"H-how do you deal with it?" Xanxus gnashes his teeth in frustration; he doesn't need to deal with it! He doesn't care about scum like that, trash who betray allies, families, don't deserve to live but he can't possibly tell the brat that so he tells him the next best thing.
"Look, it doesn't matter; sure you get nightmares at night of all the people you killed screaming at you, their families cursing you…" Okay fine, maybe he is more disturbed than he realized.
"But as long as your family forgives you, as long as they understand, sympathize that you're going through some shitty stuff and welcome you back with open arms, as long as it's for family, than it's perfectly fine to lose control once in a while. Once in a while, brat, not all the time. And considering your famiglia worships the ground you walk on, it won't be hard for forgiveness to come…not like me." The last line is unintentional and Xanxus feels rather pissed at himself for letting that slip.
"…so don't beat yourself up about this and don't even think about suicide just because you can't cope. If you ever need something to get you through, then remember this. Family is absolute and it won't do shit for them if you're dead." Xanxus breaks away from the brat's hug and pushes him back onto the bed.
"Get some rest." And Xanxus leaves a slightly scarred, less innocent and very thoughtful Tsuna behind.
He does not see the brat anymore until he is about to return to the Varia headquarters. He is in the foyer when the brat and all his guardians, including the recovered storm, appear. The brat appears less unstable and beams at Xanxus.
"See ya trash." And before Xanxus can turn around to leave, two arms encircle his neck and he can hear shocked gasps. The brat presses his lips to Xanxus's scarred cheek and whispers.
"You're family too." He lets go and Xanxus can feel the rush of blood to his cheeks.
"Tch. Whatever…Tsuna." And he walks away but for once he can't deny the warm that engulfs his heart and spirit. He looks forward to returning to Tsuna. Family shouldn't stay away from each other too long; after all, family is absolute.
~fin~
Hope you enjoyed~