Tamsin knew a thing or two about pain. A dying valkyrie like her, she dealt with pain every day of her life. An angel of death, that's what she was called in most mythos. She was someone who could see death, feel the pain of it, every day.
Every hour.
Every minute.
Every second.
She could literally feel the essence of a poor soul, their torture if they had gone through it, their screams. She could feel everything just by walking into a room. And she dealt with it. Because there was nothing else she could do. She was a valkyrie, it was in the job description.
So, yeah, Tamsin knew a thing or two about pain.
Or, at least, she thought she did.
It had been almost two weeks after the Wanderer had swooped up Dyson, Bo, and Tamsin into his pocket of space. It had been almost two weeks after the Wanderer knew about Tamsin's betrayal, how she went against his will, even after giving her a very clear warning from her dead mentor. Two weeks out in the real world again, yet it still felt just like she was back in that pocket. Back with the Wanderer. Back with the pain.
For her broken fealty, she was to be punished. Punished in the only way the Wanderer knew how.
By torturing her.
By killing her slowly.
By cutting open her throat and letting her bleed to death.
Then by breathing her life force back into her body, something that was completely against the rules, against nature, against her biology... but he was too powerful to care about such petty things.
Over and over, an endless cycle, until the succubus had finally found them. Finally talked her father down, finally pleaded with him to let Tamsin go. And something happened that was so outrageous, so earth shattering, that Tamsin could barely believe it herself.
He had actually listened.
Tamsin didn't know what had happened next. One moment her wrists and ankles were bound by harsh chains that cut deeply into her flesh, the next she was laying on the cold hard floor of the Dal Riata. She was aware slowly how her ripped and torn flesh was bleeding out onto the Dal's clean wooden floors and she wanted to say a quick sorry about the mess, but she couldn't get her tongue to wrap around the words.
Her partner had come over to her quickly and flipped her around onto her back. She had whimpered, despite herself, and she cursed herself for such weakness. She was Tamsin the valkyrie. She had lived and fought in the Trojan War. She had killed men for less than the look of sympathy and warm affection Dyson was looking down at her.
Dyson brought her arms gingerly to lay on her stomach and he looked down at her legs. Hissing in a breath he looked at a startled Trick- the bartender must have been shocked at how the three had gotten there after worrying sick for two weeks- and said, "We need Lauren."
So Lauren had made her way to the Dal quickly, at that time Tamsin didn't know about Lauren's disappearing act on her own free will, and the woman had propped up Tamsin onto the wood panels of the bar, looking over her with soft brown eyes.
The doctor had gingerly grabbed Tamsin's arms, careful not to scratch the ripped flesh of her wrists, and dabbed them with some type of liquid and ointment. Tamsin had to admit, the doctor's grip was kind. Just like her. Kind and soft.
Tamsin's eyes fluttered shut and that was the last thing on her mind.
Kind and soft.
That was the last thing on her mind, however, until she had what could only be considered a nightmare. She was back in the Wanderer's land. Back in those chains more powerful than steel. Back to the torture and pain. She had screamed, over and over again; her, Tamsin, had screamed for her life. She felt the warm liquid running down her arms, her life force, her blood. She felt it cascade downward, into her mouth and suddenly she was choking.
Choking on her own blood.
The Wanderer's mouth opened into a wicked grin and he shouted, "Wake up! Wake up, now!"
Tamsin's eyes flitted open suddenly and she gasped loudly as her body raised up from the surface she was laying on, holding her throat as she coughed.
"Okay, okay, breath. Just breath. Shh, that's right. Drink this for me, please." Lauren. It was the doctor. Tamsin's doc.
Looking her over, Tamsin realized the doctor's hair was a messy assortment around her face. She looked beautiful like that, and then realized she was overheated and sweating. Looking down at the sheets she had slept on, she found them soaked to the mattress. Taking the cup from Lauren's outstretched hand, she gulped down the water greedily.
"Don't drink all of it," Lauren said hastily, as she put out her hands. Tamsin stopped drinking and looked at the doctor, her eyebrow raising in question. "I, um, I need you to take these for me." Lauren held two small pills in her hand towards Tamsin and the valkyrie looked at them as if they were deathly.
"What are they?"
"It's my special blend of antidepressant medicines. Zoloft, Prozac, those types of things. They'll help you, just take them, please."
Tamsin downed the pills as asked and chased them down with the rest of her water. "Thanks, or whatever." The valkyrie averted her eyes when she handed back the cup.
"You're welcome, Tamsin." Lauren turned, a fake smile pulling at her lips, and was about to leave when Tamsin called her name.
"The succubus called me noble, did you know that? After we came back. She said she was sorry for making me go through this. She was sorry that my noble actions caused such pain. Can you believe that?" Tamsin's head shook as she thought of the past. She backtracked a little as she found she used Bo's fae title and not some witty quip she usually did. Putting her hand on her face she looked up at the disheveled human. Her resolve broke. She hated this weakness, hated it, but she still said it, "Can I... tell you about it sometime, doc?"
Lauren's heart constricted in her chest at the question. Tamsin, her rigid Tamsin, was always the tough one, always the strong one, and the fact she was looking so childlike at her with those beautiful, big green eyes, it broke her heart.
"You can talk to me anytime you want," Lauren whispered. She smiled kindly and left the room.
Tamsin was alone again, and she promised herself, she wouldn't sleep the rest of the night. She kept that promise as she lay in bed with Lauren- she wanted to take the couch and leave the human the bed but the doctor wouldn't have it and said they were both adults- and Tamsin couldn't help but stare at the sleeping doctor all that night.
She was beautiful, Tamsin had to admit, as she watched the sleeping doctor. Tamsin smiled as the blonde rolled into Tamsin, closing the space between them instantly, and moaned. She was literally a breath inch away and if Tamsin wanted to- why the hell would she want to- she could have brought down her lips and kissed the doctor.
Tamsin blinked rapidly and turned away from the doctor. She was not going to catch feelings for the doctor. The quick glances they had shared before Tamsin was taken to the other realm, the smiles and familiar nods; they didn't mean anything, or at least, that's what Tamsin told herself. She was only here for the treatments, nothing more. She would be fine and she would be strong as she always was.
Because she was Tamsin the valkyrie. She didn't know anything else.
Pain coursed through her bones. There was nothing but pain and agony. Tamsin tried to scream, tried to yell out a deathly cry for blood, but nothing came from her lips. Her tongue was gone. Her speech was taken from her. The counterweights stretched the hard steel-like material against her skin even harder as it was pushed down again. Further this time. The chains cut into her flesh, her ankles and arms, and she tried to scream with the pain. Tried to show some type of emotion other than her agape mouth. But nothing would resound.
The Wanderer. The Wanderer was there. Smiling that wicked smile as he lifted a rock over his head and threw it into the small wooden slab, making the chains bite deeper into Tamsin's skin. She screamed, or she would, if she had a voice left. Everything that had made her her was gone. Taken by the Wanderer. Taken by Bo's father. Taken because she couldn't follow damn orders.
Her head was down, she was trying to seem as if she was sleeping. Maybe he wouldn't hurt her if she were sleeping.
It worked.
The Wanderer came over and cut the chains binding her. She fell to the ground. She fell hard and fast. But she got back up faster. Screaming that eternal scream, she grabbed the Wanderer's throat. She would kill him. Kill him before he could hurt her again.
She would do it!
"Tamsin, Tamsin it's me! It's Lauren," Lauren Lewis tried to choke out as her throat was held fast by a powerful hand.
There was nothing but pain. Nothing but excruciating, agonizing pain. She had to make it stop, she had to kill the Wanderer. She had to end her torment!
"Tamsin, please. You're hurting me." Lauren tried to gasp for air. The corner of her vision went dark and she knew she was about to lose consciousness when, at the last moment, the grip loosened on her throat. The frail human slid down the wall she had been pinned against and onto the floor. Holding her throat tersely, she looked up at the woman she was trying to help.
The valkyrie was breathing hard, very hard, and she looked down at the hand that had just been holding Lauren's throat. Looking back from it to Lauren, her eyes were uncomprehending.
"I was... I was killing the Wanderer. Where... what the hell..."
Lauren tried to stand and put a hand gently on Tamsin's shoulder. "It's okay, Tamsin, it's okay. Look at me," Lauren said, holding the valkyrie's face to hers. "You didn't mean it. It's okay."
"No, I was killing... him." Tamsin's eyes held the world's sadness as she looked at Lauren. The only woman that had been enough, who had given up her days, to help a poor, dying, incompetent woman like Tamsin.
And Tamsin had been about to kill her.
Shaking her head furiously from side to side, she felt as if she was going to hyperventilate, Tamsin bolted from Lauren's side, down the stairs, and out of the apartment faster than she had ever moved in her life. She had to get away from the helpful human. She had to get away from the already bruising flesh around Lauren's throat. She didn't know where she was going.
Tamsin just had to get out.