DISCLAIMER: THIS IS MEANT TO BE A JOKE! I'M JUST MAKING FUN OF MY PAST SELF!
"My white knight Byakuya-sama! You have fourteen deliveries!" my maid named Touko said to me, interrupting my very important money shower.
"Bring them here immediately," I snapped at the shut-in. She was always intimidated of me. I am Byakuya Togami.
When Touko came back into my money room, which is a room lined with money on both the walls and floor, she was carrying fourteen boxes that looked way too heavy for her. She was a weakling anyway, but even I, the esteemed Byakuya Togami, could carry more than fourteen boxes without breaking a sweat. I don't have time for sweat. I am Byakuya Togami.
I spun around frantically in my chair, which was stuffed with money. I can do whatever the hell I want, because I am Byakuya Togami. Once I ceased spinning around for five minutes and stared at Touko with a stern look on my face, she gulped nervously, almost dropping the fourteen boxes.
"So, Touko, open them, you filthy obscene thing. The day's young," I ordered. She slowly nodded. She was about to nod and obey my orders, but instead, she sneezed.
"Oh dear lord Touko, not now."
"I WANT TO DO YOU, MY WHITE KNIGHT!"
Touko, my incompetent maid, had a habit of turning into a serial killer whenever she fainted or sneezed. But I didn't really care, because I am Byakuya Togami.
Genocider opened the box closest to her feet with her genoscissors, almost tearing apart the contents inside with them. It appeared to be a baby, just a newborn. I don't know how that was possible, however, because of its head of massive hair.
"Impossible…" I muttered, fanning myself with money because I am Byakuya Togami. "That eyesore of an infant looks exactly like Yasuhiro Hagakure! Expose of it!" I ordered Genocider. She happily obliged, tossing the Hagakure clone across the room as if it were a mere football. That was the only useful thing that Genocider could do.
"This must be a fraud! Genocider, open the rest!" I snapped, continuing to spin around in my money-filled chair, my gold chains swinging around my neck as I did so.
Genocider forcefully cut into the other thirteen boxes with her scissors, surprisingly not stabbing anything inside. "They are all children, my white knight!" Genocider informed me, kicking one of the boxes. "Maybe they can watch us MAKE SOME SERIOUS BABIES!"
"This is impossible!" I growled, throwing a bunch of hundred dollar bills on the ground. But there were more where that came from, because I am Byakuya Togami. "Ugh, this is horri-" I stopped once Genocider held up one the baby from the last box she opened. There was something strange about the child that I liked. Maybe it was destined to be an affluent progeny/scion/heir (depends on what version you're playing) like me, because my name is Byakuya Togami.
"Wow, this one is less fucking horrifying than the others!" Genocider exclaimed, holding the child up by its hairs. She tried to sound less horrifying than usual, but it was hard because of the swirling red eyes and freakishly long tongue.
"Well…it wouldn't hurt to keep them for a while. I don't think they will interfere with my money…" I decided, staring at one of the less eye-pleasing children in disgust. Despite being a newborn, it already had fully grown hair. It was in a pointed shape, and the rest of its hair framed its gopher-esque face. "Except for this thing. Genocider, dispose of this thing immediately."
I took one the child that gave me good vibes into my huge mansion-sized room, because I am Byakuya Togami. It had flaming red hair and its arm always positioned in a laid-back manner. It had already grown a beard, despite still being a newborn.
It was the second most wonderful thing I had ever laid eyes on. Not nearly as wonderful as the turd Naegi gave me a while back, but still pretty nice to look at, unlike the two children that I had forced Genocider to chuck across the room. It was unfortunate that I could hear a sneeze all the way from my huge money-lined room, because Genocider was doing a better job at being my maid than she usually did.
"Touko, get the rest of my imbecilic servants. You must construct a crib for this baby that looks eerily similar to Leon Kuwata."
Once Touko and the rest of my servants had finished building the crib for the Leon lookalike, I gingerly placed it into the crib, making sure not to break anything. I don't have time to pay for broken things. I am Byakuya Togami, dammit.
Touko came up to my esteemed room, all of the other disgusting children crawling all over her. "Wh-Where d-do these i-i-idiots g-go?!" she stammered as a baby that looked astoundingly similar to Aoi Asahina tugged at her braids.
"Put them on bags of money or something," I responded, still staring at the Leon child. "After all, I am Byakuya Togami. We have plenty of bags of money."
"O-Of course m-m-m-m-m-m-m-my white knight has m-m-many b-bags of m-m-money…" Touko muttered as she hauled all of the mediocre children into my room, dropping them onto bags of money. She still held one child by its swirly-shaped hair, since I didn't want any more of the money bags to be wasted on the children. "Wh-Wh-What about th-this th-th-th-th-thing?"
"…That thing can sleep on the floor. I don't care about its feelings. I am Byakuya Togami."
Touko, blushing at the sight of me (because I am Byakuya Togami), dropped the baby down on the hard tile floor, its head probably cracking. But there was no need to worry about it. I could buy medical supplies for its injuries with my countless bags of money. My name is Byakuya Togami.
I looked down at all of the disgusting children…except for the one that looked exactly like Leon Kuwata. "Maybe I could hold onto that one for a bit…" I muttered, watching it like I watched my countless bags of money, because I am Byakuya Togami. "I could hide it from the others. It would make a great affluent progeny/scion/heir like me. Huehuehuehuehue."
All of the children looked exactly like people I had known from the past, except in infant form. The ones that Genocider had thrown out the window looked like Hagakure and Yamada, now that I had thought about it. Aside from the Kuwata-esque child, all of the children had their lookalikes- Makoto, Kyoko, Aoi (the one with its head cracked open on the ground), Sayaka, Mukuro, Chihiro, Mondo, Kiyotaka, Taeko, Sakura, and Junko, disregarding the other ones I mentioned before.
Once the sky became darker, all of the disgusting children had drifted into a light sleep. I cringed and gagged at the thought of fourteen children in the esteemed mega-mansion of Byakuya Togami, because that's my name, and how much they would disrupt my important daily events, like money showers. The only one I didn't have to worry about was the Leon child.
Touko's POV
I shivered during the night, thinking about how attractive my white knight is. I mean, imagine making SO MANY BABIES with Byakuya-sama! But I hated to think of those fucking disgusting children getting in the way of me and Byakuya-sama's relationship. He was growing attached to one who looked eerily similar to some red-headed guy I don't remember the name of.
With those filthy obscene things, even more filthy and obscene than me, getting in my way, I had no choice but to take them away from my beloved white knight. What was the point of having fourteen pre-made babies when you could make just as many without having them mailed to you?
If no one else was going to get those creatures away from my white knight, then it had to be me…and there was only one way to do that, unfortunately.
Genocider's POV
MY BEHIND! BYAKUYA-SAMA'S BEHIND! WHEN OUR BEHINDS COLLIDE, WE WILL REACH NEW HEIGHTS! KYEHAHAHAHA!
So I snuck into my good ol' white knights room, wanting to make a bunch of
WONDERFUL BABIES with him! In reality, my mission was to take all of these disgusting babies and give 'em a nice stab in the throat! So why not do that?!
Oh, but Byakuya-sama wouldn't like the sight of a bunch of baby blood in his room, would he? So I had to take the cretins away to my room to rid of them!
I made sure not to wake up my precious white knight. Even though he's five times more attractive when he's all angry, my goal is to make him love me! To be honest, this is the first time I've ever had feelings for someone, but not wanted to kill them... Up until now, whenever I fell for a boy, that boy fell for my scissors!
Anyway, I took all of those disgusting kids and hauled them to my room. They remained in a deep sleep, which was good, cuz when I kill, they've gotta be alive and kickin, if you know what I mean!
I could hear my white knight talking in his sleep, something along the lines of 'Money money money' and 'I am Byakuya Togami'. He's just so fucking adorable when he does shit like that!
After a few minutes of me staring into space and getting distracted, thinking about making babies with my white knight, I could hear him in the hallway talking to himself. "Where the hell is that Kuwata child? …Oy vey…I should go ask my filthy maid if she knows."
I could hear the footsteps of Byakuya-sama approaching my room, but aw well, what can ya do with a man like that? You can't kill him! He's too fucking precious!
I had to hide the children, of course, so I tossed them all into the wall, hoping they would go through and fall to their deaths instead. Hey, even murderous fiends like me wanna keep their rooms a little clean! I'm not all that twisted!
"Touko, you plebeian filth! Where is that Leon Kuwata child?" Byakuya-sama asked in his fucking hot angry voice.
"Not Touko! That's a loser name! Oh, and your Leon kid is right here, my white knight!" I held up the red-headed baby by its weirdly grown-out beard. "I was just gonna rid of it for the both of us! Maybe we could make a baby like this on our own, if ya know what I mean! KYEHAHAHAHA!"
"…Genocider, you horrible maid! I should have never hired you!"
"You frickin' scrib! You never fucking pay me anyways!"
"I don't have money to waste on you. I must spend my time decorating every single square inch of this mega-mansion with it, because I am Byakuya Togami."
"Then what the hell are ya gonna do, my white knight? Wanna just forget this never happened and go make some heated babies?!"
"No. In fact, you deserve the worst punishment that could be given. I have never been this angry in my entire life, you plankton," my white knight said rather calmly, retrieving a knife from his back pants pocket. I wanna be in those pants.
"Whatcha doing, my white knight? Do you agree with me? Are you gonna help me kill all of these children, or what?! Cuz I'm ready for that shit!" I triumphantly held up my genoscissors, ready to crucify any child that got in my way.
"…" My white knight stopped for a second, probably contemplating on what he should do. "…I don't have time for this. I should go be counting money, because my name is Byakuya Togami."
Byakuya-sama walked out of my room, dropping his knife on the floor. That left me with all of those plump and sleepin' babies. Just me, the babies, and my genoscissors…
"Goodnight, babies! Sleep tight, you little bastards! KYEHAHAHAHA!"
Child That Looks Similar to Leon Kuwata's POV
My vision started to get blurry and I blacked out. I could feel the pain of the scissors being stuck into my limbs as I started dying. The last thing I could hear was Genocider's ear-splitting laugh. Then…I was dead.