I know, I know… I'm clinically insane.
Please review! Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling, not me!
The Great Hall became silent as an extraordinarily beautiful Mary Sue- er, I mean girl, strode confidently yet shyly into the hall. All the boy's jaws dropped, because this girl was even prettier than Fleur Delacour.
She had amazing raven black hair that flowed down her back like a river. Her eyes were a sparkling blue, and they changed colour according to her moods. This perfect girl was skinny as a pencil, which is totally hot, never mind the obvious health hazard. And, traditionally, she was American, because like, there are no hot girls in England.
"Hello." She gushed in an American accent. "My name is Lady Christiania Raven Phoenix Annalise Lolita Anastasia Potter Malfoy Dumbledore Prince Black Weasley."
Despite being related to her, Draco, Harry, and Ron drooled, because this girl was OMG TOTALLY HOT and obviously the key to defeating Voldemort. Ginny, Hermione, and Luna looked jealous, because they are soooooooooooooooo ugly.
"Hello, my dear childe. Why are you here?" Dumbledore enquired, his eyes twinkling.
Even though a second ago she was perfectly happy, Lady Christiania Raven Phoenix Annalise Lolita Anastasia Potter Malfoy Dumbledore Prince Black Weasley's eyes filled with tears.
"My mother died when I was three." She sobbed. "My father began coming home and beating me in drunken rages! Then he got married to an evil woman who made me do all the chores!"
It didn't matter that the evil stepmother thing was obviously copied from Cinderella, her story was so horrid and tragic that everyone rushed round her, trying to comfort her.
"Then," she choked, "I was sent here by a magi fairy who wanted me to educate Britain in matters such as IPods, skanky clothing, parties, and celebrities."
Harry looked at Hermione. She looked back. They turned around, determined to carry out their job.
Ridding the world of evil.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" they screamed in unison. Lady Christiania Raven Phoenix Annalise Lolita Anastasia Potter Malfoy Dumbledore Prince Black Weasley fell to the floor, dead.
Then everyone came out of their trances, and continued debating an important issue.
Was Kim Kardashian pregnant?
Looks like the Mary Sue had left her mark after all.