Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Warner Bros or DC Comics characters.
A/N: Ever since I was a kid, Harley Quinn has been one of my favorite cartoon characters. And after seeing "Batman Begins" for the first time, I started to wonder how she could fit into the universe it was set in, especially since The Joker is appearing in "The Dark Knight". This fanfic is a completely redone back-story of Harley Quinn's origin.
Just Laugh
So, you want to know about me, huh? You want to know how I came to be who I am today? You want to hear the story of how a timid geek gets screwed over by life so many times she finally snaps and seeks the comfort of a criminally insane, psychopathic murdering clown, only to become one herself?
Well you're in luck, 'cause I'm feeling chatty today! Mister J, or as I affectionately call him: Puddin', is locked up in the bedroom scribbling down his latest plan to get rid of our little "bat" problem. He never lets me help him come up with a plan. He always says my ideas aren't "funny" or he doesn't "get the joke". So he stays up in the bedroom for hours on end, coming up with a morbidly humorous way of getting rid of his enemy. If it were me, I would just shoot him. Right between the eyes, like Ol' Yeller.
Anyway, whenever he plots his latest scheme, he always leaves me alone, with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me. Which reminds me, I should talk to Mr. J about us getting cable. But I'm getting sidetracked. Now that I have someone to talk to, I can finally tell somebody the best love story in the world. The tale of how my Puddin' and I met! It's a tale of intrigue and whimsy. It's a tale of how Mr. J saved me from a life of mediocrity and depression. It's the tale of how boring old dull-as-dishwater Harleen Quinzel became the adorable, loved-by-all, one and only, Harley Quinn!
Now, if you have to go to the bathroom, I'd say go now. 'Cause this is going to be a loooong story. Filled with cameos by other archfiends of the Dark Knight, and other residents of the fair city of Gotham. Now hush up! I don't like being interrupted. Oh, and save all questions till the end of the story. Questions are only going to slow me down. Now, get comfy, because here it goes!
I don't really know where to start. If you're curious about my childhood, don't be. I grew up in a small town just outside of Gotham with an alcoholic father who ran out on my mom and I when I was just five years old. I don't remember much of him, except that he constantly degraded my mom by insulting her and pushing her around. After he split, I got attached to my mom like a parasite. Not in a bad kind of way, but in the way that I needed her for everything. Things like food, a home, and emotional support. She wanted to be there for me, but in a home with one source of income, she couldn't. She had to pay for my food, my clothes, and my schooling. So she spent a lot of time at work, and I spent a lot of time at home, alone.
It wasn't till I got into my teenage years that my mom began to change. And it wasn't for the better either. Being a woman, she obviously had needs, not just physical, but emotional, too. But when you work over 60 hours a week as a secretary, and you've got a child at home who depends on you for everything, it's pretty hard to attract a guy. Whatever hours she could scrape together to go out, she would hit the few bars we had in our one-horse town. But unfortunately for her, no suitors ever came her way. So, she turned to the one man she knew she could find solace in. A man named Al. Al Cohol.
After Mom became a regular drinker, things changed for the worse. My mom started blaming me for everything. Whenever she was inebriated, I was the cause of my father's departure. When she was tipsy, I was the reason she couldn't find a man to date. Every time she got flat-out drunk, it was my fault for everything wrong in her life. She had gone from this source of love and attention I needed, to being this hateful thing that blamed me for events I had no control over. Eventually she wound up going to work drunk. Can you guess what happened next? If you guessed lost her job, then congratulations! And for bonus points, who's fault did she think it was? Harleen? Is that your final answer? Ding-ding-ding! You absolutely right! It was home sweet home all right.
Getting out of this small town became my prime objective. After the whole "Mom lost her job, so we have no money to pay rent for our apartment" event, we moved in with my mom's sister. My aunt had a two-story house in the center of the town, not far from where we lived previously, so at least I didn't have to change schools. As soon as I moved in, I devoted any time I could to my studies. If I got my GPA high enough, I could go to a good college, and maybe even get a scholarship. My grades were fine, but I wanted to be sure I wouldn't end up like my mother or father. Whenever my friends were out partying, I was at home locked in my room, with my face in a book.
High school was somewhat of a sanctuary for me. It was a place where I could get away from my mom and her problems, and be with the few good friends I had. I wasn't unpopular or anything, I just preferred being in a smaller group. I had a really close kinship with my gang. They had aspirations of going to better places, too.
Before I knew it, it was my senior year, and I realized I needed to pick what I wanted to major in when I was in college. The answer came to me when I signed up for the new "Introduction to Psychology" class the school had just gotten. This class was amazing. I was literally glued to my seat in class as I listened to everything my teacher had to say. It was like this class came to my school specifically for me. It's no surprise that I aced it and was the teacher's star pupil. The class was a godsend, and I finally knew what I wanted to be. A Psychologist.
My psych class made the time pass by incredibly fast. It amazes me how one minute I'm wondering what to do with my life, the next I'm sending in an application for Gotham University. I decided on going to GU because Gotham is a huge city, I'd rarely see my mom, and it had a prestigious psychology department, which I think is because of Arkham Asylum. And my constant studying had paid off, because I got the Wayne Enterprises Scholarship for Academics. It didn't cover the entirety of all my college expenses, but it was damn sure better than having no money and trying to work my way through college.
You can imagine my excitement when I found out I got into Gotham University. To me, my letter of acceptance wasn't just a piece of paper saying I could go to this school; it was a symbol. A symbol that I had the ability to make something of myself. It reassured me that I was going to make it in this world, despite coming from a broken home in a podunk town. The minute I found out I was accepted into Gotham, I was so happy I cried for the first time since my dad left.
I spent the whole summer preparing to leave for the city of Gotham. As a graduation/getting into college present, my aunt got me an apartment not to far from the University's campus. She told me she paid the apartment's landlord 3 month's worth of rent, but that after that I was on my own. I assured her that 3 month's would be fine, because I would have a job to pay for it on my own by then.
Like time always does in my life, it went by fast. Summer was almost up, which meant college was starting soon. I'll always remember the last day I lived with my aunt and mother. Not because it was a milestone occasion, but because of the conversation I had with my mom.
I had just put the last box of my personal items into my car, and I went up to my mother to exchange goodbyes. But this was no 'goodbye', it was the complete opposite. I'll let you in on our last exchange. I seem to recall it going like this.
"So mom," I started to say with a small smile. "Your little girl is about to go off into the big city. Anything you want to say to me?" I really wanted her to say something to me. Throughout the entire summer, I felt she was ignoring me. As it turns out, I was right.
"Yes, Harleen, I actually do have something to say" My mom said with her arms crossed. Her words came out with a strong scent of cheap beer. I bit my lip as soon as my nostrils detected the pungent aroma. Whatever she was about to say, she meant it. She was always honest whenever she had been drinking. Brutally honest.
"W-what is it?" I began to say with a slight stutter. I always stutter whenever I'm scared. And I always get scared around my drunken mom.
"I think it's pathetic what you are doing with your life." She said giving me a cold glare. I was shocked. Pathetic? What in the hell is pathetic about going to a good school and making something of myself? And that wasn't even the worst part of her little rant. "You're just running away to Gotham because you can't confront your problems here." Problems? Was she even aware she was my biggest problem?
"Mom," I said defensively "I'm not running away, I want to go to Gotham U., so I can become a psychologist." My mom snorted at the retort I made.
"A psychologist?" she said sarcastically. "Harleen, if you wanted to study psychiatry, why don't you just go to the community college, instead of some prissy city school you can barely afford?" First of all, psychiatry? I know she was drunk, but come on! Those are two totally different fields. And second of all, at this point she started to raise her voice. It was like she was chastising me for wanting to better myself.
"Mom, p-pl-please" I stutteringly pleaded. "G-gotham is a great school, and it has great opportunities. And I want to go there because..." I wanted to tell her the true reason, but I just couldn't.
"Why Harleen?" Mom belligerently questioned. "Why do you want to leave all your friends, and travel to a place where you know no one?!" My mother's questions pounded into me like hammers. It was like she wanted me to feel bad for doing something good. "Why do you want to abandon the family that loved and supported you, and sacrificed everything for you?! Why Harleen, why?!". I finally couldn't take it anymore. She wanted an answer, by God she got her answer.
"You want to know why, Mom?!" I shouted at her for the first time. "I'm leaving because I want to actually be something! I want to have a good life. I don't want to end up like you. I don't want to have my husband run out on me! I don't want to turn to alcohol to solve all my problems!" It felt good getting all of this off of my chest, but this next sentence is what probably clenched our relationship off for good. "I don't want to end up a bitter old shrew who blames her daughter for everything and uses her for nothing more than an emotional punching bag!"
My mother stood there in silence. After years of talking down to her daughter, you'd think having the roles reversed would be a humbling experience. It wasn't. My mother just shot me that cold glare, and headed toward the door. I tried apologizing, but there was no point. The bridge had been burnt.
"Mom, wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!" I tried pleading as I ran after her. She reached the doorway and turned around.
"But the sentiment is still the same, isn't it Harleen?" She said coldly. "You want to go to Gotham? Fine, go. But know this. I'm not going to be waiting for you." The way she was talking to me now hurt worse than whenever she yelled at me. "You want to make something of yourself, and not end up like me? Then you're on you own. Forever." And with that the door slammed in my face. She did not just close the door to the house. She closed the door of our relationship.
I walked to my car with a sunken heart. My mother had just disowned me. I sat in my car for at least seven minutes before actually starting it. All I wanted was a little space, I didn't want her out of my life. My eyes welled up with tears and they fell like rain down onto my shirt. With watery eyes I looked down on at the shirt. It was one of my favorites. It was red and black with a large checkered pattern. On top of the pattern was the image of a jester's face saying, "Just laugh". A friend had gotten it for me for my 17th birthday, because she said and I quote "You need to laugh more, Harl. It makes you feel better"
"Just laugh". Meh. At that point in my life I thought there were just some times were you couldn't laugh.
I wiped my eyes and started my car. I choked back all the heartache I was feeling and focused on driving. Driving past all the stores and restaurants I had been to all my life was weird. It was like I was driving to a new point in my life. The town was my childhood, Gotham was my adulthood, and my car was some other symbol I'm too tired to analyze now.
I drove for what seemed like an eternity down a long stretch of empty highway towards Gotham. Now that I was on my own, I knew I needed to get a job. I couldn't just wait around for money to fall in my lap so I could pay the rent. I needed to devote myself to my scholastics and to a job to pay for it. I decided to check the want ads when I got to my apartment.
When my eyes reached a sign that said "Welcome to Gotham City", I took a big inhale. I was finally an independent woman living in a prosperous city. Dreams of hope filled my head, as I thought about becoming the great psychologist I longed to be.
But those dreams were about to come crashing down. This wide-eyed hopeful innocent was about to get a good dose of reality and injustice. Two things that didn't even come into mind as I drove into the great city of Gotham.
Whew! I told ya it was going to be long, didn't I? And we aren't even past the tip of the iceberg yet. But the story's gonna get far more interesting, I promise! But right now I'm tired. Gimme a break and come back later, and I'll give ya more of the story, ok? Sayonara!
A/N: So what do you think? This is the first major fan-fiction I'm writing so, can I get a little feedback? Much appreciated. Oh, and forgive any spelling or grammatical errors, please.