Mad World
Chapter one
A/N This is my first fanfic. Wow, I have power here.
Tamao:Well I like it Alex-chan and what do you mean?
Myself: Why thank you Tamao-chan, and I mean I control what happens who loves who and so on. NOW AS A GOD I COMMAND YOU TO DO THE DISCLAIMER
Tamao: .......O-kay? Alex-chan does not own Strawberry Panic, because if she did she'd go crazy.....er
Myself: What do you mean crazy.....OH A PENNY!!
Tamao: Run while you still can, and take me with you
Myself:Well this is a TamaoxNagisa fanfic so if you went I'd have to give it to Shizuma.
Tamao:I'll be good.
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"Welcome back, Nagisa-chan." Tamao said with her back to the door.
All Nagisa could do was stand on the other side with her hand resting on the handle. At last, the door slowly opened, revealing Tamao."Oh Tamao-chan, are you alright?" Nagisa thought herself because Tamao's lilac eyes that were normally so bright and shinning, looked like she had died inside.
"Tamo-chan...." was all Nagisa got to say before she slowly turned her back on her, for some reason Nagisa had a feeling forever. That night, Nagisa couldn't sleep because there was a torrent of emotions swirling on the inside of her threatening to come spilling out at any moment.
The only emotions she could recognize was overall enthusiasm at Shizuma's public declaration of love, the other was crushing loneliness and guilt for Tamao what she could only guess she caused but had no reason why. That was last year.
She was lying in her now empty dorm room thinking of what had happened and how she had managed to end up this way. It happened but a few months ago. Nagisa had just came home from a rather challenging French class since Shizuma was no longer there to help her having graduated.
"Ugh, why do we even need to learn French?" a rather tired and totally drained Nagisa said. "I mean, its not we're ever going to use this unless we move to france which I have no intention of doing."
She said as she opened the door to her and Tamao's dorm. As soon as she opened her door, she wish she hadn't.
Slowly, oh so very slowly, Tamao's things had begun to disappear.
"I wonder why the room looks emptier?" Nagisa thought to herself. Just as she was getting ready to study, she heard the door opening which she knew was Tamao-chan.
"Ohayo Tamao-ch...."She started to say but the look of her roommate and best friend stopped her.
Tamao had a bag in her hand and she was putting her things in.
" Uhh Tamao-chan, i think we're only supposed to clean our rooms the last day of school and its only the 2nd week of school." Nagisa jokingly said.
"Your right Nagisa-chan, we are supposed to clean out OUR rooms the last day, but this is not my room anymore." Tamao icily said, but Nagisa could also hear the sound of barely suppressed tears also.
"Um, I might need to get my hearing checked, but did you say you were leaving?" Nagisa nervously asked since she knew her ears were cleaned but wanted to ask to confirm what she heard.
"Yes, you did hear me: I'm moving out." Tamao said trying to hide her emotions, but failing because Nagisa could see sibs beginning torack her tiny frame..
"NANI? Why? If I did anything just tell m....." Nagisa said but was cut off by Tamao.
"No, it has nothing to do with anything you did. I'm leaving because I don't think I can bear to be around the person who stole my heart but was stolen from me."
All Nagisa could do was blankly stare at her.
"By your silence I guess you don't know what I'm talking about. You always was as thick as tank armor buried 5 meters in the earth, but I guess thats what I loved the most about you.." Tamao said still not looking at her. " Nagisa, what I'm trying to say is that I....I.....I love you."
She managed to choke out before completely breaking down and crying.
"Tamao.....chan."
"Wait, let me finish. I loved you, no love you since i first set my eyes in you. You were like a fallen angel, so beautiful and perfect. When I heard you were going to be my roommate, I literally jumped for joy." Tamao said between sobs. "I love how you look when your asleep, how you sound when you yell, I love everything about you.I even love that you didn't choose me, because if choosing me would have made you unhappy, then I would have hated myself."
"Tamao-chan, I don't understand?" Nagisa said wearly, not knowing what to feel at her friends sudden confession of love..
"I always tried to get your attention, helping you with your homework, showing you around campus, anything to get you to notice me. Looking back, I should have known it wouldn't work. Your heart had been stolen by a Silver haired thief.I wanted to know every thing about you, but the one thing that stood out the most was that I could never have you." Tamao described Shizuma with such a malice it scared Nagisa and her, even though her body was racking with sobs.
"But why can't you stay?" Nagisa said trying hopelessly to get Tamao to stay.
Tamao turned around suddenly and gently took Nagisa's chin in her hand so she could look into her eyes. "Nagisa, I love you with every fiber of my being, and would do anything to make you happy, even if it means my heart will be shattered some more." Tamao said starring into those wonderful pools of scarlet called her eyes, just wishing she could lose herself in them, but she couldn't. Not if that meant keeping from true happiness."Look at it this way. Now whenever Shizuma visits she can stay here and be around you without worrying about losing you."
All of a sudden, Tamao stood up and reorganized her things and headed to the door.
"Tamao-chan, wait...." Nagisa whispered to her friend in hopes of her staying.
"Well, Nagisa-san, I guess I'l see you in Lit class tomorrow." Tamao's voice completely devoid of any emotion but her eyes swam with unsaid words and feelings,breaking Nagisa's heart even though she didn't know why, and with that she shut the door, shutting off her connection with Nagisa possibly forever.
Nagisa, to stunned just sat on her bed, staring blankly at the door, hoping it was all a joke and that Tamao would just walk in and say Gotcha, but it never happened.
Meanwhile on the other side of the door, Tamao finally let go of all that pent of sadness as she slumped against the wall, saying, "Good bye Nagisa-chan, I love forever and always. I'm sorry, but you have my heart and I don't want it back."
That was only a couple months ago, but to Nagisa it felt like it was a lifetime ago.
'Well, if my life had a theme song, it would be mad world by Gary Jules."Nagisa sadly thought to herself as she sat in her small but amazingly completely empty room.
"Well, I'm going to have to get out of bed some time, seeing as its stupid Monday." Nagisa said as she slowly peeled herself from her bed. She didn't see the point because her grades have gotten worse and worse and she was obviously going to fail her classes.
Her grades had been declining every since she lost her best friend, and as she came to relize, the one person besides Shizuma who made life at Miator bearable. Without Tamao by her side helping her through life's ups and downs, Nagisa didn't know if she could stay sane and not breakdown.
She wondered how Tamao was doing as she slowly made her way to class. That morning students swear the heard the death march wherever Nagisa went.
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A/N This is my first fanfic, and I would really like it if you you could review and possibly give me some advice. If you want to know why I Chose Mad World because of its lyrics.
Shizuma: I hate it.
Me:*Sniffle* why?
Shizuma:Because I'm not in it. the star has to be in it
Me:Uhh, your not the star:
Tamao:Yeah, I AM!!!
Me: Your not either.
Both:WHO IS IT THEN??!!!??
Me: I'm surrounded by dobes if you haven't figured it out.
Both:Neither have you.
Me:........Shut up.
