Life in Cartoon Motion…
So a vampire a zombie and a werewolf walk into a bar...
Looking back on his life Conrad could only realise how little any of it meant. He had done nothing; sure he had a nice apartment and a high paying job that didn't require him to even leave the pristine reds and whites of his designer living room. He had a chance to put the one thing he really, truly enjoyed into a career, art.
But, what else did he have? He hadn't seen his mother in god only knows how long, having developed more than enough complexes in the time he had spent with her. She had seen it as a twisted competition, whoever could get diagnosed with the most issues without being locked up would get an extra prescription of ASRIs. Conrad had very nearly won, something that even he could not feel proud of. He had no real friends, only acquaintances whose names had long escaped his memory and he was sure that they struggled to remember his. He didn't think he had ever brought anyone back to the spotless interior of his home.
And now, even after death, nothing had changed. He still had the same job, the same apartment with the same pointlessly large kitchen. He still had 'Friends' that he seemed to see only in emergencies (Granted that the emergencies had taken on a much more serious note). He still didn't know all of their names, although they themselves seemed unsure on that one.
Now though, he was known and despised by people (creatures?) he'd never met, insulted by doctors that looked like they'd given more diseases than they had ever helped cure. His social circle included nameless zombies and hyperactive, childlike investigators; teenagers with pointed teeth and venom green eyes and werewolves with blue striped hair that played in bands. None of whom seemed to see anything wrong with the life of the neurotic vampire at all.
Vampires. Although Conrad would never admit it he'd always admired the smirking TV representation of these 'night terrors'. They had their hard confidence, their strength and grace, even the ability to take a beating that would crush normal people with a cocky grin plastered onto their faces. He envied their lack of remorse, their ease when seducing 'petty mortals', their hypnotic gaze and how they always seemed to be having fun.
Where had that all gone for him? He tripped over shadows, squawked at even the slightest scares, flinched at paper cuts. His strength was doubtful at best and his seduction skills left women flocking away from him rather than to him. He still got the cons, of course. He took burning up literally when he stepped into the sunlight, doors didn't have to be closed to stop him from getting past unless he was expressly invited inside, and he could smell everything – sweat, perfume, food, blood – causing him to seek recluse and making his interactions with the aforementioned doctor all the more unbearable.
His thirst was constant varying only in intensity, an often agonising reality.
So here he was, Conrad Achenleck, half-fang, Count fucking Fagula, alone and pathetic. Broken.
A.N: Wow, sorry that this first one's so short. The rest should be longer (fingers crossed). This is an attempt at a non-couply fic, that's right shippers no couples unless they're cannon sowee ^-^'
Poor Conrad though, he has absolutely no luck. Here's hoping that things get better for him, pfft yeah right.
Reviews are gold yadda, yadda, yadda, tell me what I did wrong and I'll do my bestest to fix it.
I'll update soon, second chapter's almost done just need my sis to help me rid it of glaring errors and the likes. Buh-bye now x.
Disclaimer: I own none of this stuff, my drawing is nowhere near good enough to pass as the creator of Hanna and co and if I did I would not be posting here now would I?
(P.s, Remembering Wonderland is now a no go, awfully sorry about that one. It's been too long for me to comfortably continue.)