Hello, my beautiful people! Hope you enjoy this first fic of mine!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Warning: Foul language

Character Profiles

Naruto: able to see the good in people, can see and hear positive thoughts and memories; Sasuke's counterpart

Sasuke: able to see the evil in people, can see and hear negative thoughts and memories; Naruto's counterpart

Neji: able to seduce or incite sexual feelings in anyone he makes eye contact with; can't control his powers; Hinata's counterpart

Hinata: Neji's cousin and counterpart; pacifies any intense emotions, such as lust, anger, or sadness

Gaara: able to summon anything to aid him (generally magical sand); immune to any mental/emotional-based magic

Shikamaru: able to change the weather based on his moods

Shino: dissipates into a swarm of poisonous flies; hypersensitive to light and heat

Kiba: shapeshifter (prefers dogs); ultra-heightened sense of smell and hearing

Rock Lee: supersonic voice (unfortunate considering he yells 90% of the time); fast runner

Sakura: manipulation of plants

Ino: able to utilize her hair as a weapon, so long as it's not cut off

Tenten: able to camouflage with her surroundings

Sai: has an ink beast living inside his body that he unleashes through his mouth; heartless bastard

Sasori: able to take his body apart at will; body parts still function perfectly when detached

Deidara: can make anything he touches explode if he concentrates

Kisame: able to breathe underwater and manipulate water; teacher of Combat

Itachi: Sasuke's older brother; abilities include (but not limited to): mental manipulation, illusions, reality warping, and image projection; teacher of Defense

Kakashi: able to perfectly copy any movement or even magical ability from anyone he sees; his powers only hold for the span of five minutes each; teacher of Literature

Iruka: able to sense the life forces of people; school vice-headmaster

Gai: able to form energy blasts; teacher of Physical Education

Tsunade: healing and regenerating abilities; school medic

Jiraya: able to control people with his words; huge pervert; school headmaster

Jeline: School librarian; able to send anything she touches or sees into an alternate dimension

Kurama: Naruto's older brother, able to absorb anyone's life force and create vaporizing energy blasts

"Book report."

Kakashi might as well have uttered a death sentence.

Naruto groaned and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. He hated Literature. He hated doing stupid book reports. And on occasion, he even hated the Literature teacher. Naruto swore to whatever god that existed that Kakashi was out to get him.

"This will be a group project," Kakashi announced almost giddily from the front of the seminar room. "I will be assigning partners as I see fit, and you all will pick a book that's at least five hundred pages long, and write a full analysis and summary by the end of this month. Now then, the partners will be…"

Naruto quietly fumed as he listened to his teacher list off pairs of names. It was coming, he just knew it. Any moment now, the verdict would be given.

"Ruka Tamura and Sei Tsunoka…"

Wait for it…

"Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki!"

There it was.

A couple rows down below him, Naruto could make out Sasuke banging his head against the table. Uchiha resolve be damned. He was pissed.

Naruto understood his frustration perfectly. He too, was on the receiving end of many of Kakashi's shenanigans involving the two of them. Maybe the man was some sort of sick sadist that loved watching two boys who just can't fucking get along try to murder each other every second.

Yep, that made sense.

The bell rang, and Naruto made a beeline out the classroom, not wanting to be closer to the Uchiha bastard or silver-haired sadist than he already has to be.

"Uzumaki."

Shit.

Naruto turned slowly, trying to school his emotions into something that wasn't murderous rage. "Yes, Kakashi, sir?" he gritted out, firmly clutching his bag so that he didn't punch his teacher in the face.

Kakashi smiled, even though it wasn't visible from behind the black flu mask that covered the lower half of his face. "I hope you do well on this project. Do try not to kill Sasuke while you're at it, okay?"

Naruto listened. He looked.

Kakashi seriously wanted him and Sasuke to work together, to get along, to become friends, if possible. While laughing at the possibly hilarious outcome inside his head, Kakashi genuinely wanted them to warm up to each other. In his mind, Naruto could see flashes of old memories—two children playing merrily at a playground, the blonde boy gesturing animatedly with his hands while a raven-haired boy nodded on demurely. They were laughing.

"You two got along so well when you were children," Kakashi said, shuffling some papers between his fingers.

Naruto broke out of his trance, red, slit-pupil eyes fading back into striking cyan. He looked at Kakashi, who looked right back at him, concern flashing behind the humor in his dark eyes. It took him a while to realize that Kakashi was waiting for a response.

"Things changed, Kakashi," Naruto managed to finally say, before slinging his bag over his shoulder and leaving.

He made his way towards the courtyard as fast as humanly possible, until he finally felt the cool breeze tickle his face and the smell of wildflowers flooded his senses. Naruto took in large gulps of the fresh air, sighing contently as the stress from a minute ago flooded right out of his system. It was a nice day; clear skies, warm sunshine…Shikamaru must be at ease.

Naruto rushed down the marble steps of the academy, jogging towards the large willow tree besides the fountain. He needed some time to vent.

"Shikamaru!"

Lazy brown eyes opened slightly at the call of his name, staring directly into stunning blue orbs looming no more than two inches away from his own. Shikamaru smirked slightly, and pushed the blonde head away from his face.

"Buzz off, Naruto."

"Aww, but I need to talk to you!" Naruto whined, plopping down next to him on the grass and pulling out a sandwich. "That Kakashi bastard is gunning for me, I swear!"

Shikamaru sighed. Here we go again…

"He paired me up with that asshole Uchiha again!" Naruto took an angry bite out of his sandwich, grumbling some incoherent sentence that Shikamaru knew by heart. It was always like this—Kakashi would assign some task and make Naruto and Sasuke partners, then Naruto would get mad, come to him, and rant his heart out. And like clockwork, Shikamaru would lie under the willow tree and listen absentmindedly as his friend complained. Naruto's mouth could give a bullet train a run for its money.

In all honesty, Shikamaru couldn't care less about how aggravated his friend became over having to work together with Sasuke. In fact, he was slightly curious as to why he would get angry in the first place. When they were all in grade school and unaware of their own abilities, Naruto and Sasuke had been best friends. Inseparable. Then suddenly, high school hits and those two couldn't stay in a room together for five minutes without breaking at least three pieces of furniture and maybe a window.

"…the dude has an icicle stuck up his ass or some shit. Hey Shika, you listenin' to me?"

"Hm?" Shikamaru opened one eye lazily. "Yeah…continue."

Naruto huffed and continued to rant. His words went in one ear and out the other.

"Are we talking about Uchiha again?" a smooth voice cut over Naruto's.

Shikamaru nodded, not bothering to open his eyes. "Neji. Hinata."

"Shikamaru," Neji replied. As per usual, he took his seat next to Shikamaru's lying form, and motioned for his cousin Hinata to join him.

"Hello Shikamaru, Naruto," Hinata greeted politely, sitting next to Neji. "Would you two like some lunch? The cafeteria had brioche and strawberry pudding today. I brought some, so help yourself."

"Thanks," Shikamaru said, reaching over and grabbing a brioche roll, eyes still closed.

"Thanks, Hinata!" Naruto exclaimed. "I love that bread thingy!"

Cue the eye roll. Shikamaru opened his eyes and sighed. Everything was going according to routine. Now all that's left is…

"So, I heard you had to work with Uchiha again," Neji said, adjusting his black-framed glasses and tucking a long strand of hair behind his ear. "What's the assignment now? Hopefully not cleaning up the locker rooms again."

Naruto pouted. "Kakashi's making me do a book report with the asshole."

"Oh, what a tragedy." Neji placed a hand on his chest dramatically. "Poor soul, you must be suffering!"

Naruto scowled and flipped him the bird. "Whatever. I swear, if I make it out of this alive, I'll make damn sure Kakashi will have his face covered with bandages instead of that stupid flu mask."

"Naruto, maybe Kakashi has his reasons for pairing you up with him," Hinata tried to reason, smoothing down her maroon uniform skirt. "He does seem worried about you, sometimes."

At this, Naruto's eyes dropped to his lap. He heaved sigh, running a hand through his messy blonde locks.

"Yeah, I figured that part out myself. But I doubt he's a hundred percent altruistic. He's entertained by this, y'know?"

Neji arched an elegant brow. "I thought Sasuke would be able to determine ulterior motives."

"That asshole couldn't determine whether or not someone's pissed drunk without it biting him in the ass," Naruto grumbled, crumpling his sandwich wrapper in his hand.

"What a nice way to put it, Uzumaki."

All heads turned towards the sardonic voice. Sasuke Uchiha stood before the small group, a scowl on his face and his hands shoved deftly in the pockets of his black uniform slacks. He gave a curt nod in greeting. "Hyuuga, Nara." His voice was icy and intense. Any lesser being would have shriveled away and crawled home to their mothers crying. The silence that ensued was ominous and heavy with tension.

Hinata was the brave one. "Hello Sasuke," she said in the same calm, polite manner she always used. "Would you like a brioche?"

Sasuke's glare turned to her, but Hinata didn't falter. She stared right back, her pale lavender eyes meeting the cold onyx orbs without fear or hesitation. Her hand gently took a brioche roll and held it out to Sasuke. Her movement was controlled, casual—almost like she did this on a daily basis.

After an intense staring contest between the two, Sasuke sighed in defeat and took the bread offered to him. "Thanks."

Hinata smiled. "It's no problem." She glanced back at Naruto, who was staring at her with eyes wide open and mouth gaping like a fish out of water. Still smiling, she tugged at Neji's sleeve. The older boy immediately caught her drift, and elbowed Naruto.

"You have work to do, Naruto," Neji said, picking himself up and dusting off his pants. "And we really must be going."

Hinata nodded, and placed another brioche roll in Naruto's hands. "Take care, Naruto."

Shikamaru groaned as he lifted himself to a slouching excuse of a stand. "What a drag…later, Naruto." He shuffled away, leaving Naruto alone with Sasuke.

Naruto, still dazed from his friends' sudden absence, jumped when a sharp knuckle hit his head.

"Ow!"

"Get your ass moving, moron," Sasuke grumbled, glaring at the blonde boy beneath him. "The sooner we get this project over with, the sooner I can get away from you."

"You can do your part yourself, bastard!" Naruto shot back, scrambling to his feet.

"Idiot, that's not how this works," Sasuke snarled. "Didn't you hear anything Kakashi said? He told us to pick a book and write the report together. And he has Itachi's favor. I am NOT going to be humiliated in class again because of your stubborn ass."

Naruto bit his lip in frustration. Sasuke was right. He owed him for the last time they had a partner project together. Plus, Sasuke's older brother was terrifying. Getting him involved would be suicide.

"Fine," Naruto sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Let's get this over with. What book did you choose?"

"I didn't choose any book," Sasuke replied curtly. "If I'd gone and chosen a book you'd never be able to understand its content." He smirked at the blonde's obvious snarl of anger. "So, I thought maybe I should have you pick something that your two existing brain cells can comprehend."

"Asshole," Naruto muttered angrily as he shouldered past Sasuke and trudged towards the library, not bothering to check if the raven was following him.

"What have you done?"

Long, strong fingers combed through silver hair as a sigh echoed off the empty lecture hall. Kakashi continued to lean against the side of the window, watching two of his favorite students walk towards the library, a good ten feet between them.

"I know what you are thinking," the smooth, masculine voice said again, this time much closer than it was a minute ago. "And I don't think it's a good idea."

"They can deal with it," Kakashi replied, not taking his eyes away from the scene outside. "They had five years ago, and they can now. Those two boys need each other, Itachi. They don't understand it yet, but they do."

Itachi stood before Kakashi, watching from the other side of the window. His long, ink-black ponytail hung over his shoulder, and mesmerizing crimson eyes were trained firmly on his little brother and Naruto as they slowly disappeared from view.

The Defense teacher heaved a sigh. "Have you any idea what's going to happen? I don't think I can deal with a temperamental Sasuke again."

Kakashi grinned from behind his flu mask. "This'll work out, trust me. Besides, if anyone can handle Sasuke when he's in his pissed-off mode, it's you."

"Yes, but it's quite tiring," Itachi said tiredly, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. "His temper is a force to be reckoned with. Sometimes I wish that Sasuke was the person he was five years ago."

"Unfortunately, the Universe refuses to grant anyone with time abilities," Kakashi replied, turning his gaze onto Itachi. "And enough with those mind games. If you want to talk to me, at least have the courtesy to show up yourself. Projections are cheap."

At this, Itachi chuckled. "Who said I was a projection, Kakashi? And since when were you so anal about old friends meeting again to talk?"

Kakashi smirked, but didn't turn his eyes away from the window. "Because, Itachi, I know you."

"Then I suppose you would know what I wanted to tell you this whole time?"

Dark gray eyes averted a fraction from the window to the dark-haired man. Kakashi's posture, while still lax, now grew slightly tenser. "What is it?"

"I had a vision," Itachi drawled calmly, crossing his slender arms over his chest. "Kyuubi will be coming back."

Kakashi bit his lip. If Kyuubi was coming back, then something must be up. It wasn't like him to just come back to the academy all willy-nilly. "I'm guessing he's not here to resume his previous job as school counselor."

"As if that worked well," Itachi said drily. "And no, he's not. But I'm willing to put my money on his little brother being the reason."

"You and me both."

BANG. CRASH. CREAK.

"I'm home!"

Kakashi groaned and rubbed his temples in dismay at the sound of the staff quarters door being kicked right off its hinges. He never learns…

"Yo, Hatake! Uchiha! Where you at?!" a deep, male voice boomed from down the hall, heavy footsteps following suit.

From the room next door, Kakashi could faintly make out the sound of Itachi sighing in exasperation. Of course. They both won't be sleeping tonight.

"Where are you, me darlings?" the voice echoed throughout the mostly empty staff quarters, and an unpleasant shiver coursed through Kakashi's body.

"I can sense you're there," the voice sing-songed. "Come out, come out, wherever you are~"

At this point, Kakashi had thrown open his window and was preparing to throw himself out of it. Consequences be damned. Not having to deal with Kurama was worth the five-story fall.

Looking down at his target landing—a neatly trimmed patch of bushes—Kakashi noticed a black-clad figure move swiftly past his line of vision. He glanced up, seeing the form of Itachi Uchiha sprinting full speed across the lawn. Over to his left, the windows of Itachi's room was gaping open, the maroon curtains tied together and spilling out as a makeshift rope.

The bastard had beaten him to it.

Kakashi gritted his teeth and prepared to jump into the bushes. One, so he can get the fuck away from Kyuubi and live to see another day. Two, to catch up to Itachi and beat him senseless for leaving without him.

Seemed legit.

It didn't work.

Kakashi sat on the sofa in the teacher's lounge, tightly bound to Itachi. A tall, redheaded man stood before them, inspecting a jagged hunting knife. Several other knives of its kind were strapped all over his body.

"Care to tell us why you've returned, Kyuubi?" Itachi drawled, his voice carefully neutral.

The man grinned, showing his animalistic canines. "Please Itachi, we've known each other for years. It's Kurama," he said in a gruff, deep voice.

"You didn't answer my question," Itachi replied.

"Wow, I come home after all these years and you're still so cold to me." Kurama laughed and straddled a chair in front of them. "How rude."

"Kurama…" Kakashi growled, shifting uncomfortably. He didn't like how Itachi's elbow was stuck in his ribs, or how the other man's hair was making his back itch like hell. "Answer the damn question and cut these fucking ropes."

Kurama pursed his lips in thought, his blood-red eyes roaming about the room aimlessly. His gaze drifted from one end to another, before finally settling on Kakashi, and a small frown tugged at his lips.

"I'm here on an assignment."

"Care to elaborate?"

"I received word from a colleague that there was a dark mystic energy radiating from this school. I'm here to investigate and eliminate that."

Kakashi frowned. "So, you're not here for Naruto, then?"

"The kid can hold his own. He doesn't need me to babysit him," Kurama replied with a proud grin. "But I did want to make sure he's safe, so I decided to come back and take charge of my old profession."

"You're not gonna—"

A feral grin stretched across Kurama's lips. "Be counselor again? Yeah, you guessed right, Kakashi. The old perv already gave me clearance, and my office is already set up. So look forward to seeing those little brats getting mangled!" He stood up abruptly, making the chair skid back and topple over. "I hope you two have your mental seatbelts buckled, because this is gonna be one hell of a year." With that, he exited the room with a slam of the door, leaving his two colleagues tied up and furious.

Itachi heaved a sigh. "I suppose as teacher of Defense it would be inappropriate of me to trap someone inside an endless torture illusion when they have not actively threatened my life?"

Kakashi grunted in irritation as he strained to reach the penknife he kept in his pocket. "Think for yourself, Uchiha. What would the old man say?"

"…He'll probably fire me."

"My point exactly."

"But it'll be worth it."

"What would Naruto say?"

"It'll be worth it," Itachi repeated, struggling against his bonds.

Kakashi smiled slyly as he began sawing away at his restraints with the penknife. "And what would Sasuke say? He idolizes Kurama, you know."

Itachi immediately stiffened, his eyes narrowing into a glare. "I'll never hear the end of it."

"Then play nice and help me cut these fucking ropes."

Ooh, what hell's about to break loose? Don't worry, plenty of magical abilities to follow shortly!