The Hub was quiet, well as quiet as a place that dripped water, had numerous computers, regular and alien and a large watchdog, the Pteranodon.
Jack and Ianto were sitting in Jack's office, with a cup of Ianto's special coffee.
After a sip, Jack looked at Ianto.
"What, Jack"
'Why?"
"Why, what?"
"What have I done to deserve the good coffee?"
"Well, lets see, there was last night, this morning and that time whe..."
Gwen burst in, without knocking. "Jack I need you, I have decided that I will give him up, I known it is me you want"
Gwen barreled over to Jack and jumped into his lap astride his legs and started snogging him. Jack sat there stunned.
"Gwen, stop, just stop" Jack tried to push her off him, but she was determined, she had her legs around him and was trying to undo his shirt.
"Jack, my love, Jack, Jackie, I know we are meant to be, just us, we, oh god help me with your clothes, how can we make glorious love if you wont get your gear off. O Fuck Jack angen i chi ac rwy'n gwybod ei angen arnoch i mi, dim ond fi, fuck mi, Fi angen i chi, bydd angen i mi"1
"Ianto, give me a hand here will you?"
'Oh Jack we are going to have to do something about her, this is the fourth time this month."
"I know!"
"Okay, I'll get the retcon, hopefully she will remember she is with Rhys this time."
"Yeah, since that incident with the Biroglenhgo"
"It always amazes me that you can pronounce the name of that device, but a simple Welsh name, you mangle." Ianto said as he left to get the recton.
Three months earlier
'"Ianto, there is an alarm sounding down in the archives" Jack looks around, "Where's Gwen?"
"Don't known Jack, I've been up in the Tourist Office waiting for Martha and Mickey to arrive, came down when the alarm sounded."
They both looked at each other.
"Oh no she..."
"She better not have, no one goes down there without me!" scowled Ianto.
"Well she not here, she hasn't turned up with the alarm, so she is either down there, or disappeared, and according to the rift monitor, there has been no activity." said Jack as he looked at the monitor.
"So it looks like PC Cooper has decided she knows better, again."
"Seems so Ianto, but we better be armed, just in case, heaven knows what she has touched."
Looking over Jack's shoulder, Ianto exclaimed "Shit!"
"What, where did she get to?"
"She's in the yet to be classified section, you know the area, were I keep the stuff we need to go through, but don't get around to."
Well, I always find more exciting things to do with you down there than catalogue alien flotsam and jetsam."
'"Yeah that's true."
Both men smiled, cheeky, smirky grins, lost in remembering things that have happened when they were supposed to be cataloguing.
"Right", Jack shook his head, reluctantly trying to get the image of a very naked, very sweaty welshman out of his mind, "We better go and rescue her."
"Right behind you."
"Yeah, your favorite position."
"One of them."
"Cheeky, and they say I'm the one with the dirty mind, it's always the quiet ones, but your not so quiet when I have you..."
"Jack, not now, we have to rescue Gwen...again."
"Got your stun gun."
"Yep."
They moved into the to be catalogued section of the archives, it took a while as it was on the fourth lower level, and they were checking each room as they went, in case there was an unknown in the Hub.
"Jack, can you hear that, it sounds like Gwen, your hearing is better, what is she saying?"
"The joys of 51st Century, better hearing, better stamina, better in.."
"Jack, focus, what is she saying/"
"Don't known, think it is welsh, you'll have to translate for me."
Ianto moved up in front of Jack and stood still, listening.
"Mae'n mi, yr wyf eisiau iddo, mae am i mi, ef yw'r gorau, oh Jack, yr wyf am i chi, fuck mi, gwneud i mi, yr wyf yn ei angen !2" The voice was definitely Gwen and she was speaking in Welsh and she sounded desperate.
Ianto translated in his head, looked at Jack and said "You don't want to known."
"What is she saying?"
"You really want to know, This better be an alien intervention or..."
"What, what's going on, Ianto, what is she saying?"
"She." Deep breath, Jack is not fooling around with her I know that I trust him, thought Ianto.
"She is declaring that you are hers, that she wants you and wants to do you and for you to do her and it seems she believes you feel the same."
"What!"
They could hear the same words over and over again, sometimes followed by a moan.
"Ianto"
"Mhmm"
"That doesn't sound like a moan of pain, it sounds like another different, happy noises, moan."
"That it does Jack, what are we going to do, just go in and hope she doesn't have her hands down her pants?"
Jack snorted a laugh, "Trust you, it's always the quiet one that have the dirty thoughts."
"Yeah we quite one are always thinking, and with your pheromones, where else to do think my mind goes."
"I like the way your mind works, especially.."
"Jack!, concentrate, Gwen, what should we do?"
Gwen' voice rose, into nearly a scream, Ianto blushed.
"O O ie ie Fuck, Jack, yn fwy, yn fwy, Jack bron, yn fwy, yn fwy, o, o, ahh, ie, ie, oh duw 3"
"What was that she said?" Jack asked as he looked towards Ianto to get a translation. "Ianto
you are blushing"
"Yeah well I think we can go and get her now, I think she has finished."
Jack laughed. "Do we have cctv for this area?"
"Jack" cautioned Ianto.
"Okay, lets go and see what has happened to our PC Cooper."
They went round the corner into the cataloguing area and saw Gwen slumped on the floor, sweaty and a big grin on her face.
She looked up, saw Ianto, blinked, looked to Jack and jumped up and launched herself at him.
"Whoo, mmmph" said Jack as he landed on the ground. Gwen was over him straddling him and kissing him as if her life depended on it. Jack was trying to get her off him.
Ianto stood, looking at them, then realized that Jack was trying to get Gwen off of him, he didn't seem to be enjoying it at all.
Ianto started to giggle at his predicament.
"Ianto help, she is trying to eat me."
"Yeah in more ways than one. - Captain I though you would have enjoyed this, Gwen molesting you."
'No, get her off me."
"Jack, just hold there and I will be right back, don't do anything I wouldn't, and remember, Rhys plays rugby, seriously as in broken bones, bloody noses."
Jack gulped and tried to get Gwen off him, as Ianto ran upstairs to the medical bay.
It seemed like hours before Ianto came back, but it probably was only about 5 minutes. Jack was feeling very uncomfortable, he was being kissed, his neck sucked, he could feel bruises where Gwen had bitten him and insisted after ever kiss or bite on his neck and torso to lick him, wet saliva heavy licks . He was feeling very sticky. She had finally left his face alone and was trying to get him out of his pants, but was having trouble as she hadn't taken down the braces first.
Ianto skidded back into the room.
"Jack, are you enjoying yourself, do you want me to leave the two of you alone?" Ianto had expected when he came back for Gwen to be held down by Jack, not Gwen undressing Jack and, what was she doing, licking him like an ice-cream.
"I hope to hell you have a sedative, cos what ever has happened to her, she is about 10 times as strong as she usually is, every-time I tried to stop her she growls and pushes me back onto the ground. This is no fun, stop laughing."
"Jack, it if was me this was happening to, you would be rolling around the floor laughing, or more possibly, joining in."
"Ianto" yelled Jack, "Help"
"Okay, Okay, keep your clothes on." As Ianto said that there was a ripping sound as Gwen ripped off Jacks pants, shredding them. "Wow she is strong, I've given her the normal dose, hopefully it will work."
Ianto stood back and watched. It was weird, he thought, watching his lover being kissed and have his clothes pulled apart by a work mate. No Ianto thought, this is Torchwood, I should be surprised if this sort of stuff didn't happen.
'Hey Ianto, you down there, Jack get your hands off him, someone's been mucking around in my med bay and I want to know why and why didn't you call me." Owen stopped dead in his tracks as he walked into the room.
'Kinky. Never took you as a person who would like to watch others at it."
"Owen, Ianto, maybe between all of us we can get her off me, please."
Between the three of them and the sedative, that Owen agreed should have put Gwen out in a minute or two, they got her off of Jack and maneuvered her up to the med bay, A couple of times she lunged for Jack and got his underpants off him. Ianto couldn't decide if it was funny or just wrong that Jack kept walking up, his tackle swinging as he walked. At least he could tell Gwen wasn't doing anything for him, this time.
As they strapped her onto the gurney, Ianto grabbed a containment box and a pair of extra thick gloves and goes down to collect the object.
"Um Jack, she strapped down now mate, how about you put some trousers on, your dangling all your bits about, and this one is on heat, hate to think what Teaboy would say if you were still half undressed and she did have her way with you."
Owen turned away and started to set up some scanners and collect the blood kit to do some analysis.
Ianto appeared with the device and placed in on Owens desk, he looked up and yelled, "don't get it anywhere near me, I don't want to shag the boss, that's your job."
"I'll put it on Tosh's desk, she due back from the labs in a hour or so, she can have a look at it and she and Jack can try and work out a reverse or exit or something to fix this."
Ianto ran his hand through his hair, this is stressful, he though, now there is full on chasing Jack, I've only just got use to the looks she is always giving him and now she is throwing herself at him. Can't I just have him for myself.
"I only want you, she is not for me" whispered Jack in Ianto's ear. "Where did you put the device?"
"On Tosh's desk, Owen was worried if it was on his desk, he may want to hump you as well."
Jack laughed, 'Nah, too skinny, not a nice arse, and he's not my gorgeous Welshman - hear me - Welsh MAN." Jack kissed Ianto behind his ear. "Lets see if I can ID it."
They both walked over to Tosh's desk. Ianto opened the containment box, and they gingerly peered in.
"Well, I know what it is, and it's not good." sighed Jack.
"What is it and why not good." Owen had walked up behind them as they peered into the box. "It looks like a roll of sticky tape."
"It may look like a roll of sticky tape but it is a Hogeooh, it's a fertility device for the Biroglenhgo. It seems they had trouble with wanting to mate. As a race they believed that they should aim for higher thoughts, deeds and life. They got so involved in advancing their society they used every method they could think of even genetic manipulation. They got their ideal society but every one had their heads in books and being high and mighty they stopped wanting to have sex. They considered sex too base for their ideals of a perfect world. Great in theory but no sex, no reproduction. They had no desire and no inclination to mate. Even if they wanted to for the 'greater good' of the society, it just didn't work. The bit that should do what they should wouldn't - um, how do I put this?"
"Rise to the occasion." supplied Ianto
"Yep, well put. So the boffins got together and made a machine that made them strong enough to catch and bed a mate, really put the mating imperative back, and so the species continues. They still do lots of research into mating imperative, and they were, ironically the first species to change males so they could have babies."
"Very interesting, but what can we do with Gwen and why has she decided on you?" enquired Owen.
"Well, as I understand it, the Biroglenhgo do pair up, with what they consider their ideal person, and when the device is used, it works on the brain waves to only activate the mating imperative with that one." replied Jack.
"Gwen does have a crush on you Jack. You seem to her to be her 'knight in shinning armor', so I guess that's why she fixated on you." Ianto mused.
"But I don't wanna. I just want my Welshman, not her."
"Do you known if there is a way to turn it off or change who the fixation is on." asked Owen. 'We could possibly switch it over to Rhys or to someone else."
"The Biroglenhgo are large, clumping beings, they look a bit like a cross between a hippo and a giraffe, yeah really weird looking, but they have very thick skin and no enemies, so they live a long time and it very rare for a pair to split and the bonding is life long, as everything has to be for the best and perfect." Jack said.
The door alarms went off and the three men turned around and looked at Tosh.
"Hi guys, anything happen while I was away?"
Jack laughed, Ianto sighed and Owen snickered.
"Well, Tosh." replied Owen, "in a nut shell, Gwen wants to mate with Jack and she is sedated in the med bay but as you can hear" they all listened and could hear some more moans of the happy sort coming from the med bay, "she is desperate and sounds like the sedative is wearing off." Owen went back to the med bay to prepare another shot. As he walked down the stairs they could hear Gwen starting to yell. "Where are you my love, I need you, you need me, lets do it. Fi angen i chi, mor wael, fuck fi, dwin yr unig un i chi, bydd angen i chi fuck mi ei angen arnoch i mi, yn union fel Fi angen i chi .4"
"I'm not translating any more." Ianto said.
"It's okay, we get the drift, Tosh, this is the device, it causes a mating imperative that has yet never been broken. Any ideas on how to stop it. The device does not turn off or reset or change the person back." Jack said unhappily.
"So the device changed the structure of the brain or does it write over information held?"
"It overrides to great the imperative, don't think it changes any part of the brain." replied Jack.
'Oh I see what your getting at Tosh." Ianto said, "If it hasn't changed the brain itself, if we get her to forget the imperative, she should go back to normal and only lust after him and not actually jump him and tear his clothes off."
"She did that?"
"Yep" replied Owen. "I caught the last of what you were saying, so if her brain hasn't been changed we should be able to retcon her and it will all be fixed, right Tosh come and help me do some tests."
"You are just scared of her aren't you." giggled Tosh.
"Too right, she was able to pin down Jack and rip his trousers off, scary stuff."
The tests took about 2 hours and they kept having to up the sedative to keep Gwen quiet.
The four of them went to the conference room, keeping an eye on Gwen via the CCTV.
"Okay, lets get this started, Owen, is there any changed physically to Gwen?" queried Jack.
"Nup not a sausage, just the same as she was before. So my medical advice to to retcon her."
"Anything else before we work out doses etc.?" asked Jack.
Ianto said, "She has broken retcon before, what will happen if she does again."
"She jumps Jack and we retcon her again." replied Owen.
"I don't want to be jumped by her again, it was scary." pouted Jack.
"I'll look after you." whispered Ianto.
Jack smiled, "So kids we have a plan."
Present Day
"Jack, hold on one minute, I've her special retcon." Ianto injected Gwen, who stoped what she was doing, blinked a few times and fell asleep.
Ianto helped Jack lift her off him and place her on the sofa.
"This has got to stop, It's getting to often, it would be unsafe if this happened when we were chasing a weevil or other dangerous alien." Jack sighed. "I think she will have to go, if we retcon her back prior to her starting at Torchwood, set her and Rhys up somewhere far away and explain to him how dangerous it is for her if she remembers, hopefully that will solve it."
"Yeah, she gets a life and Rhys will be very happy. He has been so afraid Gwen will get killed he will jump at leaving and starting afresh." Ianto replied.
"Can you organize it for me, give her a good life, Torchwood can bankroll a nice house for them." Jack looked sad. I don't want her but I do love her, like I love all my team, but I'm only in love with my Welshman.
'It's okay to be sad Jack, she was a big part of the team. I'll miss her, even though she drove me mad."
"The look on your face when she first launched herself at me, if I hadn't of been winded I would have laughed."
"I must admit I was worried, that you liked it and you would have wanted her, that you preferred her over me. But this situation showed me that it is me you want."
"Always, sweet, always." Jack kissed him as Gwen moaned.
'I'll go and call Rhys to come and get her, should we explain it all or just a cover story?"
"I think a cover story would be better, Ianto, I don't want Rhys to come after me, he's scary."
Ianto giggled and went to the computer.
"Oh well, so much for a quiet night in."
They both though, at least I'll have him to myself now.
1
Oh Fuck Jack I need you and I know you need me, just me, fuck me, I need you, l need you
2
He is mine, I want him, he wants me, he is the best, oh Jack, I want you, fuck me, do me, I need it
3
OO Yeah Yeah Fuck, Jack, more, more, Jack almost, more, more, oh, oh, ahh, yes, yes, oh god
4
I need you, so badly, fuck me, Im the only one for you, you need to fuck me you need me, just as I need you