In Boner Inducing Memory of The Microsoft Indian Phone Scammer
Who The Fuck Cares? - 2016
Prime Minister Amy the Girl was filing the royal mobian taxes. She had it all, money, power, bitches, and the semi-respect of Sonic the Hedgehog. One day, she might even get some of that hot hedgehog cock. But for now, she had all she would ever need for life's little problems.
That is…. As long as no one knew of "The Deal"
Suddenly, from behind her, the door creaked open, and two familiar, soft hands began caressing her shoulders. It was Sally the Acorn. She, Sonic the Fuckhog, Vanilla the Rabbit, and the Chaotic Councel were the only others to know about "The Deal", and as long as things went according to plan, no one else would ever have to know, till it was tool late.
"Amy, dear" Sally the Acorn seductivly said
"Yes…. Sally the Acron?" Quivered Amy the Girl, she had her heart set on Sonic the Hotcock, but Sally the Acorn…. Sakky the Akorn came a close second
"You're done filing taxes for today, I got something MUCH more important for you to do."
"Oh… Oh! Okay!" Amy the Girl ripped off her dress, ready for her next assignment.
"What the fuck? What are you, some kind of pervert? Put your fucking clothes back on. GOD!"
Hot Sweaty furry yuri vagina grinding sex would have to wait.
"What I came down here to tell you was that Cream the Rabbit is gone. The only living persoon that might know of her location is in the Mobion Kink Dungeon. I need you to get some info about Cream's location, okay?"
"Oh… Ooooh…. Um, okay…. Nobody knows abou-"
"The Deal is still secret, just go."
Amy the Girl walked down to the bottom floor of the castle, and into the Kink Dungeon, where Big the Cat sat, strapped to a chair. Big the Cat and Amy the Girl went back a long way. They used to bump uglies back when they were in Team Rose, but sadly it didn't last. However, the wayward lovers left on good terms, Amy the Girl leaving with monthly alimony to use for her pursuit of a much bluer hero, while Big the Cat left with motivation to get off his lazy ass and make money to support the woman who left him for much bluer balls. Though Big the Cat had landed in prison regardless of his failure to pay his dues, she still didn't want to hurt him… However, she had an idea that may suffice.
Amy the Girl took out a bag of hot Cat-Nip, and began to smother Big the Cat with it. After a good wiff of this shit, he would say whatever the hell she wanted him to say, just like that one time in Carnival Night Zone…
"Okay Big the Cat, where's Cream the Rsabbi?" Sadly, Big the cat was spazzing the fuck out, almost vibrating at a ludicrous velocity. She checked the bag of nip, only to find out she accidentally used the quality stuff, HER quality stuff. This wasn't any old Cat Nip, this was straight up 20$ 420 Blaze it brand WEED.
"Oh fuck" Amy said to herself. Not only was she gonna have to buy ANOTHER pack of WEED, but this was gonna end badly for everyone.
Big the Cat suddenly began to glow, and he fully transformed into Blaze the Cat (vagina included), she now had the power to 420 BLAZE all who stood in her way. She also lost roughly 500-"I'm a woman so I don't reveal my weight" pounds, and was able to just slip right out of her bonds. Her newly grown massive tits would have made it a little tricky, however, but Big the Cat already had them before, so it was easy. Before Big the Girl could re-restrain her, Blaze the Cat jumped out the window, and set the entire forest outside on fire.
Amy the Girl turned around ,ready to run out, change her name back to Rosy the Rascal, and start a new life in Mobian Africa just like Dave the Chappelle. Sadly the Acorn clubbed her right in the face with an aluminum bat.
Amy the Girl blacked out.
When Amy the Girl came back to reality, she was in the truck of Sally the Acorn's convertible. She was in bondage in such a way her tits bulged out, just the way Sally the Acorn liked it. Amy the Girl tried to talk her way out of this, but her mouth was ball-gagged. Sally the Acorn couldn't even hear her desperate cries over the roaring engine. She also drove over every single possible speed bump, just cause why not?
Sally the Acorn finally stopped at a bridge right over a section Seaside Hill Zone, and threw Amy the Girl over the edge. With her hands bonded, Amy the Girl could not swim, and the waves below would guide her to what she could only assume was her own grave.
Amy the Girl blacked out.
Once Amy the Girl came too once more, she had discovered she had beached on a nearby beach. This was her second chance…. If she wasn't still bonded. She struggled to get her bonds off, but as Silver the Pussyhog would say, it was no use, the ropes were Amy Girl proof.
Right when Army the Girl accepted fate for the third time today, the silhouette of a small girl appeared before her. Amy the Girl began to orgasem as loud as she could (it's louder than a scream for her) to grab the girl's attention. But it just grabbed her by her bound feet, and began dragging her into the woods.
Amy the Girl accepted fate for the fifth time today.
Soon, Amy the Girl was dragged into a house, and threw her onto a chair. She then took the ball-gag out of Amy the Girl's mouth, and the mysterious girl sat down at the other end of the table. It was interrogation time.
"Tell me about The Deal"
"The what? I have no ide-"
"Vanilla the Rabbit is dead, I did some reseach, and she was a part of something called "The Deal", what is it?"
"Who's Vanill-" The figure shot her in the foot "THE PLAN WAS TO GET CREAM THE RABBIT PREGNANT!"
"How?"
"I was to lower her defences by babysitting her for several days, then we would send in Sonic to… To get her pregnant."
"Why?"
"Because Cream the Rabbit had the Choas Aura due to her prolonged exposure to Cheese the Chao, a strong descendant of Chaos the Fucked Up Watery God From Sonic Adventure 1, and Sonic the Hedgehog did was born with it! It's said in the prophecy the the child of two people of the Choas aura would make an unstoppable hero!"
"And what would that hero do?"
"Impregnate everyone else in the world, making the ultimate race of heros."
"... You disgusting pig, and to think, I liked you." The figure leaned forward, it was Cream the Rabbit.
"OH MY GOD! CREAM THE RABBUIT !1 I'm SO-" Cream the Rabutt shot her in the other foot. "OW!1! FUCK!"
"Look, normally, I would set this house on fire with you in it, but you see, I need you for something."
"... But that would be pedophili-"
"I need you to kill the remaining members of the Chaotic Counsel"
"... When didd you become such a cold hearted bitch, Cream the Rabbitch?"
"The second I watched the life drain out of Mr. Sonic's dead rapist cock."
"You….. What?" Amy the Girl was M&M's Shell Shocked. The love of her life….. Was dead. Killed by this stupid punk bitch!... "... I deseve this….. I should never have tried to played so hard to get….. " Amy the Girl had nothing left to lose. The only other person she loved was Sally the Acorn, and she just tried to kill Amy the Girl, most likely with consent from the Chaotic Councel.
"... I'm in. Who do I need to kill?"
There were 7 members of the Chaotic Councel. One was President the Human- the representative of the United Federation…. Well, what was left of it. Doctor Eggman the Fat, represenitive of the Egg Man Empire, and the many robots of Mobius. Knuckles the ekidney, representative of Angle Island, and the Chaos. Vanilla the Ravvit, reprsenitive of the Forest Creatures. The Duke of Soleanna, represenitive of Glitches. Mother Wisp, reprisenitive of the Wisps and Planet Wisp. And Christian Weston Chandler, representative of CWCville and Fan Characters everywhere.
Vanilla the Rabbit was killed by Cream the Rabbit, so Amy the Girl only had to kill the remaining 6. This was still a rather large mouth-full of people to brutally murder, and I don't mean cocks.
Cream the Rabbit handed Amy the Girl a handgun, a knife, the keys to Vanilla's Bitchin' Camero and what was left of the gasoline she had used to burn her mother's sexy bitch body, and sent her on her way. If Amy the Girl came back without bringing back the dicks of each of the targets as proof of their deaths, she would be shot down like a 5 cent hooker.
Amy the Girl went over to the charred remains of Cream the Rabbit's old home ,and used Vanilla's bitchin' Camero keys , and drove into Station Square.
While driving down the road in Vanilla's Bitchin Camero, wondering what the fuck she was doing going on a hit-run on the Chaotic Councel, she saw Knuckles the Enchilada groovin down the sidewalk of Station Square, blasting beats out of his Boom-Box playing "Where the M.E at?" ( watch?v=A2yjWwuoxDM (R.I.P. TrueBluefuse)), wearing a bitchin red bandana, some shades, some gold chains, golden braces on his teeth, some hand rings over his gloves that when put fist next to fist spell "Bad. ", with ripped gangsta pants, visible plaid boxer shorts and a white wife beater, despite being a male, and not needing clothing.
Amy the Girl immediately pulled down her window and drive-by-shot his imitation black ass. She then got out, cut off his four headed schlong, through it in the dick bag, got back into the car, and drove off. She most likely would have shot him anyways for wearing such stupid things, she was doing the universe a favor by killing him. George the Zimmerman would be proud.
Knuckles the Equine's last words were "It's cause I'm black….. Isn't it?"
Amy the Girl drove over to the City Square docks. She looked down at the gun in her hand… She had taken a life. Even with all the terrible thing she had done for Sally the Acorn. She had never taken a life. She would definitely be going to JAHANNAM(Hell in the Secret Rings ;D) for this one. She looked up into the sky, and prepared to cry her singular eye out.
Just then she saw a bat coming in from Africa. The boat transformed to reveal it was Omega the Robot! 1!
"Oh god. I have seen some horrible things… So… Slimey, and BLACK! Uuuuuurg… " said Omega the Robot.
"I'll suck your dick if you take me to Solianna."
"Sorry, I lost my old one…. It's a long story involving me ultra killing my dad and having intercorse with a kracken. But I'll take you there for free. Solianna sells some high quality metal I can use to make a new one."
"You ultra-killed Eggman? You're a sweetheart Omegathe Robot!"
"... Really?" Omega the Robot had never received a compliment like this before. He has been complimented for his amazing bed skills, violent termination skills, and overall being a badass… But never for generosity… he began to felt an emotion deep within him he had never felt before emerge within his cold metal chest "... Thanks…. Let's… Let's get you to Solianna". If he had a dick right now, he would be popping a boner.
"By the way, do you have your father's pingas by any chance?"
"Oh, sure, it's right here, babe." Omega the Robot turned his arm into a gattling gun and shot out Eggman's cock. How it got there was anyone's guess.
"Thanks Omega the Robot. :)"
And so, Omega the Boat and Amy the Girl set sail for Solianna. Along the way, the two befriended Lucifer the Mermaid, and they fucked her… They just fucked her.
The two soon arrived at Soleanna, land of the poorly rendered buildings and physics. She told Omega the Robot to wait at the docks till she was done… She never went back for him.
Amy the Girl began to ask around Soleanna for where the Duke would be found.
"Hey, mister, where would I find the Duke of Solianna?"
"You can buy items at the shop! I just bought this light chip that lets me fly through rings! Neat huh?"
"What? No, where's the Duke?"
"You can buy items at the shop! I just bought this light chip that lets me fly through rings! Neat huh?"
"... Bye?" Amy the Girl began to ask several more people about the Duke, most of them just spewed pointless bullshit that led absolutely nowhere, and others gave vague tips that also led nowhere.
Eventually, Amy the Girl found the Head of the Gaurd.
"WHERE IS THE FUCKING DUKE!?"
"I'd love to tell you! But you must first find the head of the guard! I will tell you a vague tip, and you mu-" Amy the Girl then smashed his brains out with her Pika-Pika hammer.
"IF ANY OF YOU WANT TO LIVE, YOU'LL TELL ME WHERE THE DUKE IS!"
"... In the castle?"
"THANK YOU!" Amy the Girl stormed into the castle. The gaurds WOULD stop her… But they had no weapons, no combat training, no real idea how the politics of the island worked, and generally are just payed to wear army outfits to intimidate the locals away from doing any crimes. So they all just went back to the "Barracks" (Larry's house), and played Uno until the scary girl went away.
Amy the Girl began to storm right through the castle, brutally slaughtering every man, woman, child, and generic NPC in her way, until she came across Solianna's greatest defence mechanism… STAIRS! Not just any stairs, but terribly programmed stairs. Every time Amy the Girl tapped the front of a stair, her foot would focus gravity horizontally, causing her to flop backwards and fall all the way back down. However, she eventually just decided to walk up a wall and around the stairs, due to gravity not been fully established for the castle.
After many wall walkings, Amy the Girl entered the throne room of the Duke the Solianna.
"It's time for your old ass to die, Duke!"
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Amy, my kingdom NEEDS me!" The Duke Responded.
Everything went black.