A/N: Ha, did you guys think you'd get rid of me? Nope, not gonna happen, I'm on the Jeansasha ship and I don't have the slightest intention to leave, hehe ;) So, since I love reunion fics, especially really dramatic ones, my favorite pair is back, once again in the modern world, so...enjoy :D

By the way, go and watch the fourth episode of the second season of AoT, things are getting CRAZY (and that's putting it mildly)!

Cris, you asked me for an AU where they are older than in the previous one-shot...here they're circa nineteen years old and in college...if you want a story where they're even older (i.e college graduates) feel free to tell me.

The title is taken from the song "Far Away" by Nickelback.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Attack on Titan characters in any way.

Sasha's back!

Party tonight at the usual bar! Don't you dare stay home, I'll drag you there myself if I have to!

Connie's messages are enough to turn Jean's knees into jelly and thank God he's sitting right now, otherwise he'd probably collapse on the nearest piece of furniture. Memories invade his mind automatically, of those carefree high school days he has left behind, of stolen, tender moments, of sleepovers…and of the dramatic arguments he had with said girl; arguments that had started a couple of months before Sasha left for her travels and had continued to two days before her departure; that last one had left a particularly strong impact on him, because Sasha had stormed out of his house and had slammed the door shut with a rage that didn't suit to her cheerful character, with no tears and not a single goodbye.

I just wanted to let her decide for herself, he defends himself now as he feels the usual qualms overwhelming him…qualms about the words he had told her back then. To let her be independent…and to protect myself from the pain of her absence.

Then why can't the pain just finally leave him alone? It's been a whole year already, it should have faded by now…and it's not like they were together for years, their relationship had lasted only one year, so he shouldn't act like that, right?

Damn it, who are you trying to kid, Kirstein? You know better than anyone else that time has nothing to do with the impact someone leaves on you…You won't convince anyone that you're cool about it!

That doesn't mean I won't try, though! I will not act like some depressed fifteen-year-old, no matter what!

"So…Sasha's back," his best friend and roommate Marco starts carefully, having noticed his inner turmoil and not wanting to aggravate him, knowing that it's still a very sensitive issue for him. "And, um…how are you feeling about this?"

Confused. Frustrated. Like I'm sinking. Not knowing what the hell to do. Wanting to hide in here forever and wanting to see her like crazy at the same time.

"Well, how am I supposed to feel? No big deal." Jean answers in the end without voicing his actual thoughts. Not that there's a chance to convince Marco, he knows him better, but speaking about how he truly feels about Sasha's return will make everything only worse.

"Uh-huh. So you'll actually go to that party? I honestly don't know what Connie was thinking, he should know it'll be awkward for you to see her again…"

"No awkwardness here, Marco. It'll be cool, some catching up, some drinking, some stopping Eren from getting totally wasted…a normal and funny Saturday night with my buddies. Besides," Jean continues playing it cool; it's hard, but it's his defense, his only defense from the bitter feelings that threaten to crush him, "it's not like we were engaged or something, just a brief relationship between two high-school students, so I have no problem seeing her."

"Uh-huh." Marco says again, glancing at him with that look Jean hates; the one that says I'm-not-falling-for-this-nonsense-so-stop-it-already. "Number one, it was more than a brief relationship, Jean, and you know it, you guys were practically glued to each other, you melted whenever you saw her! And second, you seemed to have a huge problem with her leaving, if I remember well: telling us constantly to go out and drink with you so you'd think about something else, calling Connie at four in the morning to ask him what news he had of her and let's not forget that day when you totally broke down and sobbed hysterically on Krista's shoulder for hours!"

"Yeah, yeah, stop mentioning it, damn it! Okay, I had my bad moments but I'm over it now, I don't even get what your point—"

"My point, Jean, is that someone who breaks down like that for his girlfriend's departure—"

"Don't use that term!"

"For the love of his life's departure, then," Marco corrects himself and ignores the death glare Jean shoots him, "can't be all cool and composed when said love of his life comes back."

"Okay, remember your words when I prove you wrong tonight!"

"It's not about proving me wrong and stop that act, lying never worked on me. It's about you and the fact that you'll see her tonight after the break-up and her leaving and all this drama you've gone through," his freckled friend raises his voice, which is really terrifying because when the always kind and thoughtful Marco raises his voice things are dead serious. "And because I remember how loving you were with each other…to be honest, I never understood why you two broke up in the first place."

Because I was a jerk. Because I used harsh words intentionally, because I wanted her to decide what she wanted to do without having to think about me and our relationship…Because she left totally hurt by me and I still didn't feel satisfied that she had followed her own wish!

"You know, because she'd leave and all, it didn't have any sense to…to continue." Jean replies and takes a large sip of his water to swallow the huge lie he just uttered. "Anyway, it's all in the past, Potato Girl's back, the planet continues spinning around its axis and life continues in its usual rhythms."

"'Usual rhythms'. Uh-huh." Marco says for the third time while shaking his head, wondering what on earth it will need to help his friend stop being so stubborn. Maybe seeing Sasha tonight will urge him either to tell her he never actually got over her or to clear things with her and at least get some closure if he's too scared of what her return will truly mean to him.

"It's great to have you back, Sasha!" Mina exclaims and hugs her brunet friend tightly, only to be followed by Krista and her equally tight hug. "Seriously, the group was missing its main source of fun while you were away."

"I missed you guys too, Mina." Sasha answers and looks around at the apartment she'll share from now on with her, living only next door to Krista and Ymir. "Connie's been telling me your news, but it's not the same."

"Yeah, well, he missed you too…and now we'll have our favorite pair of knuckleheads making our lives hell…just when I had gotten used to the quiet." Ymir scoffs, but the way she ruffles Sasha's hair is more playful than insulting.

"Ymir!" Krista scolds her before turning towards the newcomer. "So what are your plans from now on?"

"A major in Culinary Arts maybe." Sasha giggles and the three other girls chuckle, knowing that this major is literally made for her. "But I don't want to think about it yet, first of all I'm gonna sleep for two days!"

"No chance, we're throwing a party for you at the bar we always go to celebrate your return." Mina laughs, although she notices the glare Krista throws towards Ymir, who's grinning mischievously and looks ready to speak. "Everyone's really excited to see you again, Connie will be there, Marco, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Thomas, Reiner, Bertholdt and even Annie said she'd stop by…"

"And the horsefaced jerk of the group, Connie said he'll see to that even if he has to drag him there." Ymir adds and chuckles, but her blond roommate elbowing her and Mina frowning forces her to shut up, if only for two seconds. "Okay, okay, I get it, I never understood what Potato Girl found in him in the first place—"

"Ymir!"

"And, seriously, the guy's been acting like freaking Romeo, the way he bawled his eyes out, it was really sick, like watching a soap opera or something!"

"YMIR!" now both Krista and Mina exclaim and the latter points towards Sasha, who's avoiding all their eyes and has taken a particular interest on the wall across from her.

"For God's sake, the girl's just arrived, do you want to make her miserable?"

"Or do you wanna make her leave again?"

"I'm just saying, girls!"

"Then don't say!" Krista nudges her and then gives Sasha a comforting hug. "Hey, it's okay, everything will be fine…If you don't want to come tonight it's totally understandable."

"No, no, it's okay, no need to hide from everyone." Sasha takes a deep breath to muster all her bravery. "Let's go, it will be great to see everyone again!"

You're crazy! You're actually mental! Why the hell did you agree to this since you knew how hard it will be for you? she thinks hours later while getting ready for the night with her friends.

You were right; you can't hide just because he will be there. You have no reason to hide anyway.

No reason?! No freaking reason?!

He hurt you. He didn't care whether you'd leave or not.

But what Ymir said…

So that erases the words he said? The way he said them? The heartbreak he caused you, the endless tears?

"Sasha? Are you ready?" Mina knocks discretely on the door, sensing that her friend is also preparing herself emotionally.

Sasha sighs and throws a last look at the mirror. Half of her hair is tied, the rest falling loose past her shoulders and she's wearing a knee-length flowing black dress with small rose patterns on it. She gives the impression of being strong, mature, with knowledge of the world gained after traveling across the country for a year and yet that cheerfulness she always had. Mentally she's anxious, impatient, fidgeting and she feels her knees shaking, but as long as it's in her hands she won't show anything, even if she has to ignore Jean completely in order to achieve that.

"I'm ready, Mina."

Wings of Freedom is a club within the campus and a very popular place for young people to have fun: spacious, bathed in blue and white lights, a place also visited by the freshmen's mentors, who mingle with the students and have fun with them. Loud music booms through the speakers, the dance floor is filled and the two barwomen, Petra and Hannah, have their hands full as always.

"Here you are, everyone! Don't worry, Hanji hasn't spiked them with anything," Petra winks now as she hands them their drinks; Hanji, mentor of the Biology students, including Armin, Bertholdt, Reiner and Mina, is well-known for the crazy experiments she does in order to 'find out more about the way humans react to different substances' according to her. Spiking the drinks of this specific group—her 'favorite bunch of youngsters' as she calls them—is not rare and Connie smiles in relief at Petra's reassurance.

"Great, I don't want Sasha to experience that on her first day," he laughs, although his laughter doesn't only hold concern for his best friend, but also something teasing, as if he'd actually love to see the already-hyperactive Sasha drink one of Hanji's 'special treats'.

"I don't think it'd make that much of a difference, Connie," Reiner snickers and pats him on the back. "You know how she is, a spiked drink won't make it any worse."

"Thank God, I don't want to see your version of Sasha's 'worse'," Ymir shakes her head and locks her eyes on the dance floor, where Sasha is currently dancing with Krista, Mina, Armin and Eren. Soon, though, she notices that she's not the only one staring at the group; not wanting to ridicule Jean even more, she changes her stool so she can sit next to him. "I swear, Kirstein, if you don't do anything the next time you stare at her, I will be the one to spike your drink, maybe then you'll wake up."'

"Oh, mind your own business already!" Jean snaps at her and is tempted to push her away, but he doesn't want to risk losing an arm. "Why do you care who I'm staring at anyway?"

"Because sooner or later you guys will have to talk, unless you plan on dancing around each other, so if that's the case you better tell me now so I can stop talking to you crazy fools!"

"Oooh, who's dancing around each other?"

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! Jean musters all his strength to not facepalm because he's so unlucky that Sasha's chosen this exact same moment to join them, red-faced and breathing heavily from all the dancing. He sees Ymir ready to speak and, fearing what she's about to say, he quickly intervenes. "Oh, Bertholdt and Annie are dancing around each other, it's so obvious that the guy has a crush on her and yet he's so scared that he's not doing anything."

Congratulations, Kirstein, if you fail your Cinema Studies major then consider a career as an actor!

"I see." Sasha acknowledges his words with a nod and without sparing him a second look as she accepts a glass of water by Hannah and uses her hand as a fan for her heated up face.

She's so close to him he can hardly breathe and it's almost as if the arguments they had been having at the end of high school never happened; right now he feels so weird, as if they're back to the time when their relationship was truly perfect…and at the same time he wants to turn his back because he can sense the wall between them. Still, she's finally here after a whole year, grown-up, vibrant, glowing in the blue-white light of the club, warm and cold at the same time, a silent challenge towards him to make the first step. Ymir has 'mysteriously' disappeared and while Marco, Connie, Thomas, Annie and Mikasa are sitting on the stools right next to them, they seem to be in another world, as if Jean and Sasha are here on their own.

You conspiring bunch of evil midgets!

"So…how…how was it? Traveling around I mean, seeing new places, meeting new people…realizing you're fulfilling your dream?"

"Oh, now you want to know? Or are you simply playing nice?"

Ouch!

Jean gasps because this verbal attack hurts almost physically and Sasha isn't even looking at him, she's staring at the bottles on the shelves behind Petra and Hannah. The coldness she reflects right now is almost visible and the tension is so thick that it can be cut with a knife—and their friends still don't do anything to save them from this, as if they have decided that it's finally time, either for closure or for a rekindle.

What rekindle are you thinking about, Jean, don't you see how she is?

"Well, sorry for being interested in you experiencing something you always dreamed of!" he can't help it, the angry tone is automatic, it's his life-line, his strength; he will not back down that easily, not without defending his dignity and everything he told her back then. "If you don't wanna tell me just say it and I'll leave you in peace."

"Oh, that's right, turn your back away, Jean! The easy solution for you, right?" now Sasha does turn so her eyes can meet his, but now her expression is totally different from what Jean remembers: not sweet and loving, like it was when they were together, not completely indifferent like when they saw each other at the club's entrance, but so furious that it's as if her eyes are throwing flames at him.

"The easy solution for both of us, Sasha!"

"Since when?!"

Now they are looking at each other, standing so close that there's minimum distance between them, a torture for both of them and yet neither can step away. Sasha's stance yells that the old anger and hurt his words caused her hasn't faded, that she needs to clear things now, the first day of her return, because suppressing everything will drive her crazy and it will affect their friends as well. It's over Jean's strength; he can understand her, but it's too difficult for him to explain. The pain of her leaving and the way she left hasn't abandoned him completely, how much he's missed her…he longs to hug her and forget everything else, but he doesn't deserve that, not anymore.

"Sasha, trust me, it has no sense—"

"No! I won't do you the favor, Jean! You owe me an explanation! Now that I'm back, I need to know why everything had to happen like this."

"Fine! But not here!"

They enter Jean's room quietly to not disturb Marco, who returned with them, way too tired to stay with the others at the club. Sasha avoids his glance and stands in front of the window, staring at the city lights that illuminate the dark sky and seem to touch the horizon. It's good to be back; traveling has opened her mind and helped her grow up, but Trost is the place she will always call 'home', the place she wants to study and to live.

She can see Jean's figure being reflected on the window glass and she sighs, but doesn't turn to meet his eyes. It stings, the pain, the love and the anger dancing wildly in her mind, but she does her best to not show him anything. After all, she had made her point clear back then, announcing him her plans to leave temporarily and wanting to know his opinion. He had every right to know, despite the fact that she had made up her mind; they were a couple, he also had a say in this. And then his answer…she closes her eyes, because his words still echo in her ears.

He didn't care. Whether you'd stay or leave, he didn't give a single damn about you!

"How did things end up like that?" she utters and her voice holds both the pain and the anger. She's not yelling like she did at the club—after all it's time for them to truly talk—but her words are so intent that she could have been yelling anyway. She turns her back to the window and he's looking at her as if she's asking the most obvious thing in the world. "Are you satisfied with how we are now?"

"Satisfied? Now hold on a second!" Jean follows her example, speaking quietly and yet intently. "You were the one who wanted to leave, Sasha!"

"My departure isn't the only thing that led things at this point! You're the one who made me leave an hour earlier!"

"When did that happen?"

"When you told me you didn't care!"

Wait, what?!

Jean remembers his answer at her announcement too well. He had made clear that it was her decision to make, that he wouldn't stop her from following her wish. But he never, never told her that he didn't care, how can she even…

"You have to refresh my memory, Sasha, because I don't remember ever telling you—"

"Oh, really, you don't?" she scoffs and places her arms on her waist as she walks towards him. "When I told you I'd leave after graduation, didn't you tell me I was the only one who should decide what to do? Didn't you tell me that you were the last one to tell me what to do?"

"I did tell you all that, but how the freaking hell can you translate this as—"

"Well how should I translate it? I had announced to my one-year boyfriend that I would leave and he basically told me he didn't give a damn about whether I stayed or left, that it wouldn't make a freaking difference to him!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…what?"

Wait a sec, wait a freaking sec! She really thought…I had good intentions, I wanted her to decide independently and she had thought that I had said that because she meant nothing to me? All these arguments afterwards, the rage, the hurt are the results of a…misunderstanding?

"Do you have any idea what it felt like to hear that?"

"You didn't hear that, Sasha, you didn't, because I never meant that. Do you have any idea why I told you all that? Do you?"

"I just said it, because you didn't—"

"No! You got it wrong, Sasha! You got it all wrong!" Jean interrupts her and, if he weren't hurting so much for the both of them and everything that could have been avoided, he would burst out laughing at the irony of the situation. "Whatever I said, I said it exactly because I cared and still care too much!"

"What?!" Sasha gasps and now her eyes are so wide that look like an owl's. "Jean, what on earth do you—"

"I didn't want you to abandon your dream because of me! That's why I said it was your decision, because it was! It was your dream and I wanted you to follow it without having to worry about what I would say!"

Sasha leaves another gasp, not having thought about this…this is the last thing she expected to hear. His words strike her like a lightning…so he did care? The next moment, though, she stares at him with that fiery glare again. "So, what, you thought it would be easy for me to decide without knowing your opinion? Or did you think that you'd magically compel me to stay against my will or something? We were together for a year, Jean, I simply wanted to hear what you were thinking…and now you tell me that the tears I shed were for nothing? We argued every single time, Jean, every single time, we were both miserable, we didn't even hug anymore, for God's sake, I didn't even say goodbye properly…if that was what you meant why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was selfish!" Jean raises his voice, forgetting that Marco's sleeping right in the next room; since they've started talking, everything can be revealed.

Because I was hurting so much because of you leaving that I shut myself out, that I kept you in the dark…because I didn't want to hurt myself even more by admitting how much it hurt.

"What difference would it make anyway? Would you stay? Because that's exactly what I wanted to avoid, me keeping you here when you clearly wanted to go away."

"No, I wouldn't stay. But everything would be different, Jean. I'd communicate, you'd tell me news about your life, we'd find a way…you'd wait for me and I'd jump into your hug right after my return. And do you see the result of your vague words now?" Sasha's expression, temporarily softened, becomes wild once more—she' s still angry, but now her anger is towards Jean for not saying exactly what he meant and towards herself for not pushing him to explain before she left.

"What do you think I've been doing for a year now? I called Connie at stupid o'clock to ask him how you were every two days, Sasha!"

"Well I stopped asking Connie about you because I couldn't handle it, Jean!" Sasha replies and, in a sudden move, grabs his collar to make her point clear; Jean is so shocked that he can't even react. "I couldn't hear about the one I love because I thought it had no sense, for the first months I was crying out of the blue, sometimes I just drove the whole night so I wouldn't stop to rest because that made me think about you even more and all that because you were too afraid to tell me what was in your thoughts!"

"Speak to me, Jean! You didn't back then, so do it now! What was in your thoughts? Did you actually want me to leave?" she goes on before he can say anything without even bothering to release his collar from her grip.

"It doesn't matter now, right? You're back anyway and you did what you wanted to do, so stop—"

"Did you. Want me. To leave?" Sasha insists, a part of her still processing the fact that what Jean had wanted to say and what she had interpreted were complete opposites, but she won't drop it now, she'll receive an actual answer from him this time.

"I missed you every single day, okay? Not even the fact that it was what you wanted was enough for me, there were days I couldn't even stand up and go to college, it was like constantly being on the verge of a panic attack…"

Sasha's kiss interrupts him before he can finish his sentence, desperate and bittersweet and surprising even herself, but she is unable to move away from him; not that she has the chance to, anyway, because Jean kisses her back almost instantly and with the same passion, wrapping his arms around her in an almost possessive embrace. They don't know what they're doing, old feelings coming to surface with new force, combined with everything that has hurt them, together with the awareness that all this was basically for nothing. It feels like a lifetime since the last time they kissed, the last two months of their relationship was all about arguing and uttering harsh words and now it's like something new has started and like they're continuing from the moment they stopped a year ago.

"Stay the night, don't go." Jean whispers against her lips, a hand travelling up to caress her hair and God has he missed this gesture; a plea, not a demand, never a demand; the choice is hers, but he won't make the mistake to mislead her.

"I'm not leaving."

Sasha wakes up to the sound of rain falling, thunder being heard in the distance. She shivers slightly and rubs her eyes to chase away the sleepiness, spending a few moments taking in her surroundings: the T-Shirt she's wearing and which Jean gave her for the night, the warm blanket that creates a cocoon, Jean himself, still sleeping soundly, his chest against her back and his arm around her waist. A small smile appears on her face and for one second she feels she has returned to high school, how they used to wake up after a sleepover, Jean always complaining that she was claiming the blanket for herself.

She sighs and, no matter how much she misses the feeling of his hug, sits up and rests her back against the bed, hazel eyes traveling from the wall across from her to the window, filled with raindrops and the view covered from the mist, and then to Jean and how peaceful he looks as he sleeps, as if everything has come to place for him. Another sigh and she softly caresses his face with a finger, as if they're back to the first days of their relationship when everything was new…and, in a way, everything feels new.

Last night was intense for both of them, having turned from angry and hurtful to loving way too quickly, even when they were able to stop kissing each other every few seconds and went to bed. Some things have been cleared, Sasha can sense it because it's like a burden has been lifted from her, but there's still talking to be done, this time in calmer tones. For now, though, she allows herself some moments of quiet as she observes Jean's handsome features and recalls everything they have lived, pleasant and nasty…she still blames him for fearing to open up to her and herself for not insisting further.

And she loves him still.

That much is certain and she's not afraid to admit it. And she's also certain that the same goes for him; he didn't say the words yesterday but there was no need to, it was obvious in the way he held her and looked at her and whispered "Sweet dreams, Potato Girl" before falling asleep.

It seems that her tender movements have stirred him from his dreams, though, because he stretches to fully wake up and meets her eyes with glance cloudy from sleepiness and a lazy smile. "Good morning, Sasha."

"Morning, sorry I woke you. You can go back to sleep, it's still early," she says after throwing a look at the alarm clock, which reads eight in the morning.

"It's fine," he mumbles, holding her gaze for several moments before sitting up and cupping her cheek, but Sasha putting a hand on his arm stops him. He looks at her alarmed, as if fearing that she has changed her mind, that there's no chance for the two of them, but the warm and gentle way she looks at him calms him down.

"You do know that we still have to talk, don't you?" she wants to put this behind her, to close all wounds, only then can they find out what to do from now on.

"Yeah, I know…Can we just do the talking over breakfast?"

"Only if you tell me you still make those fantastic omelets," she winks and now he laughs; it feels like his first genuine laughter in weeks, if not in months.

"Of course, what did you think? You go splash some water on your face and I'll make you that omelet," Jean chuckles and presses a kiss on her forehead; chaste, hesitant, yet so sweet that Sasha feels like being sixteen years old and falling in love with him all over again.

When they sit down in the kitchen, a comfortable silence lingers between them for a few minutes as Jean takes a few sips of his coffee and Sasha attacks the omelet she has in front of her. In the end, it's her who breaks the silence; she has the feeling that Jean has said everything he wanted to say yesterday and, since she is the idiot who misunderstood everything in the first place, she is the one who has to speak first about the two of them.

"Listen, Jean…when I passed the sign that read 'Welcome to Trost' yesterday…I was totally angry—for the wrong reasons, I know that now—but, to be honest, I hoped that we would be able to…to pick up things from where they ended. Because for me they ended when we started arguing for the smallest and dumbest things and intentionally hurting each other, not when I left."

"Yeah, I agree."

"But, listen, if we want this to work, to truly work this time…Jean, you need to be clear to me about what you're thinking. I prefer a Jean who trusts me with his fears than a Jean who wears an emotionless mask in order to protect both me and himself." Sasha states; honestly, it's the only term she has and it's not even a term, it's a plea. "Trust doesn't mean weakness, Jean, I know you think that, but I won't laugh at you for being troubled or scared…I love you for who you are, your fears won't change that."

Jean nods before he even notices, gratitude, love and a sense of despair overwhelming him. Of course he'll be perfectly honest from now on…how Sasha has forgiven him and is willing to give them a second chance is beyond him, but he's learned from the past mistakes and there's no way he will repeat them. He takes her hand in his and gently kisses her knuckles, whispering "I promise"…and that's a more sincere I-love-you than if he had shouted it. Sasha lays her cheek on their joined hands, staring at him and smiling brightly, a promise of her own…to try harder for the two of them.

"Hey, I'm really glad that you guys are back together and it's surely an improvement from all the yelling you two did yesterday, but can you give me a warning before I have to witness a display of fluffiness?"

"You're crazy, Marco, you know that?"

"That's why I'm your best friend."

Oh, yes, Sasha thinks as she listens to the two boys teasing each other, definitely nice to be home.

A/N: Phew, that ended up longer than I had in mind :D Hope I didn't tire you, guys, and I hoped you liked the new one-shot with our favorite couple ;)