The Doctor looked down at the neuro blocker in Clara's hands. He could feel his hearts pounding against his rib cage like drums.
There was no way Clara reversed the function of the nero blocker the Doctor thought to himself.
However, despite that, he reached out the other end of the blocker towards his companion. Ashildr was right. Together, both he and Clara were just too dangerous. They would do anything to keep the other safe. It was better this way. Or so he tried to convince himself. The Doctor could still feel the knot in the pit of his stomach and hear the small voice at the back of his head telling him not to do it.
"Good luck Clara," he said.
"Good luck Doctor," she responded.
Such a simple phrase that held so much meaning. Together, they activated the nero blocker. The Doctor felt a bit of regret.
I should have been more careful he thought. Surely there could have been another way.
"So, what happens now?" asked Clara, an air of nervousness in her voice.
Before he could even respond, the Doctor began to feel a bit fuzzy in the head. He paid it no mind and replied, "So, um, we just wait a minute 'til one of us…"
"One of us…" Clara echoed.
The fuzziness in the Doctor's head caused him to become light headed.
"One of us will… I don't think I could ever forget you," said Clara.
A realization fell upon the Doctor as the sensation in his head became more potent.
"Clara, I don't think you'll have to," he said.
The neroblocker fell out of his hand as he tried to right himself, using the console as leverage.
"Run like hell," he said as he fell to his knees.
"What?" asked Clara, confused at the words leaving his mouth.
"Run like hell," the Doctor repeated. "Laugh at everything, cause it's always funny."
"No, stop it," said Clara. "You're saying goodbye. Don't saying goodbye."
The Doctor could hear the desperation in her voice but he continued, saying, "Never be cruel, never be cowardly, and if you are, always make amends."
"Stop it!" cried Clara as he fell onto the floor. "Stop! Stop it!"
The Doctor could already feel the effects of the nero blocker as memories began to fade from his mind.
The Doctor inhaled deeply and said, "Never eat pears. They're squishy and they always make your chin wet. That one's quite important, write it down."
"I never meant to do this, I'm sorry," she said, her voice quivering.
"It's okay," said the Doctor.
No it's not thought the Doctor but he pushed the thought from his mind.
"It's okay," the Doctor repeated. "I went to far. I broke my own rules. I became the hybrid. This is right. I accept."
"There has to be something I can do," said Clara, tears streaming down her face.
Clara, always so full of hope thought the Doctor.
"Smile for me," he said. "Go on Clara Oswald, one last time."
Clara smiled down at him but her eyes were full of sadness.
"How could I smile?" she asked.
"Don't you worry," said the Doctor. "I'll remember."
If Clara said anything else, he couldn't hear it because the darkness he had been fighting off had now consumed his mind as his head hit the floor.