Jackal's Charm

Yume Inochi

It is a very strange thing… To watch someone and feel for them. I had never felt such a feeling before. But that young man, who people called the jackal, was someone I felt deeply for. I could feel the sadness that ate away at his personage. I was engaged, but I felt nothing to the man to whom I was to be married. I had only met him thrice times, and his pleasantries were created from years of tutoring.

It was aggravating to feel more for a man I was scared to talk to than for the man I was to wed. I bothered me so much, until I finally worked up the courage to speak to the man named Sydney Carton. I was swift to catch the man, my cheeks some what red from a mixture of embarrassment and fear. "Um, excuse me… You are… Sydney Carton, I may presume?"

He stopped, and turned to face me, his dark eyes seeming to look so deeply into me. I lost myself in those eyes, until his soothing, quiet voice brought me from my adoring thoughts, "Yes. What of it?"

He was not the most refined man one could find, but the truth of his emotions was what had brought me to him. He was a magnetic force that pulled me from anything else. My cheeks were burning red, and I felt suddenly strange in my well-talored dress. Who was I, to intervene in his affairs? "I'm sorry… I… I don't know why, I just… I wished I could speak with you, that is all. I'm Lani Nephele… Well, not for much longer, but you interested me, and so I had to speak to you. My apologies if I interrupted something."

I curtsied to him, and turned to make my way back to my father's home. However, his curious, pleasant voice rang in my ears. "Well, if you want to talk. I suppose you can come to my home. I have tea there, but it isn't the cleanest place."

His words were cold, but the tone inviting, and although I knew it was not proper I turned back around, and followed him home. I was drawn to him, the jackal named Sydney Carton.

I closed the door behind my figure as I entered the unkept home. Papers were visible in every corner of the room, and a light smile touched my lips. He was adamant about his work, whether people noted him for it or not. I watched as he quickly made room for me to sit, and carefully I made my way over to the location.

I sat down and idly smoothed down my dress, unsure what to say. He didn't seem to mind much, pulling up a paper and reading over it, pen in one hand. His calm demeanor was relaxing me for some reason. "Mr- Hmm… No… Umm, I wanted to talk to you… Because… Because you have such deep emotions, a-and they draw me in."

He raised one eye up from the paper, a curious look on his handsome features. "You do realize, M'lady Lani, that rumors will spread, since you have chosen to come here. You should also realize that there is very little I could ever offer you, to a woman who is already engaged."

My cheeks burned scarlet. I knew he spoke the truth. I knew that even if I broke the engagement and I turned to him, I could not hold a high end lifestyle. Even so, I preferred this man who spoke freely, and cared not if he became a social outcast. "Yes… I know. Even so, I like even to simply talk with you. Something about you shows kindness, and I can hardly stand the polite show my… My fiancée uses when speaking to anyone. I… If nothing else, I want to be able to converse with you regularly, Mr. Carton."

He moved his body, resting on his seat like a relaxed predator, just having had a meal. "Then, please, call me Sydney. If conversation is what you want, there are many better suited for such things. Besides, a lady should not be such an individual in this era. I suggest you find a conversational partner that your family would approve of."

My fists wanted to clench, but instead I smoothed my dress, responding slowly, "Then, at least come to my wedding. I have no say in such a matter, but I want you to be there, S-Sydney."

I was acting rash, out of line for my social stature. I didn't care though. I had already laid myself bare to him. I noted the small smile present on his features, and relief flooded through me as I got to my feet, curtsied, and excused myself. I don't know why, but I had fallen for the young jackal.

Whenever I had free time, I would steal myself to the jackal's den, and there we would converse. He spoke little, and so I seemed to speak at him more than anything, but when something caught his interest in my ramblings he would lift those deep eyes over whatever paper he was working on, and input a comment.

At one time, late in the evening when I had gone for a stroll, and found myself at his doorstep I had found the man of my adoration engrossed in his work. His dark hair was in shambles, falling about his upset and bothered face as he leered down at a paper.

"Sydney? What is it? Are you alright?" He did not hold one of his normal expressions, and so I had to ask. I was bothered by the upset face he wore, and the fact that he did not notice my entrance. When he looked up, he seemed bewildered, and quickly hid his face behind a paper.

"Yes, I'm fine."

His words were empty. Slowly I made my way around the papers to stand next to him, looking over his shoulder at the paper in his grasp. It looked normal to my eyes, and so I was careful as I worked my way over new territory into his life. "Sydney? This doesn't look like something upsetting. So, what has upset you?"

I lightly touched his shoulder, only to have him pull away. "Nothing is the matter, my superior was just here to speak to me."

I could tell. His voice was pained. Slowly, I slipped to sit next to him on the cushion, watching his features intently. Since meeting the man, I had grown more to be my own person, and my ability to do as others say was slowly draining from me. "Sydney. You can tell me. I wish to assist you whenever I may."

He slowly looked at me, allowing the pained expression to show on his face. "He came to bother me again about how insufferable I am."

It hurt me to hear such a thing. This man who held his emotions so close to him, and no matter how he acted, he did care about every word spoken to him. "If you were insufferable, I would not spend as much time with you as I do…"

He chuckled sourly, turning his gaze to the low ceiling, "You should not spend your time with someone who does not try to attain anything higher in life. You should spend time with that soon to be husband of yours."

I didn't like hearing that. "Fine then… But… But you better come to the wedding in two days. I want you to be there!"

It was foolish of me, to run out like that, in the middle of the night. I ran back home, and I hid in my room. I did however leave him alone for those two days. Never did I tell him, what worries I held in my breast those two days. Nor did I tell him how I ate nothing for those two days as I awaited the fated day of my torment, praying he would come.

On the awaited day of my wedding, everyone seemed eager, but I wanted to run away. My amber eyes scanned the surroundings, searching for the jackal, Sydney Carton, as I walked. I didn't want this. I spotted him. He stood at the door way, his eyes watching me fondly. I was so weak, I watched him as things were spoken, and when I was to say yes… I couldn't bring myself to say the words. "…No… No, I won't marry this man."

Everyone seemed shocked. I didn't care, I wanted Sydney. I dropped what I had, pushed aside the ring, and ran to him. His eyes were wide in surprise, and I hugged him tightly, whispering, "I'm glad you came, Sydney… Now please get me out of this accursed place."

He complied, and took me to his home. I was so glad… I never told him that I was sick… I never told him any of it until it became noticeable. It was too bad, because I adored that man. His quiet nature, and the feelings he kept hidden. I was fine as long as he was there. It was too bad though, that I couldn't stay by his side… It was too bad, my body failed, and I had to leave him all alone, in a world that shunned him.

God, I feel like such a bookworm for putting this up. Ah well, I wrote this when I was reading A Tale of Two Cities, and the Jackal, Sydney Carton, and original idea all belong to the wonderful Charles Dickens. Please give me all the constructive criticism you can. The idea for this came form one line in the story, about how Sydney had only opened up to one other person before Lucie Manette. So, no, this is not something completely random.