SINJIN'S LOVE MACHINE

A/N: I do not own Victorious, but I do own a TV. Hooray for me! Also, if you're somebody who likes ships, they're pretty much all going to be in this story somewhere...

Sinjin Van Cleef was a strange boy, but at least he knew it. He just figured he was an eccentric, destined to be widely acknowledged as a genius when he was older and his talents became clear. Still, he thought, it would be nice to be noticed now, in high school. They were supposed to be the best days of your life, after all.

He wished Jade would notice him. He considered Tori's gang to be close acquaintances, but had accepted that Tori, Cat and Trina would never be interested in him. They were all too perfect and smiley. Jade was different - she was messed up, dark and vicious. As far as Sinjin was concerned, she was meant to be his, and now she was no longer with Beck? Well...Sinjin spent all his free time thinking of how he could win her heart...and mostly her lips.

As he considered the dilemma and doodled Jade's name on his notebook over and over again, his phone pinged. A text from Luther, his janitor buddy.

"Found something for you in the trash. Looks kind of geeky, you'll probably like it. Pick it up tomorrow."

'Something geeky?' Sinjin pondered. He hoped it was better than it sounded, as he drifted off to sleep.

/

"Here you go, kid," Luthur said gruffly, handing Sinjin a hunk of pink plastic and metal the next morning.

The boy was unimpressed. "Looks pretty girly. What is it?"

The janitor shrugged and carried on with his work.

Sinjin turned the device over and over in his hands. It was sort of like a T.V. remote, rectangular in shape and with two large red buttons on top. The boy sighed as he slid down the wall to sit by his locker, frowning as he studied the object. So this was what he came early to school to see?

Meanwhile other students began to arrive, all oblivious to the strange boy's presence - as usual. Cat, Robbie Tori and Jade came to Tori's locker right by him, chatting.

"So you guys still busy with your English projects, or are you gonna meet me and Andre at lunch?" Tori asked.

"I never miss lunch!" Cat squealed. "Well, there was this one time when my brother-"

"-We'll be there," Robbie finished for her.

Jade rolled her eyes and sarcastically replied, "Can't wait."

Tori folded her arms. "Y'know Jade, you don't have to hang out with us."

"Believe me, Vega, if I had any other choice, I wouldn't," she said pointedly.

Sinjin was pressing the buttons on the remote and nothing was happening. Of course nothing was happening, he thought, it's a piece of junk. But as he was about to give up, Cat skipped into the remote's range and the button Sinjin was pressing glowed for a moment, and it emitted the sound of angelic harps.

Cat looked confused for a moment (even more than usual), but then she looked at Robbie. Her eyes glittered and a dopey grin appeared on her face as she tugged at her skirt shyly. "Oh Robbie. I never realised how hot you are before."

Tori and Jade stopped their bickering and stared at Cat, dumbfounded. Robbie's jaw dropped open.

Cat fluttered her eyelashes and delicately placed one hand on Robbie's waist while the other caressed his arm. "Do you think you and me could ever be girlfriend and boyfriend?" she asked, biting her lower lip.

Robbie's mouth moved but nothing came out other than barely audible squeaks.

"What the hell, Cat?" Jade spluttered, not quite able to believe what she was seeing.

Tori was equally flummoxed. "I didn't even know you liked Robbie...like that. Not that there's anything wrong with it or anything."

"Of course there's something wrong with it!" Jade snapped. "He's Robbie freakin' Shapiro!"

"And I love him," Cat giggled, tugging the helpless boy towards her, and putting him directly in range of Sinjin and the remote he was still pressing.

The button glowed again. The harps played. And a goofy look of adoration swept across Robbie's face as he gazed back at Cat.

"I love you too, Kitty Cat," he murmured, closing the gap between their lips.

Their friends gasped. Sinjin did a double take and stopped messing with the gadget, staring at the couple as they kissed awkwardly, their lips smacking together and their hands unsure where to rest.

"Am I seeing this?" Tori asked, totally freaked out. "Is this happening?"

Cat pulled Robbie's waist towards hers and the boy responded by tugging the redhead's sweater up over her head, and beginning to fumble under her shirt.

Jade's eyes widened. "Hey!" she yelled. "This isn't the Twilight Zone! STOP THAT!"

She marched over and tried to prize Robbie from Cat, and then Cat from Robbie, but it was no use. They were too involved in their make out session.

"I said STOP!" Jade growled angrily, not used to not being immediately obeyed by her two friends.

She managed to prize herself between the two of them, but to her horror they continued on as if she wasn't even there, desperately trying to reach each other's lips but catching Jade instead, pressing her between their writhing bodies.

"VEGA!" she screamed as Tori just stood and watched, frozen. "Help me, you idiot!"

She reached out and Tori grabbed her hand, pulling her out of the couple's reach.

Jade panted, trying to compose herself. "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" she roared.

"I think you just...got sandwiched. It was like they didn't even notice you," Tori stammered.

"No chizz," the angry girl responded, trying to spit the taste of Robbie's tongue from her mouth.

Beck casually sauntered over. "Hey Tori. Jade..." he frowned, taking his ex's appearance, "...Why do you have lipstick on your cheek?" he asked, amused.

Jade glared at him, wiping her sleeve across her face and then pointing at Cat. "Ask them!"

Beck looked over, and almost took a step back in surprise when he saw what was going on. "Whoa," he said simply, astounded. "When did this happen?"

"Pretty much just now," Tori explained. "It's like they were taken over by aliens or something."

"I feel violated..." Jade shuddered.

As they kissed animatedly, Robbie was still fumbling around trying to get Cat's shirt off. Cat, meanwhile, had started undoing Robbie's belt.

"Hey!" Beck frowned, deciding to step in. Cat was like a little sister to him, and he was finding himself more and more uncomfortable with the way she was acting. Robbie too was acting way out of character. He shoved him away from Cat with just enough force to make him stagger back, and then pushed him against the lockers by Sinjin.

"What's going on here?" Beck demanded. "Are you guys rehearsing for some erotic play we don't know about?"

Robbie guffawed dreamily. "I wish!"

"We love each other," Cat tapped Beck's shoulder.

"Since when?"

Cat frowned for a moment. "I don't know. Since a few minutes ago, I guess..."

"This is insane!" Tori stated as she grabbed Cat's shoulders and forced her to look at her. "You can't just suddenly fall in love with someone for no rational reason. You guys are friends, not...make out buddies."

"If we got married, would you accept our love?" Cat asked, her head on one side.

"No!" Tori burst out angrily.

The three bells rang, signaling first period.

"We should probably go to class," Robbie stated rather obviously, breaking away from Beck and linking hands with Cat.

Beck, Tori and Jade followed them, totally in shock.

Sinjin stood up and looked at his remote. Did I do that? Did this remote make Cat and Robbie fall in love? It's the only explanation he could come up with. He smiled. If it could make Cat fall in love with Robbie, then it could make Jade fall for him.

A/NII: If you review, you will save a kitten.*

*This is not a guarantee.