Title: My Name Is
Rating: PG
Characters: RAFO (Read and find out)
Word Count: 968
Summary: Konoha has its share of secret societies.
Author's Notes: For those of you that skipped class, a kunoichi is the term for a female ninja, and an izakaya is a type of restaurant where food and alcohol are served in small portions over a long period of time. Kunoichi are cool. Izakaya are cooler.

Twelve folding chairs sat in a circle, facing inwards. They were the only furniture occupying the small room. A large bank of windows on the south wall filled the room with midmorning sunlight, making motes of dust seem to dance through the air.

A deadbolt clicked, and a door swung open. Through the door marched a motley collection of people, formed in little knots of two or three. Each cell gave off a muffled chatter of voices. Many of the group wore the olive-green vest of chuunin ninjas. Others wore simple business clothes. Still others were wrapped in fashions as distinctive as the people who wore them. They spread around the circle and eleven of the twelve took chairs.

The twelfth, a woman with long blonde hair, who was wearing something that looked like a green bathrobe over a karate gi, stood in front of the last chair and clapped her hands briskly. The others all fell silent and turned their attention to her.

"Okay, okay. Quiet, all of you. You all know the drill, here. Let me read this stupid.. whatever you call it... Then we'll get started."

The look on the woman's face was peevish, as if she didn't really want to be here. She glanced to her right, where a younger dark-haired woman sat, holding a pig. The younger woman shot her a look, and the speaker sighed heavily. She fished a small notepad from a pocket in her robe and flipped it open with a flick of her wrist. Bringing the notepad closer to her face, she began to read out loud.

"Alcoholic Ninjas Anonymous is a fellowship of shinobi and kunoichi who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.N.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.N.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholic ninjas to achieve sobriety." The speaker glared at the paper for a moment, and then flipped forward a page. She gathered her breath, and delivered the next in a rush. "God-grant-me-the-serenity-to-accept-the-things-I-cannot-change, the-courage-to-change-the-things-I-can, and-the-wisdom-to-know-the-difference."

The speaker twisted her mouth as if she'd swallowed something sour, and turned to the woman next to her again. The younger woman nodded briskly, and the speaker sighed as if a great burden had just been lifted from her shoulders. "Thank GOD, that's over. Well, my name is Tsunade-"

A loud chorus of, "Hi, Tsunade," burst from the circle of seated members. The green-robed woman seemed slightly taken aback, and took a moment to collect herself before continuing. "...Tsunade, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for three months."

The dark-haired woman shot a glare at Tsunade, and the pig she was holding squealed as her arms constricted involuntarily. "You have NOT. I saw you sneaking a bottle of sake into your office two weeks ago!"

Tsunade turned back toward the younger woman, her expression a mix of anger and anxiety. "That wasn't...! Shizune, I swear..!" A strangled groan came from the older woman, and she tore her eyes away, looking at the rest of the circle again. "Okay, okay. I'm Tsunade an-"

"Hi Tsunade!"

"Aagh! Okay, and I've been sober for two weeks!" She shot another look at Shizune, half ire, half pleading.

Shizune smiled indulgently and motioned for Tsunade to sit down. "Asuma, would you mind taking over for now?"

The scruffy jounin nodded and put his hands on his knees, pushing himself to his feet. "All right, everyone. My name is Asuma-"

"Hi, Asuma!"

"-and I'm an alcoholic. This morning I'd like to have us think about Step Eight: listing the people we've harmed and becoming willing to make amends for what we've done. I know, I feel like I've hurt people. Back a few years ago, I slipped up during a mission. Me an' Gai were supposed to go out to the Wave Country. They were having problems with the Country of Water, and they wanted to send a diplomatic envoy to help smooth out some of those problems. We were supposed to escort him. But the envoy wanted to get to know Gai an' me, so he took us out to an izakaya. We wound up drinking together, and… to make a long story short, we went and did some karaoke and I wound up kicking Gai in the neck at two in the morning 'cause I thought he was some Sound ninja sent to do me in by shattering my eardru..." Asuma's voice faded into a long cough as he looked around the circle anxiously. "Yeah, anyway. Would anyone else like to share?"

Shizune was cradling the pig under one arm, and stabbing a finger violently at Tsunade with her free hand. She shot a look at Asuma that made it very clear what would happen to him if he didn't get Tsunade to talk.

"Tsunade!" Asuma's voice sounded unnaturally cheerful. "You look like there's something you're itching to tell us about! Please, don't let me stop you!" He crashed back into his chair and folded his hands in his lap.

Tsunade stood, reluctantly. "Well, I guess maybe there was a time..."

Shizune's voice was sweet, but with an underlying tone like ringing steel. "Tsunade, what do you say when you stand up at the meeting?"

"I already said it, Shizune." Tsunade sounded a little exasperated.

Shizune asked again, just as sweetly. "What do you say, Tsunade?"

"I TOLD you, Shizune, I already-"

"SAY IT!" The pig squealed in pain.

"MynameisTsunadeandI'manalcoholic!"

"Hi, Tsunade!"

"Aaaaaagh!"

Look at me! I don't own Naruto!

Also, I'm going through and changing all the KOST chapters to put a summary at the beginning. Lots of thanks to Celeste1's excellent "Bleach Drabbles" for the format!