So I decided to twist the meaning behind omon gon oson a little bit. It is explained later in the chapter.
Bellamy was ashamed to admit that when he had first found out he hadn't been excited. He was happy, of course he was but underneath that happiness was fear. Fear of what would happen if, once again, they were threatened by starvation or sickness or war. Fear that he wouldn't be good enough. Fear that the other Arkadians would do when they found out.
Not necessarily hurt them, but shame them, shun them, force them to live the way Octavia had for the first sixteen years of her life and Bellamy didn't want that, not for his child.
His child.
It was still hard to believe that it was real, even after knowing for almost a month.
Clarke was pregnant.
He should have been thrilled. This wasn't the Ark, Bellamy and Clarke wouldn't be floated for having a baby even though they weren't married, and they wouldn't be living as Bellamy had on the poorer parts of the Ark, with barely enough ration points to feed two people. No, this wasn't the Ark.
This was Earth. They were still fighting to survive and their supplies were limited, perfectly rationed so that each person had enough to keep them functioning. Another person in Arkadia would mess that up and Skaikru wouldn't let Bellamy and Clarke's child forget that. Just like on the Ark, when the others found out, Bellamy and Clarke would be met with grim smiles and forced congratulations.
Some people, like their friends, would be genuinely happy for them but others wouldn't because another person in the camp meant fewer resources for themselves. Another person meant a burden.
The thought made Bellamy seethe. Even Clarke's own mother, who they had turned to when Clarke had gotten so sick even she was concerned, had congratulated them through her teeth and left the infirmary without another word. No child should have to grow up like that, where they weren't wanted, even by their own flesh and blood.
"Hey, are you ok?"
Bellamy was pulled out of his thoughts by Miller, who was walking back to the dorms with him from guard patrol. He nodded. "Yeah, just tired." Bellamy knew from the look on his friends face that he didn't believe him but to his relief, Miller let it go, clapping him on the shoulder as they reached the door to Bellamy's dorm.
"Alright man, get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." Bellamy nodded, watching as Miller walked down the hallway and, once he was out of sight, punched in the code to unlock the door. It slid open soundlessly and what he saw made him smile. Clarke stood in front of the mirror, her shirt lifted above her stomach and a mixture of wonder and love on her face. Abby had determined that she was about three months along and now, at almost four, she was just barely beginning to show.
"Hey," he said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her so his hands were on her belly. "How are you feeling? You were pretty sick when I left this morning." Clarke leaned back against him, meeting his eyes in the mirror. "I'm ok." She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "We missed you today."
Bellamy smiled and kneeled in front of her, placing a kiss on her stomach between his hands. "Hi baby, it's your dad." His voice was quiet. "I can't wait to meet you."
After a moment, he stood. "We need to think about telling people."
Clarke sighed. "I know."
She stared at the wall behind his head, thinking. "I think we should start with Octavia and our friends."
Bellamy groaned at the prospect of telling his sister. "She's going to kill me."
Despite his fear of being brutally murdered and never seen again, Bellamy went on a hunting patrol with Octavia, Lincoln, Miller, and Murphy the next day, trying to figure out how he was going to tell them. The fact that Octavia knew how distracted he was didn't help his nerves and he had led them in a circle for the second time when she called him on it.
"Ok, what's going on with you? This is like, the third time we've passed this tree," she gestured at it with her sword. "Which means you're either lost or something is bothering you so what the hell?" She raised her eyebrows expectantly, and he had absolutely no idea what to say. It still amazed him how, despite how much had changed, she still knew him so well.
The words tumbled out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them. "Clarke's pregnant. We're having a baby." For a moment his friends said nothing, just stared at him in complete and utter shock, and Bellamy felt his heart twist.
Please. He silently pleaded with them. Please be happy for us. It wasn't until that moment that he realized how badly he wanted it, how badly he wanted something in his life to be normal for once. He thought they were going to let him down when suddenly his sister, carrying a massive sword and decked out in Grounder gear, let out an ear-piercing squeal.
"Oh my God, I'm going to be an aunt!" She launched herself at her brother, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Bellamy this is amazing." Over her shoulder, he could see the guys grinning and Murphy mouthed 'congratulations' when they made eye contact.
"Wait," Octavia said, pulling away from him. "How long have you known?"
Bellamy froze. He was in trouble.
"Um…." he scratched the back of his head. "About a month."
To his surprise, when Octavia took a swing at him, it wasn't at his face but at his shoulder. "A month!" she cried. "You've known for a month and you haven't told me?" She continued to rain blows down on him, but Bellamy could tell she wasn't really mad.
As they walked back to Arkadia, a deer and a handful of squirrels and rabbits between them, Murphy fell into step beside him.
"So, a baby huh?"
"Yeah." He readjusted his pack on his shoulder. "When are you and Raven going to have one?"
Murphy snorted. "Yeah, right. Me with a kid? You're hilarious Blake, you really are."
Bellamy knew he was trying to be funny, but there was something in his voice that made Bellamy think there was something Murphy wasn't saying. All of a sudden, Murphy sighed. "We may be on the Ground but nothing's changed," he said, echoing Bellamy's thoughts from the day before. "They were barely willing to let us back into camp and we were already there. There's no future for a kid in Arkadia."
He stopped, suddenly remembering who he was talking to and put his hand on Bellamy's shoulder. "But I'm happy for you man. You guys deserve something good, after everything…." Bellamy smiled slightly, but it wasn't as sincere as he would have hoped because the fear was back. The fear that Murphy was right.
It was still running through his head as he sat by the fire later that night and Lincoln came to sit beside him, handing him a mug of something warm that smelled strongly of liquor. "Shouldn't you be with Clarke?" he asked as Bellamy took a swig from his mug. "She's asleep. Today wasn't one of her best."
Lincoln nodded and it wasn't until his mug was almost empty that he spoke again. "I heard what Murphy said to you today, about there being no future for a child in Arkadia." He paused, waiting for Bellamy to get upset or defensive. He didn't.
"Octavia told me what it was like on the Ark, why she lived under the floor, why your mother was executed." His voice had a bitter edge but his face remained passive.
"In my village, when a child is born we celebrate. Everyone, in the weeks leading up to the birth gives something to the family." He was smiling, staring down at his hands as if he could see the memories clearly mapped out in the lines of his palms. Bellamy wondered how a man who had so many scars could have so many happy memories, especially about the people who had given them to him.
"The day the child is born, the entire village feasts and we have a saying; Omon gon oson." Bellamy thought of the Trigedasleng Clarke had taught him. "All of me for all of us?" Lincoln nodded and for a moment, Bellamy was pleased that he had translated it correctly.
"As a village," Lincoln continued. "We promise to live together, to give everything we are to protect each other. Omon gon oson is our way of promising that to the child, assuring them that they are one of us, that they are wanted, that this is their home."
Bellamy stared at him. "Why are you telling me this?"
For the first time since he sat down, Lincoln looked him in the eyes. "Octavia and I are getting a group together. Starting our own camp." Bellamy looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Where are you going to go?"
"Back to the dropship." He glanced across camp to where Octavia sat in the dining hall with Monty and Jackson, three dark heads bent over a weathered piece of paper. "We don't belong here anymore." As much as Bellamy wanted to deny it, Lincoln was right. The Ark had never been home for either of the Blakes, but the dropship camp had.
Even though the delinquents had their fair share of struggles, they found their place on the ground. They weren't dreading waking up in the morning because each new day meant they were one step closer to their execution. They weren't constantly looking over their shoulders because the Council would find any reason, no matter how small, to put them in the Skybox. On the ground they were free.
"I saw you in the camp," Lincoln said. "You were happy there, you and Clarke. Come with us." Bellamy pressed his lips into a thin line. He wanted nothing more than to take Clarke and their things and leave but he knew better. Abby was in Arkadia and he knew that she wasn't going to come with them. She had proven when she turned her husband in to the Council and sent Clarke to the Ground to die that she would always choose her people. Once a Council member, always a Council member.
Lincoln nodded and stood, seeming to understand his dilemma. "Think about it. We leave in two days. And get some sleep you look like hell." Bellamy laughed despite himself as Lincoln walked away. It was probably the first time he had heard him make a joke. Though he was right. Bellamy was exhausted.
With a sigh, he finished off his drink and walked towards his room, kicking his shoes off once he was inside and throwing himself down on the bed, only remembering that Clarke was asleep when he hit the mattress with a thud.
Clarke's eyes flew open and he saw her go for the gun on the bedside table before she relaxed, curling into his side. "Well hello to you too." He immediately put his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."
"S'okay," Clarke said with a yawn. "I wanted to be awake when you came back. I haven't seen you all day." When he didn't respond, she propped herself up on her elbows, concern written in the lines of her face. "What's wrong?"
"Octavia and Lincoln are leaving."
Her eyes widened in shock. "What?"
"They're getting a group together and going back to the dropship, starting their own clan. From what it sounds like, a lot of people are on board." He paused, allowing her to process but, as always, she was one step of him. "You think we should go with them."
For a second he thought about lying, thought about saying that if she wanted to stay it was ok with him, but he knew that she would see right through it so he nodded. Clarke bit her lip, considering. "I think you're right."
Bellamy gasped, feigning surprise. "What's this? Did Clarke Griffin just admit that I was right? Oh my God, this is too much." He laughed as Clarke scoffed and punched him on the shoulder.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked, suddenly serious. "What about your mom? I mean, she's your family-"
"Bellamy," Clarke cut him off. "You're my family too, you and our baby."
"So you want to go?" she nodded "Yeah." He leaned up and kissed her then, soft and slow. He remembered a time when he thought he would be happy with having every girl he could want on his arm, night after night of one night stands, doing whatever the hell he wanted. Now, laying there with Clarke, he couldn't imagine wanting anything else.
"I love you," he said, his voice barely a whisper. "I love you too." Clarke smiled and laid her head back on Bellamy's chest. "Tell me a story. About the new camp." Bellamy grasped her hand where it lay on his stomach, drawing circles on the back of it with his thumb.
"We'll have a cabin all to ourselves. Close enough to the infirmary that you could get there quickly if someone needed you but far enough away so no one else could hear us if we wanted to…." his voice trailed off suggestively and Clarke smacked him on the chest. "Ok, ok I'm sorry." He put his hands up in surrender before continuing.
"I'll build it and let you lose on the walls so you can paint whatever you want. There will be a garden, where you can grow all your medicinal herbs and whatever. It'll be completely ours." He paused to clear his throat. "We'll get married in the summer in the butterfly fields and everyone will be there to see it. There will be space around the camp where our kids can play. O and Lincoln can teach them how to fight, you can show them everything you know about medicine and art, and I can teach them how to shoot. Raven will probably insist they know something about mechanics-"
"You're pretty confident that I'll say yes. And that we're having more than one." Clarke interrupted causing Bellamy to roll his eyes. "You love me."
She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "I do." then motioned for him to continue.
"We'll watch them grow up, see who they become; warriors or leaders or mechanics…. Or holy terrors." Clarke laughed and Bellamy could tell that she was falling asleep.
"And every day, I'll make sure to take care of you. Make sure you're eating and not falling asleep at your desk-"
"It was one time!" Clarke exclaimed and Bellamy jokingly shushed her. "Do you want me to tell the story or not?" she nodded "But more importantly, I'll remind you every day how amazing you are, how beautiful and strong. I'll remind you how much I need you and love you, and I'll keep reminding you for the rest of my life."
He could feel her smile against his chest and pulled her closer, his eyelids drifting closed as exhaustion took its toll. "It sounds perfect," she said. A moment later she was asleep and though he knew she couldn't hear him, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, whispering softly. "It will be."