"I love you," Sebastian blurts out, unable to hide his feelings any longer. Immediately Sebastian regrets saying it because the reaction is not one that he wants. Not at all. And it's not as if he could ever expect for an "I love you too." It just would have been nice.
"Sebastian," Kurt whispers with a sad smile, heartbroken almost...? But Sebastian is only fooling himself. Kurt doesn't have feelings for him and he never will.
Sebastian turns away from Kurt. He's furious with himself. How could he have sacrificed his way of life for this stupid boy? Never fall in love. Who needs it? Sebastian remembered saying this after watching his parents file a painful divorce after his father had cheated. The truth was that love didn't exist. It never could or would. But this one time, Sebastian had told himself that it did.
Sebastian feels like running away from Kurt. He wishes that this never happened. But Kurt is still there behind him and Sebastian can't deny that he's still in love with him.
Maybe it wasn't always this way. It began with snarky comments and comebacks, but it soon evolved into talks about pain and comfort. What Sebastian felt around Kurt... He could not explain it. It just felt wonderful, breathtaking, loving.
But that last one was never true and still isn't. Kurt Hummel is not in love with Sebastian Smythe. Kurt Hummel is in love with Blaine Anderson. And as much as this pains Sebastian, this is the truth. It can't be denied any longer. Any school boy fantasy Sebastian foolishly dreamt in his head is gone, over, dead.
What have you done? Sebastian asks himself while feeling his heart drop to his stomach.
"Sebastian," Kurt's voice says behind him, but this time it's much gentler. Almost pitiful.
"Shut up," Sebastian mutters more to himself that Kurt.
"What?" Kurt asks tenderly. And Sebastian can't help but feel furious with him too. Leading him on like that... What was he thinking?
"Shut up," Sebastian says louder this time, but only a his voice is empty. All of his emotions have dissolved to nothing. "Shut up."
"Sebastian..." Kurt says with confusion. But Sebastian doesn't turn around or look back. Kurt became his confidant, his friend... For a second, Sebastian had thought - No. Stop it. It's over now. It never even began.
Sebastian feels Kurt's hand brushing against his shoulder, but it feels poisonous to Sebastian. Flinching, Sebastian moves away and says bitterly, "Nothing. Go back to your little boyfriend. Forget everything I said."
And just like that, three months of intimacy and comfort vanished. Sebastian felt so distant from Kurt. It was as if they were strangers again and he wanted to keep it that way. No way, no how would Sebastian think or see him ever again.
Sebastian is just leaving when Kurt grabs him by the shoulder and says his name. "Sebastian."
"Is that all you can say?" Sebastian responds coldly, still turned from him.
"Just stop for a second - "
"No," Sebastian says, feeling the emotions of pain, hurt, rage, and love all flooding back into him. "No, Kurt. You can't do this to me anymore. You can't keep leading me on, making me think that you love me so I can love you too. You're just - "
But Sebastian can't saying anything else. His throat closes up and he shrugs Kurt's hand off his shoulder.
"But I - "
And silence follows. Sebastian wonders how much time passes. It feels like an eternity before Kurt speaks up again because Sebastian can't. He knows anything he says will only make him more foolish than he already is.
"You're wrong," Kurt says. "About everything. If you're just going to forget everything from these past few months, then fine. But I won't. Because they meant something to me, Sebastian. I - "
"Just stop," Sebastian says in a defeated voice, his hands curling into fists. "This was just a waste of time. A mistake. That's what it was. You were a mistake."
When Sebastian walks out, Kurt stands with a heartbroken face. But Sebastian wouldn't know. Sebastian didn't even take one look at Kurt to know that Sebastian was wrong, about everything. And if Sebastian slowed down just a little bit he would have heard Kurt say brokenly, "I love you, too."