You sigh walking through the house. Your kids home, all four, all spitting images of JJ, God you miss her. It's been less than a week since JJ's death, the funeral is tomorrow. Morgan would stop by later, this your sure of. Rossi had just left; Reid, Hotch and Hailey all stopped by but couldn't look at you. It hurt too much to think that JJ was actually dead. You had gotten the story quickly, you wish you hadn't.

"You must be Emily Prentiss, the doctor said you'd be down here soon." The woman never took her eyes off the coroner. "I'm sorry for your loss, I'm so sorry it was my son's fault. They say his truck was doing 90 when he crashed…" She turned and looked at you all red eyed, and literally a wreck all by your lonesome. "The last thing he said to me was 'I wish you and Jesus would get off my back'. I prayed when he crashed, I should've stopped him." You had gone down the stairs expecting to yell at the person, to hate them, but you ended up wrapping her in a hug and crying right along with her.

You looked in on Rodney, the youngest Jareau-Prentiss. At 4 you didn't really expect for him to understand that his mommy would never come home ever again, but there he was looking out his window into the night, clutching a tear stained photo of JJ. When you go t over to him, picking him up you rock him back and forth. letting him cry into your neck till he falls asleep. You didn't know what to say, what do you say? So you tuck him back in and walk out of the room you have no idea how you're ever going to make it without your wife.

You made your way down to Jenny's room, the youngest girl in the family, and the most dependent on JJ. Jenny was always a shy, quite child, she turned to JJ for almost everything. You look up before walking in, seeing Henry and Stephanie watching you, tears running down their faces. You hold back a sob and go over to them hugging them close.

"We can do this." You whispered, and feel your two oldest kids nod against both shoulders. Pulling back you place kisses both their foreheads. "I love you both so much."

"We love you too mom." They said. You walk back to Jenny's room and look back at your eldest children. 'God will this ever get easier?' you think before walking in.

You look around for Jenny but couldn't find her. 'Jesus JJ I can't do this without you!' you sob. Jenny's head poked up out from her closet.

"Mommy don't cry…mom wouldn't want you to cry." Jenny ran over to you and settles in you lap. Wrapping your arms around the girl rocking her back and forth.

"How are you baby girl?" You ask kissing the top of her head.

"Sad…" Jenny looked up at you, JJ's eyes shinning up at you, it breaks your heart just that little more. "You think it gets so quite in heaven that you can hear even god crying?" You wipe her tears away from her eyes.

"Yes baby I do." Your six year old was making better sense of what happened than you could.

"I don't think he meant to take mom…I think his hands were tied… and mom's guardian angel was too." You laugh and hug her tightly.

"Mom loved you very much Jenny. She was so proud of you." Jenny hugs your neck and cries.

"I miss mommy…" She cries, and you nod.

"I know, I do too."

"I do too." Stephanie walks in and sits next to you on the bed crying. "I miss mom so much." You take your other arm and wrap it around your eldest daughter and cry into her hair.

"It wasn't suppose to be like this." You cry. "I…we were suppose to grow old together and spoil are grand kids…"

"We were going to get a puppy." Jenny said, making you and Stephanie laugh.

"Yes, we were." you smile.

Henry, Stephanie, and yourself sit around the table not looking at each other.

"I remember when I asked mom to marry me… she smacked me… told me not to joke around with her. I was completely serious." You smile a bit. "She didn't even get the ring on before she was on the phone with aunty Pen."

"I remember that one Christmas when you and mom were on a case and didn't think you were going to make it home… you told us the night before you wouldn't make it home, but when we woke up you were both asleep on the couch, you had spent all night on the jet, then came home and wrapped our presents. The best gift was having you both home for Christmas."

"Yeah and we had the team over for dinner and mom jumped on the counter and sang…"

"White Christmas with aunty Pen." You finish the memories of that night flashing in your mind, JJ loved Christmas, you asked her if she had wanted to travel somewhere special and she refused. She didn't tell you till the day of, that you were to have the whole team over for dinner and gift exchange, she put you in charge of gifts for the kids, which included Reid. She swore she sent out an email detailing the whole thing and if you'd 'just check your damn inbox' it'd be there. Your glad your mother brought extra alcohol because you needed it, unfortunately that's what got JJ and Pen up on the counter.

"Yeah!" Stephanie smiles brightly, her smile matches JJ's million watt smile, and the spark that gets added to her eyes for just a split second, you've had a hard time telling them apart before.

"I remember her telling us she was pregnant with you." Henry looks at Stephanie.

"You were little." You exclaim thinking; no three year old would remember that.

"I was devastated!" Henry said making you laugh. "I can't believe that was 16 years ago."

"I can't believe they had two more kids!" Stephanie laughs.

"Hey, it was getting lonely around the house with you both so busy all the time." You smile; you'll never forget the days JJ told you that you were going to have a child.

"I remember moving." Stephanie utters, giving a shudder. Moving day wasn't a favorite memory for anyone involved, between the three hospital visits, the two flat tires and the forgotten child incident you'd rather just push it in the back of your mind.

"Oh that was hard. I couldn't believe we were leaving the city to a farm!"

"But its amazing here, perfect for Rodney and Jenny to play… mom use…use to… to play in the woods with us…." Henry wipes a tear away.

"It'll get easier from here… the hard part is over…I hope. All I know is JJ's even more upset, she'll never be able to talk to her babies again, and we can talk to her all we want." You look at your eldest kids. "She'll always be there for you, remember that." The two children nodded and you think for just a second they were 9 and 6 again and everything was perfect as JJ set dinner down before sitting in your lap and kissing you.

"Bon appite." She smiles kissing you again as the kids made faces of disgust and said ew.