D/C: Naruto belongs to its idiotic, questionably sane creator Kishimoto Masashi.

A series of drabbles written for the Naruto Gen Meme (http colon slash-slash community dot livejournal dot com slash naruto underscore meme slash 589 dot html). Obviously before this they were anonymous, but not anymore! General. No romance, just humor and cuteness.

Prompt 1: "Itachi and Orochimaru. Their first meeting. Go!"

Orochimaru was the new student in school. Nobody dared to go near him, as he possessed snakelike features and a wicked gleam in his eye as he ogled all of the beautiful young male schoolmates before him. Oh, yes, it was going to be fun making those boys his. So, so fun.

He was unsure of which boy to hit on first when out of his peripheral vision he spied the school's most popular third year: Uchiha Itachi. He had heard tell of Itachi's beauty and stoicism, but to witness it for himself was another story altogether! "Yes, this is Uchiha Itachi!" he whispered. "He will be mine. Oh yes, he will be mine."

"Oh, Itachi-kuuuun!" he pranced over to the Uchiha boy, who was loitering against a window with his best friend, the horrifically tall and blue Hoshigaki Kisame. Itachi glanced up at the sound of his name, and furrowed his eyebrows when he registered that it wasn't a fangirl that was calling his name with the unwanted honorific, but a boy, and a creepy one at that.

"What?"

Orochimaru grinned as friendly as he could possibly be. "You're beautiful, Itachi-kun!"

"So I've heard," Itachi replied dryly. "Now what do you want?"

Orochimaru had always been effeminate, and thus cocked his head to the side like a girl did when acting coy (or confused). "Nothing," he said, sugar dripping from his voice.

Itachi quirked an eyebrow. "Weirdo," he turned and began walking. "C'mon, Kisame."

"But, Itachi-kun, rumor has it that you have never had a girlfriend!" Orochimaru caught up to him. A vein popped out of Itachi's head and he sighed.

"My love life is none of your business..." Itachi paused, searching for the snake boy's name.

"Orochimaru. "

"Orochimaru-san. And I am not interested in pursuing a relation--GAH!" Itachi yelped as Orochimaru leaped onto his back and clung to him.

"You're mine, Itachi-kun!"

BAM

Orochimaru found himself seeing little birds and staring at the ceiling, barely registering the intense pain in the back of his head and vaguely noticing the combination of pain and numbness in his right hand.

"Wow, Itachi-san, I haven't seen you flip anyone over in forever," Kisame commented, gazing at the fallen Orochimaru. "I think you destroyed the dude's hand."

"Stay away from me, you creep." Itachi said, and left the building.

Five seconds later, there was a loud scream as Orochimaru discovered his hand was not only broken, but shattered to the point of no return, and it hurt like the devil times a million.

Prompt 2: "Kakashi & Obito. I'd like to hear about them when they were young."

"I miss Itachi..." Obito moaned as he and Kakashi made their way to Sunagakure. Minato had sent them off to do a mission on their own in the hopes they would learn to work together.

Unfortunately Minato's plan was not working at all. Obito was extremely attached to his young four year old cousin Itachi (something about the little brother he'd never have), and being away from him this long was taking a toll on the prankster Uchiha, and Kakashi found his pining highly annoying, and sighed as he raised his fist to bop his teammate on the head.

"Shut up, you idiot." he griped. "We need to focus on the mission, remember?"

Obito scowled and mumbled some incoherent words under his breath, and then he raised his voice, "Damn genius. You just wait until you have a cute little cousin to play with and train, and then we'll see who needs to focus!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes and put a little brisk in his step to walk ahead of Obito. "That would never happen. The mission is the most important issue here."

"IT IS NOT! ITACHI IS AN ADORABLE LITTLE GENIUS WHO WILL ONE DAY REVOLUTIONIZE THE UCHIHA CLAN, OKAY?! HE NEEDS ME AS HIS SUNSHINE IN SUCH A GLOOMY CLAN!" Obito shrieked, flailing. "YOU HAVE NO HEART, YOU BASTARD!"

Obito rushed in front of Kakashi, balling his fists in front of him. "C'mon, loser buys the winner dinner! I want ramen, okay?"

Ten seconds later, Obito was tasting sand. "Damn Kakashi..." he growled.

Prompt 3: "Itachi & Deidara. The two of them at Christmas."

Itachi stared at the small blue red-ribbon wrapped box outside of his and Kisame's door. There was no name on it, but judging from the scent of clay emanating from the package, he deduced that it must have been Deidara.

"Now why would Deidara give me a Christmas present?" Itachi mused, picking it up. Kisame shrugged. "Beats me, Itachi-san."

Itachi smirked as he found messy kanji scribbles on a small card, and many cross-outs and emoticons. "He only pretends to hate me. It's just rivalry, really." he glanced behind him. "You can come out now, Deidara."

Deidara cursed as he stumbled out of the hallway closet. "Damn Itachi." he scowled and glared at the taller boy.

Itachi patted the blond's head, and opened the door to his room and entered the room.

"You're so obvious, Deidara-san," Kisame snickered as Deidara blushed from the Uchiha's contact.

"Shut up!" Deidara snapped, blushing even deeper.

Kisame grinned. "Whatever you say. You may wanna confess to him soon."

"I will never confess!" Deidara hissed embarrassedly.

"He likes you, too, I think."

"...?!" Deidara fainted from his brain overloading. Kisame snickered again.

Yo, reviewer, I'mma let you finish, but this Gen Meme was the best of all time. OF ALL TIME!

*the Kanye West meme had to be done _ I'm sorry.* Please let me know what you think.