Hair Ties and Mommy Issues
Okay.
She could do this.
It shouldn't be hard. In fact, it should actually be pretty easy.
She had slept beside her. Fallen in front of her. Cried in front of her. Heck, she'd even been sick in front of her a time or two.
Why was this so hard?
"No turning back. You can do this." Toph whispered to herself, her voice agitated and anxious as she stood outside of Katara's tent. It was early morning, probably six or so, and it was getting close to time to depart the campsite for the day. And after two weeks of travel, Toph's hair was a mess.
"You can do this." She growled at herself again, and she immediately sucked up her breath and pushed the tent flap.
"Katara?" She asked abruptly, and she was greeted with a sleepy sigh. Shit. She wasn't up yet. Abort, abort!
Toph whirled around to leave, deciding her hair could take another day, or week, or year, or eternity, when Katara's voice lifted from the pile of sleeping bags.
"Toph? What's going on?"
She sat up. Toph froze and spun slowly around on her heel to face her friend.
"Uhhhh…. nothing?"
Toph could hear Katara's facial expression go from sleepy to disbelieving.
"Uhm, no ma'am, no, what has you waking me up this early?" The older girl said, shifting in her sleeping bag and sitting up.
You can do this, you can do this, you can do this.
"I need…"
You can do this, you can do this, you can do this.
"Help. With my hair."
And at that, Katara had the audacity to flat out laugh.
"Your hair?"
Toph stopped.
"Forget it! Forget I fucking asked!" She huffed, turning all the way around as she felt her face heat up. This was stupid, anyways.
"No, no wait!" Katara giggled, taking a breath to compose herself. "I'll help, I'll help. And watch the language, little miss. What is it you need?"
Toph refused to turn back now. And so, she screwed up her beet-red face, whirled around one last time, and plopped down on the ground in front of Katara.
"I need you to do my hair."
It wasn't like Toph really cared about how her hair looked. She couldn't see it, so why did it matter? However, she did care about having hair all over her face at all times, and having strands falling down her back and getting tangled in things without her permission.
Growing up in a borderline palace, growing up blind, had left her without any idea how to do anything related to grooming on her own (other than basic personal hygiene). She had no idea how to apply blush, or whiten her teeth other than regular brushing, or how to put on lipstick. She had no clue how to put on a bra, thank gosh that wasn't a factor yet, or braid her hair, or tuck her bangs back into a headband. It had been two weeks since her hair had been done - normally, at home, she'd go all day with it done, rough it up a little before the Earth Rumbles, sleep in it like that, and then have it done the next morning by her mother or, more commonly, a maid. Ever since she sneaked out with Katara, Aang, and Sokka, her hair has been just like it was for her bedtime stroll - just like how she wore it for Earth Rumble VI. In short, it was a little messy. After two days and all the wind riding on Appa's back, it was a little more messy. A week, it was a ratsnest. Now, after a little more than two weeks, it was past ratsnest and dipping precariously into rat's-modest-apartment-turned-into-fulltime-home territory, and she had no earthly idea how to fix it.
It's not like she hadn't tried. Hair ties and headbands are just insanely confusing, and it only takes getting your hands stuck in a big tangle on the back of your head once to make you rethink trying to do things yourself. And this is how Toph found herself sitting in front of Katara, dangling her feet into the little creek by their campsite, and getting her hair ripped out of her skull by a brush.
"Hold still!" Katara shouted, putting pressure onto Toph's head with her right hand so she could pull the brush through with the other. Toph yelped. Her hair had never ever been this messy - having her silky locks delicately brushed 100 times over every single morning for her entire life had left it rare to tangle. That is, until she didn't brush it for a single day. "What did you do, smear your head in peanut butter?!"
"OUCH! Watch it, Miss Priss!"
Katara worked on that one tangle for another moment before it finally gave, and she pulled some water into her grasp and began to work around the newly-freed strands.
"What're you doing now?" Toph asked, her voice a rare tone of genuine curiosity rather than anger. Her small feet splashed in the water.
"Cleaning it. Your hair's caked with dirt a little here. See?" Katara held the matte out close to Toph's face then cringed. "I mean - here."
Quick to cover her misspeak, Katara reached over and gently took Toph's left hand, guiding it up to her long locks. She bent the child's fingers carefully over the tangle, and ran them up and down. "See? It's matted together. I'm using water to get it free."
Toph, surprisingly, did not lash out at being touched without permission. Instead she made a small noise of acknowledgement as her fingers continued to fiddle with the tangle on their own.
"So that's all dirt?"
"Well," Katara started, "Dirt and other stuff, like oil from your hair. And sweat."
Katara smiled jokingly and ruffled Toph's bangs, and Toph laughed.
"You bet your sweet bippy it is!" She grinned back. "Nothin' worth doin' ends without you being drenched in sweat."
"Oh, I pity your mother in your formative years." Katara giggled, and instantly Toph froze. Katara frowned.
"Are you…okay? Did I say something wrong?"
Toph huffed air from her nose, sending her bangs up out of her face and then back down. She let go of the matte in her hair.
"Nope. Everything's peachy."
Katara continued to work on Toph's hair in silence, brushing and pulling and detangling without so much as a flinch from her charge. What had she said? That her hair was matted up? That she was sweaty? That her mom-
Oh.
Oops.
"Toph, I-"
"Don't start, Sugar Queen."
Silence. Held breath. Brushing. Exhale.
"I guess I was kind of a handful." Toph's voice finally said. It was in that pained, joking tone - the one that meant she was using humor to cover up how she truly felt. "I ran into stuff a lot before I learned how to bend."
More silence. Another matte. Katara picked at it with her nails before bringing more water from the stream up to meet it. She scrubbed at it, pulled at it, brushed the clean strands away. Toph's feet had stopped splashing.
"Do you…Do you want to talk about i-"
"Nope."
The response was instantaneous, not quite harsh, but not quite calm, either. Just…immediate. Firm.
Brush. Pick. Brush. Pull.
"Toph."
Katara sighed and put down the tangle she was working with. She pulled the water from Toph's mane and laid the dry hair back on her back before scooting around to Toph's side. She put a hand on the tense girl's shoulder, looking into her face.
Toph may have flinched, but her eyes weren't wet. Her nose wasn't dripping. Her lips weren't quivering. Katara took that as an okay sign to continue.
"Toph, I don't know what your mother did." She began. "I don't know what she didn't do, either. But..Whatever it was, whatever you're thinking of… you're safe here. I don't know if you miss her, or resent her, or both, but-" She paused. Toph bit her lip and drew in a breath, and a few pebbles vibrated a tiny bit near them. Katara squeezed her finger tips on Toph's shoulder, just enough to encourage her to let out the air trapped in her lungs. She did. "But we're here for you. I'm here for you. Even if we argue sometimes. Even if…"
Would she dare to say it? Would she dare insinuate weakness? Toph swallowed, and Katara noticed that it was much harsher than a normal swallow would be. She would.
"Even if something happens and you can't pull your own weight. We're here now. For you."
When there was no response, not even a noticeable change in facial expression, Katara moved back to her place at Toph's hair. She began working again.
Brush. Brush. Pull. Brush.
"Even if I'm sweaty and gross and accidentally run into things?"
There was a smile in the younger's voice. A joke, a prod, an invitation to tease back.
"Well, maybe not too sweaty."
"Pfft," Toph's eyebrows furrowed and she laughed. "Poor fool. You underestimate the power of my disgusting-ness."
"Well, I guess we can handle that. But the second you accidentally run into something, you're out of here."
"Wow, you guys are really winning my trust." Katara could tell Toph was trying her hardest to roll her eyes good-naturedly. It didn't really work, but Katara wouldn't say anything.
"Hear me out." She put the brush down and grabbed the hair ties and pins. "If you're running into stuff on accident, you're probably an imposter. Because Toph Beifong doesn't mess up."
Toph paused.
"You right," She nodded, then reiterated, "You right. If she runs into something, it's on purpose."
Katara could feel her grinning as she pinned her hair under the headband. She moved to pin back her bangs, but Toph grabbed her hand. She was grinning.
"Nuh uh. I don't make mistakes, 'member? My hair stays in my face on purpose, Sugar Queen."
Katara smiled and put her hands up.
"Okay, okay - fair enough. Then you're done," She paused. Squinched up her nose. "Dirt….child."
Toph guffawed.
"Dirt Child?" She sputtered. "I can't believe with a brother like Sokka you never picked up the art of name-calling."
"At least I'm trying," Katara laughed back.
"Yeah," Toph grinned. "Real trying."
"Hey!" Katara giggled.
The two girls laughed for a moment before Toph rammed her fist lightly into Katara's side.
"Thanks." She said, her eyes staring un-seeing at the creek. Katara rubbed at her side a little.
"Of course, Toph. I'm always here if you want to talk about your family, or anything else, okay?"
"I meant my hair."
"Oh." Katara felt her cheeks flush in the awkward silence. However, when she looked up, she noticed the other girl's cheeks color, too. Fiddling with her bangs, Toph opened her mouth.
"And all the other stuff, too, I guess." She bit her lip and kicked her feet in the water. "For not makin' me talk about it, and for…for being here."
Katara smiled.
"I'm going to hug you now, okay?" She warned, making sure Toph was prepared for the physical contact. The smaller nodded, and allowed herself to be enveloped in the warm embrace.
"Thank you."