Authors Note: I started The Return of the Banished Queen, on a burst of creative writing and then realized that it was not going to work if I did not dig deeper into the relationship of Nate and Jenny, so I am going to write a series of vignettes starting when Jenny leaves the Upper East Side for Hudson, and introduce a few OC, but more get into both of their heads and why Nate can jump right into a proposal after a one night stand. I hope you enjoy Banished.
Hudson Reflection
Look at me you may think you see
Who I really am but you'll never know me
Every day it's as if I play a part
Now I see if I wear a mask
I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart
I was leaving my the only home I have ever known, the towers of gray concert for main street. I left my life from humble brooklyn to upper east side. I need to be gone, because I don't know who I am anymore. I have spent the last year chasing a guy, who not only is my step -sister boyfriend, but one of my brother best friend. I lost the girl he even liked, the down home Jenny from Brooklyn. I lost me, I lost Jenny from the block and was replaced with Queen J. It was Queen J, who thought sleeping with Chuck Bass was a good idea, and how better to get back at him and to get out, no I knew that was a really bad idea. I see the girl in the glass of the window and I don't know, who that is. I have spent the last few years, I have put a mask on honestly since the night I put on Serena Mask at the Maquared Ball
I always saw myself as Cinderella, Blair was Snow White and Serena was Sleeping Beauty. I was the queen; who came up from her boot straps, from Brooklyn, my Dad was in entertainment and my mom was a painter. I was not part of the one percent of the world, but I would look at the New Yorker and all the gossip rags. I would see a fairy tale, and I wanted my prince. I thought at fourteen I found him and I became the girl I thought he wanted, come to find out my prince Nate Archibald was not a shallow, prick, who wanted a "Blair" he liked the Jenny from the Block, but by that time I had tasted power. I was on my way to be a queen of New York, and started a rule of terror. I lost him, because I had lost me at the time and it just went down from there. I also found out that I would most likely never have kids, I had to be put on hormones to even finish my puberty and I finally got my boobs came in about a year ago.
I want find the real me, who is somewhere between the Dark Queen Cinderella and Jenny from the Block, but where to start from I had no clue, but I had to get away from my not so fairy tale empire, it was here, I let Chuck take all my frist, which should have been Nates'. It was here, I let my jealousy for a guy, almost break up my family and myself hatred almost destroy my family. Lily was a wonderful step-mom, and honestly wanted what was best for me, and I let the man who was feeding her lies about having cancer get away. I pushed my best friend away, because he was not "cool" enough according to my menons, no more the devil on my shoulders- but he just wanted the old Jenny back, his friend. I pushed my own brother away, because he could see I was not ready for this world. I pushed Nate away, if I had just been a friend and honest he would be mine now, had I not given into the pull of power, and just let Vanessa and then Serena take off their mask. I saw that Serena was just a fantasy and he might take a little time put the pieces together, but he always did, but I didn't trust him or respect him and Jenny you have a three brothers and a Dad; I know a guy would rather feel alone and unloved over disrespect. I had to be free or I would never find me, but letting go of my family, my school, of Nate- who I still loved like, know I will never love anyone else. I had to find the real me and get over my broken heart. I didn't know where to start, but I had except my banishment and take the time to grow and find me.
In UES I had to hide the real me, because the girl who sew her own clothes, was not as cool as girl who got a real tiara for christmas. I had to hide my love for old musicals, unless I was with Nate- who like them to. I had to hide the girl who had more fun playing video games, with her best friend and brother than going out and getting into a club. I had to hide the girl, who loved to read jane austen and would spend one weekend every year could not be moved until I finished Persuasion. I wanted to find that girl and see what the women she could become. I will find the women I want to be and set aside this Queen J, and find the real Jennifer T. Humphrey; for me and not for a man or spot on page 6. I have to find the real me, or I will never grow up and move past the trauma of fame.