It was 9pm. at the Peacock Bar, but Guy had more than he bargained for. Dean and Rachel the Half-Human Sayian girl were sitting just right next to the drunk ninja; who goes on talking about his girlfriend Rena, and then shouts out a lot of slurs and random stories he was telling. Dean decides he didn't want Rena to find out Guy was drunk, so he takes him back to his house. And this is how it happened...
DEAN: (to RACHEL) So anyhow, thank you for helping me yesterday. It was fun while it lasted.
RACHEL: (smiling; to DEAN) Hey no problem. That's what we're for, we help our people and fix whatever problem we can. And that's the Sodor Ninja Motto.
DEAN: (smiling) Oh is that so?
GUY: (drunk) Shit! *hiccup*... If she was a car, she'd be a 4 DOOR FORD WHORE!... BITCH! (drinking) *hiccup*...
RACHEL: (laughing, to GUY) You okay big guy?
GUY: (drunk) Am I *hiccup*... A-Am I okay? Oh hell yeah... I. I was just *hiccup*... I'm just chillin' ya know hun?... I-I-I'm *hiccup*... I'm good...
RACHEL: (confused, points at GUY to DEAN) Whoa! Is he alright?
DEAN: (to RACHEL) I have no clue, I just came here a half-hour ago and he's already acting up.
GUY: (drunk, puts his head down) Wha-What? *hiccup*... NO! No! I'm perfectly fine, I'm *hiccup*... I-I'm as dandy as can be...
DEAN: (to GUY) You don't look like it.
RACHEL: (whispers to DEAN) He looks like he's had more than 5...
GUY: (drunk; lifting his head up, looks at RACHEL) What'cha say?
RACHEL: (embarassed) Shouldn't have said that...
GUY: (drunk) I love my little Rena... Sweetest girl I've ever met, and God bless her.
RACHEL: Aw, that's nice.
GUY: (drunk, shouting) BUT SHE'S CUTE AS FU-*hiccup*! (falls down)
DEAN: (looks down at GUY) What the hell!
RACHEL: (kneels down at GUY) Oh my god! Are you okay?!
GUY: (drunk) *hiccup*... Ah... (laughs) Ooohhh my god... (gets back up with Rachel picking him up by the shoulder and back) I-I'm really out of it, ain't I?
DEAN: (to GUY) Yes. Yes you are.
OOLANG: (cleaning a glass cup, annoyed) Oh brother... You guys never tend to shut up, do you? (hands Rachel a drink) Here. I've gotta get this place spotless before the big game starts tomorrow.
RACHEL: (takes her drink: talks to OOLANG) Um Oolang, what are you talking about?
OOLANG: (to RACHEL) I'm talking about the Super Bowl 51 that's happening! Every year people like you guys come here to have drinks, hit on girls, watch the game, and have bar fights over one team! ONE FREAKIN' TEAM!
RACHEL: (to DEAN) Geez, I'm glad I'm not working here.
OOLANG: (leans over to RACHEL) Trust me I know, you wouldn't want to anyway. Women who were barteneders or waitresses here, get sexual harassed...
RACHEL: (disgusted) Ugh...
GUY: (drunk, shouting) Hey pig! *hiccup*... Fill me up again will you?!
OOLANG: *sigh* (to GUY) Don't you think you've had enough?
GUY: (drunk, puts his head down again) I don't know... Piggy. *hiccup*... (laughs)
OOLANG: *groaning* NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! EXCUSE ME!...(runs to the bathroom)
DEAN: What happened?
RACHEL: (sees Oolang running) Whoa whoa whoa! What the fuck?
DEAN: (to RACHEL) What just happened?
RACHEL: (to DEAN) I guess, Guy said something to make him shit his pants. I don't know.
GUY: (drunk, head down) Aw shit... *hiccup*...
RACHEL: (muttering) Men...
GUY: (drunk, head down) Aw shit...
*phone rings*
DEAN: (to RACHEL) Who's that?
RACHEL: (takes her phone out and reads the text message) Oh, that's my boyfriend. I gotta get going. (runs out of the bar) See ya!
DEAN: (to RACHEL) Oh okay, bye.
GUY: (drunk, head down) *hiccup*... F-Fuck...!
DEAN: (to GUY) I think you've had enough for one day...
GUY: (grabs DEAN'S wrist) HEY! Hey!... Hey... *hiccup*... Don't... Touch my shit...
OOLANG: *sighs in relief* Jesus! Don't do that again...
DEAN: (to OOLANG) Alright, what do you want me to do?
OOLANG: (to DEAN) Well first of all, you could start by taking care of HIM! (pointing at GUY)
DEAN: (looks down at GUY, who is half asleep) How?
OOLANG: (to DEAN) I don't know, drag him out! Do something!
DEAN: *sigh* Ah geez... (to GUY, carrying him) Alright stupid, get up. Let's get you home.
GUY: (drunk, to DEAN) Are we...? A-A-Are we gonna *hiccup*... Go back home?
DEAN: (to GUY) Yeah, we're going home.
GUY: (drunk) Ah fuck... *hiccup*...
DEAN: (to GUY, carrying him) You're completely hopeless. (to OOLANG) Alright, I guess I'll be seeing around. (walks outside to his car)
OOLANG: (to DEAN) So long.
25 minutes later... *Genesis - In Too Deep playing*
DEAN: (driving)
GUY: (drunk) Why does my hand smell like an ass...? (then starts shouting out the window) Fuck you! Who gives a SHIT! You're an asshole, and I'm gonna kick your ass!
DEAN: (driving, calm) Can you keep it down back there? Everyone can hear you.
GUY: (drunk) *hiccup*... I don't really fuck "care"!...
DEAN: (stops and looks at GUY) Well I do.
GUY: (drunk, confused) The hell do you mean... You "fuck"?
DEAN: (looks away from GUY and continues driving, embarassed) Never mind, we're almost there.
When they got to Dean's apartment, Dean got Guy out of the car and had him lie down in bed.
GUY: (drunk, walking) *hiccup*... Aw shit... (starts tripping) Fuckin' bitch! AH SHIT! (DEAN catches him) Shit! *hiccup*... (lies down) Oh fuck...
DEAN: (to GUY) Now you can stay there.
GUY: (drunk, lying down; to DEAN) Are... Are you my conscious..?
DEAN: (to GUY) Yeah, I'm your conscious. We haven't spoke in a while. How are you?
GUY: (drunk; to DEAN) I don't know... Besides the fact I'm a little shit...
DEAN: (to GUY) That's I thought. (gets up) Hang tight, I'm coming back. (leaves the room)
GUY: (drunk, thinking) This is what happens when you go out and have a drink, the next thing you know, you end up ass down on the floor... *yawn* Shit... (falls asleep)
A few minutes later...
DEAN: (comes back with a glass of water) Here I've got something-... (looks down at GUY, who is already asleep) Guy...? Guy?