1. By the sea
Penny cringed as she entered the doctor's office and noted that the waiting room was packed – even worse than the normal Friday afternoon rush. She approached the receptionist, gave her name, and settled in for a long wait. But only a few minutes later, she heard her name called. She approached the receptionist's window.
"Mrs. Hofstadter, Dr. Grossman apologizes. As you can see, we're very busy. She promises to see you when she can, Or you can reschedule, if you prefer."
"No, no," Penny said quickly. "I've come all this way, I might as well stay. I don't get over to the West Side that often. Traffic, you know."
The receptionist smiled warmly. "I sure do. I come in from Simi Valley. Can I get you something while you wait?"
"No, thanks, I'm good." Penny sat down again and looked around the room at all the pregnant women. Some were barely showing, others were apparently long overdue; some were alone, others with anxious-looking husbands or boyfriends.
Much as she had come to dislike her job, she had to admit that these past two weeks on the Ob-Gyn circuit had been fun. She'd had some really nice conversations with the women while she waited. And yet, the circuit was having another effect on her. She was feeling a strange and unaccustomed yearning. She kept trying to push it down, or away, but she knew what it was: she wanted to have a baby. Bernadette's pregnancy was part of it, but there was also the fact that lately she had been feeling particularly good about Leonard, and about their marriage. Plus, with Amy and Sheldon finally getting into the sack, she felt it might be time to start thinking seriously about their moving in together – and, more important, moving out and into a larger place. Maybe even a house. With a yard. …
The door of the office opened and a couple entered. Penny looked up, then did a double take. It was Diane Green and her husband, George Stein. She had read in the tabloids that they were expecting – this was, maybe, their third child. But here was Hollywood's most famous power couple in the same room as her. And, she noted with panic, headed toward her.
Green stopped in front of Penny, glancing at the empty seats on either side of the young blonde. "I'm really sorry, but do you think you could move over so that my husband can sit next to me? "
"Of course," Penny said hastily, moving herself and her things. Green sat down next to her, with Stein to her left, and flashed her trademark smile at Penny.
"Thanks. So, how far along are you?" she asked, and Penny marveled at how friendly and colloquial was her tone.
Penny laughed. "Oh, I'm not expecting. I'm just a pharmaceutical sales rep."
"Oh, sorry," Green laughed. "That's a relief. I was already hating you for looking so good. I feel like a whale. And not a pretty one, either."
Penny blushed a little. "You look beautiful. You always look beautiful, Ms. Green."
Before the woman could answer, her husband leaned over, eyeing Penny with a penetrating stare, and broke in. "Weren't you in Serial Apist 2?"
Green's eyes lit up with recognition, even as Penny felt herself blushing beet red. "Oh, God. I can't believe you saw that, Mr. Stein. It's so bad."
"No, no," Stein objected immediately, and Stone similarly shook her head. "Well, yes, it was awful. But Diane and I have watched it, and you."
"Really?" Penny was wide-eyed. The thought of the Green-Stein juggernaut seeing her in anything was overwhelming.
"Funny story," he continued. "One of our interns is obsessed with the movie – you know, in a cult-classic kind of way. He insisted I see it, so I did. It was everything he had said it was, so bad it was funny. I especially loved seeing Will Wheaton in an orangutan suit – and a bikini. But you know that we're always on the lookout for talent, and I liked what I saw from you. Not really in the role – everything about that movie was absurd – but there was something in your fresh-faced perkiness that really appealed to me. Sort of a "new raw talent from the sticks" look. So I had Diane see your scenes, too."
Green shook her head. "George can be a little blunt. I think what he'd like to say," she said, glaring at her husband, "is that we saw a new face in the film that we didn't know, and wanted to get to know. But there's only so much time in the day, so we haven't followed up. I'm glad we ran into you."
Penny was flabbergasted. "Oh, Ms. Green, Mr. Stein, I'm so flattered. You know, that film was the last straw for me; it was what led me to go into pharmaceutical sales. But I can't believe I made a positive impression on you. It's….it's overwhelming."
Green smiled kindly, as Stein shook his head. "Our job is to look for talent. Making it in this town involves a lot of luck. And I think maybe you and I being here today is one of those lucky coincidences." She looked quickly at Stein, who gave a nearly imperceptible nod.
"George and I are beginning work on a new project. Do you think you might want to read for us?"
Penny just stared at her, then came out of her daze with a start. "Of course! I'd be honored, Ms. Green. And Mr. Stein. Just tell me when and where."
"How about Monday afternoon, say 3?" Green said, looking at Stein. "Here's my card, the address is on the card. And it's Diane and George. And give me your coordinates," she added, pulling a pad from her purse. "It's not a cold read; we have a specific role in mind. We'll get you some scenes to work on for the reading."
"I'll be there!" Penny said, writing her data down quickly. "Thank you so much, Ms. – Diane; George. Oh, I can't wait to tell my husband," the young woman gushed, getting up.
Diane smiled warmly and stuck out her hand to shake. "Hope you don't mind if I don't get up," as George did rise to shake Penny's hand. "Until Monday," he said.
Penny walked quickly over to the receptionist and told her she'd see Dr. Grossman some other time, then waved to the couple as she left the doctor's office. Once out in the hallway, she leaned against the wall, breathless.
After she'd recovered, Penny took out her phone to call Leonard. She knew he was at work, but she had to talk to him. She started to dial, then stopped. She walked slowly out of the building, and toward her car, deep in thought. Once in her car, she drove the two miles to the Third Street Promenade and parked there. She sat in her car for a few minutes, then called Leonard.
"Hey, beautiful," Leonard answered cheerily. "This is a pleasant surprise! To what do I owe it?"
"Hi, honey," Penny began. She took a deep breath. "I'm over in Santa Monica, near the beach. Let's have a nice dinner over here. It's been a long time since we've done something like that."
"Wow, what a romantic idea!" Leonard responded. "Is something wrong with you? Am I dying?"
"Very funny. Seriously, can you make a reservation someplace nice? I have a couple of things I want to talk about with you."
"Uh, oh." Now Leonard sounded concerned.
"Will you relax? Just some ideas that I want to share with the love of my life," she said. With Leonard reassurance was always in order.
"Oh, OK. Maybe the Ivy? Let's see….it's now 4.30; I have to wind some things up here and go home to change, but I could be there by 7. Can you keep yourself busy until then? There are plenty of nice shoe stores in the area, as I recall."
"Ha, ha. I'll keep busy. Ivy at the Shore at 7 sounds perfect. See you then and there. Love you, sweetie."
"Love you, too."
Penny walked down from her car to the Promenade and ambled casually among the shops. She stopped for a cup of tea, checked the time, then walked down the block and toward the Santa Monica Pier. She stood on the pier for a while, watching the water, then walked down the stairs to the beach. Once at the beach, Penny slipped off her shoes and stockings, looked around quickly before hiding them behind a piling, and walked onto the beach. By now it was almost 6, and the sun was headed toward the horizon. She found a spot by the bike path and sat watching the sun go lower and lower, deep in thought. After a bit, she got up and wandered closer to the water. The sea was calm; the waves lapped quietly on the sand with a reassuring regularity. Penny stared at the beginnings of the sunset, lost in her imagination.
"Hello, sailor," she heard at her side, and came out of her trance with a start. Leonard was standing behind her and to the left, smiling broadly.
"Hey, you," Penny said shyly, caught in an unaccustomedly pensive mood. "How did you know where I was?"
"I checked the Shoe Palace first, but you weren't there," he kidded. "But I know how much you love the beach, and I saw you from up on the bluffs. You know, you looked like something out of a romantic movie from up there – looking out into the ocean and realizing that love was there all along….."
Penny laughed. "Well, something like that. Yeah, I love the beach. Not a lot of ocean in Nebraska." She noted that Leonard was barefoot, a bold move for him.
"Leonard, why do you hate the beach so much? Not much ocean in New Jersey?"
"Oh, your geography needs work. Actually, New Jersey has a lot of ocean, and wonderful beaches. Jersey Shore, remember?"
"So why do you hate it? It's so beautiful," she said, gesturing at the reddening sunset.
He shrugged. "I guess it brings up bad memories. My father liked the beach, my mother hated it. We spent a couple of vacations at the shore, in a beach house. They argued the whole time. My mother would hardly let us onto the beach without two layers of clothing; my father fought to get her to allow us to go into the water. It was a constant battle. I've just always associated the beach with terrible family fights. But this really is beautiful. And being here with you is special. It makes me want to just stand here with you until the sun goes down," he said, leaning in and hugging her.
"Oh, Leonard, you're so romantic. But don't we have to get to the restaurant?"
"I already checked in, they're running late. They said it would be 30 or 40 more minutes. I have a pager," Leonard said, pulling it out of his pocket.
They walked slowly along the beach, eventually coming to the spot where Penny had rested. They sat down, and Leonard looked at his wife curiously. She was uncharacteristically silent.
"Is everything all right?" Leonard asked quietly.
"Everything's fine. Just spent the last couple of hours thinking about things." Penny looked out to the sunset. "Leonard, how much do you love me?"
Leonard was taken aback, but recovered quickly. "I don't know if I can quantify it, Penny. But I can tell you how I feel when I think about you, about us." And he, too, peered out to sea, thinking about how to explain it.
"For much of my life I felt like there was a void, an emptiness. I realize now that it was because my parents never made me feel supported, or protected, or even wanted. I know that made me needy, and that's not so good. But it also made me appreciate kindness, and connection, and warmth. When I met you, I felt that void get smaller and smaller. Even when we were just friends. And then each step in our relationship filled it a little more. When you told me you loved me for the first time, that was big. When we got engaged; when we got married; every time, I felt more and more complete. As I said at our wedding, you make me whole. And now, when I'm with you, I think I feel truly happy for the first time in my life. I feel supported; protected; wanted; loved. And the most amazing thing as that the person who is supporting, protecting, wanting, loving me is the most wonderful woman in the world. It's overwhelming. It makes my heart beat faster just to think about. It's as if every dream I ever had was coming true, every day."
Leonard was speaking as if he were talking to himself. Halfway through this soliloquy, Penny turned from the sunset and looked at her husband. By the end of his answer she could feel herself tearing up.
"Leonard, you're amazing. I don't know what I've ever done to deserve you." And Penny stood up, walking slowly toward the water. She sensed Leonard following her as she looked out to the sunset again.
"Leonard?"
"Yes, Penny?"
"I want us to start a family." She knew she had to give him space; it was not fair to pressure him into something he wasn't ready for. They both had to feel the same way, and she couldn't rush things. So she waited for his response, not looking at him, just staring at the waves. A minute went by, though, and she was getting anxious. Finally she couldn't help herself.
"Well, don't you have anything to say?" she asked, and it sounded a lot harsher than she intended. She finally looked, frustrated, at Leonard standing next to and a little behind her.
Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he was trying hard not to sob. Penny rushed to hug him tightly.
"Shh, shh, it's all right. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I should have known better." And she kicked herself for forgetting how raw and open his emotions were. She could feel his sobs, and the beginnings of a telltale wheeze. She reached quickly into her purse for the inhaler she always carried and pressed it into his hand. He took two deep drags, and after a while his sobs subsided and his breathing returned to normal.
"I didn't mean to take you by surprise," Penny whispered. "And I'm so sorry I yelled at you. I just thought you weren't answering me on purpose."
Leonard took a deep breath, stepped back and looked into Penny's eyes. "You can't imagine how it makes me feel to know that you want to have children with me. What I said before about how I love you. Well, double that, triple it. I'm the luckiest man alive."
Penny shook her head. "I'm the lucky one. Such a brilliant scientist, such a kind, gentle, generous man, wants to have children with me. Me – a simple Nebraska farm girl; it's beyond anything I could have dreamed."
Leonard laughed. "You, simple? I beg to differ. But look at us. I think we just decided to have a baby."
Penny nodded and leaned back in for a tight hug. "I love you, Leonard."
Just then the pager went off. They jumped a bit, then headed back toward the pier and dinner.
A/N. Thanks especially to nibbler747 for encouragement, and for an idea used later in the story. All reviews, comments, and suggestions gratefully appreciated.