Baka Kiss

A/N: We all know about when Naruto got all in Sasuke's grill and they wound up tradin' spit. Well, yeah, 'twas stupid funny to me back in the day so here's round two.

The rooftop of Konoha High was barren, save for a very troubled blonde-haired, whisker-cheeked boy.

I can't believe I'm doing this, I just… what in the hell is wrong with me?

No amount of calming breaths could have settled Naruto's heart; it was forever on a fixed circuit around his ribcage, lapping over and over again, bringing him closer to the brink of passing out with every rattling exhale. He felt nauseous as he stood there, gripping the railing in a white-knuckled grip. The scenery spread out before him was grand, a maze of houses and shops that made up the great land of Konoha, and the wind was pleasant enough, it kissed his sweat-pebbled face and neck, but he couldn't leave, he knew he couldn't. After all, he had already dropped off the letter.

That stupid letter….

His jaw worked like he was chewing on something even though his mouth was completely barren, until he slowly uttered, "I must be crazy for doing this…."

"For doing what? And what's up with this weird ass letter, huh?"

A mad urge to simply throw himself over the railing caused Naruto to twitch in the appropriate direction but he fought it, mostly because he hadn't prepared a will beforehand and he would be damned if someone inherited his ramen collection. Instead, he forced a sigh and threw his head back, his eyes searching the cloudless sky for strength. He really, really didn't feel like going through with this….

But it's not like I have a choice, do I?

The sound of footsteps slowly approaching echoed from behind and that rumbling voice that Naruto knew so well resonated again. "Well? What's this all about, baka? I read the letter but there's no way you're serious….This is one of your stupid pranks, isn't it? Did you lure me up here to fight or something?"

Where Naruto was concerned, there was already a fight brewing, a deep, violent one right in the confines of his mind. One half wanted nothing more than to leave, right now, by any means necessary, while the other side felt that since they had come this far, they might as well carry on and see what happened. No matter which end Naruto felt was right, and he could barely feel anything past his anxiety, it didn't quell his heartbeat in the slightest.

The silence that hang after his visitor's question was beginning to drag into the awkward and it was only during that haunting moment of nothing that Naruto remembered he never went back on his word, that whatever he said, he meant, and whatever he promised, he kept.

Alright. Showtime.

It wasn't until his lips quirked up into that dare-devil grin that Naruto spun on his heels, flowing with the same kinetic energy and charisma that he normally did—and seeing that shift in vivacity caused the strange look of worry over Sasuke's face to dissolve with relief, replaced by that everyday snarky scowl as he brandished the letter Naruto had written.

"So what's this about?" he asked again, taking what Naruto could only assume to be a threatening step forward. The blonde almost laughed. Almost. "You got something you want to confess?"

"I confess…" began Naruto slowly, gently, and he matched the Uchiha's step, although his was far more playful, "that I think your ugly mug is actually pretty cute."

God, wherever you are, see me through this….

The sheer amount of surprise that sparked behind Sasuke's eyes showed just how much he had been expecting Naruto to say this was all a joke, that the letter, which was basically a goofily written love note of sorts, was nothing more than a prank.

Somehow, Naruto found himself chewing on his bottom lip, still smirking, still forcing himself to continue. He had come this far, gotten out the worst of it, now it was just a sprint to the finish line.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do—

A shockingly smooth hand cupped Naruto's whiskered cheek and he promptly ceased all thought with a sheepish squeak. He felt those slender fingers caressing his ear and if Naruto hadn't seen Sasuke eliminate the distance between the two of them, if he hadn't watched, seemingly in slow-motion, as Sasuke lifted that hand, Naruto would have never believed the Uchiha capable of such tenderness.

But there it was, leaving him speechless and wide-eyed.

Across from him, and so close that their pelvises were almost touching, Sasuke had adopted the most smug grin Naruto had ever seen, although there was no denying the slight blush rising in his cheeks. "So… the loud, little blonde finds his better attractive," he said royally, those sharp, raven black pupils burrowing deep into the cerulean pair struggling to keep his gaze. "I guess that's only natural, isn't it?" The question came out in a predatory rasp, clearly not requiring an answer. "The strong attract the weak… and you're weak for me, aren't you, baka?"

"Hey, hey, let's not get carried away, you ass," Naruto shot back derisively, although despite his biting response, he had reached up to cradle the hand at his cheek, allowing himself to enjoy the warmth there. "I said you're cute, that's all, it's not like I—"

It happened in an instant. One moment, Naruto had been so sure he could finish strong, and the next, Sasuke had rolled his eyes and took that definitive step froward, the one that removed any space between them and saw those scowling lips meet Naruto's with silencing force. The rest of Naruto's words fizzled into nothing against the press of Sasuke's mouth, and for a moment, his knee twitched with a longing to ram itself between Sasuke's legs—but the urge passed, their lips remained connected, and Naruto closed his eyes, remembering his part, and leaned back against the railing.

When Sasuke predictably followed, making sure to keep their mouths crushed together, even Naruto could feel the nervous tremors vibrating through Sasuke's figure, through the hand practically clenched at his cheek.

Glad to know he wasn't the only one nervous, Naruto was able to relax a bit, not too much, but enough to focus on the bringing his other hand up to Sasuke's chin, gripping it between his thumb and forefinger. With just the slightest bit of pressure, he pushed up, breaking their kiss, leaving both their lips glistening with the others saliva.

Naruto was panting, chest heaving; Sasuke looked voracious, exhaling like he had just run a mile.

Almost done, you're almost done—you gotta be by now, fuck… c'mon….

"For my supposed better, you sure are greedy, ya heavy-lipped jerk," Naruto observed breathlessly, with some semblance of a smirk.

This cute little confused glint settled into Sasuke's eye. "Heavy-lipped…? What exactly are you trying to say?"

Naruto gave the Uchiha a little nudge, still enamoring himself with the hand at his cheek. "You kiss hard, is what I'm tryin' to say, which leads me to believe you think my lips are delicious."

Ooooh, that came out all sorts of wrong….

Like it was taking every ounce of self-control to restrain himself, Sasuke rolled his eyes, his stance, while still pressed against Naruto, clearly showing he would rather put a mile of distance between them. "You taste… you t-taste like…."

Oh, come on, you jerk, not now… it's the last part! Don't fuck up now!

Even while Naruto screamed bloody murder within the confines of his mind, his face betrayed nothing but a coquettish grin. "I taste like… what?" he pushed softly, hoping to spur Sasuke over the finish line. "Tell me, I'm curious."

That was an extra line on Naruto's part and it was the sheer surprise of it that spurred Sasuke back on track. His fingers moved, tracing those whisker marks as if just noticing them for the first time and he moved closer until his forehead was touching Naruto's, until Naruto could feel the Uchiha's every exhale over his lips.

"You taste like ramen, fox flavored," he uttered throatily, ravenously.

"Annnnnnd CUT!" yelled a voice off to the side and from the shadows emerged a very triumphantly smiling Ino and a very crimson-cheeked Sakura, the latter of which was sporting a handheld camera. "Beautiful, simply beautiful, you boys did very well," she congratulated with a mocking golf clap.

"You can bite my ass, Ino," Naruto snapped, and he delivered a forceful shove to the boy in front of him, so forceful that they both staggered in opposite directions.

Ino clicked her tongue, not without a teasing giggle. "Awww, it's almost like you didn't enjoy that," she cooed, "which is a pity, because I know we sure did," and she motioned at herself and Sakura, who nodded valiantly. "You got it all, right Sakura?"

"Ooooh yeah, I got all the sweet angles," Sakura replied lavishly, hugging the recorder close to her chest like it were valuable treasure. When her enamored gaze rolled over Naruto and Sasuke, she couldn't help but lick her lips. "Honestly, I know you guys lost the bet and all but damn, I didn't really expect you to give such a… a performance. You two mix like blood and oil but you really had me thinking you had feelings for each other!"

Looking like he would love nothing more than to crush the recorder in Sakura's hand, Sasuke spat off to the side. "Fair's fair," he muttered, furiously wiping his lips. "I don't know how we got the lower test scores, but… it doesn't matter. We lost, you won."

"And we're men of our word," Naruto chimed in with a nauseated shudder. "But know this," he added, uncharacteristically solemn, "if that video winds up anywhere other than where it is right now—"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, my blonde little bonbon," Ino told him with a wink, "no one but us is going to see this."

Unable to hold it in any longer, Sakura let loose a gleeful squee. "And we're going to be seeing it multiple, multiple times."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Gross."

"You're free to think that, Mr. Heavy-Lipped," Ino said easily, and her eyes flitted between the two disgruntled boys. "I don't suppose either of you would care to make another little wager on next weeks test—"

In one fluid motion, Naruto lifted his middle finger and started for the stairway. "Up yours, Ino," he grunted and she giggled after him, shrugging. "And you…." Naruto paused next to Sasuke, the both of them exchanging glares so severe that one could almost see the lightning shooting from their eyes. "I thought you said it was a 'sure thing'. That's what you said, right? Back when we made that stupid bet?"

"Get your fucked up memory checked out, whisker-boy, because you're missing a vital addendum there," Sasuke said ruefully. "I said it was a sure thing as long as we each pulled our weight. Notice that, as long as we each. We each did not pull our weight. I pulled mine and then some. You were like a boulder tied around my waist."

The way Naruto flared his nostrils was comical, and the way he angled himself toward Sasuke without turning in his direction was every bit as menacing as the snarl on his lips. "I should've been able to make a straight zero, you specifically said it was a 'sure thing'. This, what we just did? That wasn't a sure thing, Sasuke, in fact, I'd go so far as to say it was the exact opposite of a sure thing. A none thing, if ya wanna get technical."

"That made zero fucking sense, just like your abysmal test score," Sasuke shot back, and there was a cold rage igniting behind his jet-black pupils, like the full brunt of what the two of them had just been subjected to was hitting home. And it was clearly pissing him off. "It was a two-man bet! I carried my part—what did you do?" he growled, snatching Naruto in by the neck of his shirt. "Jack shit!"

With a rumbling growl, one of Naruto's hand shot to the one holding him while the other grabbed a fistful of Sasuke's collar, dragging him just as close. "I'll jack you in the shit if you don't let go of me!"

"I'll take that bet!"

It crossed Sakura's mind to do what she usually did when the two of them started fighting, which was to jump in-between and forcibly separate them, but then she saw Ino, silently and urgently shaking her head while making a 'go on' motion with one of her hands.

Being the relatively smart girl that she was, Sakura instantly understood. Sticking out her tongue and stepping back into the shadows, she lifted her camcorder, hit record, and pointed it at the arguing boys. "So I take it this is like a, what, part two?" she whispered to her partner in crime and Ino smirked when Naruto jammed two fingers into Sasuke's mouth and pulled hard enough to make the Uchiha yelp.

"Nah, this is more like a behind-the-scenes. We're going to catch some bonus features."

"Nice."