This is a really bad fanfiction I wrote last summer. It doesn't exactly make much sense, I was just thinking about how many people Anakin lost, Qui-Gon, Shmi, Ahsoka, Padme for a while and kinda Obi-Wan. I think it's kinda one of the reasons he turned in ROTS. Anyways, I wrote this and now I'm posting it cuz I'm bored and the rest of my friends aren't in class so yeeeyyyy have a good day I guess. :)

I twirl the staff faster and faster, driving myself crazy as my eyes focus on the motion of it, my ears focus on the sound of the staff slicing through the air, and my mind not focused at all. I don't pay attention to where I am, even though I know I'm in the same place I've spent my time the last three rotations. I also let pass the intense hunger eating away in my stomach, I haven't eaten for at least a week, couldn't remember.

I hear the blast doors open to the training area, but I don't stop. I can't. If I do it'll all come back to me.

"Anakin." Says a familiar voice….my old master. I would stop, but I know that if I did I would fall back into the depression of all last week.

"Anakin, how long have you been here, in you two's training area?" He asks. I can sense his concern, but am suddenly annoyed he is even acknowledging who this training area belonged to. I put down the staff and it ignite my blue saber. It hums to life, and I begin to swing it around. "Since five last night." I say simply.

"You need to rest." He implies.

"I can't." I respond, grunting as I spun it around my sides.

Obi-Wan steps toward me. I turn so he can't see the water bubbling in my eyes.

"Anakin...she-"

"I'm fine!" I snap. If I think about her, I won't be able to stop. I push her out of my mind, but my heart doesn't want to let go.

"You can't just forget about her." I'm glad he knows me well enough to not step closer.

I turn, tears streaming down my face, I switch off my saber. "Thinking about her is hardp, Master." My voice shakes. "But I will never forget her." I hang my weapon on my belt.

"Do you want to forget her?"

I can't stop from crying. "I don't know, Obi-Wan…"

"She loved you, Anakin. That was clear." Obi-Wan says quietly.

I sink to the floor and he crouches beside me. I snort. "Hard to tell how." And swallow a sob.

Obi-Wan put a hand on my shoulder. "You know how." He says. I nod.

And just before she left...I started to think I loved her too.

I let it all out.

"I was so overprotective! I never let her out of my sights...I didn't want her to fall in love with someone else..but it's all so wrong, Obi-Wan! Me loving her, her loving me...but I-" I stop, wiping my wet face with the back of my glove. "I did. I do. I love her...and now she's gone."

Ahsoka Tano. She left the order, left me. Left me to fall more and more into a trance, the nightmare of never seeing her again. People I love, they all seem to leave one by one.

Qui-Gon.

Shmi.

Obi-Wan, (kinda).

And now Ahsoka.