Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or any of its characters. This is a mere piece of Fan Fiction and I do not lay claim on any of these characters. All copyrights go to the rightful authors.

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True Love is Letting Go

Chapter 1: Truth

By Hally Dang

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She survived.

She couldn't believe it herself. She had survived the 5 hour event that she had been dreading about for as long as she can remember. And now it's over. Over and done.

She can't say she was glad for them. Nor can she say that she was sad. She was content. As long as she was happy. Drawing in a deep breath she dropped the cherry blossom bouquet at her feet. And collapsing into her hotel bed, she was tired.

But her mind would not rest, would not stop thinking. Things seem to be happening so fast. It still feels like yesterday when she was chasing after Sakura capturing her every moment on tape. That was her joy, to be able to see her laughing and smiling. Her happiness had always been hers. Because, back then, Sakura was hers. Hers to worry about, to look after and to love.

And she wonders.

Can Sakura's happiness be hers still? After all, Sakura is Syaoran's now.

The question haunted her. Sent shivers down her spine. What will she be without her?

Nothing. Yes. She will be nothing. Sakura was her light, her reason, her very essence. And now…

She is nothing.

Void.

Without her knowing it, tears were streaming down her cheeks. She wiped her eyes with the white sheets, only to find more tears to blur her vision. Getting up, she headed for the bathroom.

The cold water felt refreshingly good against her skin. She looked up into the mirror. Her black hair was a mess, her amethyst eyes were even red from crying. And her white bride's maid grown was stained with a mixture of tears and make up.

Bride's maid. She was the maid of honor at Sakura's wedding.

Suddenly she had an urge to forget everything. To forget the wedding, Sakura, Syaoran, everything.

She struggled out of the white grown and prepared a shower. Jumping into the lukewarm water she let it soak her.

She wanted to get wet. She liked the feeling of water running down her body. She wanted to wash away her troubles. Rinse away the memories. Rid of pains and heartaches.

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The phone rang.

She quickly warped a towel around her hair and hurried to pick up the phone. "Hello?" She wondered who would call her at this hour.

"Tomoyo?" A bright voice chimed on the other end. "Is that you?"

Her heart jumped at the sound of Sakura's voice.

"Yes, it's me." She replied.

"You sound weird. Are you okay?"

"Of course I am, Sakura." She reassured her. "But never mind me, what about you? It is your big wedding night." She tired her best to put up a good show for Sakura. She prayed that Sakura wouldn't suspect anything is wrong.

"I know!" Sakura squealed. "I just can't believe I'm finally Mrs. Li! How long have I waited for this day?"

"Long enough." She said quietly. "I think I better let you go Sakura. I don't think your husband would appreciated if I kept you" --- I can't hold you this way anymore --- "on the phone."

"It's okay, Syaoran's in the shower." She paused. "You know, I just called to see if you are okay…" Sakura trailed off.

"I'm perfectly fine." She insisted but something in her stirred.

"After all these years…I just wanted to know if this wedding was just…too much…"

Her heart sank.

It felt like the world was collapsing on her.

She was falling.

And the world was spinning.

Faster and faster.

"Tomoyo? Are you still there?"

Sakura knew. She had known all along.

"Yes, yes I'm here." She managed to choke out.

"Yeah…so I guess I just wanted to let that out…"

"I understand Sakura." That was all she can manage. She was still in shock. How could of she had known? Her masks were always perfect. She always put up a flawless show. She had always thought…

"Syaoran's back!" Sakura hushed quickly. "Got to go."

"Bye."

"Before you hang up Tomoyo…"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I…wh…"

"Maybe not in the way I love Syaoran. But I love you."

The phone clicked.

And there was silence from the other end.

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She was still sitting dumbfounded on the bed with the phone in her hands. Her face blank and motionless. After all these years the truth was finally in the open. How hard had she tried to keep the reality away from everyone, but in the end she had failed.

She just couldn't figure it out. How in the world did she found out?

Perhaps it was better this way.

No more need for secrets.

No more need for hiding.

But now it hurts even more.

She was crying again. Tear after tear was rolling down her cheek. Everything she had ever dreaded was happening today. Everything. She felt like the ground was giving away and she was falling into a bottomless pit helplessly. No matter how hard she tried to climb up, she couldn't. She was trapped in a world where everything was falling part.

She wanted the pain to stop. She wanted a way out of everything.

She got down on the floor, leaning her back to the bed hugging her knees. And she cried her heart out.

Before she knew it she was in the bathroom with a razor blade in her hand. She wanted to let everything out.

Carefully she made a small cut on her inner arm.

And she watched the blood ran down her wrist.

Watched it drip down to the sink carrying with it all her troubles and agony.

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AN: Oh God! Did I just write all that?!?!? *ducking for cover as everyone starts to throw rotten tomatoes* Please forgive my angst ridden first chapter. I don't know what gotten over me. @_@

I promise there will be a happy ending to this already tragic and dark fic. (LOB: I hope you are happy, you Evil Person) I welcome flames, so if you want to tell me that you hate me for making Tomoyo a psychotic 'cutter', please do.