Rogue Note: I know, I KNOW I've been slacking. Sorry, but things are going a little weird with my family right now. I can't get into swing with AoaR yet, and I don't want to give you a less then par chapter; I'll end up beating myself to a pulp if I do. So, here's this, in response to last week's Addison-Alex...moment type thing. Keep in mind, this is probably totally non-cannon and if I had to place it somewhere, it would be right after the Shepherd divorce. It's short, and kind of random, but it's...something, right?

DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own Grey's Anatomy. If I did, this hookup would've happened LAST season.

It's supposed to be simple. There's love... and there's hate. There are those we truly care about, and those we just can't stand. The two sides are opposite. They're as different as noon and midnight. The line between them is clear. Or at least, it's supposed to be. Sometimes the line between them is difficult to find, and once you cross that line it can be nearly impossible to go back. Love and hate. It's supposed to be simple. But it's not, at least not anymore.

Alex Karev knew the boundaries between these two emotions perfectly, or at least he had. He was a master of clever remarks and witty comebacks, but he never outwardly expressed his hatred to anyone except for his fellow interns. He never expressed his love for anyone, ever. Alex wasn't so sure he'd ever even been in love. He was certain his hate record was large, and it had grown considerably in his internship at Seattle Grace Hospital. There were just so many people here, so many people that looked at him like dirt. So he hated them. It was just common sense.

But ever since that fateful day, ever since he'd gotten that page, things had shifted considerably. It wasn't anything serious, really. Alex was known to sleep around. It wasn't much of a surprise to anyone after Izzie and Olivia that he would end up going after other eligible female staff. He never got his hands on Meredith, for the simple reason that she always seemed to have men hanging all over her. And he'd never gotten any from Cristina, which in retrospect probably wasn't such a bad thing. In fact, Alex hadn't gotten any in a long time.

He suspected this was a key factor in his decision. It was only supposed to be one time. But one time turned to five, and five turned to ten. It went from a weekly thing to a daily thing. It evolved from tentative kisses to full-blown make out sessions. Eventually, though even Alex couldn't attest to the exact date, it moved to the next stage. Yes, ladies, Alex Karev is having sex again. No worries, though, because he's not off the market. Far from it.

It happened the same way every time. He'd be in the middle of filling out charts or running errands for Sloan, when his pager would go off. Alex often thought of simply ignoring it, but what if for once it really was an emergency? What if Bailey caught him ignoring a page? What if he liked it? No, Alex would assure himself, he did not like it. He didn't. Sex was sex. That was all there was to it. The fact that said sex was hot and probably only a means of relieving stress was besides the point. It didn't matter anyway. She had no real emotions for Alex. Alex had no real emotions for her. They were square.

The thing that really bothered him about the entire situation was that it was never him trying to get into her pants. As soon as Alex entered the room it never failed. She'd pin him to the wall, or to the bed, or to the floor, -they'd tried nearly every way possible- and then she'd just start picking and choosing which bit of it she wanted to see. She literally stripped his clothes off. Alex never touched her clothing. It was just the way things were. Again, though, it was very strange for him to be the one not into, almost resisting sex. But he never resisted it, no. It was too good to pass up, even if it was a sort of no-string-attached sort of deal. Frankly, that was the way Alex liked it.

He didn't like being the submissive one in the relationship. If he wanted to, he could overpower her easily. He could sit her down and tell her that he was the man here, he was the one wearing the pants (literally) and that he'd be the one to take them off. The fact of the matter was he wouldn't do that. Alex knew it was just a fling, it was just a stress reliever. God, didn't people use stress balls anymore?

"Hey-" he breathed through light panting. "What are you-?" Alex had been pressed against the door of the on-call room when suddenly the pressure was relieved. He tilted his head slightly to the side, moving to brush his sweat-soaked hair from his forehead.

"Shh," she hissed through the darkness. "You have rounds. Go."

"But-"

"Alex." Her tone was so irritating. He hated her tone. He hated her eyes. He hated her voice. He hated her hair. He hated everything about her. But the thing Alex hated the most was that he didn't think he hated her. He used to hate her. Back then, it was easy to hate her. But now, it was different.

Now, he couldn't hate her. It was physically impossible for Alex Karev to hate Addison Montgomery. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't go back to the way things were. Once you crossed that line, it was impossible to go back. And back on his side of the line, there was hatred. Where he was now? Well, you know that old saying 'there's a fine line between love and hate'? That is so true.

Alex Karev loved Addison Montgomery. It was easy to click in his mind, it was so clear. But he wouldn't say it out loud. He'd never say it out loud. Alex Karev wouldn't put his emotions at risk. There was always that chance that she didn't love him back. And that would not only be embarrassing, but it might crush him.

Alex quickly tied the string of his scrub pants and pulled his shirt over his head. He made to snatch his lab coat from the bed, but recoiled when she moved forward, placing a hand on his chest and pressing her lips lightly to his. She pulled away just as he leaned into it, leaving him slightly confused. This hadn't happened in a while; it was usually hot makeout sessions, or, well, what doctors usually do in the on-call room. They hadn't kissed, light and meaningful kissed like that, in a long time.

"Alex," she paused, inhaling deeply. It left him wondering for a brief moment, his mind reeling with possibilities. What was she going to say? Oh, God. She didn't want to see him anymore. She was going to break it off. She was going to say- "I love you." She said it softly, barely more then a whisper. He opened his mouth to respond, but she simply kissed him again, this time pushing him lightly toward the door. "Go. You have rounds." She closed the door after him, but he didn't go to rounds. He leaned back against the wall, fingers pressed to his lips.

You know that misconception people have about kissing the one you love, how there's supposed to be fireworks?

Alex just saw fireworks.