He knew it was his heart but it felt like it was in his head. The thumping of his heart pounded into his skull like a thousand tiny drums. He wiped some of the sweat off his forehead. His stomach did a somersault. He felt like he was going to throw up.

"I need it"

The sound of the shower shutting off in the next room snapped Sam out of his daze. Dean emerged from the bathroom, dressed with wet hair. He used a towel to dry it. His gaze shifted to his little brother sitting on the edge of his bed. "Sam?"

Sam looked up. "Yeah?"

"You okay?" Dean asked his voice laced with concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Uh, yeah I'm fine. Sorry." Sam said. "Just thinking."

"Huh." Dean said walking back into the bathroom to put his towel away. Dean peaked his head out of the bathroom and watched as Sam began rubbing his temples. He noticed a few days ago that Sam seemed...different. Something didn't set right about his little brother. At first he didn't think much of it. But then Sam started having nightmares, he heard Sam tossing, turning, and groaning in his sleep. But he didn't do anything. He wanted Sam to take care of whatever was going on by himself. But that didn't stop Dean's concern.

"You, uh, you ready to get going?" Dean heard Sam call from the other room.

"Yeah." Dean called back. "I saw a diner down the street. Let's get breakfast first." Dean walked out fully dressed and ready. "Let's bounce."

...

"What can I get you?" The waitress asked the brothers.

"Short stack, side of bacon, coffee." Dean told the waitress with a smirk.

She turned towards Sam. "For you hon?"

"Nothing for me. Thanks." Sam muttered with his head down.

"Okay then. Let me know if you change your mind." She said and walked off.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"

Sam looked up. "Nothing. Just not hungry. That's all."

"Why?"

"I don't know why. Just not hungry." Sam argued. "Just not feeling too well."

Dean knew when his brother was lying. There was seriously something wrong with his brother, and he intended to find out what it was.

"I'm going to the bathroom." Sam said quickly standing up.

Dean shook his head. "What the hell Sam?"

...

Sam sat down on the floor in the stall. He chose the big one at the end so he could sit. He grabbed his head with his hands and began rocking back and fourth. How was he supposed to deal with this? He needed the blood. Ever since they had captured a demon and tortured him for info, Sam saw the blood ooze from the demon and longed to taste it again. Just one taste. Dean left Sam alone with the demon.

"You know you want it Sammy." The demon taunted him. "You know you do." Sam grabbed the demons arm and sliced right through it. Ever since that one little taste two weeks ago, Sam felt the need again. The need to drink it.

Sam hated Ruby for getting him addicted in the first place. But he loved her at the same time for the same reason.

But there was just one problem. Dean. Sam knew that if Dean found out about this, he'd lock him back up in the panic room, he'd have his hallucinations again. He couldn't deal with that. He'd have to find away to drink without Dean finding out.

Sam heard the bathroom door open. "Oh God," Sam thought. "Please don't be Dean."

"Sam?" But it wasn't Dean's voice. "Sammy?"

Sam knew he shouldn't answer. But he was too tired to listen to himself right now. "Who's there?"

"I can help you." The voice said.

"Help me?" Sam asked. "With what?"

"Your problem."

Sam stood and opened the door, seeing a tall man with blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. "What problem?"

"The need for demon blood. I can help you. And Dean will never have to know" He said with a smirk.

Sam didn't care how he knew about his problem. If someone knew how to get him blood, without Dean knowing, he was all ears. "I'm listening."