Hello. I come from Poland and I'm not that good in English, that's why fic below is probably full of mistakes, but I hope you'll understand it. In the begging I've wrote it in my native language and than transaleted it. It's my first translation (even if not completely truthfull) and a second fic in English (the first one is about Gravitation).
Song Fic, Slash, Angst, Death Fic, quite AU
Pairings: LM/SS/LM and SS/SB
Author's Notes: This story was written before sixth book and is ignoring the fifth ;)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Even computer is school's. But I like playing with J.K.Rowling's toys . The song used in this fic is owned by band named Hoobastank and the title is "The Reason"
This is dedicated for Female Shinigami, all fans of Severus Snape and my cats – Luna and Riki.
„Are you completly insane? Someone will catch us!" black eyes glittered in the dark, clearly seen on the pale face of frightened teenager.
"A little bit of Griffindor's courage, Severus!" mocked his companion causing dark-haired boy to snort.
They were walking in silence through almost completly dark hallways for a while. They preferred darkness and that's why they were avoiding torches, even if they were really rare in that part of the castle. Two boys were keeping themselves in the shadows, unattainable for Filch or some lost teachers. Severus Snape knew that it wasn't likely that they would be captured, but he still was terrifed by this night escapade. He saw big different between spying Maruders or, when they detected him, running for half of the Hogwarts trying to avoid too close meeting a very irritated Sirius Black, and going to some unknown place with Lucius Malfoy.
He felt unsure a specialy when one of Lucius' hands was touching him on his back or arm. He felt quite good than actually, but still scared. Great, delicate hand of the handsome blond boy didn't help Severus to stop worry about where exactly were they going. Or for what.
„Could you please tell me, why the hell are we going there?" asked finally unpatiently, which caused only a smile from Malfoy, who looked quite proud of himself. More than normally.
"Because of the same reason you're tiptoeing every night through our dormitory, when everyone else is asleep, and sliding in my bed… And maybe finally for something more." Added Lucius couriusly watching blush on pale cheeks of his friend.
„You mean..." The only reaction from the other boy was a little bit bigger smile. "But... You're kidding, aren't you? Even you wouldn't be so stupid to do THAT in the astronomy tower!"
Unexpectedly Severus Snape acknowledged that he was rather painfully pinned to the wall by his friend's body, whose fists were clutching front of his robe. Steel-gray eyes suddenly completely serious were staring in the black eyes of the other teenager, who was trying to cover his fear.
„All couples are going there. And we will go there as well and you'll do exactly what I would want from you, do you understan?"
"Y-yes, Lou. I promise"
„Very good, let's go allready." Said Malfoy, again with the smile on his face, taking hand of his companion in his.
The Astronomy Tower actually wasn't used for years now. Some people were talking that some student in the act of anger and frustration cursed this place in some strange way. Telescopes, which had been here than, weren't showing stars which were existing, but only some the weren't. That way Astronomy classroom was removed on the other tower and this one was left unused until students found really great way pf using it.
There was one room. With old carpets, fireplace and some old matress taken from 'secret' house-elves' stores and beutifull ceiling, which was made of glass and showed stars. The real ones.
„It's beautiful" murmured Severus. He wasn't award that he said it aloud until he heard the lovely sound of Lucius' laughing.
„You see? And you didn't want to came here. I've reserved tower for all night, for us, so come here" said Malfoy, with a smile showing a place right beside him on the matrecce, finally wining Snape's attancion.
Lucius Malfoy was kissing hard. With a passion and sometimes a little bit of brutality. Sex with him was exactly the same. There wasn't anything from cuddling and slow delicatness of studying lover's body. It was hard, strong, brutal and hot, and Severus liked it more with every passing minute.
When finally tired and happy Severus was laying cuddled to his lover, he once again started watching night sky, which was looking at them and looked greater than normally. Greater than ever.
„You don't even know, how much I love you" he murmured in awesome hair of his lover.
"Oh, stop talking nonsense, Snape. A little bit of good sex you have mess in your head again. Maybe you really should be in Gryffindor? Hn?"
Severus didn't comment this, just stare on the gray smoke, slowly and lazily hovering from Malfoy's cigarette.
„Oh, your lovely, snaky Griffin" sighed Lucius, kissng Sverus again and killing his bad mood.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I've never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you.
Cold air filling up stony hall seemed to have no effect on Lucius Malfoy, who was sweating under his dark robe. He felt heat, because of his fear. Because of the fear caused by the person he was serving. Because of the fear caused by the person, who sitting on the black throne looking by his red eyes on his gathered Death Eaters.
„I told you about my plan in hope, that I'll loose any other possible spys. Severus Snape is not here. Someone has to warn him, that I pass a sentence at him. I ask you, who did that? If he was stupid enough to do this, he can as well step forward now. Do you think I won't know who did that? Do you think I'm not conjecturing, who did that? Don't make me a foul! Don't treat me like foul! Step forward you traitor! You, lion in snake's skin, hide between us. Maybe your punishment will be easier to take. Quicker."
Lucius Malfoy was never first to do something. Of course he always want to be the best, the greatest, but he never risk. He always have some support. He wasn't the type looking alone for danger Gryffindor. He was a Slytherin. He was finding out the wickest side of the danger. He hit the wickest spot and attack in the way that make possible for him to get out of the situation without getting hurt, or at least suffering minimal loss. He was the best in that, but know he rebel against one of the most powerfull wizards in the world. He batrayed him, warning his spy, who for years was cause of unsecsfull missions and mass arresting of Death Eaters.
Lord ended his speach and Malfoy shudered in fear. Red eyes were watching on every Death Eater, for a second longer looking on Lucius. In this moment he knew that Dark Lord doesn't have doubts about who betrayed, who was the only person able to cover Snape.
The rational part of his mind was telling him that You-Know-Who can't know, that maybe he'll be able to lie something, that probably he was looking the same way on every other of his masked slaves. The same part of his mind long ago has been telling him to become a slave of this red-eye monster, to make Severus one of them, to marry Narcissa... he had enough of this part of his mind.
Slowly, but firmy he step forward.
The second war started few years earlier. His friends were dying or getting send to Azkaban. Missions, which seemed to be easy, ended unsuccessfully. More and more frequently. Everyone were suspecting leak of information. A lot of them have their own thought about who is responsible for that, the worst was the fact that almost all of them suspect the same person.
Severus have changed from the times of the first war, lately it was even wars. Lucius didn't knew what to think about that. Maybe they were just more adult than then? Severus still willingly has sex with him, sometimes even starting it himself. But it wasn't the same boy with who Lucius has been dating in the weirdest place in Hogwart, starting from Astronomy Tower and ending in Hagrid's stables.
Black-haired man wasn't trying to change anything in their relathionship. He accepted Lucius domination and brutality. He didn't whisper silent declarations of love to half-sleeping blond, who would react growling wit anoience. That man was lost in far more quiet, calm and serious Potions Master. In the beginig Lucius thought that's allright. He was happy that Snape finished with stupid declarations and talks. He thought that his lover finally understood that when you love someone he knows about it.
It was like that before he noticed that when Severus comes back from Hogwart he has few marks after kisses on his neck and a little bit bigger smile.
„Didn't I tell that it'll end like that?" Walden MacNair was sitting in the little pub on Knockturn Alley, drinking some strange, smoking thing and talking with Lucius. "He's a spy. Everyone know about that! I'm surprised why Lord didn't do anything, yet. Lou, try to finally understood that he's sleeping with you just to get more information!"
„Don't do false motives to that, Walden. Maybe he's sleeping with someone else just because I've bored him. He doesn't have to be a spy."
„On a great snake of Salazar Slytherin! Malfoy just take this files to him, so he couldsend copies to Dumbledore before sundown, but get out of my sight! After next hour you'll tell me that you've made him this marks, whe you were asleep!"
Lucius only smirked to his friend and drank his wine. Than he nodded to MacNair and taking the files about new mission he apperated in the living room of his friend's London's apartament, where he was supposed to tell him about their new common mission.
When he decided to call him, chcecking if he was at home, he heard someone else screaming that name in a way that turned Malfoy's blood cold.
"Yes! Yes, Sev, please! Oh, Merlin, harder, please, Sev… Sev!" Moanes getting out from the bedroom actually didn't left any questions about what is going on behind them.
The blond man was standing for a minute almost as petrifed and just stared at the closed, white door. Suddenly he was aware that he wasn't mistaken about Snape, but even more was frightening him a thought that he actually recognized the other male voice from the bedroom. He was trying to forgot this thought, because it was to surreal to be true. Unfortunetly Severus didn't let him stay in a good condition of not-knowing.
"Yes, Siri… Oh, yes… you're so hot… Sirius!"
Malfoy dissaperated from there as quickly as he can, deciding that he can as well send the documents by owl. He wasn't able to stay for at least a minute longer.
When Severus Snape came back to the mansion of Dark Lord Lucius was more brutal to him than normaly. For a split second he thought that in a dim light he saw tears of pain in the eyes of his dark-haired lover, but he didn't care about that. He knew that there is at London someone to comfort Severus and he was mad about that. He was slideing in and out of Severus harder and harder. More brutally than ever.
I'm sorry that I've hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I've put you trough
I wish I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you.
And the reason is you.
And the reason is you.
And the reason is you.
„Well, well... Mister Malfoy, a perfect DeathEater, the proud of his family. You have had a great future before you, Malfoy, but you've lost it because of such a stupid move."
Lord Voldemort continued his speach to kneeling before him Lucius, who was less and less looking as this proud ant handsome man, he was not so long ago. Now, after the first part of tortures his hair was in a mess and there was a blood sinking from his nose, as well as from the wound caused to him by the people that few hours before were his friends.
"Why did you do that? What may be the right reason to end like this? Answer me!" The Dark Lord wanted to find out the answers for qustions that were tormenting Lucius as well for some time.
Malfoy slowly lifted his head and looked right into red eyes of his executioner and ex-Master.
"Severus was my only reason" he answered quietly, because he didn't knew better or more trouthfull answer.
Lucius lacked the letter with his seal and added some defencive curses. His hands were shaking, but he knew that he have to help Severus and that was the only thing he could do. After the Lord said them he knew that Snape is a spy and he pass a santence at him, Lucius had to react somehow. He went to his chambers and wrote a the most important letter in his life.
And the last one as well.
"' Dear Severus,
I'm writing to you, because I posses some information, which is very important to you. The Dark Lord know that you are a spy. Don't try to talk him or explain yourself. He passed a sentence at you and he told as about that probably just to check us. Do not waste my stupid, Gryffindors action, Severus.
Having an occasion I would like to apologize to you for my absence in the second promised you night, which was supposed to be your birthday's present. I was not able to do that. I knew that Black will be better than me. Yes, I do know about your betrayal to me, but after I saw how you were acting your first birthday's night this year with me, I know as well that he have to show you a lot of affection. Tough we both know that he does not love you and never will be. It stupid from that you chose the man, who tells you, he loves you above of man, who really does.
I hope you will be able to life happily, when you will not be a spy anymore.
Goodbye, Lucius "'
I'm not a perfect person
I've never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know…
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you.
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
Severus come back to the Dark Lord for the rest of the summer after a great weekend which he spend in London. He slowly entered his room, where as always was waiting for him Lucius, sitting in the most comfortable chair, staring at the fireplace.
He turned back only after the clicking sound of closing door.
"Hello, Severus… Came here, to me" he said reaching for his lover.
Snape slowly came over to him and sit on his laps, letting Lucius to kiss him in the way that left hm gasping for air.
„And what are we celebrating to day? There's some saint?" he asked with a smile.
„Happy birthday, Severus" murmured Mafoy, showing Snape his hand, where was a big, red cockade. "How do you like your present for tonight?"
Severus smiled happily "And can I do whatever I want with my present tonight?"
Lucius smiled back at Severus, who actually was catch in his trap. Only that way he was able to find out what really makes Severus feel good and what he have to do to make Snape forgot about Black.
"But my birthday was yesterday…" murmured Potions Master pouting a little.
"Yestarday I couldn't gave you my present" answered Lucius. 'Though I'm sure someone take car of that' he added in his mind looking at Severus' collar, which was trying to cover kissmarks.
"Well I deserve something extra than" said sneaky dark haired Slytherin and his lover just lifted his brow in unsaid question. "Tonight I'll make love to you as well as I can and tomorrow you'll EXACTLY the same for me, what I'll do to you, allright?"
Lucius just looked unsure at Severus, but seeing hope in this dark, deep eyes he decided that it actually fill up his plan quite allright, so he just smiled and nodded.
It started from the kisses. Kisses that Lucius never knew before. Slow, delicate and full of passion and that feeling that theoretically wasn't exicting between them. That feeling was in all Snape's moves. As if he wanted to tell by his body all of this unsaid declarations. Malfoy find out that what they do to that moment was just fuck. Now, they made love. For the first time.
Sometimes Lucius lied unsure what to do, when Severus was suprising him with his delicate touch and crassness. When he entered Lucius, the blond man felt just a little hint of pain and than tears rolled down his cheaks. Fortunetly Severus didn't saw them. He wouldn't understand, that his lover just understood how much he lost and that he would never have this back.
As well as Snape.
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you…
„That was stupid, Lucius. You had a chance for really great future, but you've made a terrible mistake, do you know what it was?"
The hissing voice get a little asttansion from half-concussion Malfoy, lyeing covered in his own blood under his master's feet.
„That I've become a Death Eater?" he murmured and his voice came out as a horase whisper, but Lord did heard him. And hardly kicked him in the ribs. Fortunetly, the last one.
„You are stupid, Lucius, he won't even remember thatyou have died for him, but if that's your wish… Avada Kedavra!"
Green light hitted Malfoy's back and quickly become brighter. Taking away the pain, awarnes, everything. Forever.
The End