Petra: Well, guys, here's a fic that I wrote on the spur of the moment, as most fics happen, by asking a simple "Why?" as most fics do start. Well, I was playing FFX (which I still haven't beaten -_-; *sigh*) and I couldn't help but wonder what Yuna must have thought of Tidus when she first saw him, I mean, he's really different looking. So, here it is, my trilogy, the first time Yuna, Lulu, and Rikku saw Tidus and what they thought.
Kati: Actually, it started out as just what Yuna thought and then, from there, it became a trilogy...
Petra: *sigh* My fics seem to do that a lot, don't they? Ah well... Here's a big shout out to Jen-chan who agrees with me, if Tidus were real, he wouldn't get away from us!
DEDICATED: To you, the readers, of course, and to anyone who has had their innocence and smiles wiped away, or don't know what they are, stay strong... there's always hope...
WARNING: Kinda angsty, really not that bad in my opinion also IMPROTANT: If you haven't at least gotten to the part past the Al Bhed home with Yuna in her white dress (those of you who got to this part know what I'm talking about) DO NOT READ unless you wish some of the story spoiled for you.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own this story/characters though I wish I did, because if I did, I would be rich and could sit and write fanfics ALL the time!!
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When I First Saw Hope
"He wept as he hadn't wept in years. A tear for each pain, each moment in his life when his soul had criedout for hope and found none." -Lauren; Good-bye (GW)
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TIME: When Yuna firsts start crying at Macalania Lake, but right before Tidus kisses her.
It's funny for me to remember back to that moment and realize that I didn't even notice you at first. I didn't even notice the person who would change my world beyond recognition and make my insides feel as if they had been taken out and then put back in wrong. I wonder, sometimes, what would have happened if I hadn't met you, if I hadn't first set my eyes on you.
I remember it clearly and, every time I find myself with no thoughts, the memory of that life changing moment invades my mind...
....
....
....
I was so tired, the door before me blurred and shifted in color and shape as I took an unsteady step forward. I could feel exhaustion and joy pulsing through my veins and, in the back of my mind, I wondered how long I had been praying. The only thing I could hear was my own breathing, the only thing I could feel was the new ability, this other heart, that beat with each beat of my heart. I could taste my sweat and, as I pushed the door open, I almost didn't have enough strength. I stumbled as I stepped out but caught myself and, instead, wove dangerously a few steps.
My guardians, my friend's, faces blurred into shapeless blobs. I could see someone who I didn't recognize step as though to catch me but my vision was blocked by Kamahri, who caught me instead.
"Yuna all right?" he asked, his deep voice rumbling in my ear and sounding almost like a growl. I put a gentle hand on his arm and squeezed, smiling at him reassuringly as I stood up, trembling slightly, and then looked my friends smiling, "I've done it! I have become a summoner!" I could see joy and apprehension shining in Lulu's face... and Wakka was there too... it is then that I see you... Tidus...
You were watching me and I could see clearly the concern deep in the blue depths of your eyes, though I know I did not know you. It was only later when that concern became so much more important to my sanity; when I began to realize that you truly were from Zanarkand, and that you hadn't truly known who I was, that you weren't concerned because I was the hope for Spira, because I was the High Summoner's daughter. You were concerned for me and only me, not the daughter, not the Summoner, not the hope of all Spira... just me...
You were strange, with your bright clothes and extremely different style... and then there was the way you acted. You acted as if you hadn't had to live with Sin everyday of your life. You ran with an ease that was strange to me and smiled so easily and brightly it made me wonder where you were from, for you could not be from this torn world. You reminded me of a child, sometimes, with the way you were always asking questions of things you should have known.
I think when I first realized exactly how I felt for you was when I had finished my first Sending, and I had gone to cry into Lulu's shoulder. Out of the corner of me eye I saw you watching me. I watched you, knowing that you didn't know I was doing so, and was surprised to note there was more pain in your gaze then there had to be in mine, that your hands were clenched so tightly at your sides they were deadly white... You took a step toward me and half reached out your hand... and then you stopped. Before you turned away I saw something flicker in your gaze. It was the look of someone who longs to be part of the world around him, part of the group, but knows that he will be forever apart from the world he is stuck in. It was then that I had to ask you.
I knew that Lulu thought I had a crush on you when I asked you to become my guardian. In fact she told me so. She didn't like you much, because of the way Wakka saw you as Chappu reborn or something, the way you didn't seem to know our customs... I believe she envied your innocence, the way each new thing brought you either pain or joy or grief; few people in Spira are able to express emotions as easily as you do.
Now, you're not like you were in the beginning, you're becoming more serious and I don't know if I can stand you without your smile in place. You still joke and smile as you used to but, it doesn't reach your eyes as much anymore. I fear... I fear you're becoming too used to Spira, too used to our Sin filled world. I want you to go back to where you came from, I want you to stop making me feel like this... I want you to keep on laughing. I want you to live.
What happens if you die because of me? I couldn't keep going on. Who would be my smile for me, who would always care for me despite all the rules, as the way you did that first time? Who will show me what people can be like without Sin? Who will show me what I have to fight for? Who will believe in me unconditionally? Who will I love?
... Do you remember that look on your face when Seymour kissed me? I do, and I loved you all the more for it. Do you know Lulu told me about what you said about me and love, that I should marry for love... Would you marry me then? I remember when I kissed him half me was repulsed and the other half of me was wishing that it was you I was kissing, that it was you holding me tight... "Don't worry. I can fly. Believe." And you did. Even though you called out my name with fear in your voice and Lulu later told me you tried to go after me, you still believed in me, I know you did... but... I had to leave you behind...
... ... ... ...I fear I'll always leave you behind......
For you're alone. You're all alone in a world that doesn't recognize you for who you really are, a world that never will. You're alone in a world where the only person that can make you part of it, cannot, for I have a duty that is more important than this love, this love that makes me want to live... You're alone, like me, separated by an invisible line that keeps you from living. Oh Yevon... what am I to do? My heart is telling me to hold you close even as I push you away. I don't want your smile to disappear, for then does my hope. I want you to leave so I will never see the day you no longer smile...
So... now you know about the Final Aeon... I meant to tell you, I really did... but... things just happened. At first it didn't matter, you weren't my guardian and soon we would be parting again. After you came with us though, I kept trying to remember to tell you, before you could get hurt, but I kept forgetting... and then, by the time I knew I had to tell you, I couldn't. The thought that it would bring you pain made my heart break.
Yevon... whatever Power is listening... Send Tidus back to where he came from... Tidus... Go back... Go back to where you came from, I beg of you, go back before I can no longer turn away, before they can no longer hold you back with meaningless rules. Go back to a place that never sleeps, where lights like stars flicker slowly off as red stains the ocean and then the sky... Go back... and give me hope for tomorrow.
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.
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Petra: I actually really like this story. It is, in my opinion, the true conflict that Yuna must face everyday when she sees Tidus. She loves him, but she can't bare the thought of him, so full of life, to live in such a broken world. She doesn't want to make his cry, but she must die to bring forth the final summons... No matter what she does, she cannot seem to live without conflict. It's really rather sad but, sometimes in life, there can be no happy endings.
Kati: I hope you enjoyed the story, R&R, you know what to do...
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."
-Rose Marie Ledam
~Petra Megami Assari~
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess*
Kati: Actually, it started out as just what Yuna thought and then, from there, it became a trilogy...
Petra: *sigh* My fics seem to do that a lot, don't they? Ah well... Here's a big shout out to Jen-chan who agrees with me, if Tidus were real, he wouldn't get away from us!
DEDICATED: To you, the readers, of course, and to anyone who has had their innocence and smiles wiped away, or don't know what they are, stay strong... there's always hope...
WARNING: Kinda angsty, really not that bad in my opinion also IMPROTANT: If you haven't at least gotten to the part past the Al Bhed home with Yuna in her white dress (those of you who got to this part know what I'm talking about) DO NOT READ unless you wish some of the story spoiled for you.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own this story/characters though I wish I did, because if I did, I would be rich and could sit and write fanfics ALL the time!!
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When I First Saw Hope
"He wept as he hadn't wept in years. A tear for each pain, each moment in his life when his soul had criedout for hope and found none." -Lauren; Good-bye (GW)
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-
TIME: When Yuna firsts start crying at Macalania Lake, but right before Tidus kisses her.
It's funny for me to remember back to that moment and realize that I didn't even notice you at first. I didn't even notice the person who would change my world beyond recognition and make my insides feel as if they had been taken out and then put back in wrong. I wonder, sometimes, what would have happened if I hadn't met you, if I hadn't first set my eyes on you.
I remember it clearly and, every time I find myself with no thoughts, the memory of that life changing moment invades my mind...
....
....
....
I was so tired, the door before me blurred and shifted in color and shape as I took an unsteady step forward. I could feel exhaustion and joy pulsing through my veins and, in the back of my mind, I wondered how long I had been praying. The only thing I could hear was my own breathing, the only thing I could feel was the new ability, this other heart, that beat with each beat of my heart. I could taste my sweat and, as I pushed the door open, I almost didn't have enough strength. I stumbled as I stepped out but caught myself and, instead, wove dangerously a few steps.
My guardians, my friend's, faces blurred into shapeless blobs. I could see someone who I didn't recognize step as though to catch me but my vision was blocked by Kamahri, who caught me instead.
"Yuna all right?" he asked, his deep voice rumbling in my ear and sounding almost like a growl. I put a gentle hand on his arm and squeezed, smiling at him reassuringly as I stood up, trembling slightly, and then looked my friends smiling, "I've done it! I have become a summoner!" I could see joy and apprehension shining in Lulu's face... and Wakka was there too... it is then that I see you... Tidus...
You were watching me and I could see clearly the concern deep in the blue depths of your eyes, though I know I did not know you. It was only later when that concern became so much more important to my sanity; when I began to realize that you truly were from Zanarkand, and that you hadn't truly known who I was, that you weren't concerned because I was the hope for Spira, because I was the High Summoner's daughter. You were concerned for me and only me, not the daughter, not the Summoner, not the hope of all Spira... just me...
You were strange, with your bright clothes and extremely different style... and then there was the way you acted. You acted as if you hadn't had to live with Sin everyday of your life. You ran with an ease that was strange to me and smiled so easily and brightly it made me wonder where you were from, for you could not be from this torn world. You reminded me of a child, sometimes, with the way you were always asking questions of things you should have known.
I think when I first realized exactly how I felt for you was when I had finished my first Sending, and I had gone to cry into Lulu's shoulder. Out of the corner of me eye I saw you watching me. I watched you, knowing that you didn't know I was doing so, and was surprised to note there was more pain in your gaze then there had to be in mine, that your hands were clenched so tightly at your sides they were deadly white... You took a step toward me and half reached out your hand... and then you stopped. Before you turned away I saw something flicker in your gaze. It was the look of someone who longs to be part of the world around him, part of the group, but knows that he will be forever apart from the world he is stuck in. It was then that I had to ask you.
I knew that Lulu thought I had a crush on you when I asked you to become my guardian. In fact she told me so. She didn't like you much, because of the way Wakka saw you as Chappu reborn or something, the way you didn't seem to know our customs... I believe she envied your innocence, the way each new thing brought you either pain or joy or grief; few people in Spira are able to express emotions as easily as you do.
Now, you're not like you were in the beginning, you're becoming more serious and I don't know if I can stand you without your smile in place. You still joke and smile as you used to but, it doesn't reach your eyes as much anymore. I fear... I fear you're becoming too used to Spira, too used to our Sin filled world. I want you to go back to where you came from, I want you to stop making me feel like this... I want you to keep on laughing. I want you to live.
What happens if you die because of me? I couldn't keep going on. Who would be my smile for me, who would always care for me despite all the rules, as the way you did that first time? Who will show me what people can be like without Sin? Who will show me what I have to fight for? Who will believe in me unconditionally? Who will I love?
... Do you remember that look on your face when Seymour kissed me? I do, and I loved you all the more for it. Do you know Lulu told me about what you said about me and love, that I should marry for love... Would you marry me then? I remember when I kissed him half me was repulsed and the other half of me was wishing that it was you I was kissing, that it was you holding me tight... "Don't worry. I can fly. Believe." And you did. Even though you called out my name with fear in your voice and Lulu later told me you tried to go after me, you still believed in me, I know you did... but... I had to leave you behind...
... ... ... ...I fear I'll always leave you behind......
For you're alone. You're all alone in a world that doesn't recognize you for who you really are, a world that never will. You're alone in a world where the only person that can make you part of it, cannot, for I have a duty that is more important than this love, this love that makes me want to live... You're alone, like me, separated by an invisible line that keeps you from living. Oh Yevon... what am I to do? My heart is telling me to hold you close even as I push you away. I don't want your smile to disappear, for then does my hope. I want you to leave so I will never see the day you no longer smile...
So... now you know about the Final Aeon... I meant to tell you, I really did... but... things just happened. At first it didn't matter, you weren't my guardian and soon we would be parting again. After you came with us though, I kept trying to remember to tell you, before you could get hurt, but I kept forgetting... and then, by the time I knew I had to tell you, I couldn't. The thought that it would bring you pain made my heart break.
Yevon... whatever Power is listening... Send Tidus back to where he came from... Tidus... Go back... Go back to where you came from, I beg of you, go back before I can no longer turn away, before they can no longer hold you back with meaningless rules. Go back to a place that never sleeps, where lights like stars flicker slowly off as red stains the ocean and then the sky... Go back... and give me hope for tomorrow.
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-
IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.
-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-
Petra: I actually really like this story. It is, in my opinion, the true conflict that Yuna must face everyday when she sees Tidus. She loves him, but she can't bare the thought of him, so full of life, to live in such a broken world. She doesn't want to make his cry, but she must die to bring forth the final summons... No matter what she does, she cannot seem to live without conflict. It's really rather sad but, sometimes in life, there can be no happy endings.
Kati: I hope you enjoyed the story, R&R, you know what to do...
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."
-Rose Marie Ledam
~Petra Megami Assari~
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess*