One-sided AmeCan. From Canada's POV. Human names used. Song fic, I used the song All The Same by Sick Puppies.

All The Same.

I don't know why I always let him do this. Alfred always runs off to Arthur, only to get his heart broken and come back to me in a mess of emotions.

Its not like I try to stop him. I know there isn't anything I can do about it unless I just stop being there for him; but that just isn't who I am. That isn't the real Matthew Williams.

Even when Alfred and I were growing up he would always come to me when he was hurt. I wasn't always able to do something to make his pain go away, but I was always there to comfort him. Maybe he got too used to that.

I know he loves me, and he knows it too; but I also know that he doesn't love me the way that I love him. I know that my love for him is the same as his love for Arthur.

To him, I'm like the brother that he never had. To me, he is the other half of my soul.

Arthur just uses him. I know deep down that Arthur isn't a bad person, but after seeing Alfred after their fights, I can't help but hate the man. He doesn't know what he has. Alfred would do anything for him, yet if Alfred makes one small mistake then Arthur kicks him to the curb. When that happens, Alfred always ends up on my doorstep.

I don't think that he knows how much I love him. I don't think he realizes how much it hurts me to see and hear him cry. I know he doesn't realize how much my heart breaks everytime that I have to fix him, just to have him going and getting hurt again.

I wish he knew.

I wish I could tell him.

I wish that Arthur would just stop toying with his heart.

But those are just wishes. It would be foolish of me to believe that any of them would come true. Even though it pains me to say it, I don't mind that he comes to me when he is at his worst. Because in a way it means that I have a part of him that Arthur will never have.

I have the most fragile part of him.

And I will take whatever I can get from him, because I know that it means somewhere in his heart he knows that I can and will protect him.

When we were children all I had to do was tell him the monsters weren't real and hold him for a little while.

If only it was still that simple.

Even though it probably isn't healthy for me to just sit and wait for him to come crying back to me, I continue to do it. I should go out and try to find someone who can give me the love that I need. But doing that would be like giving up the glimmer of hope that I see everytime I hold Alfred when he is down.

One of these days, I'm hoping, he confesses to me that he thought that he doesn't deserve me. I'm not trying to put myself on a pedistal, but it would make sense. He can't read people well, so it would make sense that he doesn't notice the difference between my caring for him as a friend as opposed to caring for him as something more.

Maybe he will realize that I love him. Maybe he won't. I hope he will.

I have to go now, I think that he's at the door.