Disclaimer: AS IF Sirius or Dumbledore had died when I would own this. I don't own anything. But I love to kidnap them all and chain them to my wall.

Redeem me

They were fighting and he was hit again and again. He didn't have it into him anymore to give as well as he took. He didn't want to struggle anymore. He was tired and spent and he wanted to have peace. Not peace as the opposite of war, because this war was fought and won and he was no soldier or weapon anymore. No he wanted to have peace in his soul and in his mind. No more self-punishment, no more blame and no more pain. But he knew that the pain wouldn't go away and so he had to accept it, embrace it and hold it as a dear memories of the things he lost.

And while he accepted every piece of his torn soul he also embraced a part he didn't know was there. It had been well hidden and protected for so long that it became a part of his innermost being. And now as every abounded part was set on a new place and even the darkest wish was aloud to surface, the boundaries that were holding it back weakened and it broke free. It found something similar to itself and they interweaved with each other. They did not change or melt into each other but became equal in value.

Because when you hide something in your heart for to long, it will change you entirely when it is freed.

Harry didn't recognise anything of these changes he just felt that his feelings slowly came to a rest and not longer seemed to hound him. He had stopped defending himself long ago and had curled op in a ball and just held his hands over his head because of survival instinct. Now the blows seemed to come slower and less forceful, so he relaxed and turned to face his attacker.

Immediately he was hit hart in the face and than grabbed at his collar and yanked up to look into his attackers face.

He saw ice and silver shining with the cold grace of moonlight, the sad brother of the happy sunray. They were so close that if he leaned forward a bit more they would meet. There were words thrown into his face, words spoken with anger, with hatred and words of isolation.

"I dare you….How could you….left….my family…..pay for…..leaving….my…..return to…..You are to stupid to understand that…..first time we met I knew…..You…..had to…..be…….-who-lived…..never listened to me…..listening?...I will tech you not to listen to me when I am talking to you!"

And again he was hit, but this time it didn't hurt. Because it wasn't really meant to hurt, it was just meant to emphasize his stupidity. How he appreciated this blame, because it showed him that the only problem had been his inability to listen. But now he was able to listen and he would be delighted with every thing he could get and if it was well deserved punishment he would take it and hold it dear, because it was the greatest show of affection he deserved for his stupidity. But he would be good and redeem himself worthy of the real affection and then he would gain what his insecurity and weakness had refused him to have.

The next blow was even more delightful than the last one and the next made him moan in pleasure. He wanted more punishment, more affection, more touch and more caresses for his soul. But the next one never came. He was confused and looked into his true loves face to get to know what happened. What he saw was utterly confusion.

"Please! More!"

"MORE? Have you totally lost it? What do you mean with more? Do you want me to hit you again?"

"Yes! Punish me, hurt me, make me pay and afterwards forgive me and hold me dear. Make me yours and make me listen. Love me. Please!"

"You ask me to….love you? Since when do you feel like this?"

"Since ever! But I hid it even from myself."

He was still panting from his earlier arousal and this seemed to have an effect on the other one. He leaned towards him and asked huskily:

"You want me to make you mine? You want me to keep you? And you will take every pain I inflict on you as something you deserve and also enjoy?"

He could only node because the way the other looked at him let shivers run up and down his spine.

"You have to recognise that you asked for this. Because know I will take you and believe me, if you don't love pain as much as you may think you do, you will suffer and be more redeemed than you can imagine."

"Please Draco! Don't make me wait if you want it too!" Was everything Harry managed to say in his current state of mind.

This confession made the breath of the boy on top of him hitch. Even Harry's fogged mind could figure out that the other one was gathering his mental strength when Draco was hovering over him with tightly closed eyes and struggled to take deep gulps of air. What he couldn't get was the why, because he had just told him that he had free reign over his body and mind.

But he knew that he would get just as many information as he was allowed to have and so he waited patiently until Draco had collected himself. When the eyes above him opened, Harry knew immediately that he had succeeded in making Draco angry again.

Draco's eyes were clouded and dark. They spoke of revenge, punishment and raw emotions. Harry was so caught up in figuring out what he had to expect, that he was totally surprised when he was roughly jerked up and grabbed so tight that it hurt. Without taking any interest in the injuries Harry had suffered in the previous fight, Draco started to drag him through the corridor their fight had started in. After a few minutes Draco shoved him into a room and suddenly let his arm go. Without any warning Harry had no chance to gain his equilibrium and fell face first down on the hard stone floor.

Before he could even try to get back to his feet a shoe was put between his shoulder-blades and pushed him hard on the ground. The pain and the image this position called to his mind made him moan again. Above him he could hear Draco's breath becoming shallow and fast, if it was because of anger or arousal he could not identify but for him it was a major turn on.

Abruptly the shoe changed into a knee and Harry now could hear Draco's breathing right at his ear.

"What are you trying to do you dirty little bastard? Did you wanted to be taken right there in the open? What if I had hurt you so badly that you wouldn't be able to get back into your common room? How can you be so careless with your reputation? … But we wouldn't be here if you would care about anything, wouldn't we? How can you be so self-destructing? But you know that I can not let you carryon with that kind of behaviour. And do you know why?"

While Draco was talking his voice changed from angry and tensed, over calm with an hint of desperation, to low and seductive. The only thing Harry could try was a weak imitation of a no because of the limitation of his head movement and momentary inability to form coherent words.

"No? Then I have to tell you that no one is allowed to harm my things! Do you get it? Then now let's get to the part where I can break my things as often and as much as I like."

Right after the last statement the knee left Harry's shoulders and he was turned. So now he lay flat on his beck facing the ceiling and a pretty aroused looking Draco, who right away started to undress him. Draco didn't waist any thought about buttons or zips and tore the offending clothes right of the willing body below him. When the yeans offered to much resistance it was ripped apart by a spell and with it the pants.

"I am going to fuck you dry so you better start to relax now or you will prove my ownership until next week."

After this statement Harry supposed that he would be jumped immediately but Draco just stared at a plaice behind him. After a moment Draco rose and looked down at Harry sneering.

"Crawl there and bend over it. You are such a weakling that we need something I can bugger you into to get enough resistance to satisfy me."

Harry turned over and came to look at an enormous four-poster bed. It was just a bit more spacious than a normal double but the high was what made it special. It was so high that Harry his legs straightened when he bent over the edge how he was told to do. He also was also standing on a step to gain a bit of additional high, which was necessary because Draco was quite a bit taller than the savoir of the world.

Draco had followed Harry to the bed and now rubbed the front of his trousers against Harry's backside. The bulge of his prick slid between Harry's cheeks and pushed against his hole.

"Are you so much begging to be taken, you whore? You like to be treated like the dirty slut you are? I will show not to be so dame fucking eager."

The pressure from behind caused Harry to be pushed hard into the bed frame. But the expected pain from his supposed to be bruised erection didn't come. Even if the bed frame looked pretty much like wood it felled like the mattress with its silk sheets. But all thoughts about missing pain vanished when he felled Draco's erection at his entrance.

When Draco couldn't stand the material between them he spelled all of his clothes of. He positioned his freed prick at Harry's hole and gathered his control while he waited fore Harry to become impatient. At the same time as he felled Harry pushing back against him he slammed completely inside with just one move. He was so aroused by now that he nearly missed Harry's scream, but he heard it nevertheless and it made him shiver and stay motionless for a moment before he nearly pulled out and slammed back again.

Every move was accentuated with a scream. The screams where those of pain and pleasure, but the pain was overpowering the pleasure a bit more with every move.

"You bastard, you prick, you liar! You said that you wanted it! You said that you needed it! I hate you! You made me a rapist! Why did you do that to me? I don't like that kind of stuff. Can you feel it, I am getting limp again! I hate you."

With these last words Draco bent over and laid down on Harry's beck.

To say that Harry was shocked would be an understatement.

First the experience wasn't as pleasant as he had expected from his earlier feelings towards the beating.

Than the blond had stopped and had complained about hurting Harry.

And now he heard the breath above him becoming more uneven with second.

"Are you ok?" A timid voice asked Draco from under him.

"I don't answer stupid questions like that." Was the sobbed answer.

"You don't have to treat me bad if you don't want to."

"And watch you when you rip yourself apart? Thank you! But no thank you!"

"You can still insult me and hit me when we fight. You can just be gentler in …ehm bed?"

"Ok I can live with that. But I don't want you to look at me at the moment I first have to make up to you. I will pull out and then you climb on the bed and lay down without turning."

The only answer he got was a soft nod. Draco tried to be as careful as he could be without prolonging the pain to much. When they were separated he nearly jumped to his wand and back to the bed without touching the ground. He quickly cast a heeling spell on Harry and afterwards snuggled close to his back without putting pressure to the lower part. His arm cam to rest on Harry's side and crawled down until it was like a blanket for the smaller boy.

"Ehm…Draco?"

"Shut up, I want to cuddle. I need some distraction before I can get back in the mode to make it up to you." Was the brisk answer to the unsure half-question and it was rewarded with a chuckle and a tugging at the arm to come even closer.

When I get some nice reviews maybe I will want to continue!